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The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner - Romance - Nairaland

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The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Benee1000(m): 2:22pm On Jun 06, 2022
For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long trap of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.
Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin.

Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive trap, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad, drunk, high, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because females require emotions to enjoy sex .
And Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.
That is, the more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is during sex (legends know thisgrin).

Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.
This is why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her emotional.
And If they're already sexually attracted to a man, they will seek an emotional connection with him.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, it means a lady will hardly be able to control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

This means that the burden of keeping a 'no sex before marriage relationship' rests on the man rather than the woman.
Because she already wants it, and can't control her emotions.

Females are called weaker vessels in the Bible not because they're physically weaker than men (women can be as strong as men physically. If woman don gather mind fight you before, you will confirm grin).

They're called weaker vessels because they can't control their emotions like men.

Her religious beliefs doesn't change this because It is a fundamental part of what makes her female.

Secondly:
Desire cannot be negotiated or bought. That is, If a lady doesn't sexually desire a man, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot emotionally bond with him because there's no emotional attachment in obligatory sex.

When a lady has sex with a man she sexually desires, there's always a level of emotional fulfilment in her, and attachment to that man.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
This is the reason most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to him.

However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the weaker the strength of this emotional attachment, and the lesser her chances of bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner irrespective of her sexual attraction for him.

A lady who has had several sexual partners will hardly bond emotionally with any man, and is considered too damaged for marriage.
This is why it is important to vet a lady's past, irrespective of her sexual attraction for you.

A lady who cannot attach to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.

To a lady, sex with a man she sexually desires is at opposite ends to the one she does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, and fetishes, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm). There's no stress on the man as just caressing her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, with few minutes of penetration, is enough to open her flood gates (2mins women grin). It's how she feels emotionally about him that really matters.

The latter, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and that man go drill her hole taya before him see water, if he sees at all, no matter the size of his drilling rig grin.
This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie to satisfy himself.
Her own pleasure doesn't matter in a transactional sex.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to clients is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend she loves and is sexually attracted to.
The sex with clients is considered stressful work for her and has to be paid for, after which, she then reaches out to her boyfriend when she wants to rest, feel feminine, and to enjoy the same sex she's trying to rest from, for free! and you wonder, is it not the same sex? No, it's not.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, barely partakes in and simply lies down like a bag of beans while you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud grin,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen. You both satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, and after she gives birth to the first child, she will fulfil it only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire.
Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment in obligatory sex, the day a man defaults on his own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day he loses his value and respect to her, including her loyalty to him.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. Peace of mind will be very far from him.
She may even elope with his children.
That is If she doesn't kill him so she can inherit his resources and go be with the man she really desires.

So beware guys. If a lady demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.
Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.
Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious or sexually disciplined one, with you as the only customer.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex.
It is a mindset. There's just public & private sector.
A lady who easily sleeps around (a slut), just lacks sexual discipline, she may or may not be a prostitute.
A man can marry a godly virgin, who is a prostitute to him.

Majority of marriages are just legal / institutionalized prostitution.
The moment the husband faces financial crisis, the wife locks up her shop for security reasons (financial security grin).
No emotional attachment, no sentiment.

If you think a womans demand for no sex before marriage in a relationship is borne out righteousness, playfully ask her if she tells soft lies to gain favours or get out of trouble once in a while (All women do this whether religious or not. It's a preinstalled software in their OS grin).
If she smiles and tries to explain why, ask her what then is the difference between lying and extra-marital sex if both of them are sin and why she considers one more seriously than the other? and watch her babble without a logical answer.

However, this is the reason.
Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources.
To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.
While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't make a woman automatically sexual towards a man.

A lady who genuinely desires you cannot insist on no sex before marriage, because;
1) She would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.

Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not, because she already wants it.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

She may claim she don't want sex, but will diligently shave the evil forest around her holy temple & wear her best undies before she visits, with the thought of, 'Just In Case' grin.

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

However, most will just hide this desire, wear clothes & do things to turn you on so that you try to seduce them for sex, pretend that they don't want it with a weak resistance so you don't see them as cheap, but will later direct your odogwu to the entrance of her temple, & whisper harder! Faster!, while moaning spiritual tunes, before she finally wets the bed with 2 liters of cum, vibrating like old Nokia touchlight phone during orgasm grin.

