fascia:
Unpopular opinion ,you shouldn't give a Bleep if your wife is cheating or not ,the thought shouldn't even come to your mind ,what anybody is doing with their body should be inconsequential to you,even if they are your wife .it shouldn't bother you.

Human emotions will.make one crazy ,one has to deal with insecurity,fear,jealousy ,hurt ,uncertainty ,all the likes .The best way to live is to be logical through out .

We should understand we are humans and we are flawed and if someone hasn't given you any reason not to trust them ,the best thing to to is to trust them and not conjure up any negative scenario as you are doing .

You think your wife do not have fears too about you cheating abroad ,you think she doesn't not have her own insecurity and jealousy too ..

You both know you both are trying and are committed to each other ,that should be enough.

I fell the bone of contention is you , not your wive or your cousin .it is you .
Never allow anything or anyone to Rob you of your peace ,stay logical .

A VERY UNPOPULAR OPINION . VERY UNWORKABLE !

DoctorOlasDesk:




Your wife is the best person to ask, there are pros and cons to the situation. He may be providing security. He should also have his place, help him get one than ask him to leave. 120-300k can get an apartment. Is it what you can afford?

NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO LEAVE THEM ALONE UNDER THE SAME HOUSE TOGETHER EVEN FOR A WEEK. NO PROS, ONLY CONS. IT IS VERY DANGEROUS

goody2019:


NO REASON WHATSOEVER TO LEAVE THEM ALONE UNDER THE SAME HOUSE TOGETHER EVEN FOR A WEEK. NO PROS, ONLY CONS. IT IS VERY DANGEROUS

I agree

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Just saw this on a Facebook private group. I hope it helps you be resolute on your decision

IT IS NEVER ADVISABLE. DO NOT TRY IT! You will put both of them in trouble, and yourself too.

Well for me..
Leaving him in the same house isn't a big deal..
U trust ur wife and believe in her..
Remember that every house needs a man
Sending him off and bring someone else is never a good solution..
At that age, trust me.. no man will be happy staying on his cousin roff..
Inside him self ,, he might be thinking of finding his way as u are thinking of solution

thisnaijaguy:
Bros, you can’t eat your cake and have it ooh. Your cousin is at a matured age with similar hormones. Same as with your wife.

Women will likely have a feeling with someone who “has always been there for them”. Cousin could be helping with a few things around the house and what stops him from helping in za oza areaz ?

To avoid stories that touch the heart, you and your wife should reach a middle ground and come up with a permanent solution. One person has to relocate and join the other ooh.

The wife can still get the help from external sources if she wishes. But the presence of the cousin may be a check at least.

To me what matters most is if the lady is discipline and trustworthy.

The world's bad now it was not like this 90s,80s,70s, why can't sister inlaw and brother inlaw stay in the house as a family!? � But I know if she's God fearing she won't cheat.. Things have changed well get him a place before you leave for your peace.

frozen70:



Your wife is the issue here not your cousin

If your wife is decent and you trust her with your last breath, you don't need to panic

If she wants to sleep with another man, she will do so even while you are leaving in Nigeria

So even if you get a room self contain for your cousin to pack out, they will meet when they want to meet

So, just talk to your wife by advising her and that's all

Who go cheat go cheat

When I read the posts of some people suggesting that you get your brother another accommodation, I just laughed.

See, if your wife and your brother are attracted to each other, separate accommodations will not stop the affairs. Infact, it may even make it sweeter because neighbors will not easily suspect anything when your brother comes visiting.

But if your wife is disciplined and has respect for you, she will not encourage that sort of affair!

Op if your wife has a grown up brother and not really occupied with things, you can bring him in. Even if your brother get another apartment what makes you think he will not still be visiting time to time. & Is not really cool for ur wife to stay alone with ur little baby.
Alternatively, your wife can go stay with her mum or Aunty that stays within the city.

Well done. You want to leave your wife with a man and go to obodo oyinbo
Hmm, just know he will use her as "snacks".
Better make other arrangements for your cousin. This one is not quarell matter, you cannot leave your wife with him, simple!

murmee:
When I read the posts of some people suggesting that you get your brother another accommodation, I just laughed.

