i am a girl, aged 20 years, the first child in the family of 5 childern, my parents struggle to make ends meet. i gained admission into one of the higher istitution in Nigeria @ the age of of 17. dispite all my endovours the burden was too much for my parents i had no other way than to assist my parent, i had a painful experience on the line that i dont like sharing with people, until wen i started having an affair with my lectuer in school, this man help me, my sisters n brothers, parents,cousins. in the campus i am on top becos i ve n use things my mates dont have, wen i complain to my friends they tell me to carry on that some people are envious of my position that it does not mean.
but for me i always feel conscience guilty each time i remember that i am having an affair with a married man who has a home, wife n kid. but i have no other option than to continue in the affair. he has reduced the stress in my home and it is difficult for me to quit each time i remember the assistance .
but my conscience is not at peace. my ppl knw him but dont knw i am having an affair with him. he gave me money to give to my sisters for their exams.
i knw of a girl dat i met in one of the higher institution i visited during ther SUG week, she came from poor background, she took me to the government house of the state were i say n dined with the governor of the state who she say was her guy, the man helped the girl to complete her education n her family elevated.
i dnt like cn my family suffer and i cannot play d dirty game because my conscience will not allow me to do so.
even right now in my suitation i pity the wife n the little kid,because i am using their instrument without taking permission.
he said "because you are intelligent i'll train you to any level you want, untill you decide to get married", he stoped me from clubing with bad colleague or group of girls in my sch., he provide everything i need before 24hrs. but one problem is that he is too jealous, if i talk to male students in the school/recieve call it is a problem because i will be questioned.
sometrimes i feel as if i am in a big chain, he is a free man he can do whatever he like, how can i question him.
IF I LEAVE HIM MY FAMILY WILL GO BACK TO HAND TO MOUTH METHOD OF LIFE< AND MY SISTERS HE PROMISE TO HELP TO SCH WILL BE DENYED ACCESS TO THE HIGHER INSTITUTION, MY PARENTS I DONT WANT THEM TO SUFFER<
I LOVE MY FAMILY THAT I WISH TO TAKE THEIR THINKING RESPONSIBILITY
SHOULD I KEEP ON SACRIFICING MYSELF TO MY FAMILY OR SHD I STOP.
I LOVE MY FAMILY THAT I WISH TO TAKE THEIR THINKING RESPONSIBILITY

pls friends in Nairaland advice me n what to do i am dying of silence

hmmmm this is a critical case oooooo

but the main thingy is dat he has a family wat if his wife finds out? its means u are breaking a home

i fink u shld back off nd God will provide a better way 4 u to solve ya problems
good luck

sexkillz:

And let anyone without SIN be the first to cast a STONE!

sexkillz sexkillz sexkillz hw many times did i call ya ?

your story is sad but for real what the heck are your parents doing? why are they sitting on their hands?

When there is hardship and someone gives you a little releif thats when you get your sh!t together because no condition is permanent. They should be out there working hard and saving money instead of just relying on you. I bothers me that they dont even ask you were all the money is coming from. Anyway i dont have an advice i just have anger for your folks and yes i know things are hard but seriously?

@poster
this is what happen when people dont want to accept their place in life and are too greedy to the "want it all" state of mind.

THE END DOESNT JUSTIFY THE MEANS. arm robbers say the same things (as you do) about their devilish acts. they were hungry and needed to provide for their family so they robbed and killed.

your act is not only wrong but  counter productive. would you rather have a diploma that is worthy of you or simply get a diploma that has absolutely no value since you didn't earn it right. . . . . . . .  and at what cost?! being someone's LovePeddler.

this man is only using what he knows you lack to get you to do what he pleases. you are a tool to his devilish plot. what next? he switches to your little sister when you've finally graduated? or better yet, your lil' brother maybe?

however anyone may want to look at it, its better to live a full life accepting your fate RATHER THAN being someone's sexu.al slave for hand outs and not being able to look at your self in the mirror.

as for the laying down with a married man, i will only say that KARMA IS A BIATCH!

