Kobojunkie:
You said her only job to him should be sex and food... meaning she abandon everything else and exist for that purpose alone, abi?

You claim it is family first as if you are blind to fact that family does not work if there is no steady source of income to make sure family is properly cared for. You claim family first when there are many men out unable to adequately provide for their families and quick to shove the blame at their wives who do no work outside of the home?

You have a man and a woman, both of them working, and she is already carrying a lot on her plate, this while her husband carries less on his plate. Yet you still demand the woman sacrifice even more for his ego's sake, why? Why not ask the man to get his head and ego checked to be sure it is in the right order to begin with?

I don't understand your argument. Should the woman deny her husband sexxx and food because she is working? The guy is trying to communicate to her to prioritize sexx and food for him, is that a big thing to ask? Oya na priotize your work, don't worry I will find my way out... Na waiting dey spoil marriage. If she is so much a workaholic why get married. Why not just remain Linda ikeji and have your babies. Man sacrificed everything to ask you to be sleeping with him all night with marriage in order to avoid these jezebels on the street and you agreed like there is no problem now she is defaulting the agreement and you expect the man not to complain.

Raxxye:

So you know for sure that he has an outdoor girlfriend, you know the girlfriend and you also know she sells food!
I hope there are concrete proofs for these allegations!

What else would make a man behave that way? Don't you all advocate polygamy again?

There's only one thing that keeps a man outside, disrespectful and eating foods he claims he doesn't like: cheating. That's all that will make him talk crap at his wife.

Ask Buhari

"Be a fool so that your joy can be full" is a line I got from one story few years ago and I believe it's what makes marriage works these days.

And, while you're doing that, work on yourself, your happiness and keep pushing one day at a time.

You only fail yourself when you give up or let hurtful words get to you... Cos, you would be depressed, lost yourself and your dreams.

Patience and time heals everything, breath and take one day at a time and don't forget to be a fool so you can enjoy your marriage.

I have heard worse believe me and when I saw your thread, I am like "Well, she will pull through"

You got this, just breath and be yourself.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

My dear madam, Everything in life is diplomacy. Simply put, ability to make someone eat a giant shit sandwich and feeling happy they did.

Stop cooking moi-moi and don't justify your actions by claiming he eats it outside.

How about on such days you want to make moi-moi for the kids, you simply call the man and say:

" hey, my king, what would you have your queen serve you today" since I know you don't like xyz" ...
Don't be surprised if he asks you to make the moimoi.

Now this is very very important for all females here, especially the educated ones:

YOUR MONEY AND FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION IS NOT IMPORTANT TO A MAN. THERE IS NO MAN ON EARTH WORTH HIS DICXK, THAT CONSIDERS YOUR MONEY AS ONE OF THE REASONS HE IS MARRYING YOU.

YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO PROVIDE WHAT WE DON'T NEED AT ALL AND IT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU A MANLY, TRYING TO 'MAKE FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION TO THE MARRIAGE'. THIS IS ARRANT NONSENSE TO ANY DICK CARRYING NIGGER.

WE ARE MARRYING YOU FOR YOUR FEMINITY, RESPECT AND COORPERATION AS WE ATTEMPT TO CONQUER THE WORLD.

SEX FROM YOU IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO US AND IT IS A MAJOR REASON WE ARE MARRYING YOU

of course, I am a chauvinistic pig and a misogynist but when you ask your fathers and brothers, that is exactly what they want in a woman.

THINK WHY UNEDUCATED SUBMISSIVE WOMEN SEEM TO GET AND ENJOY THEIR MARRIAGES MORE.

wis3:
It's not like he doesn't eat moi-moi, he buys it outside but dislikes it when it is prepared in the house. It's just one of those times when people just get fed up with each other for no just reason but he will come around. What she needs is to be less available for his every needs and work on her esteem and and will be well.

You're absolutely right
And it is also one of those times where entitlement takes over , one person thinks hey should be compensated for being with the other person ,

both couple be are still in the other era and if I were I'd just quit my job and spend his money since her place is in the bed and kitchen and of course the labour room

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

can i drop my number so u chat me on whatsapp?

Lalakas:

I can't see the problem in the food issue. For me, beans and moi-moi is what I make in excess and put in the freezer. When you get back from work and there's still time, pick beans up to quarter rubber. Another time you come back from work, par boil your beans till its slightly soft, sieve and pack it inside the freezer. For moi-moi, peel up to quarter rubber of beans, cook and put the rest inside the freezer. I even like cooking moi-moi on Friday so that it will be strong for eating on Saturday. Since your husband doesn't like moi-moi and beans again, you will have time to prepare fast breakfast for him and also serve your kids moi-moi or beans.

Your duty as a wife includes sex. Abi is he supposed to have sex with another woman outside? You are the only one licenced to have sex with him so what's the fuss?

