spiritualmubi:
Hello, good day Nairalanders.
I'm presently in a critical situation in my life. I really need your advice on this situation of mine.
I just feel like a looser, I am an undergraduate studying botany. In 300 level due to me deferring a semester due to a Relapsing illness (schizophrenia). I suffered from brain fog when I resumed school after the relapse and lock down. I'm 26 and I don't have any skill and don't have a degree at hand.

The reason for this is not far fetched because till date I still harbour that anger for what my Dad has done to me. When I was in Jss1 in a very good school and also doing well, he removed me and my younger brother from school and took us to a Quran memorizing Islamic school following the advice of a hausa colleague of his in his place of work.

We memorized the holy book but for me it came with it's price, I didn't even have solid memorization of the Quran self to speak. I went through hell in those two years memorizing the holy book, ranging from mental, physical and spiritual challenges, which I believe triggered the schizophrenia am suffering from today. After the graduation ceremony from the Islamic school he enrolled me in conventional secondary school into Ss1 which means I never attended Jss2 and Jss3. Had episodes of relapse of the ailment am suffering from after then twice apart from the first occurrence after my memorization of the holy book. I believe that if I was allowed to continue my education back then I would have been a graduate by now and even working and must have gained financial independence
Presently my mum brought the idea that we should meet a Sheikh who is a saint of God, regarding my issue of not being able to read, assimilate let alone retain, the Saint said that I should defer a session, that is a year so that he will pray for me that there is a good spirit standing beside me that needs to be dissolved into my system, which (the spirit) is as a result of a spiritual book, litanies I read that my father gave me.

So now I don't have any skill, my Father has no source of income whatsoever, he doesn't earn any salary, he only has ND, the money we are even feeding on presently is a contribution by BOT of a foundation he founded to buy a house for its Islamic school.

I started learning photography during the lock down but left it for no tangible reason. My Dad insisted that I should learn shoe mending, that it is easy to learn and get small small change, I started it but had to leave it when I faced the challenge of sowing and polishing shoes, I don't just like the work.

Presently am been pressured by my parents to get something doing to be getting money because even to eat once in a day is a problem for us now, and to buy the drug am living on which enables me to sleep but believe me I'm at loss of what to do, should I go back and learn photography as a skill or should I find a job, like a company that can employ an Ssce holder. Cos the former needs start up fee and also need time for me to master it before talking of getting money from it.

Secondly, regarding my academics, I am thinking of using this one year or two years which I would defer to gain financial independence and mental well being, then rewrite jamb and apply for my original passion which is medicine and surgery but hmm, am already in my late twenties, so please Nairalanders help a confused soul.

Sorry for the long write up, just had to say everything.
Thanks, any contribution is welcomed I am really in a critical situation.

Have you thought of getting professional help, most especially a therapist to work you through navigating everyday life?

Another thing i noticed from your write up is indecision, decide what you want to do and go for it, you can't live life pointing fingers, you may have had a tough childhood but it shouldn't determine your future, you are the architect of your future.

I'm also not in support of quitting 3 years of school, finish your degree and if you want to go do medicine after go for it. Don't make a habit of littering the place with unfinished projects.

spiritualmubi:
Hello, good day Nairalanders.
I'm presently in a critical situation in my life. I really need your advice on this situation of mine.
I just feel like a looser, I am an undergraduate studying botany. In 300 level due to me deferring a semester due to a Relapsing illness (schizophrenia). I suffered from brain fog when I resumed school after the relapse and lock down. I'm 26 and I don't have any skill and don't have a degree at hand.

The reason for this is not far fetched because till date I still harbour that anger for what my Dad has done to me. When I was in Jss1 in a very good school and also doing well, he removed me and my younger brother from school and took us to a Quran memorizing Islamic school following the advice of a hausa colleague of his in his place of work.

We memorized the holy book but for me it came with it's price, I didn't even have solid memorization of the Quran self to speak. I went through hell in those two years memorizing the holy book, ranging from mental, physical and spiritual challenges, which I believe triggered the schizophrenia am suffering from today. After the graduation ceremony from the Islamic school he enrolled me in conventional secondary school into Ss1 which means I never attended Jss2 and Jss3. Had episodes of relapse of the ailment am suffering from after then twice apart from the first occurrence after my memorization of the holy book. I believe that if I was allowed to continue my education back then I would have been a graduate by now and even working and must have gained financial independence
Presently my mum brought the idea that we should meet a Sheikh who is a saint of God, regarding my issue of not being able to read, assimilate let alone retain, the Saint said that I should defer a session, that is a year so that he will pray for me that there is a good spirit standing beside me that needs to be dissolved into my system, which (the spirit) is as a result of a spiritual book, litanies I read that my father gave me.

