Khoielvis:



I have been involved with a lady, she saw all the qualities and all, the intellect, prospect, hustle and all, she yet went to sleep with someone who had pretentious outside. Our chemistry and attraction was of the charts. At least I've seen multiple funny things with women to not take them seriously easily

Omo! I don't even know what to say again. That's why it's best not to blame people till you walk in their shoes. So sorry for all that happened.

Most men won't tell you this in public but the higher a woman earns, the lesser her attraction to men.

pocohantas:


So you are saying that the mind of most NIGERIAN men is to ensure their wives never succeed. Nice to hear/read this from a man.

DMerciful:
Most men won't tell you this in public but the higher a woman earns, the lesser her attraction to men.

May I never be attractive to a man for my brokeness.

DaveDGreat:




Omo! I don't even know what to say again. That's why it's best not to blame people till you walk in their shoes. So sorry for all that happened.

She saw my determination and zeal to marry her. Knew my family from first to last and saw us in church and knows our committment level to sound morals and ethics. Knew without a doubt I could take care of her. But she went to bed someone during the period. Now, does this sound rational?


It's why the man in this story too is also careful. There is the belief that if a woman gives up her work, then it shows higher loyalty and true loyalty to the relationship. The man too has his own point

Khoielvis:




Na. I don't do anything with that dude. What I'll say is the only way to date inexclusively for me is of these discussions take place from the start. I make sure I have these discussions within days of asking any lady out by the way. So, I don't stay long in unhealthy relationship no matter the qualities the other party may have. Some issues are unrepairable and we must not assume ourselves responsible for them

You mean with all these your Great Strategies that You are Dishing out Confidently and Practicing , You have Not Settled down(married) anyone of your catch....and you are still changing them?

That means your strategy is Not functional in getting the best to settle down with.

Do not compromise what will give you fulfillment just to please a person. If he can't deal, walk n know you did right by him but his insecurities made him lose a good woman. Over time he will realise same n I hope you still feel same way for him then, if not my dear, be contented with your life then n still know good n better things will still happen to you

The challenge with many women is that they never try to understand men. They can take the few exceptions as the normal male behavior and even when you try to explain to them, they'd think you're against women.

Anyways, her guy did not fight her...he politely said he is no longer interested. Abi na by force?

pocohantas:


May I never be attractive to a man for my brokeness.

OvertheTop:



You mean with all these your Great Strategies that You are Dishing out Confidently and Practicing , You have Not Settled down(married) anyone of your catch....and you are still changing them?

That means your strategy is Not functional in getting the best to settle down with.

I agree. However, with the crop of ladies out there, dating and marriage isn't dependent of oneself alone. Strategies and all can reduce problems and issues, but when it comes to forming a tango, it takes two

This thread is an eyeopener sha.
Some people really have this shallow mentality about ambitious women.

As for me, I want to soar higher in my career oh biko. Make I use the money flex myself and family.
Make I dey fresh dey go more.

DMerciful:
The challenge with many women is that they never try to understand men. They can take the few exceptions as the normal male behavior and even when you try to explain to them, they'd think you're against women.

Anyways, her guy did not fight her...he politely said he is no longer interested. Abi na by force?

We understand actually. We understand that men love broke women. How else do we explain men marrying career women and cheating on her with a Chidinma Ojukwu in a shortlet apartment?

Trust me we understand.

Khoielvis:




She saw my determination and zeal to marry her. Knew my family from first to last and saw us in church and knows our committment level to sound morals and ethics. Knew without a doubt I could take care of her. But she went to bed someone during the period. Now, does this sound rational?


It's why the man in this story too is also careful. There is the belief that if a woman gives up her work, then it shows higher loyalty and true loyalty to the relationship. The man too has his own point.

I now see your point. Apparently his fingers has been burnt before and he doesn't want a repeat. Chai.

Yes because the career woman will be too busy to nurture both the children and the husband, too tired for great sex, too tired to take care of the kids or cook but delegate to house helps. And to make it worse, contribute disproportionately vs her income to running the home.

If a married can cannot get good sex, good food and still poor financial support...whats the point?

pocohantas:


We understand actually. We understand that men love broke women. How else do we explain men marrying career women and cheating on her with a Chidinma Ojukwu in a shortlet apartment?

Trust me we understand.

DaveDGreat:


I now see your point. Apparently his fingers has been burnt before and he doesn't want a repeat. Chai.

That's why we can't blame anyone too much. The dating pool is now a mess. A terrible one

I'm the opposite I hate broke ladies.

pocohantas:


May I never be attractive to a man for my brokeness.

Amen!
Amen!!
Amen!!!

Iseeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

DMerciful:
Yes because the career woman will be too busy to nurture both the children and the husband, too tired for great sex, too tired to take care of the kids or cook but delegate to house helps. And to make it worse, contribute disproportionately vs her income to running the home.

If a married can cannot get good sex, good food and still poor financial support...whats the point?

