Wow!!! Excellent is an understatement. You should be the Minister for Women Affairs... Lol.
From a female's perspective, I couldn't agree more!

Well done Benee1000 I had to re-join NL just to commend you!

opeyy:
Wow!!! Excellent is an understatement. You should be the Minister for Women Affairs... Lol.
From a female's perspective, I couldn't agree more!

Well done Benee1000 I had to re-join NL just to commend you!

Spiralwedge - mentioning you to read this. Too long to screenshot to you, Lol.

A woman agrees with a man on this tyoe of matter??
Wow!!!!! There might be hope for the human race after all....

good write up.

nothing is guaranteed. Ur last 3 paragraphs are deep.

This is a well analysed study on emotions and sex; best I've read in years. He's able to put to words what is observed and experienced everyday. The writer was able to graphically explain the contemporary issues in regards to sex and marriage.

However, the goal of religious beliefs for marriage and sex is altogether different. Religion tends to prevent disorder, confusion, greed, irresponsibility and diseases. Howbeit, the writer did refer to this briefly.

Many religious people will not like the write-up, because they have been conditioned or wired otherwise. Many will get the message, but can not help it. The pressure is real.

I must confess that the write-up is absolutely spot-on, and the import will do the wise one good. That piece is from a learned and experienced fellow.

��

I think it is necessary considering it is your folks greatest weapon against men. In fact, it should be studied in school

Yewandequeen:
you took the words out of my mouth

It is a good write up that can help both genders. I don't think women have pride in obligatory sex. They can save themselves from the cage of sexual un-satisfaction.

Prettygirl200:
Na wa I couldn't even read everything eye pain me once, oga op next Time pls summuraise no carry novel come here again

Yewandequeen:
you took the words out of my mouth

@ Benee1000,
Have you noticed that almost everyone that complained about your thread being so long are females?
Fact check: If you visit any hospital, healing home, prayer houses, and other places where people with problems normally go to, you will surely find more females than males. The truth is, no other specie of living creatures on earth hates learning like the female gender, and Most of the problems women encounter in this world is caused by their hatred for learning. Most of them are easily deceived by fake pastors, fake prophets, and even the devil because they hate to read and learn from the bible, yet they are claiming to be more religious.
How can a very educative thread like this appear long to someone despite the lessons embeded in almost every paragraph? These kind of people has never read any book from beginning to end in their entire life, and sadly, they might never learn anything all through their life.
Thanks OP for this wonderful and wisdomful write up. Pls if there is any book that you read that inspired you to put up this insightful piece, just recommend it to me and I will download and devour it asap.

Benee1000:
For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long scam of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.
Especially the ones who claim to love you but totally avoid being sexual with you with the excuse that sex before marriage is sin.

Do not fall for this seemingly upright but ultimately destructive scam, whether she's a virgin or not.

A woman's sexuality is more important than her religious beliefs when it comes to relationship & marriage.
Females are emotional beings as much as they're sexual beings, and religion doesn't change this.

A lady is a female first, before her religious beliefs.

Let me explain:

A lady who genuinely desires & is attracted to a man cannot help herself from being sexual with him, whether she's religious or not.
This genuine desire and attraction predisposes her to be in the feminine and automatically, sexual towards him.
They are incapable of controlling their lust for the man they desire, and desire, is an emotion, something felt and not intentional nor negotiated.

Have you ever wondered why sex with a lady in a highly emotional state (after a quarel, aka make up sex, or when she's excited, scared, sad and dejected, drunk, lonely etc.) is often very intense and pleasurable for her?

It's because Sex is directly proportional to a woman's emotions.

The more emotional she is, the more sexual she becomes.
The more logical or less emotional she Is, the less sexual she becomes.
The more emotionally expressive a lady is, the more sexually expressive she is during sex (legends know this).

This is also why the easiest way to sleep with a lady is to make her Emotional.
Emotions opens up a woman sexually.
When her emotions are high, sex is not far away.

Females require emotions to enjoy sex.
And as such will seek an emotional connection with a man they're sexually attracted to.

Since desire is an emotion, and emotions opens up a woman sexually, a lady therefore can hardly control herself from being sexual with a man she genuinely desires because that desire makes her emotional, and emotions makes her sexual.

She could be a cold blooded nun to every other guy but burns hot for the man she's attracted to.
She may withhold sex for religious reasons but cannot control being sexual or romantic with him, and unless such a man can control himself, it's only a matter of time before sex happens.