So now I don't have any skill, my Father has no source of income whatsoever, he doesn't earn any salary, he only has ND, the money we are even feeding on presently is a contribution by BOT of a foundation he founded to buy a house for its Islamic school.

I started learning photography during the lock down but left it for no tangible reason. My Dad insisted that I should learn shoe mending, that it is easy to learn and get small small change, I started it but had to leave it when I faced the challenge of sowing and polishing shoes, I don't just like the work.

Presently am been pressured by my parents to get something doing to be getting money because even to eat once in a day is a problem for us now, and to buy the drug am living on which enables me to sleep but believe me I'm at loss of what to do, should I go back and learn photography as a skill or should I find a job, like a company that can employ an Ssce holder. Cos the former needs start up fee and also need time for me to master it before talking of getting money from it.

Secondly, regarding my academics, I am thinking of using this one year or two years which I would defer to gain financial independence and mental well being, then rewrite jamb and apply for my original passion which is medicine and surgery but hmm, am already in my late twenties, so please Nairalanders help a confused soul.

Sorry for the long write up, just had to say everything.
Thanks, any contribution is welcomed I am really in a critical situation.

if you are soo dull as you claim who wrote this write up for u?

Might advice you to get back learn your photograp , earn a little thr eat and buy drugs. Get your camera after and a pay job. ( And get back to school if necessary if necessary

Put age aside and Chase your dreams life is hope, plus you can't do better if you don't focus on the present let the ugly past be forgotten and you're gonna be fine.

erico2k2:

name one Good christianity itself has brought??

Western education to Nigeria

spiritualmubi:
Hello, good day Nairalanders.
I'm presently in a critical situation in my life. I really need your advice on this situation of mine.
I just feel like a looser, I am an undergraduate studying botany. In 300 level due to me deferring a semester due to a Relapsing illness (schizophrenia). I suffered from brain fog when I resumed school after the relapse and lock down. I'm 26 and I don't have any skill and don't have a degree at hand.

The reason for this is not far fetched because till date I still harbour that anger for what my Dad has done to me. When I was in Jss1 in a very good school and also doing well, he removed me and my younger brother from school and took us to a Quran memorizing Islamic school following the advice of a hausa colleague of his in his place of work.

We memorized the holy book but for me it came with it's price, I didn't even have solid memorization of the Quran self to speak. I went through hell in those two years memorizing the holy book, ranging from mental, physical and spiritual challenges, which I believe triggered the schizophrenia am suffering from today. After the graduation ceremony from the Islamic school he enrolled me in conventional secondary school into Ss1 which means I never attended Jss2 and Jss3. Had episodes of relapse of the ailment am suffering from after then twice apart from the first occurrence after my memorization of the holy book. I believe that if I was allowed to continue my education back then I would have been a graduate by now and even working and must have gained financial independence
Presently my mum brought the idea that we should meet a Sheikh who is a saint of God, regarding my issue of not being able to read, assimilate let alone retain, the Saint said that I should defer a session, that is a year so that he will pray for me that there is a good spirit standing beside me that needs to be dissolved into my system, which (the spirit) is as a result of a spiritual book, litanies I read that my father gave me.

So now I don't have any skill, my Father has no source of income whatsoever, he doesn't earn any salary, he only has ND, the money we are even feeding on presently is a contribution by BOT of a foundation he founded to buy a house for its Islamic school.

I started learning photography during the lock down but left it for no tangible reason. My Dad insisted that I should learn shoe mending, that it is easy to learn and get small small change, I started it but had to leave it when I faced the challenge of sowing and polishing shoes, I don't just like the work.

Presently am been pressured by my parents to get something doing to be getting money because even to eat once in a day is a problem for us now, and to buy the drug am living on which enables me to sleep but believe me I'm at loss of what to do, should I go back and learn photography as a skill or should I find a job, like a company that can employ an Ssce holder. Cos the former needs start up fee and also need time for me to master it before talking of getting money from it.

