Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,032 members, 7,956,823 topics. Date: Monday, 23 September 2024 at 08:04 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family (4491 Views)
Husband Discovers That His Wife’s Supposed Four Siblings Are Her Children / At The Age Of 20, What Is A Young Man Supposed To Have Achieved? / Is Anything Wrong With This Monthly List A Wife Wrote To Her Husband (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 2:48pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Sugargul:Na ur type dey cause the early death of men. 1 Like |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 3:04pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Actually, you are doing a better job of that all for and by yourself. 2 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 3:17pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:How please. Kindly explain cos am anxious to learn. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 3:23pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Marriage is meant to be a partnership and much simpler living than living single, isn't it? Well, here you marriage reveals your life is worse than it was when you were probably single. Not only do you seem to carry the bulk of the financial burden for 4 more, you also stress yourself over the meaningless and are already looking to carrying on task of doing all the grocery planning and shopping for your home as well. All so you can spite your wife in some way. Stress is the quickest killer and you are already piling it on by the loads. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by emmanuelbrown26: 3:28pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Romanoff:F. U. Ck off bitch 1 Like |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Raalsalghul: 3:31pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Sugargul: SMH. Naija married men dey try. This one has diverted from the topic and started talking about the wife's needs. 6 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Romanoff(f): 3:31pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 3:32pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:What do suggest please. Because you seem to sympathize with me over the at bolded, while you seem to differ in your other comment |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 3:35pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Raalsalghul:Na so the women here be ooooo. You feed them, clothe them, feed their family join, and they will still expect you to be romantic in bed. 1 Like |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by emmanuelbrown26: 3:35pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Romanoff:For real? |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Zonefree(m): 3:37pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Getting married to a Nigerian girl is same as to embrace heavy liability. 2 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 3:40pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:I don't necessarily sympathize. Instead, I accept them as choices you made for yourself. Only revealing them so you maybe see that it is you doing yourself, not anyone else in this. Since you chose to carry the bulk of the financial burden all by yourself, there is really little or nothing that can be done about that at this point, especially if your wife does not work or even income of her own to contribute. As for the stressing over the food cost, you can have your wife present a cost breakdown of her expenses each week/month and you both visit the market together to purchase all that is needed. This until you are comfortable enough to get over your need to micromanage it all yourself, as that is a core part of the problem. There are other ways to cut back on killer stress but the extent you can break from them depends on choices you have made in your marriage. Marriage is meant to be an agreement between a man and woman, a partnership for better living, not a reason to become more stressed in life. 1 Like |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by emmanuelbrown26: 3:41pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Most times, u don't hv to blame d women for d shit, u blame men most times. Bcs, some men are never men at all, they don't hv willpower to say NO to there woman's excess demand during courtship. Just take a very look at what op wrote, u will definitely agree with me that op enticed d woman with money during courtship or op begged d woman to marry him and this is just d consequences of such act. Another angle, d wife's sister is living with them,. Whereas if reverse was to be case d case, where d husband younger brother is staying with them, heaven would hv let loose. Generation of women we have this day are terrible, know this and know peace. One was even supporting d wife excesses all bcs things are expensive in d market. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 3:57pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
emmanuelbrown26:Oga sorry, I am the op actually. Believe me, I am not the type that impresses women with money. Infact my wife doesn't know my true financial worth. And these are the very reasons I've always kept her in the dark as per my financial capabilities. Because I know if she's aware she would want more money. And seriously ontop of this amount I spend I've been tagged a stringy man already. Even though she doesn't tell me that to my face, I see it in her eyes. The only reason I give this much money is actually because of the kids. And also because I don't want the issue food to be any problem in the house. Growing up wasn't easy for me, so I don't want my kids lacking goodies in the house. Truth is I wanted to actually find out if I'm doing enough and that is the reason I created the thread. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by satandeterrible: 3:58pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:This is absolutely the best option. Just watch out how she'll mag about it. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by satandeterrible: 4:01pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Sugargul:Yeah sure. OP is running a less privileged scheme. Her wife is do useless that she can't provide even the most basic items for herself. OP carried a burden. He didn't marry a partner. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 4:02pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
satandeterrible:OP probably married himself a wife with intention of carrying that burden all by himself to begin with. In that case, it is indeed Op's job to cater to her needs as well. Once you choose, particularly in African setting, to enter into marriage without requiring your partner share the financial burdens with you, it becomes your responsibility to provide for your partner in addition. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by emmanuelbrown26: 4:17pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
