I've never visited the even when I'm a big fan of Nat Geo wild, so my girlfriend proposed we go to the zoo so that I can see the real thing. So we agreed on a day to visit the zoo and in the morning of that day we left for the zoo.

We arrived the zoo around 9:00 am and we were asked to buy a ticket which cost #7500 each, quite expensive for a places that is not even well kept. My girlfriend was the one that paid because she was the one taking me.

We were told to wait a while, while they gather more people because only one zookeeper was yet at work. We both waited and while waiting I bought a bottle of coke and puff puff that was tasting like fried beans, a very horrible taste, my girlfriend as an ajebo didn't even take a bite from her's and as a hard guy rugged guy, I wasn't ready to let my money go like that, so I forced my self to eat it, for my mind I was saying "we die here".

Around 10 o'clock an old skinny looking woman wearing a blue uniform that's twice her size, came towards us, at the time we were a total of five people including me and my girlfriend.

We then walked into the zoo after some briefing. The first animal we saw was a chimpanzees, followed by monkeys. The third animal we saw was a camel and since it's less harmful than a dog we asked the zookeeper for a closer look because we haven't seen it up close.

We all went in and immediately I touched the camel, it was like a spirit entered and possessed me, I started talking and teaching people all I've been learning from my favorites channel, Nat Geo wild. I was even teaching more than the zookeeper self, up to the extent of her leaving the explanation to me. My head started swelling with pride, I was even left to lead the way.

We saw porcupines next and the woman took us straight to a big cage, bigger than any other cage we've seen or entered. She said that the cage contain a baby elephant. Immediately I heard the word elephant everything I know about elephants started resurfacing. I was the first to go inside the cage, but what happened the next second shocked me. The woman jammed the gate gbooom.

I was like, "madam why are you closing the gate" she didn't say anything, she just say "shhhhhh". I was like in my mind, why is she shewing me, and the fact that everyone was shaking and looking at my back and moving away from the cage became more strange. I just turn with force expecting to see a baby elephant and lo and behold with was a lion, a hungry one.

There are difference between the lions you see on TV and the ones in Nigeria zoos. This one looked so hungry that you can successfully count the ribs with one eye closed.

I started feeling wet down my trouser, I don't know if it's the heavy sweat or piss, but all I know is that my trouser felt wet. I started shaking "jigijigi" and there was this kind of embarrassing odorless mess that left my yansh that moment.

The next thing I heard was from the woman was "don't move an inch or you're dead" I was now resting my back on the jammed door and still my legs couldn't carry me, they were shaking and vibrating like an old tiger generator. " I thought you said it's baby elephant" I asked without even realizing if that was my voice, they sounded like alien language.

I looked at the lion and the lion itself was looking straight into my eyes, I'm not in the lion's mind but I can sense he's still wandering if I'm real. There's a kind of food that'll you'll give someone and the person will enter into deep thoughts, that's how I am to him.

I started crying in a low tone like a baby told not to cry because I didn't want to make a single noise.

"Oh did I say elephant, it's a lion dear. Don't mind me I have dementia" I was like is this woman crazy, I'm about to get eaten alive and she's using the word dear and what does she mean by dementia.

"Please ma open the door I beg" I managed to say in mist of tears. But she slightly tried to open the door but nothing happened, she then used force and nothing happened. That was when she said what made me loss hope "don't worry dear, this is not the first time, just don't move or you're dead"

Diarrhea started building up the moment I heard that word. I started remembering all the bad things that I've done, all the exam malpractices, all the meat that I've stolen from my mom's pot and the one I stole yesterday from my girlfriend's pot of soup, all the lies and cheats.

