Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

Are u currently married to another woman?

Go and see your little Angel please.

Since u are open to her coming back, u can talk to her to consider returning home for the sake of the little girl and you too try to be a better person.

Your daughter would likely be attracted to your types and likes. It is a huge sacrifice worth it for your little girl.

Sominablack:
Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere.

Sominablack:
Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

i dont see your issue here unless if you
are already married to someone else whereby she will feel insecure by you travelling to see your daughter, but you said she moved away 3 months ago which i doubt you remarried

So travel and see your daughter simple,

Mrsoft3:


Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue.

What are your reasons or experiences going for child visit?


.

Mrsoft3:


Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue.

That you are having the same issues does not mean your family's dynamics is same as the OP's.

You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

Mrsoft3:


Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue.

Aahh another wahala from another angle

doggedfighter:


What are your reasons or experiences going for child visit?


.

Why did she leave in the first place?
It's holiday season and it's right for the child to go spend time with her father,why insisting he comes and stay with them? When she left in the first place?

There is insecurities on the road but the father should take the risk?

Mindlog:


That you are having the same issues does not mean your family's dynamics is same as the OP's.

I never said it is the same, but did you read what the original poster said?

She wants him to come over and stay with them, why did she leave just like that? She talked about insecurities on the road but the man should take the risk she won't take the risk of dropping the child with her own parents so he can easily see his daughter. When people talk about experience doesn't mean we are saying it's the same, there are similarities in situations like this.

OlawaleBammie:
Aahh another wahala from another angle

Some ladies just take some action without considering the consequences, they are greedy and only care about themselves, they don't even weigh their chances when it comes to some fight. It is wise to choose your fight well, not every fight is winnable.
Imagine just like that she left the house, what about the child's education? What about the father figure the child needs? What about the father love? Why taking such decisions when it would affect them this way?

Mrsoft3:


Why did she leave in the first place?
It's holiday season and it's right for the child to go spend time with her father,why insisting he comes and stay with them? When she left in the first place?

There is insecurities on the road but the father should take the risk?

Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue



You made at the bolded statement.

You are asked to explain why he shouldn't based on your first hand experience which may not even be the same and may no apply to Op's case.

Since you are bold enough to issue a warning on why he should not go.

Instead of making a point you started twisting and turning by asking unnecessary questions and turning it into a battle of the sexes.

People just want to learn from your perspective .

Mrsoft3:



Some ladies just take some action without considering the consequences, they are greedy and only care about themselves, they don't even weigh their chances when it comes to some fight. It is wise to choose your fight well, not every fight is winnable.
Imagine just like that she left the house, what about the child's education? What about the father figure the child needs? What about the father love? Why taking such decisions when it would affect them this way?

and after everything they wil stil be telling the child that your father abandoned you since wen u were a toddler.

Awon oloriburuku eni adanu

OlawaleBammie:
and after everything they wil stil be telling the child that your father abandoned you since wen u were a toddler.

Awon oloriburuku eni adanu

You are just bitter from your experience and not giving the Op any advice or suggestions.

doggedfighter:


You are just bitter from your experience and not giving the Op any advice or suggestions.

which experience are u talking about??

My mama no carry me run from my papa na

Its u ladies of today that are fond of that but my advice to u is to continue.

Which advice do u want me to give op wen no woman has ever done that to me, i cant give what i dont have ok!!


If u like run comot for ur husby house with ur toddler, u go see hell, i promise u that

Sominablack:
Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

You and your wife are the only ones that truly know what your marriage has been like and I have no business probing into that direction.

Should your marriage end up in a divorce after you both have explored chances of reconciliation, in all you do NEVER EvER cut off from your daughter as there is need for you both to work out a workable co-parenting , where you both would set aside hurtful feelings generated by the other and focus on the wellbeing of the daughter you both share and that means you are tied to each other for life even if you both move one with other people.

Visitations need to be properly discussed and how to go about it, your daughter must be involved as you all factor in the security situation on the Nigerian roads which is being bedeviled by kidnapping and killings.