After the first half, she lays on the bed to rest a little, and to plan how best to initiate the second half,
and the exhausted guy, trying to catch his breath, thinks he just successfully seduced the lady and proudly represented his village people with a man of the match performance like Messi. He has no idea of the manipulation at play grin .

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection is already playing a lost game and will regret it when whatever won and sustained that woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary (the other side of the coin);

No female proves her love for a man through sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, not even the offering of virginity.
Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

This is because there's a big difference between a wife who sees a man as her lover, and a wife who only sees a man as her husband and father of her children.

One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as he can provide.

One see her duty in the marriage as only to provide sex and take care of the home and children. Anything money for the home is not her concern and solely rests on the husband, as her money is her money.

For the other, all she thinks about is how she can please her lover. She sees her money as their money, and can do anything to support him financially, so he can effectively head the home and happily satisfy her sexual needs.

A woman will hardly stay 2 days beefing her lover in the same house, because his presence always stirs up her desire for romance, making her always push to quickly settle the issue, or she just ignores it and easily forgives him, so she can enjoy her man, and her marriage.

A wife with no emotional attachment to her husband cannot be easily pleased by him no matter his efforts at pleasing her.
Their home is mostly sterile like the atmosphere of a formal office, happy moments are rare, and for little misunderstandings, they can stay quarrelling for years, living like flatmates and end up enduring the marriage.

Objectively observe marriages around you and you will discover that many couples are not truly happy, and just silently enduring it either for the sake of their children, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs, social status, or financial dependence, and they don't even know why their marriage is like that despite efforts to spice it up.

The men either neglected or were not aware that sexual attraction from a woman should come first before considering her other qualities for a relationship or marriage, Because it seems a direct opposite to what they're taught by their religion that sex before marriage is sin.

They didn't know there's a difference between sexual attraction and sex, and that a lady is first a female, before her religious belief.

For those still unmarried, here's what you can do to avoid making this mistake in choosing a marriage partner.

Never try to win a lady's affection.

Instead, make yourself attractive physically, financially and socially.
This is what women interpret as sexually attractive.
If you're high-value, many women will find you sexually attractive and codedly come around you to flash varying intensities of green lights.
However, you must be able to decipher between women who want you for attention and those who want you for affection.

Attention just wants your money, gain relevance through association, and sex.
Affection wants these same things but also wants your leadership and emotional connection.

Remember, women will seek an emotional connection with a man they're genuinely sexually attracted to.

But also know that a woman's sexual attraction for a man she has no emotional connection to doesn't last long, and easily fades.
So you must act fast when you notice a woman is sexually attracted to you, if she fits other criteria you seek in a woman for a wife.
She will make it easy for you to toast her, that is if she doesn't toast you sef.
She may do small shakara, but will never stress you. If her shakara is becoming too much, withdraw your attention from her and watch her start toasting you back grin.

However, once you've established an emotional connection with her (what women interpret as relationship), her sexual attraction for you doesn't easily fade.

But remember also that since emotions opens up a woman sexually, she's going to really want sex with you.
So be prepared to resist if you want a chaste relationship.
However, once sex is involved, she becomes emotionally attached to you and becomes very clingy if she was a virgin and/or if you can skilfully make her orgasm and sqirt.

Don't chase women, rather Let them naturally fall in love with you and prove their love by willingly giving and making sacrifices for you no matter how little, irrespective of your financial status.
Women hardly give their money and make sacrifices for a man they don't love, even inside marriage.

Then, choose the one with the best physical attributes, character and any other qualities you desire in a woman that you can be proud of as your wife.
You will learn to love her with time as she will make it easy for you since she already loves you.

This is why it is a command for men to love their wife in the Bible, because men are not meant to fall in love with a woman at the beginning of a relationship.
It is the woman that should fall in love first, while the man selects the best from among the women that falls in love with him and then learn to love her in return.

Women are then commanded to submit to their husbands In all things because they mostly marry who is ready rather than who they love due to their biological clock or greed, and will not willingly submit to a man they don't love, especially in sex, money, and respect, if that man later faces financial difficulties.