This means that the burden of a 'no sex before marriage relationship' rests on the man rather than the woman.

Again, desire, my friends cannot be negotiated. If a lady doesn't desire you sexually, she simply doesn't, and therefore cannot attach to you emotionally.

There's always a level of emotional fulfilment and attachment in a lady when she has sex with a man she sexually desires.
The strength of this attachment is strongest for the man who disvirgins her and the man who can give her earth shattering orgasms. They don't easily break up and forget this categories of men.
However, the more sexual partners a lady has had, the less the strength of this emotional attachment, and the lesser the chance of her bonding emotionally with her next sexual partner irrespective of her sexual attraction for him.

A lady who is not attached to you emotionally is not a lady you want to get married to. Neither your money nor her religion can keep her loyal in such union.
This is the reason why most married women cheat, especially with their ex. They're still emotionally attached to that ex.

Moreover, sex with a lady who desires you sexually is at opposite ends to one which a lady does out of obligation.
The Former indulges her emotions, as well as her sexual fantasies, fetishes, and lustful desires, which easily takes her to the promised land (orgasm), and doesn't require stress from the man as only few minutes of penetration, or just caressing or touching her, or even just hearing his voice or seeing him, is enough to open her flood gates. It's how she feels emotionally about the guy that really matters.

The later, (obligational sex) is akin to prostitution and you go drill her hole taya before you see water, if you see at all, no matter the size of your drilling rig .

This is because it involves little to no emotions from her. She's doing it as her own duty in a business transaction. To get money or financial security from the man in return for the use of her coochie to satisfy himself.
Her own pleasure doesn't matter in a transactional sex.

This is why the sex an olosho gives to a client is very different from the one she does with her boyfriend that she loves and is sexually attracted to.

For a female, sex borne out of desire (validational) is for her, to please herself, while sex due to obligation (transactional) is for the man, to please the man and get his resources in return.

Which one do you think you will enjoy more? The sex you beg or pay for and she agrees to so that peace will reign, while she barely partakes and simply lies down like a bag of beans as you pound away with a handy bottle of lubricant as drilling mud ,
or the one she looks forward to, begs you for and brings her A game so she can satisfy her sexual cravings with multiple orgasms?

The first is just like masturbating, but with a real person. The sex is like eating food to cure hunger but didn't savour the meal.

For the second, the pride, pleasure and satisfaction when a man cums after he has made the lady orgasm is on another level.
You feel like a king, the lady adores you and she feels like a Queen.
You both satisfied your hunger, savoured the meal, and you both look forward to the next meal.

If you are made to wait for sex, you will eventually discover that the sex was never worth the wait.
Because what you get at best after that wedding is obligatory sex, of which as soon as she gives birth to the first child, she fulfils only sparingly, because no woman really enjoys obligated sex, and that child is insurance of her financial security from you, while your obligation to provide as a man increases with each new birth.

Ever heard of women having sex time table for their husbands? This is the origin, obligation, void of desire.
Desire can not be negotiated, it is spontaneous.

Moreover, since there's no emotional attachment involved in obligatory sex, the day you default on your own part of the deal (financial provision), or when she considers it insufficient, that is the day you lose your value and respect to her, including her loyalty to you.
She may not show it immediately, but with time, nagging, disrespect, disregard, sex deprivation and even cheating will creep into that marriage. she may even elope with your children sef.
Peace of mind will be very far from you, and your journey as a philosopher will be on full throttle . That is If she doesn't kill you so she can inherit your resources and go be with the man she really desires.

No man with a better past dies a simp.

So beware guys. If she demands that you must wait until after marriage for her to become sexual with you, abort mission.

Her marriage demand is not borne out of righteousness but rather a need for the security of your resources.
She's codedly offering sex in exchange for the resources that comes with your commitment.

Marrying such a lady is like marrying a prostitute, albeit a religious one, with you as the only customer, that is if she decides to be loyal to you.

Prostitution isn't about having multiple sexual partners, but wanting to be rewarded for sex. It is a mindset.

Majority of marriages are just legal / institutionalized prostitution.
The moment the husband faces financial crisis, the wife locks up her shop for security reasons (financial security ).
No emotional attachment, no sentiment.