I never expected that I'll die like this, I always prayed to God to make me famous but not this, not in the stomach of a lion. Imagine a headline "A handsome young Nigerian ends up in a lion's belly"
Some people's will go ahead and say "A frustrated guy feed himself to a hungry lion"

I started asking for forgiveness, all the time that I didn't go to church, lord please forgive me, forgive me for eating my offering money while I was small, forgive me I don't want to die. I couldn't even turn to look at my girlfriend who I didn't hear panick. Instead what I was hearing all the while was a camera sound "craker, craker", God I will not date again if you save me, I'll repent lord, I'll wait till I get married no more sex for me.

For the first time the lion started coming closer and gradually closer, the diarrhea that has been forming since had it's way without my consent, I felt my own shit flow freely. The fact that I shit myself in public wasn't my problem, but how to escape this coming death was the only thing on my mind.

The lion started gaining momentum and in few seconds it dived on me and that was the last thing I could remember that day. All I'm seeing in the room that I was is white and blue which my brain translated to a hospital. I opened my eyes well and saw my girlfriend grinning. And that was when I started crying again.

Actually, I had fainted because of fear. The lion had no teeth and claws, so all this prank was actually set up by my weaked girlfriend. Thank God she's now my ex.

I'm still suffering from heart attack till today. The lesson I learnt was never to prank girls, because they might be cooking what you can never finish in your whole live.

(Good morning everyone...how was your night. I'm new to nairaland�)

Nice one

This your fiction dey funny
But anyways, nice story from you OP. Hope say you carry tissue paper wey you take wipe your poo?

NEW MEMBER WON KILL PERSON PICKIN WIT LAUGH DIS MORNIN WEY I NEVA BRUSH,ALL D ENZYMES WEY SLEEP WAKEUP FOR MY MOUTH WON FOLLOW LAUGH.. if u know u know

This had better be just a write up.

"Oh did I say elephant, it's a lion dear. Don't mind me I have dementia" I was like is this woman crazy, I'm about to get eaten alive and she's using the word dear and what does she mean by dementia."

Cheq40:
NEW MEMBER WON KILL PERSON PICKIN WIT LAUGH DIS MORNIN WEY I NEVA BRUSH,ALL D ENZYMES WEY SLEEP WAKEUP FOR MY MOUTH WON FOLLOW LAUGH.. if u know u know

He wants to start 'Iflaring' people's ribs this early morning…

Nice piece.

. Thank God she's now my ex.

Good to read this. That's the most interesting part of the story.

I hereby induct you into Nairaland OG Hall of Fame.

.

Very funny but still wondering if the story is real

See where oversabi don land u.. Too much of natgeowild don make u an expert abi.

Kriss216:
Nice piece.

[b][/b]
Good to read this. That's the most interesting part of the story.
I hereby induct you into Nairaland OG Hall of Fame.

iFlare:
I've never visited the even when I'm a big fan of Nat Geo wild, so my girlfriend proposed we go to the zoo so that I can see the real thing. So we agreed on a day to visit the zoo and in the morning of that day we left for the zoo.

We arrived the zoo around 9:00 am and we were asked to buy a ticket which cost #7500 each, quite expensive for a places that is not even well kept. My girlfriend was the one that paid because she was the one taking me.

We were told to wait a while, while they gather more people because only one zookeeper was yet at work. We both waited and while waiting I bought a bottle of coke and puff puff that was tasting like fried beans, a very horrible taste, my girlfriend as an ajebo didn't even take a bite from her's and as a hard guy rugged guy, I wasn't ready to let my money go like that, so I forced my self to eat it, for my mind I was saying "we die here".

Around 10 o'clock an old skinny looking woman wearing a blue uniform that's twice her size, came towards us, at the time we were a total of five people including me and my girlfriend.

We then walked into the zoo after some briefing. The first animal we saw was a chimpanzees, followed by monkeys. The third animal we saw was a camel and since it's less harmful than a dog we asked the zookeeper for a closer look because we haven't seen it up close.

We all went in and immediately I touched the camel, it was like a spirit entered and possessed me, I started talking and teaching people all I've been learning from my favorites channel, Nat Geo wild. I was even teaching more than the zookeeper self, up to the extent of her leaving the explanation to me. My head started swelling with pride, I was even left to lead the way.