Instead of loving who they marry, most men fall in love with ladies because of big ass and boobs, chase them using money until she gives in, and then they marry the love of their lives.
Only to painfully discover later that they subscribed to legal prostitution, while they watch the wife of their poor but happy neighbor who did his due diligence before marriage spread their bedsheets every morning in preparation for the next champions league match grin

Marry a lady whose fertility and emotional attachment is highly guaranteed (young virgin), has wisdom to raise your children properly, can manage a home with any resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

A lady's sexuality, personality and investments (financial & emotional) in you, is the precision Instrument you should use in your calculations to prove her worth for your commitment.

However, dealing with females is always a gamble. While you can predict the odds of an outcome through your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.
The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.

NB:
Many men will try to deny the truth of this article, because they know they've already made the mistake highlighted in it, and are silently suffering the consequences, but their ego won't allow them admit it.

81 Likes 23 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by tayo60(f): 2:40pm On Jun 06, 2022
And you want us to read this epistle

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by virginprincess(f): 2:51pm On Jun 06, 2022
grin grin grin,This long write up all because of sex.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Nobody: 4:09pm On Jun 06, 2022
A confused mind. You think you can oppose the will of God. It is like saying there's no God. Only a fool does that. And there's no atom of wisdom in the whole counsel above.

If only you know (I pray you don't experience it) the evil and satanic bondage premarital and extramarital sex has brought upon many lives and family.

12 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by zexy2030(m): 4:59pm On Jun 06, 2022
Truly, virgins are the only who should wait till wedding night, you can verify that medically, if that's your criteria, u maynot necessarily have sex with her. Check for STIs there is no way a woman start having immoral practices without deposits of infections, like hepatitis, herpes, gonorrhea, PID. even if they offer BJ there are medical test to take her through to disapprove her manipulations of no sex.

But throughly speaking, whatever is the game u allow before u marry her, such manipulations continue till death.


Women in gospel churches sincerely say yes to sexually attractive men who is not rich especially if the lady are from a good wealthy family or a guy who is financially stable.

In choice of a partner, women see sex first before provision. Let us all be honest.

The ladies up there can you date a guy who is sexually shy. Like he is so tied up that you can't access his privacy. I'm sure before wedding night, u would have tried 1millon ways to seduce him.

But a man who comes for sex as yardstick for relationship must be ready to be manipulated, no woman likes to be asked about sex directly, they will prefer they findout by themselves then blame you for it.

12 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by WatchYourSix: 5:24pm On Jun 06, 2022
Oluvan:
A confused mind. You think you can oppose the will of God. It is like saying there's no God. Only a fool does that. And there's no atom of wisdom in the whole counsel above.

If only you know (I pray you don't experience it) the evil and satanic bondage premarital and extramarital sex has brought upon many lives and family.


Bros...people hardly marry as virgins anymore
You will do well to open your brain so tgat you dont carry community vagina...

.if you like jam a lady with 30 body count telling you shes born again therefore no sex...u have enter one chance.....
This current age...all conditions are not equal..

Once the foundation is chattered.... even the righteous bcomes subjected bad conditions...

4 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Nobody: 5:59pm On Jun 06, 2022
You couldn't have said it any better.
I give you my right bicep for this. grin

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Stedygrowth: 6:15pm On Jun 06, 2022
Mr. Op, you make my day through this write ✍️ up.
Alot of young kids here will not understand the the import of this knowledge, off course, hence the reason they make so many mistakes. Their lack of insight of the import of your message, should never be an instrument of measuring how successful your write up is.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, I have learned so much from it.

28 Likes 4 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Skii(m): 6:45pm On Jun 06, 2022
Stedygrowth:
Mr. Op, you make my day through this write ✍️ up.
Alot of young kids here will not understand the the import of this knowledge, off course, hence the reason they make so many mistakes. Their lack of insight of the import of your message, should never be an instrument of measuring how successful your write up is.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, I have learned so much from it.

No go take am do bad thing o... grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by McStoic(m): 6:47pm On Jun 06, 2022
Benee1000:
For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long scam of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.
Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin.

Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive scam, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad and dejected, drunk, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.