satandeterrible:Op this is d raw truth, 4 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by emmanuelbrown26: 4:28pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Oga mak I tell u d truth here, anybody wey go cum tell u say u no dey try na devil and enemy of progress. U are really trying in providing for d family in this hard times. D nature of my hustle cum mak me dey meet and interact with people on daily bases, en get some families wey dey collect 130k monthly both husband and wife and dem dey ok. So why won't 80k be 3nough for d family. Something is wrong somewhere sir and u hv to find out that 2 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by NOETHNICITY(m): 4:31pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
emmanuelbrown26:Wow, thanks for this words of encouragement. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by tensazangetsu20(m): 4:41pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
I really feel for married men in Nigeria. Food is very expensive now. I recall just 4 years ago a 25 litre keg of vegetable oil was 7000 now it's 35000. Cost of items increase everyday. I buy food at home and I know where it pinches. Beans that we used to use and do throwaway then is now 500 naira for a derica. I remember when beans was 100 naira for a derica and I would make moimoi or akara every morning. Gas is also something else at 1000 naira per kg and things will get worst. You guys getting married and having kids here are trying o really trying. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by LogicBomb8: 4:54pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Biko somebody should buy this 3000 boomplay gift card @2k |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 4:56pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
tensazangetsu20:Those who are instead in marriages are shared by both partners indeed have it easier than the "African husbands" out there who think they earn hero status by carrying it all on their heads. In today's economic climate, marriage continues to make sense. Having two sources of income, where both partners work and contribute to the household bills, upkeep etc., makes more sense than being single and going it all alone. Indeed two heads are better than one. It is until you add children, egos etc., to the equation, then it shifts.... 1 Like |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by JoyousFurnitire(m): 5:07pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
3ple9iner: This actually and if OP is so concerned he could find time to go market with his wife. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by JoyousFurnitire(m): 5:12pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
satandeterrible:
|
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by tensazangetsu20(m): 5:13pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Kobojunkie: It only makes sense if the woman can pull her weight financially. Besides once kids come in, someone has to sacrifice their career to stay and raise the kids so the responsibility will still fall back on the mans head. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Kobojunkie: 5:32pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
tensazangetsu20:▪︎The "African husband" mentality makes sense in marriage for men who earn enough to bear the entire financial burden on their own without grudge or complain. We shouldn't forget that no one is forced into marriage of this kind against their own will. ▪︎ in the case that both partners earn and contribute their fair share to finances and upkeep, it also makes sense since with two sources of income, the burden is reduced on both of them. Now, when kids show up, the choice to give up on career depends on the decisions and choices made by the couple. More and more neither the woman or the man have need to give up on career when children arrive as there are better ways to handle such changes from having family care for the kids, one partner or both working from home, or even taking advantage of available child daycare facilities. So, depending on choices made, these things don't have to fall on the man unless he makes the choice to have it as such. So the statement in bold is only true if and when, again, the man chooses to carry it all alone. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by lilyheaven: 5:49pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
When someone salary is 35k, Another cannot manage 80k. Some women are like that. I have a neighbor, she will leave her generator on from 6pm to 9am.. even if Nepa bring light, she will tell you she doesn’t have strength to switch off gen. To cook soup they will eat for three days, she will need 20k Her husband was complaining to me, to teach her home management, but when I met her mom, I found out where water follow enter boat. Her husband needs not to complain, but to reduce the amount. satandeterrible: 3 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by satandeterrible: 6:03pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
lilyheaven:Balderdash. The woman is certainly over stressing her husband. What's worse? She doesn't even contribute a dime to the household financially. Yet she wants to live way above her standards Standards that her parents couldn't provide for her. Now she wants to kill the young man before his time. And we should applaud her for that? You no get talk Oga. |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by gammarays1: 6:04pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
NOETHNICITY:Good to learn from someone's experience. However, I'll advise you to do the following. 1. Since you're bearing 100% financial burden of your family, I suggest you find another source of income that'll be covering all or part of your home monthly expenses. Do this early before it becomes late. You've already set a high standard of expenses in your family and there'll be chaos if your source of income takes a hit. 2. I suspect your wife has same high expenses so she may spend on other stuffs. If she doesn't have any source of income, sort this out. 3. You need to enforce some rules i.e. tell her to make a budget for monthly expenses, negotiate and insist she sticks to the budget. 4. Never bring yourself to going to market to purchase things yourself. Don't add another stress to the one you're bearing already. Man's duty is to provide finance and direct the family while the woman manages the family i.e. taking care of the family with the money provided by the man. You're really trying, so many families here live below the budget and expenses you provide. May your days be fruitful! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by Nobody: 6:07pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Kobojunkie:if u like preach from now till 100yrs to come, a typical NIGERIAN MAN doesn't joke with their 'HEAD OF THE FAMILY' title. 2 Likes |
Re: Is This Monthly Budget Supposed To Be Enough For My Family by lilyheaven: 6:24pm On Jun 24, 2022 |
Why are you throwing vawulence at me. What did I do? satandeterrible: 1 Like |
... / I Have A Problem Pls Advice / How Can I Save My Aunts Marriage? Help
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 92 |