Secondly, regarding my academics, I am thinking of using this one year or two years which I would defer to gain financial independence and mental well being, then rewrite jamb and apply for my original passion which is medicine and surgery but hmm, am already in my late twenties, so please Nairalanders help a confused soul.

Sorry for the long write up, just had to say everything.
Thanks, any contribution is welcomed I am really in a critical situation.

You can become anything you want to be face the future with courage and do the work.

If you want to earn why learning search on nairaland for mk.82 remove the dot go through the tread it's your key to financial breakthrough.

Get a night security job to do.so that u can go to school during d day.

Jackanda1:
The claims made by religion are actually 100% real. Back then, i use to think spirituality was psychological and mental until i had some experiences. Ofcourse people ought to be scientific and rational with their thinking, but religion is very important.

so it more rational to send your child to Islamic school than to normal school

Amayabor1:


Western education to Nigeria

you mean slave trade?
Plz define western education, cos from books in British Museum, by their own account they came with Guns and Bible and Soldiers in the name of HRM.
Plz google Ibrahim Njoya

erico2k2:

you mean slave trade?
Plz define western education, cos from books in British Museum, by their own account they came with Guns and Bible and Soldiers in the name of HRM.
Plz google Ibrahim Njoya

You asked one good thing Christianity brought and since the thread was about something that happened in Nigeria, i assumed you meant one good thing Christianity brought to Nigeria and i told you that Christianity brought western education to Nigeria. If you don't know what western education mean, why should we be having this conversation? Let me assume that you went to primary school, secondary school, and later graduated from a tertiary institution like a university. Or you received Islamic education?

What does Sultan Ibrahim Njoya have to do with this conversation? Was he a Nigerian? Mtcheeeew!

What good thing has Islam brought to Nigeria? Jihad and Terrorism right?

GloriousGbola:
@mindlog, methinks this gentleman is throwing words about. Paranoid schizophrenia is nothing like what he is describing

He has to be clinically diagnozed by a Psychiatrist for him to say that is the disorder he is living with not only basing it on what he read online because some disorders overlap each other.

spiritualmubi:
Hello, good day Nairalanders.
I'm presently in a critical situation in my life. I really need your advice on this situation of mine.
I just feel like a looser, I am an undergraduate studying botany. In 300 level due to me deferring a semester due to a Relapsing illness (schizophrenia). I suffered from brain fog when I resumed school after the relapse and lock down. I'm 26 and I don't have any skill and don't have a degree at hand.

The reason for this is not far fetched because till date I still harbour that anger for what my Dad has done to me. When I was in Jss1 in a very good school and also doing well, he removed me and my younger brother from school and took us to a Quran memorizing Islamic school following the advice of a hausa colleague of his in his place of work.

We memorized the holy book but for me it came with it's price, I didn't even have solid memorization of the Quran self to speak. I went through hell in those two years memorizing the holy book, ranging from mental, physical and spiritual challenges, which I believe triggered the schizophrenia am suffering from today. After the graduation ceremony from the Islamic school he enrolled me in conventional secondary school into Ss1 which means I never attended Jss2 and Jss3. Had episodes of relapse of the ailment am suffering from after then twice apart from the first occurrence after my memorization of the holy book. I believe that if I was allowed to continue my education back then I would have been a graduate by now and even working and must have gained financial independence
Presently my mum brought the idea that we should meet a Sheikh who is a saint of God, regarding my issue of not being able to read, assimilate let alone retain, the Saint said that I should defer a session, that is a year so that he will pray for me that there is a good spirit standing beside me that needs to be dissolved into my system, which (the spirit) is as a result of a spiritual book, litanies I read that my father gave me.

So now I don't have any skill, my Father has no source of income whatsoever, he doesn't earn any salary, he only has ND, the money we are even feeding on presently is a contribution by BOT of a foundation he founded to buy a house for its Islamic school.

I started learning photography during the lock down but left it for no tangible reason. My Dad insisted that I should learn shoe mending, that it is easy to learn and get small small change, I started it but had to leave it when I faced the challenge of sowing and polishing shoes, I don't just like the work.

Presently am been pressured by my parents to get something doing to be getting money because even to eat once in a day is a problem for us now, and to buy the drug am living on which enables me to sleep but believe me I'm at loss of what to do, should I go back and learn photography as a skill or should I find a job, like a company that can employ an Ssce holder. Cos the former needs start up fee and also need time for me to master it before talking of getting money from it.