The more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is (legends know thisgrin).

This is also why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her Emotional.
Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.

Females require emotions to enjoy sex.
And as such will seek an emotional connection with a man they're sexually attracted to.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, a lady therefore can hardly control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because that desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

Again, desire, my friends cannot be negotiated. If a lady doesn't desire you sexually, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot attach to you emotionally.

There's always a level of emotional fulfilment and attachment in a lady when has sex with a man she sexually desires.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the less the strength of this emotional attachment, and the less chance of her bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner.

A lady who is not attached to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.
This is the reason why most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to that ex.

Moreover, sex with a lady who desires you sexually is at opposite ends to one which a lady does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, fetishes, and lustful desires, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm), and doesn't require stress from the man as only few minutes of penetration, or just caressing or touching her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, is enough to open her flood gates. It's how she feels emotionally about the guy that really matters.

The later, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and you go drill her hole taya before you see water, if you see at all, no matter the size of your drilling rig grin.
This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to a client is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend that she loves and is sexually attracted to.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, while she barely partakes and simply lies down like a bag of beans as you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud grin,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen.
You satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and you look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover that the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, of which as soon as she gives birth to the first child, she fulfils only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire. Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment involved in obligatory sex, the day you default on your own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day you lose your value and respect to her, including her loyalty to you.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. she may even elope with your children sef.
Peace of mind will be very far from you, and your journey as a philosopher will be on full throttle grin. That is If she doesn't kill you so she can inherit your resources and go be with the man she really desires.

No man with a better past dies a simp.

So beware guys. If she demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.

Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.

Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious one, with you as the only customer, that is if she decides to be loyal to you.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex. It is a mindset.

Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources. To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.
While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't automatically make a woman sexual towards you.

A lady who genuinely desires you won't even bring the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection, is already playing a lost game, and he'll pay dearly for it, when whatever won and sustained the woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary;

No female proves her love for a man through sex or the promise of sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, neither is the offering of virginity.

Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

Marry a lady whose fertility is highly guaranteed (young virgin), can raise your children properly, can manage a home with the resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

There's a big difference between a wife who finds you as her lover and a wife who only sees you as her husband and father of her children.
One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as you can provide.

Finally, A lady's personality and investments (financial, emotional,time, etc) in you is a better precision Instrument that should be used in your calculations to prove her worthiness for your commitment.

However, dealing with the female is a gamble. And while you can predict the odds of an outcome from your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.

The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.


This is too long na. How can one shuttle between following APC presidential primaries and reading this long post?

1 Like

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Nobody: 7:04pm On Jun 06, 2022
One of the best writeup i have ever read in my life about sexuality.


Nice one.

There are 2 things, i know are scam.

No sex before marriage and sex time table

I can not fathom the idea that people have time table for sex

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by sirwealth(m): 7:17pm On Jun 06, 2022
Wow! sad sad shocked

4 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by blinking001(m): 7:28pm On Jun 06, 2022
Men still fall for that cheap scam?

2 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Yewandequeen(f): 7:48pm On Jun 06, 2022
virginprincess:
grin grin grin,This long write up all because of sex.
you took the words out of my mouth
Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Prettygirl200(f): 8:43pm On Jun 06, 2022
Na wa I couldn't even read everything eye pain me once, oga op next Time pls summuraise no carry novel come here again
Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by ABANGWABOI(m): 9:03pm On Jun 06, 2022
Benee1000



I don't know you but I would find you one day and I would buy you chilled beer..

God bless TRP..

8 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by haiti007(m): 9:30pm On Jun 06, 2022
Nice write up

I think I’d look into this in my quest for picking a partner angry

2 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Benee1000(m): 9:37pm On Jun 06, 2022
ABANGWABOI:
Benee1000



I don't know you but I would find you one day and I would buy you chilled beer..

God bless TRP..

looking forward to that day...lol

Amen!

2 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Novemberaura(m): 9:38pm On Jun 06, 2022
Plenty creedy men for here
Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by MadamOk(f): 9:44pm On Jun 06, 2022
Let people practice what they want or like

1 Like

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Clinghton: 9:49pm On Jun 06, 2022
Educative.