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

You married a baby, you have to pet and manage him.
Breast feed him regularly and you will see him asking for moimoi.

Problem solved, don't take his words personal. He is a baby and babies talk anyhow.

Anyways I'm also a baby

nifemi25:
Why not spice up the moi moi to see his reaction....since you guys enjoyed it together before the sudden change and you sure he still buys it outside. I will advise you add boiled egg, cray fish, Titus fish and some other ingredients In other to see his reaction.... try watch for his reaction after the meal to know if to continue cooking the moi moi or not

Someone says I don't like your moimoi, stop cooking it for me

And you heard "please prepare moimoi promax plus for me"

Lalakas, I don't think it's a serious problem to bring to the internet for help. Something this little should not cause trouble in your home.

Have you even taken time to taste the moimoi hr buys outside? You should. So you'd know what's in that one that's not in yours and make amend.
Uf you can't manage an issue like this, I don't know what you'll do if there's a bigger issue. Stay focused.

Obey your husband. Your husband doesn't like moi-moi, then stop cooking it.
It's that simple.

Relationships are very difficult sometimes - in the beginning its love, and in the later part its compassion and pity and caring.

I hope your home recovers.

OriOko88:
You too should stop cooking him moi moi if he says he doesn't like it. A Yoruba adage says, A soup which d husband doesnt like,the wife doesn't cook. You can prepare d moi moi for the kids and you,then prepares his own favorite too. That's d why i don't buy the idea of making time table for food. Why must I be eating a particular food for a specified day. Take for example,why must I eat rice on Saturdays because it's what on the time table..like wtf. A man must eat varieties of food when he so desires.

I think he's frustrated by the boring foods you giving him..spice up ur food and see him change. Ask him what he would like the family to eat before cooking..ditch the food time table for nw. How many men dey eat moi moi these days??
Change ur food time table and see u having ur man back

The man may be annoying, but I don't see any serious issues with her narrative here. I don't see why she can't cook two food in any particular day. Lastly she should cook and keep in the fridge if she insists she can't cook two food in a day.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

The issue of moi moi no be problem unless you want to be unnecessarily stubborn...... The only issue I see here is him trying to limit you to a liability....... Hope you aren't condescending on your husband.

Helpout12345:
The moi-moi issue is simple. Stop giving him the house moi-moi.

The major issue is the part where he said you are only good for sex and food. On this, look for elderly men in your families with stable homes to talk senses into him. That's after you have hard an heart to heart discussions with him on the matter.

Marriage is between 2 partners working together respectively to build a home and in extension the society.

That may escalate the issues. Some people feel a certain way about the other gender. He may not change his opinion. She should just love him more. That may change his opinion about women.

These are the things i can deduce from your writeups

1. You've taken it that your children are more important than your husband

2. You don't give a damn about your husband's needs

3. Youe actions simply says "I'll continue to do what i want, not what you want, do anything you like"

See, don't let anyone lie to you, one of the greatest things you can give to your husband in marriage is Respect.

He says he doesn't like it, then don't fvcking cook it again for crying out loud

your husband comes first

When you make a man feel like he doesn't have authority in his house again, you sef will never enjoy the marriage again

shikena

Keep your money to yourself and use it to pamper yourself alone
Since he is very ungrateful by making such statement

wis3:
For man to tell woman say she's only for cooking and se.x shows he has lost whatever regards he has for her.

To be honest that statement is bad, really
demeaning. Even if is me I won't be happy o.

Somebody need to talk sense into that nigga.

As for the food aspect she should just prepare his own meal too after doing moi-moi for the kids.

There is nothing as painful to me as a husband to come home and eat what I do not like especially when I can afford what I like.

It is the her "I can't" for me.

Someone said i don't like something, you are justifying why he must like it.

Just like i told my wife a long time ago that i don't like something that she did. She came to me days later to tell me that the people she told said there was nothing wrong with what she did. WTF. Since when does people's opinion determine what i like?

The man said he doesn't like it, engage him and then see how you can work out something you both can work with.

I believe the stubbornness of "i can't " led to the things he said to you that is eating you up.

Food dey cause problem for marriage? Me wey dey go market, dey cook. Haa

OriOko88:
You too should stop cooking him moi moi if he says he doesn't like it. A Yoruba adage says, A soup which d husband doesnt like,the wife doesn't cook. You can prepare d moi moi for the kids and you,then prepares his own favorite too. That's d why i don't buy the idea of making time table for food. Why must I be eating a particular food for a specified day. Take for example,why must I eat rice on Saturdays because it's what on the time table..like wtf. A man must eat varieties of food when he so desires.

I think he's frustrated by the boring foods you giving him..spice up ur food and see him change. Ask him what he would like the family to eat before cooking..ditch the food time table for nw. How many men dey eat moi moi these days??
Change ur food time table and see u having ur man back

Helpout12345:
The moi-moi issue is simple. Stop giving him the house moi-moi.

