My mother is a,loving woman, but she can be very hyper sometimes.
We are 3 in family, 2 boys 1 girl.
My father is a very calm man, sometimes i wonder how on earth did both of them get together?? Very opposite couples

Mum is hyperactive, the next minute she i calm. Fluctuating everyday

My problem
I noticed i'm more calm like my father but my last born brother is exactly like my mum.
Here is my issue
Whenever i try to talk and tell her somethings or try to bond with her.
I noticed that whenever i do these mother/son interactions with her, she begins to disrespect me and treat as if im still a child.
But if i dont talk with her and only mind my business. She begins to respect me

We live in a compound, i stay in boys quaters. So i bump into her atleast twice a day.
I notice if i dont talk to her, she begins to see me as an adult and respects me.
But when i come to her to talk about things and have normal talks.
Immediately the talk is over, next thing i will hear is
Chijoke!!! Chijoke!!! Go and wash those blue bedsheets
Chijoke!! Chijoke!! Come and iron all these clothes
Chijoke!! Chijoke!! Go and make garri for your father to eat.

But if i dont talk with her and only greet her when i see her. She begins to respect me and will even knock on my door instead of shoutung my name as if i'm a child.

But deep down, i see how lonely she has becomed sonce my sister married and left home. Im the only one staying with her and pops.

I decided not to discuss and talk to her for over a month.
She now finally gives me the full respect i deserve but i feel she is becoming very lonely with nobody to talk to.
And i know if i start gisting with her very soon she will start that her annoying commanding behaviour and start treating me like a small boy.
What should i do?

I think you've over stayed sef. Not because of your mother's attitude, but because of your age and level. Nobody should be living with his parents at your age.

Let your mother deal with her loneliness herself, But if you like the insult you're receiving from her then I advise you stay with her and keep enduring.

JackDaAlienz:
She is a,loving woman, but she can be very hyper sometimes.
We are 3 in family, 2 boys 1 girl.
My father is a very calm man, sometimes i wonder how on earth did both of them get together?? Very opposite couples

Mum is hyperactive, the next minute she i calm. Fluctuating everyday

You’re a man , so it’s a personal decision
And every decision made in life always come with consequences.
May peace be upon your mom , big bro
May Allah touches her heart and turn her to what will make the family happy
Try to forgive her shortcomings and talk to her .
Let her know the pains you guys go through whenever she switch to the hyperactive mode

Freelane33:

You’re a man , so it’s a personal decision
And every decision made in life always come with consequences.
May peace be upon your mom , big bro
May Allah touches her heart and turn her to what will make the family happy
Try to forgive her shortcomings and talk to her .
Let her know the pains you guys go through whenever she switch to the hyperactive mode

Its so strange, like she sees and treats me as a man, When i dont talk with her often.
But when i open mouth and we gist and talk or laugh she immediately starts treating me like a small boy.
And when i distance myself from her, she starts feeling lonely.
Only My dad can tolerate her.

My case is exactly put like this
Familiarity brings Insult

Buy in my own case, the insults come from my mum.
The more i get closer to her, the more she disrespects me.
The more i avoid her, she starts respecting me.

Is there someone that experience this, how can i solve this issue with her?

Let her know her you feel bro, if she continues her behaviour just ignore her for your sanity.

Kollins11:
I think you've over stayed sef. Not because of your mother's attitude, but because of your age and level. Nobody should be living with her parents at your age.

Let your mother deal with her loneliness herself, But if you like the insult you're receiving from her then I advise you stay with her and keep enduring.

We live in a compound that has boys quaters. I live in the boys quaters.
I decided to stay with them, so as to manage our family business. As both of them have retired

Pussyassasin:
Let her know her you feel bro, if she continues her behaviour just ignore her for your sanity.

That is how she is, her mother my grandmother is also like that.
It breaks my heart seeing her sit alone by herself all day feeling lonely.
I know if i go and talk with her, it might end in quarrel or argument.
So i just mind my business and ignore her
but its hurtung me too

JackDaAlienz:

We live in a compound that has boys quaters. I live in the boys quaters.
I decided to stay with them, so as to manage our family business. As both of them have retired

Like I said, it's either you move out of your parent's house and earn more respect OR you remain at your parent's house and endure the insult.

You can rent an apartment or stay with a friend and still manage your parent's business. You can also visit your parents maybe weekends

The choice is yours. Make good choices okay.

This is such a strange post. OP, no matter how old you get, you will always be your mother's child. How is she disrespecting you? I'm genuinely curious. Is she calling you names? Is she belittling you? Is she insulting you for living in the family compound and not on your own? It seems like she's asking you to do things around the house, just like any other parent would. And she be naija. All naija parents raise their voices when calling out for their children. Does this justify you 'disowning' your mother? Someone who bore you?

Abeg, you're living in your parents' house rent-free with meals and essential amenities provided. If she bothers you that much, just leave.

R

He grew up with his Aunt, she was like a foster mother to him. He literally did all house chores. He finished schooling, got a job and has been leaving a distance from the family he grew up with.
Whenever he visits, the Aunt will asks...or rather put...beg him to sweep her room, change her bedspreads or iron a few clothes. He still does that. Respect is still intact. I noticed that when he does it, the Aunt would happily be telling the younger ones around to learn.
He is 30 years now or thereabouts.
He is my colleague at work.

Irrespective of how matured you are, there are some persons that will still wish you did some minor things for them depending on how you stayed with them...even when there maybe other younger ones around.
Who knows, perhaps you are the only one who does it to their satisfaction.

That's the only part I wish to contribute to.
As for the demeaning part, I have nothing to say. It is a family matter.

iRepNaija1:
This is such a strange post. OP, no matter how old you get, you will always be your mother's child. How is she disrespecting you? I'm genuinely curious. Is she calling you names? Is she belittling you? Is she insulting you for living in the family compound and not on your own? It seems like she's asking you to do things around the house, just like any other parent would. And she be naija. All naija parents raise their voices when calling out for their children. Does this justify you 'disowning' your mother? Someone who bore you?

Abeg, you're living in your parents' house rent-free with meals and essential amenities provided. If she bothers you that much, just leave.

periodt

my dear, she's neither belittling nor disrespecting you.

it is obvious that you were the calm and obedient child from day one, and that is the person she still sees.
she holds you very close to her heart.

I'll advise you take time to do some chores for her even before she asks - after all,na your mama we dey talk about here.

oya go and wash plates