Ok there is that guy. And my reaction is strange really. We are friends ONLY. I feel however like I am in love with him. Just I don't understand how I could be in love with him because I feel completely platonic and neutral about him (non s** attraction). We are both married and he is not into me either! Just friends "for life". There is no s**ual attraction going on between us I am sure.

I however want his company often and feel desperate, when I can not find him at this place X where he usually is. I can only see him when I go there where he works. He chats with the customers (others and me) and he has some time for a chat for a few minutes (mostly) always. It is a long story and a weired one too. I can only say this much:
He is very kind and a christian too. The thing is, I know he is kind and pleasant and likes to talk and gives free hugs. So we became hug buddies. Which felt strange to me first because I had never ever had anyone hug me with love and neutral without wanting something in return in a s**ual way. I never had a safe hug in my whole life before he offered me a hug. (I had had a lousy day and he offered me a hug then and so we became friends.)

I feel towards him like he is my brother and I told him so. Only better. He is special. I know that. It does not conform to stupid (how one must behave) rules of society - and neither did I ever. He also sets me straight and wont allow the friendship to go beyond neutral! I feel safe with him as never before and would like this to have every day. Now I know it is not realistic (so much) but I still want it! And so I go to "meet him" every 7 days or so. And when he is not at his place X I freak out! I know he has to fix stuff at times somewhere. When this is I often don't see him for ages! This, that we are friends, only goes on this spring since April. We know each other however for 5 or so years. He was always nice to me and always brightens my day. He brightens MANY peoples day and he is great! But since this HUG we became friends and I can't wait to get hugged by him. He feels soft and he feels SAFE. If you don't know what "free hugs" is go and check YouTube under search Juan Mann free hug campaign.

I often ask me if I like him different - and end up with "no, I don't want to have an affair, I want him to be friends with me for sure". I feel really really confused. Because when I did not meet him, when he is not there where I know he usually is to find, when this time in between is so long, I freak out!

How can one feel about a friend (neutral and nothing going on otherwise) feel so strong? All I know is I love him, but in a very special way. Like some kid that wants love in a safe form.

Here is how he is: Kind and loving and takes people for their real person. He is sincere and honest! Does not make a difference between the genders and treats them all as normal beings. He takes me/people for full and gives love to everybody. Kinda a Saint or modern Jesus guy. I know he is no saint. But he is giving me so much what I want and this is - he reflects back to me - my real self. Not having this is hurtful so I seek his company.
I have trouble at home with my mate and trouble with the wild animals at our property. I enjoy talking to people much and going out. I just came from the place X where he may be today, but he seems to have off and not working today. So I did not have a change to see him. When this is I get grumpy and dunno even wanna see anybody of other people at the Mall or else.

Can someone please read and shorthen

"So I did not have a change to see him" I ment to say[b] Chance![/b]

. I stopped reading when u said "we are married and he is not into me either" that's the 3rd line. What is this?

I didnt go beyond the first line

i read only the 1st line and got fed-up, the story is not even interesting,

For those that couldn't read the whole story, here is a summary in two sentences:

The OP is married, and "in love" with a married man, because he's really nice and he gives her free hugs. What should she do?


You're welcome.

BABE!:

For those that couldn't read the whole story, here is a summary in two sentences:

The OP is married, and "in love" with a married man, because he's really nice and he gives her free hugs. What should she do?


You're welcome.

Tell her to kill him and herself.

Cuddlemii:

Tell her to kill him and herself.

BABE!:

LOL----cHEI! I no fit deliver that kin message. Tell her yourself.

Ok, I will send her a letter as ap. Meeen all these stories na wa.

BABE!:

For those that couldn't read the whole story, here is a summary in two sentences:

The OP is married, and "in love" with a married man, because he's really nice and he gives her free hugs. What should she do?


You're welcome.

