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8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker - Career - Nairaland

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8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Mystery2020: 1:52pm On May 09
1. Extraversion
You must be an extrovert, period. The Nigerian banking industry has zero tolerance for non-outgoing personality types. If you are not, make sure you are well connected both within and without.

2. Small talk
You must like small talks and gossips, and actively engage in them. Otherwise you yourself will become the subject of gossips by your colleagues and it will be difficult for you to change the narrative.

3. Flirty
This is very important especially if you are male. The women in this industry, both married and single are sex-starved and they always appreciate men that have regular erections. The last thing you want is for all the ladies in your office to gang up against you.
As a lady, you must be ready to receive anything from a hug, hands on your waist, neck or shoulder, to a kiss, even dick.

1, 2 & 3 are very important to avoid being tagged "lifeless". Once you have this tag, everything you do will be irritating to your boss and coworkers.

4. A$$ Licking
The industry is like a mafia. You must constantly show your loyalty and assure your colleagues and superiors of your loyalty, otherwise they will see you as arrogant and will begin to plot your dismissal.

5. Toxicity
Banking has one of the highest toxicity scores according to the Nairaland Toxicity Index: https://www.nairaland.com/7103678/toxicity-score-various-occupations-sectors
You must be a toxic person, and must regularly dish out you venom to both colleagues and subordinates. Else, you will not survive.
Bankers are like sharks who can smell blood hundreds of miles away. Your inability to dish out your toxins will give the rest of your coworkers a signal that you can be preyed upon, which they shall surely do.

6. Political Correctness
Your opinions have to be in sync with those of your colleagues. You must always agree with the majority publicly, but you can express your disagreement in private with 1 or 2 colleagues.

7. Team Work
Team work is useful only for those in operations (branch or elsewhere). Forget it if you are in sales (marketing). Here, everyone is on their own, it is dog eat dog!

8. Relationship with surbodinates
The banking industry is a frat house. Avoid relating with security men and cleaners if you want to climb the corporate ladder fast. The exception here are female cleaners; you may service them occasionally.

46 Likes 5 Shares

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Mystery2020: 10:21pm On May 20
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Nobody: 12:31pm On May 23
Okay

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Skillsnigeria: 12:32pm On May 23
Noted
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by pocohantas(f): 12:32pm On May 23
Which bank did/do you work? And what unit? It should be shut down for starters @ flirty and toxicity.

54 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by iCauseTrouble: 12:33pm On May 23
angry
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by gerrardomendes(m): 12:33pm On May 23
Really?
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by kesonas(m): 12:33pm On May 23
Hmmmmm wisdom

1 Like

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Raregem9000: 12:33pm On May 23

1 Like

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by teekay213(m): 12:33pm On May 23
cheesy
And this enter fp

Smh for the mod

3 Likes

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Enny2013(f): 12:33pm On May 23
Hmmm... unbelievable

1 Like 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Bobloco: 12:33pm On May 23
Noted
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by dopedan(m): 12:33pm On May 23
Save and get out
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Rapture4real(m): 12:34pm On May 23
No 3 is abnormal.
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by nosagold(m): 12:34pm On May 23
Jesus is ALL we need

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by aircom(m): 12:34pm On May 23
Good thing opinions aint facts undecided

2 Likes

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by larryeffizy1(m): 12:35pm On May 23
Omo this analysis naa sth oo....

What if your fiance is a banker... Gbegenn!!
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Frank25(m): 12:35pm On May 23
op i hail o
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Benprass(m): 12:36pm On May 23
Men that ass licking, fucking, and dicking are something else.

They want turn almost all the girls in this country to sex objects I always think if its applicable to develop country.

I hate toxic people! Any job that will lead one to toxicity one might need to check out!!

Anyway one man meals is another man poison.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by affable4(m): 12:36pm On May 23
Seem this was compiled by a sex starved busybody pervert.

Modified

Instead of you to just tell them to know their job and be very very social, you are telling us to flirt with someone's wife just because you think they are sex starved.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by bigdammyj: 12:36pm On May 23
Reading...
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Randal: 12:37pm On May 23
Ok
Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Anonnymoously: 12:39pm On May 23
Which kind myopic narrative be this

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by pacespot(m): 12:39pm On May 23
Lol, i always know that bankers are toxic with the way they address their customers

4 Likes

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by affable4(m): 12:40pm On May 23
pocohantas:
Which bank did you work? And what unit? It should be shut down for starters @ flirty and toxicity.

Don't mind the self-servicer

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by Maverick777(m): 12:41pm On May 23
With exception of 1,4 and 7, all other items you stated here are total gibberish.
You and your likes should desist from misleading the public by spreading false information, especially on issues you know next to nothing about, please be guided!
it's not a must to create a thread!

15 Likes 3 Shares

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by nkemoma(m): 12:42pm On May 23
The earlier you get out of any system that places your line managers as a demigod in your career and life, the better for you!!!

Na only Afonjas sabi play the game of ass kissing and balls licking

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: 8 Things You Need To Survive As A Banker by BrianFOXX: 12:42pm On May 23
Clearly, a shallow-minded person wrote this article.

9 Likes

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