If your side-chicks had jobs or worked as hard as your wives to support your dreams, I doubt they would have the time and energy to fix eyelashes or do backflip on your prick.

If your wife dashes you to that side-chick for one week, I am sure she would run.

julie90:
I have been working for this company for two years. In December 2021, there was a change in management, a new manager was assigned to my Department. Before the change in management, I applied for some jobs in November 2021 but I didn't get any response.

Things between my new manager and I developed really quickly (he is not married and he is 10 years older than me). Although we have been working together, when he became the new manager we started dating. it was mutual, it wasn't like he forced me. We liked each other and we started dating in March 2022. We kept things professional in the office. Nobody in the office knows about this even till now.

Those companies I applied to in November 2021 reached out to me for an interview. I got two offers at the same time. Both offers come with great pay (similar to what my boyfriend currently earns) and a significant boost to my career. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and being my boss he told me to reject both offers, he told me he would be able to cater for my needs that the only commitment he has now is paying for his house and once he is done paying for it, he would have more money to take care of me and I didn't need a job where they would pay me what he's currently earning and be in a role similar to his.

I told him it's not the money but it would be about moving up the ladder in my career. These are offers people do not have, now I have two, he is asking me to reject them. He told me even if I have to move the only offer I should take is the one close to the company where we work which has a lower pay compared to the second offer. I told him I would go with the second offer which has more opportunities for me. Both offers are in the same state although my preferred offer is a bit far from where I live but it is still a reasonable location to commute everyday. At one point he told me, I was too ambitious and I took it as a compliment.

I noticed he changed since then, he informed the company management that I was leaving and we began the handover process, I noticed he changed after we had the discussion about me accepting the second offer but I thought it was about him missing me. May 31 was my last day and I noticed few days to my last day he was acting strange so I asked him what the matter was. He said he doesn't feel anything for me and we should stop seeing each other.

This is a man that was really excited when we were dating, all of a sudden doesn't feel anything for me because I got a high paying job? Is it wrong for a woman to be ambitious? When has it become a crime for a woman to aim high in her career? My role will still be to support him. I have never been rude to him and I am not going to be rude to him because we now earn the same salary. I really like him and I feel disappointed that he could act this way.

Is it now a crime for a woman to be ambitious?

You dodged a bullet.

We're saying the same thing Poco

That's the reason many men would want a job that gives a woman more time for what's important to the man and still make enough money for her expenses. The man would still support her financially ontop her income.

Before you say 'whats important to man' , yes the man marries the wiman and not the other way round. The human male is actually generous and benevolent. the human male is the weakest among the make species of most living things . Flow with nature, dont fight it...God made it so!

pocohantas:


If your side-chicks had jobs or worked as hard as your wives to support your dreams, I doubt they would have the time and energy to fix eyelashes or do backflip on your prick.

If your wife dashes you to that side-chick for one week, I am sure she would run.

DMerciful:
We're saying the same thing Poco

That's the reason many men would want a job that gives a woman more time for what's important to the man and still make enough money for her expenses. The man would still support her financially ontop her income.

Before you say 'whats important to man' , yes the man marries the wiman and not the other way round. The human male is actually generous and benevolent. the human male is the weakest among the make species of most living things . Flow with nature, dont fight it...God made it so!

You have to pick one. There are many jobless women in Nigeria. Date and marry them. When you do, sub for them every day without complaining or calling them liabilities. Admit they are helping something your very existence thrives on- YOUR EGO.

I am not fighting anything. I am actually looking for a man that would be giving me plenty money monthly without fight or plenty talk.

Why do we have to live life on the extreme? Highly career focused on one side and house wife on the other side. Can't we balance it so its a win-win for all parties?

How about a little career and a little house wife? We said we would take care of you, just be a submissive wife and we will love you to the moon. How's that not a win?

pocohantas:


You have to pick one. There are many jobless women in Nigeria. Date and marry them. When you do, sub for them every day without complaining or calling them liabilities. Admit they are helping something your very existence thrives on- YOUR EGO.

I am not fighting anything. I am actually looking for a man that would be giving me plenty money monthly without fight or plenty talk.

TruthHurts100:


Pẹ̀lẹ́ ooo, married woman in her late 20s. So you were given birth to in the 90's.

Relationship na relationship. Be it married or not. If you cannot make it work in dating relationship, marriage will never work. Flexibility in decision making is key in the success of any relationship.

So when you say he has no right making decisions for her because they aren't married.... It's totally unacceptable. She can make decisions for him too when situations call for it.

So you mean a boyfriend can ask his girlfriend or vice versa to open a joint account together with them so that they can be saving for their future?
You mean a girlfriend can move into her boyfriend's house and start doing wifely duties for him and begin to bear him children because relationship na relationship, married or not?
Lol

I think he was "scared" and you (probably) didn't do enough to convince him. There's a perception out there that the more a person earns, the more the tendency to feel "bigger" and "bossier". This is a general notion.