OK NOW I UNDASTAND, LET DEM DO AN EXCHANGE NW, I MEAN LET HER HUSBAND GIVE D ODA GUY'S WIFE FREE HUGS AND IF SHE LUVS IT TOO LET DEM GET MARRIED, VEWI SIMPLE

@ Babe - YOU HIT IT ON THE HEAD - you are very accurate

@ Poster - you are the kind of woman that I would have to keep away from my mate. He is very, very similar as the man you long to hug in your post. You really need to go for marriage counseling. You also need to rediscover the love for your husband and your own life.

You are seconds away from cheating. You are entertaining the idea very strong on a mental level. Don't ruin another woman's home by making passes at her husband. Stop yourself now. You chose your current husband - now be a good wife and do everything in your power to improve your marriage. You are spending alot of mental, emotional and physical energy fantasizing about dyk that belongs to another.

Stop sniffing around another woman's husband.

Chai. . .mo taka oshi danu!

U dnt need advice ma'aam, u know the right thing, DO IT!

smh @ giving free hugs, married indeed.

**read the thread and shake his head**

lady, u are lost. u better find urself before ur cheating self finds you.

iice:

And your spouse? Where is he in all this? His spouse? Did you forget her?
Human Beings. . .you go fear ooo.
Anyway, you're emotionally attached. Getting to the point of parasitic.

YEP!!!

@Blessedyes
Your sub-conscious is urging you into a sexual liaison, you just don't know it yet.

Go and be hugging your husband and be safe with him instead of another woman's husband.

LEAVE HIM ALONE OOO!!!!

You are playing with fire and very soon it will burn bad.

op,i bet u've never attempted any summary question in your lyftym.go learn hw to summarize.
Btw, truth is you are having feeling for another woman's husband while you are still married yourself.find a means of reconnecting the dis-connected wires between you and your husband.the need for those out of marriage hugs would disappear sharply.

You are married,yet you feel safe with another man,not just another man but a married man?
Lady,I don't mean to be rude but you better get your shit together and work on your straying adultrous emotion and focus on making your own marriage work rather than unconsciously and unwillingly plotting another marriage breakdown.
Yea,one can have these strange emotions at some points in some1's marriage,I believe it's nt impossible bt mehn, such feelings spell DOOM in situations like this

@BABE- Please be careful with what you playfully advice. You know how it is with white people and suicide. And OP: You got me really confused with your 'world of feelings' for a married man too. What's with you? You never got enough hugs from your parents?

come love me no wahala, don't waste your time with that guy, he is too lazy.

First of all, woah, slow down, he is nice,gives free hugs bla bla, u are married remember, does dt tot eva creep into ur mind wen u dont find him in place x?, this isnt worth it my dear.go get hugs from ur husband.dts why he is there duh

@OP, go hug a life transformer. I heard they give free and electrifying hugs

Mynd_44:

@OP, go hug a life transformer. I heard they give free and electrifying hugs

lwkmd

It sounds like to me that you've developed this overly emotional co-dependency with this guy. What you are feeling is not natural feelings you should be feeling for this "friend".  You should NOT be feeling all these "emotions" you are feeling for a man that is NOT your husband.  I understand from what you said that he is a "good guy" an all.  But this "friendship" is taken way too far on YOUR part.  You truly need to slow your roll and back up for a second. 

Obviously, you are lacking a emotional and physical fulfillment in your marriage and this is why you are latching on to someone else's husband to fulfill that void.  If your husband isn't meeting these "needs", then you need to try communicating these needs to him because these needs are very important.  You should not be emotionally connecting yourself to an "outsider" or a stranger.  That guy you are co-dependent upon is an innocent unknowingly bystander in all this and don't deserve this kind of responsibility.  You truly need to think about that.  Would you want a friend to do this to you or your loved one?  I'm sure if that guy was well aware of the deep "feelings" (non-intimate) you have for him, he'd probably run for the hills or tell his wife and she may make YOU run for the hills.

If you and your husband are not getting along and having problems with open-communication, then you definitely need to seek professional help.  I bet your husband have no idea his wife is seeking emotional fulfillment in another man.  That's not fair to him, you or that guy.