Secondly, regarding my academics, I am thinking of using this one year or two years which I would defer to gain financial independence and mental well being, then rewrite jamb and apply for my original passion which is medicine and surgery but hmm, am already in my late twenties, so please Nairalanders help a confused soul.

Sorry for the long write up, just had to say everything.
Thanks, any contribution is welcomed I am really in a critical situation.

Can i have a conversation with u. Am also a photographer.

TeeWelz:
I’ve never posted a comment here ever since I signed up on NL but my conscience keep disturbing me that I must say something. I hope this helps anyway.

I thank God that you could be courageous enough about seeking for help because alot of people die in silence and that’s how the devil ruin their lives.

Firstly, you have to forgive the past, whatever your parents have done, you have to forgive and let go so you can focus on the present and the future.

Whatever happens now is an obstacle to make you weak and discouraged to achieve that big price ahead.

It doesn’t matter if you were born into an Islamic home. That’s where God placed you to be by birth, however that’s not your final destination.

If you feel stuck remember that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. He’s willing to accept and help you out of your situation.

HE said: I am the WAY, the TRUTH, and LIFE

The way you must follow to know the truth and have a blessed and eternal life.

Secondly, I would not advice you to joke or leave school. Think about how bad you wanted the admission before you finally got it. Think about the late night burning candles, early morning, tests and exams you passed through before getting to where you are now and you’re just 1 session away from your final year.

Whatever you missed in school you can still make up for it with time and you will graduate even though you may not sign out with your mates but eventually you will.

There’s a joy that comes with people seeing and calling you a graduate even if after graduation and NYSC it’s difficult to get high paying jobs but at-least you’re one step ahead and it’s an opportunity to bigger things ahead.

My dear we live in a messed up society, your discipline in school don’t determine success in your field. What employers want to know is do you have B.sc or HND and do you have common sense?

Let me foretell you the consequences of writing jamb all over and starting again.

1. By the time you leave, reality sets in and the big bad world slaps you in the face when you see your level mates and juniors going for NYSC and you’re not with them.

2. You become Depressed

3. You start chasing money and won’t have zeal to go back to school except with God’s intervention.

4. You would regret you gave up

5. Unstable economy will frustrate your efforts

4. ASUU will help add to your age

5. You start seeing yourself as a nuisance

6. You become a drop-out and many more unforeseen circumstances

Thirdly, since you’ve deferred admission for one year. It’s a beautiful avenue to learn a skill. It’s not a must you learn a physical skill. You can learn a skill online like graphics design, coding, affiliate marketing e.t.c or better still if you want to go for physical trainings the sky is the limit.

All you have to do is to be committed and dedicated in learning for that 1 year and be certified, so that after that training you will start making money for yourself and stop being depressed on how to make money.

I actually know how being broke and stuck can mess with someone’s mind. Like I said it could lead you to taking wrong decisions and will lead you astray.

Lastly, you shouldn’t be the one to worry about your family’s responsibility, your parents should be responsible for that, even In your Quran they are supposed to feed you till you’re 40years of age.

They shouldn’t bother you neither should you feel bothered because that pressure can make you loose focus. For your own sanity, focus first on yourself before thinking of how to help other members of your family.

If you hadn’t deferred your admission due to some cleric advice I would have asked you not to. All you needed was to have a relaxed mindset to finish up with your studies and take the next step but since you have.

Leave every other problem aside focus on the 1 year you have to solve your financial instability by getting a skill handy.

If you don’t have nothing to offer no one will give you money! Always remember that.

The scriptures says: if the blind leads the blind they will both fall in a ditch.

I wish you all the best.

JESUS LOVES YOU.

Thanks sir, I haven't deferred a year yet, just an opinion of a cleric that I should do so

Occurstaem:


You will surely overcome it.
I've been there before. Most people won't understand you. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on your self. I will urge you not to take leave of absence in school. What would you be doing after that? Unless you have a concrete plan laid out and you are ready to follow the plan to the letter, please don't think of LOA.

I think this is happening to you because you over think about stuff that you have no control over. Just focus on what is within your control and stop blaming yourself for not being able to be the ideal self you want to be for now. You can still develop your self.
You get depressed because you know you are not what you should be. Don't give up. Keep fighting. Be positive and optimistic.
You need someone to confide in and also you should be seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist for therapy and evaluation from time to time. I suggest you get rosemary tea. It helps in boosting brain functions.