See, if your wife and your brother are attracted to each other, separate accommodations will not stop the affairs. Infact, it may even make it sweeter because neighbors will not easily suspect anything when your brother comes visiting.

But if your wife is disciplined and has respect for you, she will not encourage that sort of affair!

Bros, what will bring the familiarity and closeness is when both are left together under thesame roof.
For now it has not reached that stage. To avoid such, let him move his cousin out of the house before travelling.
Who does that even? Leave a man, with woman and travels? It's like giving chicken to cat for safe keeping.

"But if your wife is disciplined and has respect for you, she will not encourage that sort of affair!"

Blokos and kpekus matter does not have respect or discipline in close proximity.

With what we see and read, I think it's not cool to leave your wife with another man.

What has your cousin done for you since he has been with you?
What is your wife's opinion?
Personally tell him he needs to vacate, how is a man in his mid thirties unable to find his own feet? Housing him is doing him no favours , I sense he is just leeching off you.
This type of entitlement just gets worst and worst so you need to tell him to find himself a room to rent by himself and tell him he needs to be out by 2 weeks before you depart. Does your wife not have any brothers she can trust? May be hire a maid and an experienced security who doesn't even need to be live in, but guards home when needed.

You have done enough for your cousin that when you ask him to leave he shouldn't even have mind to ask for any assistance. If he does then he has that bad entitlement trait and you should consider good riddance. You cousin could be called upon if he is trustworthy to assist with security if needed.

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Mooh247:





Tell him to look for a room selfcontain apartment around the neighbourhood and pay for it to have rest of mind... That way he can constantly check on your wife and assist her if need be

I don't think a room self con should be more than 250k depending on your neighbourhood ,£300 charity for your brother isn't too much especially considering his usefulness staying near by and to secure your home


Infidelity with a stranger or an ex is quite forgivable, but with your own blood and family , that would ruin your entire family and make your innocent children suffer from broken marriage and it's vices

According to Marslows hierarchy of needs regardless of who you think you are or your discipline level and self control... Your urge and needs sometimes are involuntary

Your wife needs Food, Sleep, Sex, Intimacy, Companion , security and no matter how disciplined she is she would seek it with someone close to her especially when they are cohabitating



.

the way una go dey talk this “pay rent for him” like 300 pounds is a walk in the park

cj1900:
Thanks guys for all your advices.. It is really worrying because I am trying not to sound insensitive to my brother but at thesame time, it is common sense that someone's wife should not be living under thesame roof alone with a full grown man.

Bro, your instincts are right

shege45:
the way una go dey talk this “pay rent for him” like 300 pounds is a walk in the park

For someone who owns his 4 bedroom house, who could buy a British airways ticket economy, and who plans to fly in every 6 months... The. 200k isn't much to spend on his brother

Let your wife make the decision not you.
If she says she can, then trust her to.
If she says she can't, by all means get the cousin out of your house.

Make sure you constantly communicate with your wife . Once you are there to speak to her often, she won't have the space to nuture feelings for another human. But if you leave a gap, and your nephew or anybody at all becomes her go to person, then feeling will begin to crowd her judgement. But again whether she will act on those feelings or not depends on her belief system

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

Person wey go cheat go cheat , discuss with your wife to see how things will work out.

murmee:
When I read the posts of some people suggesting that you get your brother another accommodation, I just laughed.

See, if your wife and your brother are attracted to each other, separate accommodations will not stop the affairs. Infact, it may even make it sweeter because neighbors will not easily suspect anything when your brother comes visiting.

But if your wife is disciplined and has respect for you, she will not encourage that sort of affair!

This was what I had in mind when I posted my advice on the issue

koning:





You are unbeliveably naive. For most women cheating is a question of opportunity and strong temptation. If you leave a catholic nun alone in a house with a man for 1 year, something might and would happen. You will be shocked to know what goes on behind people's closed doors.

For the Op, no matter how decent you think your wife is, DO NOT LEAVE HIM ALONE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH YOUR COUSIN FOR A LONG TIME. Like most Nigerians claim, the "Devil" will work on them.
Either you get him another accommodation or you bring in another man or woman into the house.