4 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Benee1000(m): 10:22pm On Jun 06, 2022
Oluvan:
A confused mind. You think you can oppose the will of God. It is like saying there's no God. Only a fool does that. And there's no atom of wisdom in the whole counsel above.

If only you know (I pray you don't experience it) the evil and satanic bondage premarital and extramarital sex has brought upon many lives and family.


You're the one with a confused mind rather.

I guess you missed or didn't understand this part of the write-up below.

A lady who genuinely desires you won't even bring the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

If you really read the write-up to understand its message, you'd realize that it places the burden of a 'no sex before marriage relationship' on the man rather than the woman.

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by koyyess: 10:34pm On Jun 06, 2022
Sh1t thread.

1 Like

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Nobody: 10:45pm On Jun 06, 2022
You statistics may be correct because of the perverseness in our generation.

But it will be a gross error with damnable consequence to repeat the mistake of prophet Elijah when he thought he was the only one remaining and standing for the truth not knowing that God had reserved some 7,000 men who had not bow down to worship Baal.

Invertedly, one may think since immorality among young people is the order of the day, everybody is bad and the word of God has no effect again. But I can assure you that God still preserve His faithful, submissive and empowered children, both male and female.

Don't allow Satan to cheat you, all these malady you see today are already prophesied in the Bible. Don't let satan make you an instrument that fulfill negative prophecy like Judas Iscariot.

See what is written:

2Thessalonians 2:7: "For the secret power of breaking the law (mystery of sin) is already at work in the world. But that secret power can only do so much until the One (Holy Spirit) Who keeps back the man of sin (the antichrist) is taken out of the way."

Let me interpret that for you:

Lawlessness will continue to rise and the king James version calls it "mystery of iniquity", because no one will seems to understand how and why. This is a prelude to the emergence of the antichrist, who is being restrain by the Holy Spirit because of the presence of the 'Church' in the world and the mercy of God on all sinners to repent before the time of grace will expire.

The rain did not fall until Noah enter the ark. Fire and brimstone did not fall on Sodom and Gomorrah until Lot went out of the place. The wrath of God will not come on the wicked until the 'triumphant church' is raptured at the second coming of Jesus.

This is the time of mercy and grace. REPENT AND BELIEVE THE GOSPEL AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM THIS UNTOWARD GENERATION.



WatchYourSix:


Bros...people hardly marry as virgins anymore
You will do well to open your brain so tgat you dont carry community vagina...

.if you like jam a lady with 30 body count telling you shes born again therefore no sex...u have enter one chance.....
This current age...all conditions are not equal..

Once the foundation is chattered.... even the righteous bcomes subjected bad conditions...

7 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by blaquebelle: 11:38pm On Jun 06, 2022
McStoic:



This is too long na. How can one shuttle between following APC presidential primaries and reading this long post?
As it's too long, why you com quote am. Big head

5 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by blaquebelle: 11:39pm On Jun 06, 2022
Long epistle for nonsense post.
Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by RIPPLEEFFECT: 12:18am On Jun 07, 2022
O.P.

I'll buy you that bottle someone promised you.

pm me your account details as soon as you can.

This is incredibly spectacular. You just casually unriddle a major enigma.

This is priceless.

Thank goodness, I am equipped!

15 Likes 4 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Benee1000(m): 12:46am On Jun 07, 2022
RIPPLEEFFECT:
O.P.

I'll buy you that bottle someone promised you.

pm me your account details as soon as you can.

This is incredibly spectacular. You just casually unriddle a major enigma.

This is priceless.

Thank goodness, I am equipped!

Wow! Thanks.

Don't know how this pm of a thing on nairaland works, but I'll mention you on a dead thread to give you the details.
Thanks

7 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by padi94(m): 8:29pm On Jun 07, 2022
Goodness me

3 Likes

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Nobody: 7:07am On Jun 08, 2022
Benee1000:
For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long scam of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.
Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin.

Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive scam, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad and dejected, drunk, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.

The more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is (legends know thisgrin).

This is also why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her Emotional.
Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.

Females require emotions to enjoy sex.
And as such will seek an emotional connection with a man they're sexually attracted to.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, a lady therefore can hardly control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because that desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

This means that the burden of a 'no sex before marriage relationship' rests on the man rather than the woman.

