Hello guys, i need a little advice concerning my relationship. Been dating my fiance for over two years now and we re planning to get married in some months time. The thing is, i am not too sure if i want to be with him forever. i love him so much. I have dated in the past but it seem i never loved none compared to him. We share everything. Secretes, future plans and so on. Am just not ready to be a wife maybe because neither mom nor dad had sat me down to talk to me abt the word WIFE or HUSBAND. Maybe because they had me out of wedlock. They moved on afterwards nd left me hanging. Never really knew what love was until i met my man. Well, guess i never loved my exes. I live Abroad nd d first time i came to 9ja 4 a visit i met him after series of heartbreaks.



Anyways, the sad news is, i love dis dude but once in a while i think of my exes. Not because i wish to go bck to them. But the memories of them wont just disappear from my head. Should i say because they hurt me so deeply? I really dont know if its a bad thing or a good thing, Nd yeah! d worse is, once in a while i visualize myself being with other guys. I lack nothing in my relationship. He is tall, dark and, ops! cute. Am really confused. Is it that am not ready yet? or what? but i love dis man nd i ve never cheated on him. When it comes to life, i ve seen it all. Made all d mistakes. But! i need help. .

@OP: You don't need any help. You life is your own decision to make, don't blame your parents or whatever for what is happening today, your decisions have brought you to the present and will take you to the future. Marriage is an over-hyped concept these days, but if you want to go into it then do so. Just remember, "love" never helps a marriage succeed, mutual compatibility and perseverance does, Good luck!

@OP-- I think you need to work on yourself first, maybe you didnt give yourself much time to pick up your pieces before you started with this your new guy. The thing is this, it is normal to feel the way you are feeling and the fact that the date for the marriage is getting closer, the tension will always be high so its normal. But if you actually see yourself being with other guys, then that calls for serious concern cos you will surely do that, its just a matter of time and that could be detrimental to your marriage. Take a trip and go on vacation somewhere cool, you might just rediscover yourself.

Don't marry if you're not ready. Is your finance an ugly man ?

@ Obowunmi, he is a fine man

@swtme123

I think you really missed family life. There could be a problem if you don`t do anything now and rush into the marriage. You know what you want but scared of it. Go out and visit some family (both old and new ones) for the purpose of knowing what family life is like, am sure you will learn one or two things from them. Then you will know if you really want that kind of setting or would prefer to stay single till death.

Also try watching family movies and the likes. Family life has it pros and cons. Anyone going into it must really be prepared for it. Take your time and get prepared or else you become a pain in your innocent partner`s neck.

OP ; how old are you ?

@poster
there is too little to go about to try to give you an advice BUT ONE THING IS SURE: you should NOT marry someone you are not 150% sure of OR go into marriage 50/50. marriage is a 110% thingy so i suggest you work on whatever is troubling you.

talk with your man and let him know exactly how you feel, if he is THE ONE he will definitely understand and try to put all these worries to rest.
good luck.

thinking about your exes will only destroy your love and happiness for your current innocent guy.
let go of the past and face the future squarely, give all your best to this guy and be determined.

poster its not an issue. . . ur a normal girl. . . confused like the rest. . . . . #okbye

poster

you sound like everyone out here. Your situation is not different from most people who are finally getting to that stage of possible marriage and having cold feet most especially since they have had lots of bad luck relationship wise.

Talk to your man about your fears which would at least give him a chance to prove to you that he is the one for you or since you live abroad go see a professional so you can talk about your feelings and possibly get a very good insight as to why you feel the way you do.

So many good advises from posters above,what more can i say,

well OP,i wish you had spent sometime with your family,that would have helped to groom you,and placed you,
in a more stronger hold,but nevertheless,give yourself sometime before settling down with your fiancé.It is obvious you love him,and you would
n't wanna see him hurt,so why not let the past remain in the past,because the past is something none of us,can let go of,but can
always be controlled by our mind. good luck.

I see u're scare of the unknown in, family life, that's normal.giv urself a litle break go study family life then resume(just lyk if u hav nt writen a particular exam b4, u're boun to be nervous).finaly pray about it

I appreciate everyone's comments and at Obowunmi am in my mid 20s. Yes i talked to him about all my fears. He was a bit at edge, saying that am loving him nd thinking abt another in my heart. I told him that, i guess its my flaws and i appreciate myself 4 telling him. I could keep it from him, get married nd things turn out sour. @ Ournaija, i will do just that. Thank u so much.