If you think a womans demand for no sex before marriage in a relationship is borne out righteousness, playfully ask her if she tells soft lies to gain favours or get out of trouble once in a while. (All women do this whether religious or not. It's a preinstalled fundamental software in their OS ).
If she smiles but tries to explain why, ask her what then is the difference between lying and extra-marital sex if both are considered as sin and why she considers one more seriously than the other? and watch her babble without a logical answer.

However, this is the reason.

Marriage in itself, has little to do with love, it's all about resources. To make a man accountable for a woman and her offspring.

While this is necessary as a woman needs resources to properly cater for her offspring, a man don't need to be married to a lady to experience her love and sexual side.
That sexual side of her comes naturally when she meets a man she's genuinely attracted to.

Marriage doesn't automatically make a woman sexual towards you.

A lady who genuinely desires you cannot insist on the idea of no sex without marriage to you, because;
1) she would be so scared of loosing you to other ladies who wants you, especially when you're high value.
2) A lady has little to no control over her body for a man she sexually desires.
Only the man does. Only the man can determine whether sex will happen or not.

What she'd rather do if really serious about being chaste before marriage is to beg you not to take advantage of her sexually and help her keep herself whenever she's with you.
She knows she can't help it, and you only have to make the move for sex for it to happen.

Some ladies will even make the move for sex themselves, put their hope in you to resist, and will genuinely blame you when you fail to resist.

A lady who insists on a no sex before marriage most likely has other options, certainly doesn't desire you sexually, and definitely cannot attach to you emotionally.

A man who has to win a woman's affection, is already playing a lost game, and he'll pay dearly for it, when whatever won and sustained the woman's affection is no more.

A woman's affection, while very rare and priceless, comes free. It's a gift. Gifts are freely given, not bought.
However gifts are giving to those who are found worthy.

But here's the corollary;

No female proves her love for a man through sex or the promise of sex. The existence of prostitution should reveal this to you.

Sex to a lady is either for her pleasure, a service to be rendered for a price, a tool for manipulation, or a weapon for destruction.
If a lady is clever enough, all can be applied at the same time, to multiple men.

Sex is never a proof of love, neither is the offering of virginity.

Love is proven through giving and making sacrifices.
However, sexual attraction comes first, because while women can be sexually attracted to a man they don't love (their crush), they can only love a man they're sexually attracted to.

If a lady is not sexually into you, just forget about her other qualities and dey your lane.

Don't make the grave mistake many good men make by saying "she'd make a good wife cos she's a good person, and sex is not that important to me".

There's a big difference between a wife who finds you as her lover and a wife who only sees you as her husband and father of her children.
One makes a happy home irrespective of circumstances, and the other makes a peaceful home as long as you can provide.


If as a married you've already made this mistake, although it's almost impossible to correct, there are some things that can be done to resolve it which I will reveal in another thread.

For those still unmarried, Here's what you can do to avoid making this mistake most men make in choosing a marriage partner.

Never try to win a lady's affection.
Instead,
Make yourself attractive physically, financially and socially. This is what women interpret as sexually attractive
Let them willingly fall in love with you, prove their love through giving and making sacrifices for you no matter how little, irrespective of your financial status,
and finally,
Choose one with the best physical attributes, character and any other qualities you desire in a woman that you can be proud of as your wife.
You will learn to love her with time as she will make it easy for you since she already loves you.

This is the reason why it is a command for men to love their wife in the Bible,
because men are not meant to fall in love with a woman at the beginning of a relationship.
The woman is the one that should fall in love, while the man selects the best from among the women that falls in love with him and then learn to love her in return.

Marry a lady whose fertility and emotional attachment is highly guaranteed (young virgin), can raise your children properly, can manage a home with the resources at both your disposal, and will be a useful companion, and not because marriage is the only way to have sex with her.

Finally, A lady's personality and investments (financial, emotional,time, etc) in you is a better precision Instrument that should be used in your calculations to prove if she's worth your commitment.

However, dealing with the female is always a gamble. And while you can predict the odds of an outcome from your calculations to know where best to stake your commitment, nothing is guaranteed.

The only way a gambler is guaranteed not to lose is not to stake.

So, how do one who know who they are attracted to sexually?

Tohsynetita1:

So, how do one who know who they are attracted to sexually?