While you both sort out things, regularly have video calls with your daughter.....it helps.

OlawaleBammie:
and after everything they wil stil be telling the child that your father abandoned you since wen u were a toddler.

Awon oloriburuku eni adanu

Imagine that level of bewitchment. Honestly most people don't really know what men face at home, this idea ladies have towards their self and only their self is just not helpful

doggedfighter:



Do not go anywhere I repeat don't go anywhere, take this from a man with same issue



You made at the bolded statement.

You are asked to explain why he shouldn't based on your first hand experience which may not even be the same and may no apply to Op's case.

Since you are bold enough to issue a warning on why he should not go.

Instead of making a point you started twisting and turning by asking unnecessary questions and turning it into a battle of the sexes.

People just want to learn from your perspective .

Well I am not turning this into any battle, you see that question I asked therein lies the answer to everything, I wish the op can answer maybe just maybe it will become glaring.

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

you are putting your own version of things, so far the child has not been used as weapon, its 3months aftern wife has moved

why should he rush to marry and have kids ? or marry a young wife does that solve the issue of the child ?

All he needs to do is go there book a hotel and see his daughter ( assume its town or city )

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

That a relationship/marriage ended and the child is with the mother, does not absolve the father of the child from providing for their child as they both work out on how to go about co-parenting , unless you can cite any law within Nigeria that backs your position on abandonment

Remarrying to have children with another woman in order to "name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s)" is a clear indication of mental health issues without the need for mental status examination.

Oga, if you really love your child, you would go and see her.

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

please read again, digest what you have written down and tell me why you wrote this.

Katier00:
please read again, digest what you have written down and tell me why you wrote this.

its a common mindset of most african men one they seperate from the mother, most forget about the welfare of the child, most men try to play the judge and jury. Whereby they say "if i send the money she will eat it with her new man etc," whether she will eat or not, its the people around you and her that will judge her not yourself. You just have to do what you are supposed to do unless in extreme cases whereby the mother is putting the child in danger eg drinking and on drugs all the time

Let the child know love even when parents are separated those visits are important they keep the spirit of child very high than not knowing the other parent at all

And usually the way the missing parent treats the child is the same way the new partner will treat child eg if the missing parent doesnt care and show love to child the new man in the mother's life wont care much too either it would be to the mother to make child important to the new man. But if the missing parent does regular visits to his own child, the new man will know that he care is also being monitored and reduces changes of abuse in any form

You have a lovely little angel and you are here asking if you should go see her or not.

If I were you, I can't even imagine a life without my daughter. There's something about little kids that makes me soft especially baby girls.

I beg you, go see her and spend some quality time with her no matter what it takes.

Women don dey carry children for Nigeria?

if she left without reason(s), fine. do video call with your girl, find time to go visit your daughter, I advise you don't go alone and afterward, tel her you want to return with your girl to spend the holidays with you. you can tell her that before you travel and dont take no as an answer unless you're not keen on spending the holidays with her.
she probably want to use the child to draw you but since you didn't ask her to leave in the first place when she is tired she know her way back provided every other thing is fine and she didn't leave because her life is in danger.

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

oga sir, you don't transfer the sin of the mother to that child. Fine, the mother acted without considering the Dota.
For you to say because the mother left without his permission absolve him of takin care of his own Dota is wrong.

Na the father and mother get issue not the daughter. Even if he refuse to send upkeep to the wife such decision shouldn't affect the Dota's welfare.

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

What will we not read on this Nairaland

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

na so your papa take do your mama? Omo, this your comment wicked pass devil

You made a good point, my only issue is spelling daughter as 'dota' � on a public forum at that.

gerizzim:


oga sir, you don't transfer the sin of the mother to that child. Fine, the mother acted without considering the Dota.
For you to say because the mother left without his permission absolve him of takin care of his own Dota is wrong.

Na the father and mother get issue not the daughter. Even if he refuse to send upkeep to the wife such decision shouldn't affect the Dota's welfare.