I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On (1300 Views)
After 12 Round And Ur Bae Still Need More...pic / Why Do Very Beautiful Girls Make This Mistake??? / I Slept With My Boss Recently By Mistake But Now I Am.... (2) (3) (4)
| I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 9:52am On Jul 27, 2011 |
Call me dumb if you care, but just advice because guy man dey tight corner. This is my story: 1. I am guy about to get married to someone i have known for 4 years ( 2 years dating). 2.Got involved with another lady last year who "unfortunately" is a neighbour but called it off when our differences started showing up. 3. My fiancee at some point suspects and decided to ask me if i had anything with this lady. i denied. 4. on starting counselling i confided in the pastor that i briefly dated a neighbour and pastor says i must confess to my fiancee and ensure everything starts on a clean slate. This i did and since then wahala don start. 5. We are going ahead with the planned wedding but finacee says , there should not be any trace that i even say hi to this other lady and that i should arrange to move out of the neighbourhood. Moving out is not an option for now because i no fit use 2m dey look for house because baby no wan see somebody face. 6. ADVICE please, how do i handle this? |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by 190: 9:54am On Jul 27, 2011 |
Ask pastor to give you 2M He got you in this mess He gets you out  |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 9:56am On Jul 27, 2011 |
^^^^ sincerely i dey regret say i confess no be lie. but your advice funny sha |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by 190: 10:00am On Jul 27, 2011 |
 all these pastor pastor wahala sef - seriously - talk 2 your woman and make her understand u dont have 2M If shes willing to lend you (fine) if she isnt then she should fly afterall the deed has beeen done - or she wan come carry cane flog you  1 Like |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 10:04am On Jul 27, 2011 |
^^^^^^ You know say these "church" girls no wan hear say person make mistake. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by 190: 10:08am On Jul 27, 2011 |
^then firmly tell her you aint moving out cos of Financial issues - if she cant understand, forgive and forget and forge on with the marriage then she should pack her loads or better still go confront that neighbour and get beaten up in the process Na this kin woman you wan marry - |(Good luck)| 1 Like |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by duchess4: 10:57am On Jul 27, 2011 |
190: [color=#770077]Well said! If she feels so strongly about your moving out, then she should be ready to atmost, contribute to the house rent if need be. i understand the the fact that she might not feel comfortable knowing the other lady lives around but if she really loves you, she should try to put that behind her and forge ahead. You on the other hand my guy, have to prove to her that you really love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her. You`ve got your job cut out for you looking for ways to earn her trust!!! Goodluck man! |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by ijcurt(f): 11:34am On Jul 27, 2011 |
190:abi o.  buh its nt funny sha, i had d same experience wit dese marriage counsellors. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by kpolli(m): 3:36pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
190: Agreed |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by BABE3: 3:47pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
The pastor is not at fault. You started it. Plus the pastor only gave you an advice sef, you could have followed it or decided not to. So, it's entirely your fault. Good you told her the truth though; God answered her prayers. Now she knows she getting married to a potential douche-bag. It's left for her to decide if she wants to move on or not, and apparently she has already made her choice. So now what do you do? I really don't know. Hustle for the money na. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by ronkebp(f): 3:59pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
Follow, 190's advice, ask her to give you the money so that you can move out, if not, she should take your word for real and forget what has happened, abi naa, |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by horny4u(f): 4:02pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
Its not every advice you get that you follow, and some confession are better buried deep within you, Find the 2M and start working on winning her trust, or do you want to loose her and marry 190 |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 4:45pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
BABE!: Kai, is it really that bad? why cant ladies look at the positive side of a guy being the "mugu" to open up this way?. And the real truth is the stint was mainly a phone-phone kind. The idea was just to create a fallback, just in case things did not work out well for us. Well sha while i do not have anything else to hide, and also do not plan to cheat in marriage. I must confess that i am learning this lesson of "opening up" the very hard way. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by BABE3: 4:51pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
one mopol: *smh* Look at you. Just look at you. Fallback uhn? Anyways, it's in the past. Go and sin no more. Notice that I called you a potential douchebag--?--Good. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 5:12pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
^^^^^^^^ Ok sha. Thanks anyway. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Scooby1(m): 7:01pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
Poster try and resolve the issue with ur babe before marrying her! Trust me you dont want to end up like this dude in the pic
|
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by 190: 7:19pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
horny4u: |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Godmother(f): 7:42pm On Jul 27, 2011 |
Scooby1: Lol. Nice pix |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Mynd44: 5:54am On Jul 28, 2011 |
Guy I don't pity you at all. But your girl self, she wan kill you |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Nobody: 8:52am On Jul 28, 2011 |
moving out of that neighborhood is not an option even if you have the money otherwise be prepared to move again and again and again, if she is not ready to forgive and forget then she is not ready to marry you. never give her the impression that you she can always have her way. on the other hand what kind of person is the said neighbor, did she still have her eyes on you.is your wife going to be safe with her around, you don't want harm to come to your wife or do you? |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Niiade(m): 11:37am On Jul 28, 2011 |
well first points first, you need to gain her trust again, cus i dont know, how would you feel if you were living close to her ex she had while dating you? would you be able to leave her at home knowing he is next door? beside na you cus am o, if you can afford to move, move to a better place, if you cant try to gain her trust back n show her you wont be dealing with ur ex bro. if she doesnt take any of this bro well you well don full with water. enjoy |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 4:45pm On Jul 28, 2011 |