If you ask me, I would say the ends justify the means

^^^i hope you'll feel the same way if/when your daughter goes and sell herself to her professor due to lack of funds.

Typical naija sugar daddy/runs girl situation.

Many nigerian women have gone to italy for this sort of thing.

Poster you're already in too deep and going back to a poor lifestyle would be too difficult for you no doubt. Hope you eventually find a husband who doesnt mind your past, assuming you dont end up a polygamous wife.

Would you understand if a potential boyfriend of yours said he had the same experience as you?

Sweetheart, I understand where you are coming from and I feel your pain. No one has a right to cast a stone at you but dear what you are doing is WRONG. Your situation is hard but you don’t need to resort to having an affair wit ur lecturer for the fact that he is a married man. How would you feel if you were in his wife’s shoes? Rememba the good book says ‘do to others what you would have them do to you’.

Please look for a job no matter how small the pay is, you and your folks would need to adjust and forget this lecturer of yours who is only using you. If he wants to help you he should do so without asking ‘something’ in return. You would survive with or without this man and its better you survive without him AND with a clear conscience.

@ mr brownjay pls I am not selling my body

Thanks for advising me friends

^^YES YOU ARE, you are selling your body mind and soul for some quick relief for your poor state of finance.
would you Be Intimate with this man if it wasnt for what he provides for you?!

the minute you start to accept fully what you are doing, is the minute you will understand the enormity of your actions.

i call that: left hand/right hand. like any business transaction, you provide him with a service and he repays you through different means aka good grades/school fees for your siblings and possibly better scores on your test  to show you how a good lay you are.

however you look at it, what you are doing is no different than what the gals on the street corners selling their bodies are doing.

@steady angel
you are not steady at all. Your conscience is too seared with guilt over this thing.
You have used that word over and over and you are opening up when you are deep in the murk of things.But hey you can still come out.
Since you cannot undo the past, let bygones be bygones and focus on now and the future.
Have you ever posed to ask yourself how many girls in worse situations than yours are making ends meet without selling their bodies?
What else do they do? is there any option? explore pliz.
You are the child here not the parent!Be careful what you sacrifice. You are shouldering responsibilities not meant for you and its no wonder you have resorted to extreme measures.Your parents laid back attitude leave a lot to be desired, but anyway put a stop and use what you have now to move forward.
How do u feel when you see your family advancing while another is slowly disintergrating?
There's nothing mind disturbing than ill gotten success.A good man will help you with no strings attached.
Change this its all in your hands.

waoh! Am short of words, but the most important aspect of this story is that you realised on time, but your realisation will be in vain if nothing is done to avert the danger that will definately catch up with you in a very short time.

THE BITTER TRUTH = YOU ARE SLEEPING ON KEGS OF GUNPOWER !

btw i thought lecturers say they dont have money.

so where is this particular one getting the funds to support his mistresses from.

MRbrownJAY:

^^^i hope you'll feel the same way if/when your daughter goes and sell herself to her professor due to lack of funds.

She is doing it to get an education and hold her family up which means when she is out of that school it will probably end. She has enough brains to know that it is wrong but it is a means to an end and when that end is acheived and she can stand on her own it will all be history.

OP: hmm--- I was at the verge of saying "this a classic Nollywood script", but there's a glimpse of genuineness in your story.

First things first, the devil is at work. Oh yes he is.

Secondly, you need to find a way to sack him.

Hence, Your TO-DO list from me to you goes thus:

1) Terminate that affair ASAP!

2) Ask God for forgiveness---(If you're a theist)

3) Retrace your "not -so -smart" steps and fix them.

4) Face your studies.

5) As for y'alls financial status: Hustle hard and pray hard-- Everything will work out fine. 

.

Mynd_44:

She is doing it to get an education and hold her family up which means when she is out of that school it will probably end. She has enough brains to know that it is wrong but it is a means to an end and when that end is acheived and she can stand on her own it will all be history.

this reply is the reason why so many people are doing crimes and what not in the guise of "doing it to fill an immediate need".
i guess thinking like you do, the arm robbers have also enough brains to know that what they are doing is wrong but since its all about achieving your immediate goals, regardless of your actions, then its ok, right?!

too many people today dont want to face the reality of life and dont want to face the consequences of the poor choices they make in life.

the important question here is:
- WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE YOU ARE SENDING TO YOUR SIBLINGS when you show them that its ok to LovePeddler yourself out to achieve quick unworthy rewards?

- WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE YOU ARE SENDING TO YOUR PARENTS when you show them that instead of using your intelligent brain (that they sent you to school to develop), when life obstacles arise, you rather spread your legs?

- WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE YOU ARE SENDING TO YOUR FRIENDS/SCHOOL MATES when you show them that you rather achieve in school through the back door rather than through the front door and with your head held high?

- WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING TO DEVILISH PROFESSORS who think what they are doing is ok and who will now continue the vicious circle of taking advantage of lost souls like the poster?

but most importantly, WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE ARE YOU SENDING TO YOURSELF when looking at the mirror everyday and aint proud of the person you see. this devilish deed will follow/haunt you for the rest of your life and whether you believe it or not, someday will catch up to you.

How about this, its her effing punny and she can eff whosoever she likes. Nuff said

^^^clap for yourself wise man, no wonder the brain of so many are fukced up!

its all about doing whats RIGHT when SHE obviously knows that what she is doing is wrong.

I didn't read the full story but through peoples comment I grabbed 1 or 2 things.

[b]I am not the type that goes with the crowd because I am a realist but I will tell you one thing: It’s none of my biz if u were involved with a married man or not but I only noticed that U are a very lazy lady.

Fine you slept with the married man and got funds from him. Why didn't you invest these funds into a lucrative business and dump him immediately.

You said you don't lack anything on campus, that u use sturvs other peeps dnt have. Why didn't you put all those money to better use? Or give your mom the money to trade with even if it’s petty trade or something. You will just monitor the business & threaten them that if they don't invest the money wisely, that's the end of providing for them.

I suggest you buy & sell costume jewelries at school. Or learn make-up and beauty care that you can do even in your room at school. Or make babes hair at whatever cost that is convenient for you. University babes like to look good so capitalize on that.

I am giving you these advice because money that you don't work hard for is spent recklessly and unaccounted for. It’s obvious that you don't have a reasonable savings, if not you would have dissed the lecturer by now.

Sleeping with married men would ruin your life eventually. You have made that mistake that's why I won’t judge you but you didn't capitalize on that mistake, u are living for yesterday and today instead of you to have quickly gotten a shop or something.

If you don't break away from dt shackles now, it would consume u. You need your independence.

Get a sustainable business going now & get your family to run it for you or you run it yourself when you are free or during weekends or public holidays.

Your case is sympathetic but what happens when lecturer cannot provide again. I suggest you make hay when the sun shines by getting a business that would always be marketable even if recession hits again.
Best of luck.[/b]

Steadyangel:

i am a girl, aged 20 years, the first child in the family of 5 childern, my parents struggle to make ends meet. i gained admission into one of the higher istitution in Nigeria @ the age of of 17. dispite all my endovours the burden was too much for my parents i had no other way than to assist my parent, i had a painful experience on the line that i dont like sharing with people, until wen i started having an affair with my lectuer in school, this man help me, my sisters n brothers, parents,cousins. in the campus i am on top becos i ve n use things my mates dont have, wen i complain to my friends they tell me to carry on that some people are envious of my position that it does not mean.
but for me i always feel conscience guilty each time i remember that i am having an affair with a married man who has a home, wife n kid. but i have no other option than to continue in the affair. he has reduced the stress in my home and it is difficult for me to quit each time i remember the assistance .
but my conscience is not at peace. my ppl knw him but dont knw i am having an affair with him. he gave me money to give to my sisters for their exams.
i knw of a girl dat i met in one of the higher institution i visited during ther SUG week, she came from poor background, she took me to the government house of the state were i say n dined with the governor of the state who she say was her guy, the man helped the girl to complete her education n her family elevated.
i dnt like cn my family suffer and i cannot play d dirty game because my conscience will not allow me to do so.
even right now in my suitation i pity the wife n the little kid,because i am using their instrument without taking permission.
he said "because you are intelligent i'll train you to any level you want, untill you decide to get married", he stoped me from clubing with bad colleague or group of girls in my sch., he provide everything i need before 24hrs. but one problem is that he is too jealous, if i talk to male students in the school/recieve call it is a problem because i will be questioned.
sometrimes i feel as if i am in a big chain, he is a free man he can do whatever he like, how can i question him.
IF I LEAVE HIM MY FAMILY WILL GO BACK TO HAND TO MOUTH METHOD OF LIFE< AND MY SISTERS HE PROMISE TO HELP TO SCH WILL BE DENYED ACCESS TO THE HIGHER INSTITUTION, MY PARENTS I DONT WANT THEM TO SUFFER<
I LOVE MY FAMILY THAT I WISH TO TAKE THEIR THINKING RESPONSIBILITY
SHOULD I KEEP ON SACRIFICING MYSELF TO MY FAMILY OR SHD I STOP.
I LOVE MY FAMILY THAT I WISH TO TAKE THEIR THINKING RESPONSIBILITY

