HRHQueenPhil:


What do u tink Nigerians are doing abroad?
Many Nigerians will do it as far as u take care of them

HRHQueenPhil:


We are not fighting and you are matured so behave like one and don't write in capital letter

Nozino:



I love this energy

Kingkum:
@H0711

I am still advising you not to leave your marriage unless there is another thing you are not telling us. i wish i can have your husband contact to tell him the following options.

1. he should send that baby to his ancestors.

2. he should hire an individual to care for the baby.

3. he should beg the mother of the girl to take her back with a promise of sending money always as agreed between them.

i repeat, don't leave your marriage if you think you have a future with your husband.

pregnant women don't use to think straight and your thoughts might be influenced by your pregnancy to take a quick decision that you may regret later. this is where i intend to come in, i can take care of the child in your house till you give birth(with condition though) and if after birth you still want to go, then you should divorce and leave in peace. i should have say more but answer this questions first before i continue

HRHQueenPhil:


Oh pls, everyone can fast ..it's d effort that counts with GOD even if it's still 12 or 3pm the child needs all d help she can get spiritually

Ignatio:


Sounds easy when you're not wearing the shoe. Honestly answer, Will you do same if you're in her position?

Nozino:



So you want a 7month pregnant woman to fast? I saw your initial post and assumed you missed that part. When you were pregnant, were you starving your kids of the required nutrient a child needs for development?

Your life must be really sad.

justiz5:

Let me tell you the truth, that woman will never enjoy the sanity of her life if that Child continues to stay with her. Whether a nanny is provided to give support or not.
This is insane.

The best thing to do is for the husband to take the Child away from their home. Even if the Child had no physical disability, it would still be very insensitive and disrespectful for the man to bring this Child under the same roof, a Child he told the wife nothing about.

HRHQueenPhil:
yours must be pathetic wen u only tink about yourself ...who said anything abt fasting everyday?

Nozino:


So the father or his family should do it na. The mother has tried. It is his turn. Not OPs turn, his turn.

author=ImaIma1 post=115253152]

Righteous one calm down! You sound like you are perfect in all your ways, without blemish, without faults or ability to faulter

It's obvious that the man carefully hid that information for obvious reasons. Cerebral palsy is not child's play. Something that a doctor friend told me that parents are usually advised to eliminate the child at birth.

When I go for immunization, I see such kids. I think only their mother or a paid staff can have that kind of strength and attention for them. A 7 month pregnant woman taking care of such a child alone is almost a death sentence.

Please have some empathy. We always feel we are right and judge harshly till im in the same situation.

HRHQueenPhil:
yeah, that's marriage. There is no OP and the father.. they are husband and wife and it's both their responsibility

HRHQueenPhil:


I will gladly do same if my man and I can come up with a solution that works for everyone..
In fact, if I had the money,I will pay the maid to take care of the child solely ..that's my way..

Bobmarie:
You are mentally unstable.

Seek help.

justiz5:

Stop replying that old dem,,,on and heartless soul. It will worsen your psychological state of mind and affect your health too.

cc; Blessedmercy8:

justiz5:

When I see people with this your heartless mentality, I just pray to God to push you to find yourself or Children in such conditions so that we can assess how you will handle it.

H0711:


God forbid bad things but for my own child I will never get tired of him I will love him no matter what but for someone else child in that condition I won't. The worse is he didn't tell me from the onset maybe if he had told me I would have accepted her and be prepared but I wasn't prepared and I can't do it.

H0711:




Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.

oazeez1991:
It's obvious you've made up your mind already, and no amount of words could have you change your mind unless you choose to. Moreover, you are right to feel the way you are feeling right now. In fact, you are justify to feel that way. We are all human, blood runs in our vein. What your husband did by not getting you inform from the get go is a totally wrong. He wasn't been fair with his dealing with you from start. But trust me, he did what he did i.e. hiding such sensitive matter from you cos he was afraid to lose you. He felt for the one who birth the child in question to not want to take up responsibility of raising him/her, how would someone who wasn't a part of it accept to? I understand and could resonate with his (your husband) fear, but he was being insensitive about how he deals with it. He forget that no matter how far lie goes, truth would one day caught up with it. Maybe he doesn't want to get you involve with the child all along, hence, his reason for keeping it away from you, not knowing there is no escape route to such reality.

The child in question is just the victim here. He/she didn't ask to be birth, atleast not into a family that would abandon him/her, but life do happen.

How you get to be in such marriage before finding out about such revelation is a destiny you just have to accept.

From one of your response, you claim should it's your child (I forbid it for you) that is the way the one in question is, you will treat him/her accordingly. It won't be easy and it's already evidence it has not been, but you can always treat that child as your own.

The main issue I see here is financial incapability. Had it been your husband is well to do, the situation would have been rosily handle, but the case is different.

Do what you wanna do, but give it a second thought. Divorce isn't the way forward.

H0711:


Unfortunately he can't afford to take the child anywhere. his younger sister has refused to come and help and I can't do it too. Being a single mother is not a death sentence I rather leave than carrying a burden which I didn't agreed for.first of all he didn't tell me anything about the child and her condition and why would I have to stay and suffer taking care of her including my own baby who will be born in 2 months time. If another woman would be happy to come and take care of the child is not my problem I wish her all the best.

Blessedmercy8:


Yes @ bold by God's grace. Anyone can be if they embrace God's grace.

All I'm simply against is her leaving her marriage just under two months. She can't even endure a little and weather the storm with the man for a while.
Her insensitivity is what is making sound like that.

Nozino:
I’m going away from this thread. If I come back and meet mad people advising OP to do something they can’t do in their life, Una go collect when I return.

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Ninisun:




Make we hear word! As if marriage is a golden prize. Your comment sounds like that of a teenager. OP runnnnnnn!

H0711:


Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and my head want to explode and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

Killermamba:


Madam connect to NSPPD With pastor jerry eze every Morning and see how God will restore that child.

PHOTSEE:
Op