The major issue is the part where he said you are only good for sex and food. On this, look for elderly men in your families with stable homes to talk senses into him. That's after you have hard an heart to heart discussions with him on the matter.

Marriage is between 2 partners working together respectively to build a home and in extension the society.

Bleep it never hurt a mans pride ......never do this that airing his dirty laundry imagine elders laughing over his moi moi issue the man is an archaic man so you use an arciach approach

The man is prolly cheating anyways

When unnecessary issues like this is causing problems in a marriage please forget it, and yourself happy with your kids. These men/women derives joy outside the marriage they cheat and make their partner life's miserable �� How can moimoi and beans be a problem if as she also works?! A gentle man will appreciate his woman bc it is not easy taking care of children and working.

lilioj:

Really? Why

It cracked me up noni.

Kobojunkie:
So she should deny her children moimoi because her husband, who also eats moimoi when cooked outside, says so?

Go and replace the husband...and better yet, mould a better husband for her. The way you reason is so left sided. Anybody taking advice from you is falling into a ditch.

The utterances from the man is not acceptable. But then, did the woman tell us what she told the man before he retorted in that way?. Trust a womans one-sided story at your own peril.

From the whole story..the OP must be a very stubborn and arrogant woman. Imagine saying the man isn't worth her stress. And the building which she claims to be contributing may probably be just 100k contribution..then the whole world must hear it.

If that man doesn't need your moi moi...stop giving it to him...but here you are letting us know that you will never stop because of him. Also if he buys it outside, that tells you that you arent cooking yours well.

JustforMen:


My dear madam, Everything in life is diplomacy. Simply put, ability to make someone eat a giant shit sandwich and feeling happy they did.

Stop cooking moi-moi and don't justify your actions by claiming he eats it outside.

How about on such days you want to make moi-moi for the kids, you simply call the man and say:

" hey, my king, what would you have your queen serve you today" since I know you don't like xyz" ...
Don't be surprised if he asks you to make the moimoi.

Now this is very very important for all females here, especially the educated ones:

YOUR MONEY AND FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION IS NOT IMPORTANT TO A MAN. THERE IS NO MAN ON EARTH WORTH HIS DICXK, THAT CONSIDERS YOUR MONEY AS ONE OF THE REASONS HE IS MARRYING YOU.

YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO PROVIDE WHAT WE DON'T NEED AT ALL AND IT IS SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU A MANLY, TRYING TO 'MAKE FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTION TO THE MARRIAGE'. THIS IS ARRANT NONSENSE TO ANY DICK CARRYING NIGGER.

WE ARE MARRYING YOU FOR YOUR FEMINITY, RESPECT AND COORPERATION AS WE ATTEMPT TO CONQUER THE WORLD.

SEX FROM YOU IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT TO US AND IT IS A MAJOR REASON WE ARE MARRYING YOU

of course, I am a chauvinistic pig and a misogynist but when you ask your fathers and brothers, that is exactly what they want in a woman.

THINK WHY UNEDUCATED SUBMISSIVE WOMEN SEEM TO GET AND ENJOY THEIR MARRIAGES MORE.

How you've spoken so well from your perspective is great. But who are the men saying women should also contribute to the home and when should the women stop? Because the economy is hard enough and they could use their earnings to do something else.

Emaprince:
Go and replace the husband...and better yet, mould a better husband for her. The way you reason is so left sided. Anybody taking advice from you is falling into a ditch.

Ofcourse any advice I give wouldn't make sense to folks like you who believe the world, even in marriage, ought to revolve around one.

I no blame una. Na una upbringing I blame for the situation that persists.

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

I will advise you calm down and don't allow his disrespect for women drive you nuts

Let him run his mouth as he likes, you too give him yours let him feel it

Cook moi moi and beans if you know that's your children best food and you must make another meal for him, there is no big deal there

He says that your duty is to give him sex and food

Give him food, so far he provides for the food

Give him sex if you have the urge and if you don't have the urge, then you decide

Wether he has time for you or not, just keep moving

One day he will be the one looking for you guys attension

Be happy and look good

[quote author=victorazy post=115830424]

[Smiles]
Sorry dear, when it comes to my future, the ability to predict it is not with men.
So, you're wrong with your assumption.

Kobojunkie:
Imagine that. It isn't that th woman does not have her own job and stuff to deal with outside much as the man has. If him no like the food or taste, he can simply enter the kitchen at least one day a week to cook for what is own family as well or buy moi-moi from outside so they can all eat together and see if that works for all.

Wives also like to eat their husband's food. So I don't why he cannot cook on at least one day of the week for his family. They both work so, it isn't like there is any reason why she should work and still carry it all on her head.

Over indulging and pampering of NIN guys the thing come enter their head.

It is well