pls friends in Nairaland advice me n what to do i am dying of silence

so? your doing something good i would stay if i were you then as soon as you graduate tell his wife.

then ask god for forgiveness.


sometimes we need to bad things to survive

I won't judge you but what i will tell you is that no matter how hard it is for you. You should try and leave the man. You will be surprised how doors will start to open for you and your family .What if something happens to the man and he cannot provide for you what will you do? look for another married man? So just look at it like dat and try your best to leave.Somehow you will survive, maybe your parents will be forced to start to start hussling for your siblings. I am sorry but you have selfish parents who will sit down and allow their daughter to sell herself to take care of their own responsibilities. Have you ever for one day considered the mans wife and kids. Put youself in the womans shoes. Do you know how many times he has neglected his own family just to meet your own needs. Besides you will end up wasting your life cos i bet you,he will not ever let you go,you are his investment and probably will become a mistress for life.I don't think you even have a relationship. You spend all your time with someones husband, at the end of the day . Have you gone to his house to see how he treats his wife maybe because of you. You have an option .

Mynd_44:


She is doing it to get an education and hold her family up which means when she is out of that school it will probably end. She has enough brains to know that it is wrong but it is a means to an end and when that end is acheived and she can stand on her own it will all be history.

I have to agree with MrbrownJay using myself as an example,  i spent most of my life outside nigeria with my parents doing everything for me. When i got back to nigeria, i wanted to stand on my feet, i had less than $100, i started selling pure water, soft drink and whatever i could sell PEOPLE AROUND ME WERE SHOCKED!! What da hell. I know what i want There's noting like having your dignity and peace! Trust me i'm no ugly chick. If you catch my drift.








To stand one need to start small, its a step by step process. You cant justify being wrong because you in a bad situation, you need to make things right by doing the right thing i'm not judging you poster.

kurus:

tpia@

didn't you sleep with some guy on NL who ended up blackmailing you for money?   Keep shut in this matter!

omg my secret is out

see all my business on nl

even somebody wey just join and with only four posts, don see my open yansh for here

eyah!!!

Ignore the hypocritical christian rabble rousers who are pharisees in full regalia. If you are a christian, i will suggest you fast and pray about this for 3 days and ask God for guidance on exactly what to do and how to end the s-ex bit. God will surely guide you when you ask; if you are a muslim, ask him if he wants to marry you as a second wife.

craze dey worry you and your ancestry.

.

kurus:

Y U DEY CURSE YOURSELF? Be careful this ugly fat gurl. Your Bottom is so starved you pick guys up on NL abi? that you picked up a blackmailer, who recorded your sorry Bottom on video shows how bad you wanted to get laid and didnt think to be wary of a one night stand! hows your antidepressant medication? Still using it?

you dont say!!!


i pity your schizophrenic lineage cos obviously you got a double dose of the crazies from both sides.

if dem born your papa and mama well, post more.

offspring of monkeys and spawn of apes.