Once you remove a cat and bring a dog into the house
You are still having a domestic animal at home

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

and you shouldn't!

My brother, your fears are very valid, but like most people here already pointed out, if your wife is going to cheat, she will, cousin or no cousin, now these are some things i would consider

1 what if wifey isn't really into your cousin under any circumstance, and having him around will prevent her from seeing other people, like an ex for instance or some new guy checking out a lonely married woman.

2 having your cousin around might also be beneficial like others have pointed out earlier, he could help your wife around the house, a four bedroom duplex is a lot of space to leave a young woman alone in, she'll eventually seek out company, good or bad, so unless you are also thinking of a way to fix that, leaving her alone is not advicable.

now what i would advise get a third party, someone who can check the relationship between them and also be honest with you if there is any issue at home that your wife or cousin might not open up to you about.

I would also strongly advise discussing the matter with your wife, you dont want her feeling like you only want to keep her in check while you go and do whatever, also assure her that you'll be faithful too and make plans on how to keep in touch constantly cuz i think thats the only way maintain a long distance relationship.

Lastly, and i dare say most importantly, try and understand that mistakes can happen, no body is perfect so just encourage each other and make room in your heart to forgive if an honest mistake occurs as am sure you would expect her to do so if the mistake is from your end. I wish you the best, and hopefully everything works out for both of you in the end

Your cousin na agbaya. Shameless 40yrs old

Ur wife go collect woto woto

Katcall:
liar. we know you fúcked her

Every man isn't as loosed as you. For the fact that you had no control over your third leg doesn't mean every other men will do the same.

Your type is really why I'm starting to think some cousins can be unpredictable and untrustworthy coz I was initially feeling OP is just being unsecured.

If you think you would fail and disappoint yourself and cousin, if you were in that shoe, then you're not fit to be called a responsible man

People should keep an eye on you and never leave a woman or girl of any age lonely with you. You're a potential rapist.

Whether you leave him in the property or not, anything that wants to happen can still happen. As long as you are not around.

In other news, no let all these telecom 3rd parties registering sim cards scam you oo...

Here is how to check phone numbers linked to your NIN that are not yours.

https://billzonthestreets.com/check-numbers-linked-to-nin/

Thank me later.

We4all:


Agbaya, marriage isn’t for kids. If you can’t trust your wife with a relative, then use your fish brain and don’t get married.

Small boy like u
On a faceless forum
Sorry for u

.

I think the problem here is that you don't trust your wife will be strong enough to be faithful. If you like go and rent a duplex for your cousin in another state as some suggested. An unfaithful woman will still carry the thing go visit him. My brother, who tells you they are not even doing it as you're around now

cj1900:
Hi guys,
I won't take much of your time. I have a very delicate matter in my hands and I need diverse opinions please.

Background
I don't live in Nigeria but me and my wife both have a very comfortable 4 bedroom duplex in Nigeria. We have a one year old baby. I have been in Nigeria for 5 months now and I will be returning to UK in a few weeks.

Ever since I've been in Nigeria, my cousin (mid 30s) has been with us. Quite frankly, it is not very easy for him at the moment and i do care about him as a brother. He is in the process of processing his visa, so its not as if he is loafing about.

The plan is that both me and my wife will be taking turns in visiting each other for the next 2 or so years until I return fully to Nigeria.

The problem
The problem is that I do not feel comfortable leaving just him and my wife under thesame roof whilst I return and he is not showing any signs of leaving when I return to my base.

So, this is my situation and I don't know if I am being insensitive.

I married a very good wife and under most circumstances, I trust her. I am just not comfortable leaving my wife with any man atall under thesame roof.

I need your opinions pls.

your cousin is also your family infact brother, why did u want to send him out because of that haba baba,,,,look the issue is your wife not your cousin, your wife can still Bleep outside if she wants to, or even still meet up with your cousin if they want to, if u can't trust your wife with your cousin brother, then what about outsider,,,

if I be your cousin and I found out that you are renting me another apartment or sending me out because you don't trust me with your wife, aswear I will discoursing u, thus u don't have to trust anyone Sha, but for my traditions is a big taboo to sleep with your brother or any of your relatives wife