We saw porcupines next and the woman took us straight to a big cage, bigger than any other cage we've seen or entered. She said that the cage contain a baby elephant. Immediately I heard the word elephant everything I know about elephants started resurfacing. I was the first to go inside the cage, but what happened the next second shocked me. The woman jammed the gate gbooom.

I was like, "madam why are you closing the gate" she didn't say anything, she just say "shhhhhh". I was like in my mind, why is she shewing me, and the fact that everyone was shaking and looking at my back and moving away from the cage became more strange. I just turn with force expecting to see a baby elephant and lo and behold with was a lion, a hungry one.

There are difference between the lions you see on TV and the ones in Nigeria zoos. This one looked so hungry that you can successfully count the ribs with one eye closed.

I started feeling wet down my trouser, I don't know if it's the heavy sweat or piss, but all I know is that my trouser felt wet. I started shaking "jigijigi" and there was this kind of embarrassing odorless mess that left my yansh that moment.

The next thing I heard was from the woman was "don't move an inch or you're dead" I was now resting my back on the jammed door and still my legs couldn't carry me, they were shaking and vibrating like an old tiger generator. " I thought you said it's baby elephant" I asked without even realizing if that was my voice, they sounded like alien language.

I looked at the lion and the lion itself was looking straight into my eyes, I'm not in the lion's mind but I can sense he's still wandering if I'm real. There's a kind of food that'll you'll give someone and the person will enter into deep thoughts, that's how I am to him.

I started crying in a low tone like a baby told not to cry because I didn't want to make a single noise.

"Oh did I say elephant, it's a lion dear. Don't mind me I have dementia" I was like is this woman crazy, I'm about to get eaten alive and she's using the word dear and what does she mean by dementia.

"Please ma open the door I beg" I managed to say in mist of tears. But she slightly tried to open the door but nothing happened, she then used force and nothing happened. That was when she said what made me loss hope "don't worry dear, this is not the first time, just don't move or you're dead"

Diarrhea started building up the moment I heard that word. I started remembering all the bad things that I've done, all the exam malpractices, all the meat that I've stolen from my mom's pot and the one I stole yesterday from my girlfriend's pot of soup, all the lies and cheats.

I never expected that I'll die like this, I always prayed to God to make me famous but not this, not in the stomach of a lion. Imagine a headline "A handsome young Nigerian ends up in a lion's belly"
Some people's will go ahead and say "A frustrated guy feed himself to a hungry lion"

I started asking for forgiveness, all the time that I didn't go to church, lord please forgive me, forgive me for eating my offering money while I was small, forgive me I don't want to die. I couldn't even turn to look at my girlfriend who I didn't hear panick. Instead what I was hearing all the while was a camera sound "craker, craker", God I will not date again if you save me, I'll repent lord, I'll wait till I get married no more sex for me.

For the first time the lion started coming closer and gradually closer, the diarrhea that has been forming since had it's way without my consent, I felt my own shit flow freely. The fact that I shit myself in public wasn't my problem, but how to escape this coming death was the only thing on my mind.

The lion started gaining momentum and in few seconds it dived on me and that was the last thing I could remember that day. All I'm seeing in the room that I was is white and blue which my brain translated to a hospital. I opened my eyes well and saw my girlfriend grinning. And that was when I started crying again.

Actually, I had fainted because of fear. The lion had no teeth and claws, so all this prank was actually set up by my weaked girlfriend. Thank God she's now my ex.

I'm still suffering from heart attack till today. The lesson I learnt was never to prank girls, because they might be cooking what you can never finish in your whole live.

(Good morning everyone...how was your night. I'm new to nairaland�)

lol, serious issue, thank God say ur village people day asleep when u day inside the cage.

Can`t stop laughing, i completely agree with the nairalander above me.

Lol
Your confessions was so funny

Very expensive prank

Lol

Wotoporiously speaking

Lol