cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Klass99:


Proximity has a way of creating the right conditions for things to happen.

Knowing madam is just upstairs during a hoorny episode, will be an easier thought to act on, as opposed to having to dress up, take a ride and get to the destination.

I am just thinking out loud, not saying this will happen.

Klass99:


Hmm, you make a valid point I can't argue with about the artisans, robbers and stress of being a mother and handling manly chores too.

frozen70:



Your wife is the issue here not your cousin

If your wife is decent and you trust her with your last breath, you don't need to panic

If she wants to sleep with another man, she will do so even while you are leaving in Nigeria

So even if you get a room self contain for your cousin to pack out, they will meet when they want to meet

So, just talk to your wife by advising her and that's all

Who go cheat go cheat

cj1900:


Thabks for your advise buddy. We are working towards that. I dint really want to raise my kids abroad, so I will be relocating finally within the next 3 years.

In between, we get ro spen 8 months together every year.

limcar:
you too slept with her

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Onyeziokwu:



Hello mate,

Tbh, is something to do with your wife's lifestyle and likewise your cousin too! And then again, you've got free your mind on women cheating to avoid dying before your time bud.

However concerning your post above prior to my own experience, two things are bound to happen: either they turn best friends for life , genuinely or worse enemies for life.

I lived with my uncle's wife in Lagos for about a year plus under same roof whilst my uncle lives in Canada and a similar case like your cousin because I was actually looking forward to my visa then, too!

As a fresh graduate then without a job after my NYSC whilst she's with one of the banks there in Lagos. Omo you need to see hatred, started treating me like a poo as if I won't amount to anything in life, always complaining unnecessarily to my uncle just to build up hatred from him towards me too because I was looking forward to him in sorting my travel expenses. She completely changed as if I was dragging her husband's wealth with her but I am glad my uncle having spent 30yrs+ abroad, didn't give in. But I'm glad today, the abroad waka worked out and favoured me too! We're worse enemies for life. I don't give a Bleep about her and she knows that. I earn her monthly salary just on a 12hrs shift down here.

Moral lesson:

Naija women/ladies including my sisters, are terrible when it comes to their husbands immediate or distant families.

For peace and probably, averting a lifetime enmity between both parties, get your cousin a single room as suggested, if you can afford one please.

Cheers bud!

Richy4:


You are correct.... OP did not say that his wife was promiscuous nor his cousin a skirt chaser ...He was just tightening all loosed end which every man in his shoes will do

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Georgekyrian:
Everyone said my mind, rent him a house and replace him with any of your wife siblings...

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

farem:


Leaving rape out of the equation, the rest is entirely depends on your wife!

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

akinsmyk:
This actually happened to me. In this case, I was the cousin. We’re family members. My brothers mum is the elder sis to my own mum so I was living with them right from secondary school days while we were both teenagers. He’s 3years older than I am.

So when my cousin elder bro graduated from uni and get a good job, he moved out from the family house to get an accommodation on the Island coz that’s where he works. When I finished school, I joined him too coz we have been living in the same room as the only males as a teenager.

Before my bro got married, his fiancé used to come to the house and we gist like friends, we all do hang out together to catch fun and go places together. At times I drive our wife to be to the market or shopping malls in my bro’s car if he doesn’t feel like going.

When they were going to be married, I made move to leave but they said that I can stay. It was a 2bedroom apartment tho and we later moved to 3bed.

2years later, my cousin was transferred to Europe to work living behind the wife and me while working her visa too.

I and the wife stayed 6months together in the apartment before her visa was ready without anyone giving thoughts about rubbish or whatever. My own gf do comes to the house too which they know.

So it’s all about knowing who you married and the kind of brother/cousin you have. If you can vouch for them, so why not. Not everyone is immoral and useless. Some things are just so wrong without being told.

Favfables1:


OP....
Take this advice...
Rather than send your cousin away, bring in *her* relative or a domestic staff...

We4all:
Na wao! This means you don’t trust your wife at all. In other words, since you harbor such thoughts, you can’t be trusted with your wife’s female cousins.

Mooh247:





Tell him to look for a room selfcontain apartment around the neighbourhood and pay for it to have rest of mind... That way he can constantly check on your wife and assist her if need be

I don't think a room self con should be more than 250k depending on your neighbourhood ,£300 charity for your brother isn't too much especially considering his usefulness staying near by and to secure your home


Infidelity with a stranger or an ex is quite forgivable, but with your own blood and family , that would ruin your entire family and make your innocent children suffer from broken marriage and it's vices

According to Marslows hierarchy of needs regardless of who you think you are or your discipline level and self control... Your urge and needs sometimes are involuntary

Your wife needs Food, Sleep, Sex, Intimacy, Companion , security and no matter how disciplined she is she would seek it with someone close to her especially when they are cohabitating



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