I have edited the article to answer your question.

gentlegenius:

@ Benee1000,
Have you noticed that almost everyone that complained about your thread being so long are females?
Fact check: If you visit any hospital, healing home, prayer houses, and other places where people with problems normally go to, you will surely find more females than males. The truth is, no other specie of living creatures on earth hates learning like the female gender, and Most of the problems women encounter in this world is caused by their hatred for learning. Most of them are easily deceived by fake pastors, fake prophets, and even the devil because they hate to read and learn from the bible, yet they are claiming to be more religious.
How can a very educative thread like this appear long to someone despite the lessons embeded in almost every paragraph? These kind of people has never read any book from beginning to end in their entire life, and sadly, they might never learn anything all through their life.
Thanks OP for this wonderful and wisdomful write up. Pls if there is any book that you read that inspired you to put up this insightful piece, just recommend it to me and I will download and devour it asap.

You're welcome.

The inspiration for the article came from connecting dots I observed in our society, personal experiences from living with different married couples while growing up, previous relationships and books, especially the Rational Male series by Rollo Tomassi.

opeyy:
Wow!!! Excellent is an understatement. You should be the Minister for Women Affairs... Lol.
From a female's perspective, I couldn't agree more!

Well done Benee1000 I had to re-join NL just to commend you!

Spiralwedge - mentioning you to read this. Too long to screenshot to you, Lol.

Thanks

This write-up should be made into a Creed for the initiation of young boys into Adulthood.

We are in the age of knowledge and enlightening.

gentlegenius:

@ Benee1000,
Have you noticed that almost everyone that complained about your thread being so long are females?
Fact check: If you visit any hospital, healing home, prayer houses, and other places where people with problems normally go to, you will surely find more females than males. The truth is, no other specie of living creatures on earth hates learning like the female gender, and Most of the problems women encounter in this world is caused by their hatred for learning. Most of them are easily deceived by fake pastors, fake prophets, and even the devil because they hate to read and learn from the bible, yet they are claiming to be more religious.
How can a very educative thread like this appear long to someone despite the lessons embeded in almost every paragraph? These kind of people has never read any book from beginning to end in their entire life, and sadly, they might never learn anything all through their life.
Thanks OP for this wonderful and wisdomful write up. Pls if there is any book that you read that inspired you to put up this insightful piece, just recommend it to me and I will download and devour it asap.

And what's the meaning of this, why the attack?Do you know me how did you come to the conclusion that WE dont read? You couldn't pass your message without quoting me? Everyone is entitled to their own option, the fact that someone opinion doesn't sit well with you gives you no right to judge!
Next time do well to pass your message and move on without an attack!

Try to read it,I wanted to stop but my spirit said read one day it will save you.


quote author=McStoic post=113537097]


This is too long na. How can one shuttle between following APC presidential primaries and reading this long post?[/quote]

A very wonderful write-up.
Thank you so much.

Have you ever wonder why songs of solomon is included in the bible.

Have you read through the book and see how desperately the woman was, searching for her lover in the songs of solomon.

Have you seen where the bible tells the husband to love their wife.

These are the mistake we make nowadays that are causing divorce, adultery ....

God will help us.

Oluvan:
A confused mind. You think you can oppose the will of God. It is like saying there's no God. Only a fool does that. And there's no atom of wisdom in the whole counsel above.

If only you know (I pray you don't experience it) the evil and satanic bondage premarital and extramarital sex has brought upon many lives and family.

guy, you are seriously a very big f00l for this statement!

Prettygirl200:
Na wa I couldn't even read everything eye pain me once, oga op next Time pls summuraise no carry novel come here again

The post is really worth your time
Try to read up

This write up is worth everyone's time
I have forwarded the link to my Guys on WhatsApp
The ones I feel might need it.

Nice one OP

tayo60:
And you want us to read this epistle

Sorry, It’s for the men to read and not women.

Benee1000:
For guys interested in marriage or long term relationships with religious ladies, please beware of the age long scam of their promise to fulfill all your sexual desires UNTIL after marriage.

This is an awesome write up. Let he who has ear hear these words

OP Please kindly read my post in the family section-Please My Marriage ! Advice Please . I do sincerely crave your advice ASAP. A brother is confused. I have also sent you an email request

Cheasystickylov:
OP Please kindly read my post in the family section-Please My Marriage ! Advice Please . I do sincerely crave your advice ASAP. A brother is confused. I have also sent you an email request

I have read the post and it's a touching one honestly. I deeply sympathize with you.