Niiade: Got your point. But na things like this people use dey say the truth is bitter. Na me confess myself into trouble. Never really envisaged this could get so complicated anyway. Moving out is not an option, the way dis economy be now, it will not be smart of me to spend that amount of money on new accomodation. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by livedit(f): 6:21pm On Jul 28, 2011 |
Let's face it, YOU cheated and YOU lied and it's going to take TIME for her to get past this. Yes, she should forgive you, but forgetting takes time. Asking you to move is a bit absurd, but obviously she feels very uncomfortable trying to start a new life with her new husband right next door to his ex-lover he cheated with. That's a hard pill to swallow each and every day. But at the same time. You moving isn't going to change the fact that you cheated. Moving doesn't mean that you won't cheat again (with someone or even the same gal for that matter). You can't run from your past. What you did was wrong and I'm sure she appreciates you being honest enough to tell her. But because of what you did, there is STILL going to be repercussions. Besides, how would you feel if the roles were reversed? Anyway, if it will be a financial burden for you two to move then she will just have to deal with it and keep working on trusting you again. You betrayed her. This is something you both will have to deal with for the rest of your lives. You can't expect a quick confession and no consequences. You did the crime and you have to do the time. If this is the one you truly love and want to make things right, then you need to do whatever (within reasonable means) to convince her you are changed and can be trusted again. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 6:25pm On Jul 28, 2011 |
^^^^^^^^ TRUE. But seeing all these posts seem to make the problem appear bigger than when i started the thread. I really need grace. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by omega25red(m): 6:36pm On Jul 28, 2011 |
you made your bed now lay in it  190:i like this idea though! |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Niiade(m): 11:24am On Jul 29, 2011 |
thats gonna be hard Never really envisaged this could get so complicated anyway what did you expect would happen that you would keep it secret all your life. the issue is now the full ish is out and Moving out is not an option so its time to deal with it. first question do you truly still want her has a wife? second are you ready to go thru the hurdles of getting her to trust you? third you have to take some down time for her cus she needs you to be there for her now she that she is hurt? and man she loves you from how it played out, sit her down n say what your heart tells you. be truthful to her she deserves it very much now Goodluck and happy married life. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Emmadgud(m): 1:20pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
One mopol,u should hv taken her wit u 2 d pastor n confess. Since it is like this, still take her wit u n see ur pastor let him amend things dat HE spoiled. But talk 2 pastor 1st,cos l am sensing that ur woman want 2 be secured wit d man he want 2 marry. so man if u really want 2 spend ur entire life wit this lady try n fix d trust back urself only n only if u re sure dat this lady hv a sincere luv 4 u, GUDLUCK AS U TRY UR BEST, |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by Emmadgud(m): 1:31pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
One mopol,u should hv taken her wit u 2 d pastor n confess. Since it is like this, still take her wit u n see ur pastor let him amend things dat HE spoiled. But talk 2 pastor 1st,cos l am sensing that ur woman want 2 be secured wit d man he want 2 marry. so man if u really want 2 spend ur entire life wit this lady try n fix d trust back urself only n only if u re sure dat this lady hv a sincere luv 4 u, GUDLUCK AS U TRY UR BEST, |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by i1: 2:47pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
one mopol, aka one man army. well you in it sha, 1st why did you cheat on her? well if the underlying issues are still there then man sorry to tell you, you are gonna cheat on her again. forget all the blah blah about getting a new crib, location doesnt matter. as for your pastor well he should get ready to advise you when you go astray again. as for ur madam, well una wan marry shebi? make she fork out at least 800k for the rent, she wan make you pay at least 2m 4 wedding, and becus you look woman pay for anoda house, mehn is she serious? |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by kanayo74(m): 3:04pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
@ poster, it is not everything you tell a woman or even your pastor. you only tell them things that will no cause more issues for you. will she tell you that she is faithful or what? if she cant forgive hope she can forget the marriage. |
| Re: I Made This Mistake But Still Need Advice To Move On by onemopol: 5:49pm On Jul 29, 2011 |
i.: The cheating was not really planned. Started by seeing a smart babe in the neighbourhood and by some occurences, WE got talking. I have a small problem say stories plenty for my mouth. Being someone i see around often, i never knew that i probably was passing the wrong message to this other lady that i was probably still available. i only sensed that she somehow liked being around when i was chatting with other guys in matters like politics,football and general life issues and e be like say i sabi make people laugh small. For respect for this other lady i will not give full details of how it turned full romance(i have explained that to my fiancee). Somehow i let down my guard, maybe because i was feeling that since i had not committed to my fiancee, i should not shortchange myself by limiting my options. This relationship was almost an entirely "holy" one (phones and general gisting) except for ONCE that i allowed my "body" to rule. I somehow understand my fiancees concern because our transaction is being done on pure church "no testing" level . Infact at that time she no even allow me kiss. Lol. Only say she don dey allow me kiss small small now. So when pastor ask me say[b] "Is there anything you know you have done that if revealed later will affect your marriage"? Fear just catch me na so i open up to pastor.[/b] (mind you this was 3 months after i had called off the relationship with this other girl not as if it was this confession that made me stop. i stopped one my own with full consent of both parties). He(pastor) then said no problem but that i should make it open to my fiancee before going ahead, that if she can forgive me, then we should go ahead, but if she cant find a place in her heart to forgive, then I should move on BUT GO AND SIN NO MORE. |
(1) (Reply)
Insecure Men Turning It On Women / Does She Really Love Me? I Need Ur Advice Pls / In Love With A Married Man!
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 54 |