Since you are a Muslim, I have some ruqyah audio you can keep listening to and share some special prayers with you. Do you pray tahajjud? If no, start observing it and ask Allah to help you. Pleade don't visit anybody not upon the Quran and sunnah, lest they misguide and lead you to commit shrik.
Never neglect your solah, engage in dhikr intensively, seek repentance abundantly from Allah and put your trust in Him. May Allah ease your affairs, aamiin.

And I don't think you have schizophrenia, it seems like a major depressive disorder. When and where were you diagnosed of schizophrenia? Can you let me in on the symptoms you experienced or experiencing?

I was diagnosed to have schizophrenia when I was 18 in a psychiatry , which I still go to up till date for follow up, and regarding the symptoms, bro it was crazy, even ran from home and slept far away from home outside for 3 good days, they had to look for me, voices and visions commanding me, and all. Thanks bro, and regarding the tahajjud I even find it difficult waking in the morning for fajr due to the prescribed drug I take to induce sleep.

frozen70:


Sorry about the mess uour father caused for you that made you to start having issues upon issues

What was in his mind or what was his gain when he was moving you around like a piece of furniture

Now it's affecting both you and him

Pls try and finish school and have that certificate then you can continue with medical course in another school or same school
If care is not, if you take a year or two recess, you may not have any certificate of your own to show that you ever went to school

As for what the Alfa said, how are we sure that you won't get another mad one to the existing one

I think you should talk to God about your health challenges because you were not born with it

Forget about your age counting, it's not how far but how well

Think straight and fix yourself to be stable

Thanks, I appreciate

Mindlog:


He has to be clinically diagnozed by a Psychiatrist for him to say that is the disorder he is living with not only basing it on what he read online because some disorders overlap each other.

I was diagnosed at 18 by a psychiatrist. It is an ailment that it's relapse happens occassionally if drugs aren't taken or cos of too much stress. My first encounter with it mandated me to stay for two months in a psychiatry.

Protein0:
Is your brother facing similar challenges?

cc spiritualmubi

No he isn't, he is doing well all wise, even in a law school presently

Zeinymira:
Oh. It is Schizophrenia. Please don't stop with schooling...you have a year to go. Instead, focus on your medication and endure the remaining one academic year.
Your parents shouldn't burdening you with feeding and all.....it can worsen your mental state

Thanks ma'am I appreciate.

spiritualmubi:
I was diagnosed at 18 by a psychiatrist. It is an ailment that it's relapse happens occassionally if drugs aren't taken or cos of too much stress. My first encounter with it mandated me to stay for two months in a psychiatry.

Okay. Are you offered psychotherapy alongside your medication?

inforesource:
You need to defined your passion first. I don't know your age, but let me break it down: If you are between 12-18years, you should go back to school, if no money, get a skill that is in line with your passion and train yourself and be good at it. If you don't understand how to know your passion, then train yourself in any skill that comes to your mind. Acquire more and more skill during this period of age grade I mentioned.

Besides, don't be afraid of making mistakes. Focus less on making money, while that is the final goal, but learn more and more skills. By doing this, you will find what you were created to be.

However, if you are between 18-25 years of age. This age range requires more focus on already learned skill or education. If you don;t have any of this yet, then, combine the 1st 12-18 with 18-25 years. At this point, While you are learning skill(s), try to make money by doing menial jobs. No excuses!

Lastly, you MUST move pass your father undoing and stop attributing your failures to what your father did to you. This will not allow you to focus and accept responsibilities that come your ways.

If you need more on life and seasons of life, what and what to do each of the seasons, you can respond to it here and I will guide you through.

You still have a very bright future. FOCUS!!!!!

Thanks sir, I am 26, no skill and not done with schooling.

arthurwillia:
Wow a lot of things to go through here..

Boss you are at a point where you don’t have to choose what you’ll do o, if it’s to polish and sew polish and sew and use it to gain experience and learn how to make shoe not shoe mending..

If you like the photography go and learn, but I’ll advice you go for shoe making, it’s not bad

God be with you

My Dad is insisting I should learn shoe repair, cos it can be learnt at a short period of time and make small changes with it, he believes that I am underating the work and too proud.

spiritualmubi:
My Dad is insisting I should learn shoe repair, cos it can be learnt at a short period of time and make small changes with it, he believes that I am underating the work and too proud.