This is not an attempt to blame you but I feel that you didn't do enough to convince him, massage his ego, or whatever it was that made him feel that way (if he's worth it though).

The day your boss decides to increase your pay is not the right time to begin to recount the stress you go through when you cook noodles (just citing an example). Be calculative, smart, and study your man. I understand that some men are sadists but one thing you cannot take away from men is ego. We only deploy this ego differently. My suggestion is not too much to do for a 2 year relationship with a man who's been there and dutiful all along.

Of course, you're also going to meet men who wouldn't care or give you a negative attitude when you find yourself in a better position. However, your financial contribution to that relationship will play a significant role in sustaining a positive reaction from your partner. You should prepare your mind for this as you move on with your life.

All the best.

IamMobisola:


So you mean a boyfriend can ask his girlfriend or vice versa to open a joint account together with them so that they can be saving for their future?
You mean a girlfriend can move into her boyfriend's house and start doing wifely duties for him and begin to bear him children because relationship na relationship, married or not?
Lol

End of discussion. You have deviated. Even I'm marriage, I can never advice you to have a joint account with your husband. Living with a man you're not married with is dirty.

We were talking about making decisions for one another..... You left the discussion má.

OP no stress find another guy, not all guys have that mindset. Imagine you rejected the job, and he broke up with you, you would look stupid.

pocohantas:


So you are saying that the mind of most NIGERIAN men is to ensure their wives never succeed. Nice to hear/read this from a man.

Sadly a lot of men fall into that category( the person you quoted might be right by saying most) , many don't just want to admit.


Well at least na person marry Okonjo, alakija and Dora. If their husband's were like some of these people talking up and down would they have been as successful as they were/are?

May we not marry our enemy.

Marry jobless woman - Mba she must bring something to the table

Marry a high flyer- Rara oo, she shouldn't be over ambitious.

GloriousGbola:


The late unlamented Kevin Samuels told him so na.

I’m sure if you ask him what a high value man is, he will say it’s a man that makes good money. But let the girl say she wants a man with money, they’ll call her a gold digger. Now she’s making her own money, she’s not good enough.
Nothing make sense with these kind of folks. Like talking to a bunch of brick walls

Glozaglobal:


Dude is no ‘’narcissist’s’, dude is in love but knows what goes on in the corporate world in Nigeria!!! Corporate prostitution, as the MD’s or Chairmen of most companies in Nigeria are sleeping with both single and married women in their organizations. Poor corporate practise that goes unchecked. As they feed on the women's ambition (or what do you ladies like to call it), use what you have to get what you want. Women in Nigeria are shameless!!!!!! The truth here is no one knows what hanty has done to get the offer and what price Hanty will have to pay to keep the offer. But bros perhaps wants to start a family with Hanty, but has from his experience of being in a managerial position pictured speeding of legs on large office tables and many hotel beds in the city. Ambition, offer, pay increase , benefits, promotions all come these days with paying a price. It’s sad the narrative looks like the man does not want the woman to succeed or progress but it’s far from it. He just wants to continue to date a good girl or marry a woman that’s for him alone and not a boardroom pass around. Think!!!!!!

Wow..

I never really thought of it from this angle.
This is making sense on the dude's behalf for sure.

FERNANDEZISBACK:

Pls don't be like that little boy on here who generalise women..you are more than that aiit...
Thanks for understanding..

Thanks for this comment, I wanted to respond to her not to generalize before too but I had to stop because I don't have strength for online wahala....

The guy the Op talked about messed up no doubt and the Op should consider herself lucky not to be enslaved in that trap......in this day an age, some men still carry that old mentality that their wives can never earn than them....it's sickening I tell you!!

pocohantas:

The Nigerian man’s definition of submissive sure stems from a place of gross wickedness and anything evil you can think of.

a word

pocohantas:


We understand actually. We understand that men love broke women. How else do we explain men marrying career women and cheating on her with a Chidinma Ojukwu in a shortlet apartment?

Trust me we understand.

changing the narrative as always being your game point, unfortunately it is after marraige most men realize marriage is a scam, and as a matter of fact most married men are sex starved & deprived of attention, cos wives see sex as weapon and when women start having kids all there love & care shift to the kids ... the man feels neglected hence the need for side chicks. wives are boring while side chicks are everthing a man lacks in marriage.
Wives should be grateful to sidechicks/olosho of this world cos they are the ones keeping men sanity

Speak for the women in your circle only.

And while you’re at it, never again in your life call any woman a gold digger or mock her for being dependent. Because it seems wavering between different levels of illogic is now a pastime to you guys

DMerciful:
Women do not contribute much anyways towards the finance of the home irrespective of what they earn, so how can that be a priority to men?

This is not men vs women, una nor reach!

This is reality!

cococandy:
Speak for the women in your circle only.

And while you’re at it, never again in your life call any woman a gold digger or mock her for being dependent. Because it seems wavering between different levels of illogic is now a pastime to you guys