Again, desire, my friends cannot be negotiated. If a lady doesn't desire you sexually, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot attach to you emotionally.

There's always a level of emotional fulfilment and attachment in a lady when has sex with a man she sexually desires.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the less the strength of this emotional attachment, and the less chance of her bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner.

A lady who is not attached to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.
This is the reason why most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to that ex.

Moreover, sex with a lady who desires you sexually is at opposite ends to one which a lady does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, fetishes, and lustful desires, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm), and doesn't require stress from the man as only few minutes of penetration, or just caressing or touching her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, is enough to open her flood gates. It's how she feels emotionally about the guy that really matters.

The later, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and you go drill her hole taya before you see water, if you see at all, no matter the size of your drilling rig grin.

This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie to satisfy himself.
Her own pleasure doesn't matter in a transactional sex.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to a client is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend that she loves and is sexually attracted to.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, while she barely partakes and simply lies down like a bag of beans as you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud grin,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen.
You satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and you look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover that the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, of which as soon as she gives birth to the first child, she fulfils only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire. Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment involved in obligatory sex, the day you default on your own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day you lose your value and respect to her, including her loyalty to you.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. she may even elope with your children sef.
Peace of mind will be very far from you, and your journey as a philosopher will be on full throttle grin. That is If she doesn't kill you so she can inherit your resources and go be with the man she really desires.

No man with a better past dies a simp.

So beware guys. If she demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.

Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.

Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious one, with you as the only customer, that is if she decides to be loyal to you.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex. It is a mindset.

If you think a womans demand for no sex before marriage in a relationship is borne out righteousness, playfully ask her if she tells soft lies to gain favours or get out of trouble once in a while. (All women do this whether religious or not).
If she smiles but tries to explain why, ask her what then is the difference between lying and extra-marital sex if both are considered as sin and why she considers one more seriously than the other? and watch her babble without a logical answer.

However, this is the reason.

Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources. To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.

While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't automatically make a woman sexual towards you.

A lady who genuinely desires you won't even bring the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection, is already playing a lost game, and he'll pay dearly for it, when whatever won and sustained the woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary;

No female proves her love for a man through sex or the promise of sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, neither is the offering of virginity.

Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

Marry a lady whose fertility and emotional attachment is highly guaranteed (young virgin), can raise your children properly, can manage a home with the resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

There's a big difference between a wife who finds you as her lover and a wife who only sees you as her husband and father of her children.
One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as you can provide.

Finally, A lady's personality and investments (financial, emotional,time, etc) in you is a better precision Instrument that should be used in your calculations to prove if she's worth your commitment.

However, dealing with the female is always a gamble. And while you can predict the odds of an outcome from your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.

The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.

This is the best write up ever. I would have made the worst mistake. I tried to desperately win a girl's affection and it was leading to insults

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Benee1000(m): 12:29am On Jun 09, 2022
obynzo:


This is the best write up ever. I would have made the worst mistake. I tried to desperately win a girl's affection and it was leading to insults

Thanks.

You should be grateful to her tho. She saved herself and you (unintentionally) from future regrets.
The majority of ladies would just string you on and accept if you're the best available option financially and\or socially.

Never try to win a lady's affection.
Instead,
Make yourself attractive physically, financially and socially. This is what women interpret as sexually attractive
Let them willingly fall in love with you, prove their love through giving and making sacrifices for you no matter how little, irrespective of your financial status,
and finally,
Choose one with the best physical attributes, character and any other qualities you desire in a woman that you can be proud of as your wife.
You will learn to love her with time as she will make it easy for you since she already loves you.

This is the reason why it is a command for men to love their wife in the Bible,
because men are not meant to fall in love with a woman at the beginning of a relationship.
The woman is the one that should fall in love, while the man selects the best from among the women that falls in love with him and then learn to love her in return.

Note: I have edited the article to include the above.

Thanks

15 Likes 4 Shares

Re: The Costly Mistake Many Men Make When Choosing A Marriage Partner by Alahaja63: 2:46am On Jun 09, 2022
Ok

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