Please oo
Don’t stop at shoe repair
Learn the making
How much will repair fetch you

chatinent:
Omo, bro, you need to take a break before it turns into depression.

Can we talk about it elsewhere?

Yes bro, how do we connect?

Mindlog:


Okay. Are you offered psychotherapy alongside your medication?

Only did that when I was admitted, for now it is only medication and regular follow up in the hospital

dontrulee:
It's alright.
I understand your plight perfectly.
Yes, I had schizophrenia and I ended up studying Medicine and Surgery and became one of the best students. I can help you out if you don't mind, but the problem is I don't have enough time.

Alright sir, I will be grateful if you help out.

spiritualmubi:
Yes bro, how do we connect?

Let's do it: chatinent@gmail.com

spiritualmubi:
Only did that when I was admitted, for now it is only medication and regular follow up in the hospital

I understand as our health system is poorly organized as you ought to be accessing psychotherapy alongside your medication.

Lilchilz:
Try as much as possible to associate yourself with smokinq loud you go reason well. Highly inspirational!!!

This ur advice get as e take be.

Amayabor1:


You asked one good thing Christianity brought and since the thread was about something that happened in Nigeria, i assumed you meant one good thing Christianity brought to Nigeria and i told you that Christianity brought western education to Nigeria. If you don't know what western education mean, why should we be having this conversation? Let me assume that you went to primary school, secondary school, and later graduated from a tertiary institution like a university. Or you received Islamic education?

What does Sultan Ibrahim Njoya have to do with this conversation? Was he a Nigerian? Mtcheeeew!

What good thing has Islam brought to Nigeria? Jihad and Terrorism right?

I know all that, U forgot o ne crucial thing, when the missionaries came to Africa there was nothing like Nigeria, it was just west part of Africa and the 1st place they came across was Calabar. I made mention of Ibrahim Njoya, Im sure you read a piece about how he started his own thing if allowed to grow it would have been our own in teh west. Have a good look at Ethiopia, they have their own alphabets so are the Indians and the chinease.The Egyptians never had that B4 they built all what they did. Being an Engineer, I have studied in the past Ancient un explained Engineering of early men. There was even proof that during the bronze age, we African could extract Iron from its Ore, there is a well documented video of this on youtube when I find the link I will show you, its a tribe in central Africa, this was far b4 the white men could extract iron. there was proof of Iron as weapon in one of the pyramid as well. I wont need to bore you with all this. What I was trying to say is simple, if the white men had left us we would have been by far more developed than they are right about now cos civilisation started with us Africans, its a shame the British had this talks well documented and here you are saying otherwise. If you studied history of early life of the three major tribes in Nigeria, they had well established system of government and education as well. Do not forget that the Uk was colonised as well by the romans' I know you live in Nigeria and your materials to research are limited, however I will try and give you few pointers if you care to read more of this. I am a flued Engineer by trade and the vast majority of techniques we use today were gotten from ideas of old technologies.
for refrence see bellow
https://thinkafrica.net/african-writing/
https://atlantablackstar.com/2014/08/08/11-ancient-african-writing-systems-demolish-myth-black-people-illiterate/
https://africanholocaust.net/scriptsofafrica.html
Read this, you will be shocked http://www.fafich.ufmg.br/luarnaut/Letter%20Leopold%20II%20to%20Colonial%20Missionaries.pdf
https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zgh9ycw/revision/5

Thank you everyone for your contributions, am grateful, and those asking of my health, am doing fine, all Glory to God.

spiritualmubi:
I was diagnosed to have schizophrenia when I was 18 in a psychiatry , which I still go to up till date for follow up, and regarding the symptoms, bro it was crazy, even ran from home and slept far away from home outside for 3 good days, they had to look for me, voices and visions commanding me, and all. Thanks bro, and regarding the tahajjud I even find it difficult waking in the morning for fajr due to the prescribed drug I take to induce sleep.

With time you will get better, bi quwwatiLlah. Keep your duty to Allah, it might be a test.
Have you tried ruqyah? If you haven't, I think you should give it a try.
You should also, for better mental health, make general lifestyle adjustment. Do away with anything that affect your mental health, whether it's your habit or action. I hope you get what I'm saying cos I saw your one of your comments on one topic like that.