However, most of the advice given on that thread simply won't work, as you would have discovered because I know you have tried majority of them before bringing the matter to this forum.
Most of those advices are just suggesting ways to negotiate desire from your wife. Advices like talking to your wife or people that will to her about the issue, doing things to please her to win back her heart etc. Will not work.
It's like a guy trying to woo (negotiate) a lady who's not into him to suddenly develop feelings for him. She'd only accept his proposal if he were her best or only option financially, otherwise, he is just wasting his time, and will end up disgusting her more.
Since You're already married, trying to negotiate back her desire will only make her detest you further.

Desire can't be negotiated. However, it can be manipulated because it is based on emotion. Emotions can be triggered, you just have to discover how.

like I said in the article of this thread, there's a way for married men to resolve issues like this, although it's not easy or 100% guaranteed it will work, but hopefully, it will help.

When I'm done with the write-up, I'll mention you on the thread where I will post it.

I will also respond to your mail.

Benee1000:


I have read the post and it's a touching one honestly. I deeply sympathize with you.

However, most of the advice given on that thread simply won't work, as you would have discovered because I know you have tried majority of them before bringing the matter to this forum.
Most of those advices are just suggesting ways to negotiate desire from your wife. Advices like talking to your wife or people that will to her about the issue, doing things to please her to win back her heart etc. Will not work.
It's like a guy trying to woo (negotiate) a lady who's not into him to suddenly develop feelings for him. She'd only accept his proposal if he were her best or only option financially, otherwise, he is just wasting his time, and will end up disgusting her more.
Since You're already married, trying to negotiate back her desire will only make her detest you further.

Desire can't be negotiated. However, it can be manipulated because it is based on emotion. Emotions can be triggered, you just have to discover how.

like I said in the article of this thread, there's a way for married men to resolve issues like this, although it's not easy or 100% guaranteed it will work, but hopefully, it will help.

When I'm done with the write-up, I'll mention you on the thread where I will post it.

I will also respond to your mail.

waoooo. This is pure genus. It appears you live together with us. Your analysis is apt. I did every suggestion on this forum, some work for a few days but they will just eventually make her more angry. She even said I was doing eye service I am very grateful for this. Please I will be waiting for your email and the other post u talked about

Cheasystickylov:
waoooo. This is pure genus. It appears you live together with us. Your analysis is apt. I did every suggestion on this forum, some work for a few days but they will just eventually make her more angry. She even said I was doing eye service I am very grateful for this. Please I will be waiting for your email and the other post u talked about

U soumd frustrated and unhappy...must you be with your source of unhappiness ??

For thé most part op is saying the truth.

My ex girlfriend used to pressure me for sex

I was the one who was dodging.

Femzaremz:
guy, you are seriously a very big f00l for this statement!

don't blame him, religion make people stupid and blind, it imprisoned their mind.
the reason why jesus himself didn't preach any religion.
But their Daddy G.O must keep fuelling his private jets

he who uses his time and money to buy love no dey pay finished.

legendary players like us knows all this things, borne outta experiences, first hand.
i ain't a writer but OP, u did a great job for the upcoming boys of the street.

but i doubt they will hear cos the third leg has a brain of it own....

Stedygrowth:
Mr. Op, you make my day through this write ✍️ up.
Alot of young kids here will not understand the the import of this knowledge, off course, hence the reason they make so many mistakes. Their lack of insight of the import of your message, should never be an instrument of measuring how successful your write up is.

Thank you for sharing your knowledge, I have learned so much from it.

I love your day here and I was about saying the same too because there are tooany children on this thread so they don't understand instead they related it to religion ... What about before religion? Or when there is no religion? Are people not getting married

Cheasystickylov:
OP Please kindly read my post in the family section-Please My Marriage ! Advice Please . I do sincerely crave your advice ASAP. A brother is confused. I have also sent you an email request

Hi cheasystickylov, I have written the article that could help you save your marriage on this thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/7218055/how-revive-sex-sexless-marriage#114544552

Sorry I wasn't able to write it since, my laptop had some issues, and typing on a phone is not my thing.

I hope the article helps your marriage.
Hope you're doing good

Benee1000:


Hi cheasystickylov, I have written the article that could help you save your marriage on this thread below.

https://www.nairaland.com/7218055/how-revive-sex-sexless-marriage#114544552

Sorry I wasn't able to write it since, my laptop had some issues, and typing on a phone is not my thing.

I hope the article helps your marriage.
Hope you're doing good

hi hmmmm, thank you so.much. can we talk briefly ? Thanks

No lies in this write up, see my guys (paddies and babes) . let's be truthful once to r self. When a woman love you, na you go the run from s*x.