When men check out other girls, it's not their fault, it's ours for being 'insecure'. When they have inappropriate relationships with other girls, it's not their own fault it's ours again for being 'insecure'. I never hear people saying to men that they should stop being so insecure, instead it's usually still the woman's fault for being a 'sl ag' or some other derogatory term. Why do we continue to let society lay the blame for these things on us? Why do we just accept that we must be 'insecure' and try and fix ourselves when it's the guys who have the problem?

Obviously I know that there are anomalies and not all men/women do this but this blame culture is very prevalent in our society, and it feels as though i'm the only one who will not take the blame for something which I don't feel I'm wrong about.

Before anybody jumps to any ironic conclusions, I am not a jealous girl and do not have these problems in my own relationship with my boyfriend, we are both very considerate of each-other, so it is by no means a personal anger issue, just an intrigue into my observations about the different treatment of men and women as per their behavior.

Insecurity is found among both men and women.

you asked a good question in the first paragraph but I want to reply with another question. Why allow yourself to feel what the society expects you to feel, in this case insecure? why take blame?
No 2 relationships are the same so you can't go on applying one general term, the society uses to describe a certain scenario.
Society has its standards which keep fluctuating.If u try to compete you will end up breaking cz u just can't measure up or keep up with the pace.
Learn to chew the meat and do away with the bones of the society cz not everything thrown at us is beneficial.
Will gv u a nice eg, this forum is like a nl society. You read threads daily where people label others ugly and as a result end up causing unnecessary online outbursts.
But question is ammy, do u feel ugly cz smbody called everybody on nl ugly? you ammy are a beautiful girl but if 3/4 of the nl society calls you ugly,you don't have to let that affect ur way of thinking or destroy ur ego. Live happily cz u know your worth both inside and outside.
so do not conform to outside set standards all the time,but allow the outside to conform to your standard.

Misandry!

Ammyng:

When men check out other girls, it's not their fault, it's ours for being 'insecure'. When they have inappropriate relationships with other girls, it's not their own fault it's ours again for being 'insecure'. I never hear people saying to men that they should stop being so insecure, instead it's usually still the woman's fault for being a 'sl ag' or some other derogatory term. Why do we continue to let society lay the blame for these things on us? Why do we just accept that we must be 'insecure' and try and fix ourselves when it's the guys who have the problem?

You said the key words, Why do we allow society to label us?  Why do you?  It is a question we as women need to answer for ourselves.  Society doesn't define you, you do.  This is what I have noticed on Nairaland/Offline that most people who are insecure doesn't like confident and secure people.  It reminds them of what they yearns to be and it hurts them to their core that they can't be secure with themselves. 

People praises you more when you are down and out, but people throw dirt and spit when you hold your head up high and go against the grain.  You have to be strong and know your worth. 

Intelligent people and those of substances wouldn't even allow a mob to dictate their lives.  Don't let a mob tell you how YOU SHOULD be a woman/human.

Mrs, Chima:

You said the key words, Why do we allow society to label us? Why do you? It is a question we as women need to answer for ourselves. Society doesn't define you, you do. This is what I have noticed on Nairaland/Offline that most people who are insecure doesn't like confident and secure people. It reminds them of what they yearns to be and it hurts them to their core that they can't be secure with themselves.

People praises you more when you are down and out, but people throw dirt and spit when you hold your head up high and go against the grain. You have to be strong and know your worth.

Intelligent people and those of substances wouldn't even allow a mob to dictate their lives. Don't let a mob tell you how YOU SHOULD be a woman/human.

True talk

Sure much men don't feel insecure like women.

This goes to show I'm Martian afterall as I'm clueless here.

Mrs, Chima:

You said the key words, Why do we allow society to label us?  Why do you?  It is a question we as women need to answer for ourselves.  Society doesn't define you, you do.  This is what I have noticed on Nairaland/Offline that most people who are insecure doesn't like confident and secure people.  It reminds them of what they yearns to be and it hurts them to their core that they can't be secure with themselves. 

People praises you more when you are down and out, but people throw dirt and spit when you hold your head up high and go against the grain.  You have to be strong and know your worth. 

Intelligent people and those of substances wouldn't even allow a mob to dictate their lives.  Don't let a mob tell you how YOU SHOULD be a woman/human. 

pendo89:

you asked a good question in the first paragraph but I want to reply with another question. Why allow yourself to feel what the society expects you to feel, in this case insecure? why take blame?
No 2 relationships are the same so you can't go on applying one general term, the society uses to describe a certain scenario.
Society has its standards which keep fluctuating.If u try to compete you will end up breaking cz u just can't measure up or keep up with the pace.
Learn to chew the meat and do away with the bones of the society cz not everything thrown at us is beneficial.
Will gv u a nice eg, this forum is like a nl society. You read threads daily where people label others ugly and as a result end up causing unnecessary online outbursts.
But question is ammy, do u feel ugly cz smbody called everybody on nl ugly? you ammy are a beautiful girl but if 3/4 of the nl society calls you ugly,you don't have to let that affect ur way of thinking or destroy ur ego. Live happily cz u know your worth both inside and outside.
so do not conform to outside set standards all the time,but allow the outside to conform to your standard.

Not all men act the same when insecure. Just like not all women act the same when insecure. I know some that get oversensitive and some that hide behind a false macho bravado. If someone is insecure you cannot hand-feed them confidence, it is something they have to find on their own. You can suggest different confidence building strategies or just respect them, acknowledge when they do something good and remind them of accomplishments they should be proud of, but that is not sure-fire. The only person you can change is you (me)