Outstrip:

The only thing on the list worth talking about are the tvs and dvd players. I have broken about the same amount of things myself I am finding it very very very hard to believe that he broke 4 tvs and 6 dvd players. You simply have to give the circumstances surrounding those. Sorry I am not saying you are lying but I ust don't believe that he broke that many elctronic devices.

samtoye:

why are you women like this? sorry i am going to be frank with you - what i can only see here is you don't want anyone to live with you especially your husband's people, all those faults you listed are nothing out of the extra ordinary, @ 19 years, haba? the boy is only a teenager, all those attribute are teenager's life. My kid brother does exactly the same thing, i did same thing as a teenager, What if he is your brother? would you send him away? tolerance! learn tolerance in marriage or else you would start a fight you can't finish. Show him more love and you would get him on your side, remember he is the eye of your husband's family.

A word is enough for the wise,

chamber2:

I don't know what the problem is with young married women. This ''me and my husband'' syndrome is breaking a lot of homes. In fact this boy @ 19, has not done up to what most of us did while growing up.

Take the advise given by chaircover and samtoye

Ok, i understand your problem, you probably grew up abroad. But this is Nigeria, learn to accommodate others, especially your in-laws.

Comrade, there's are degrees of tolerance. Forget the Nigerian scenario - a 19-year-old boy should not be raising cain in his brother's home, and making his brother's wife's life a misery. It's nothing to do with growing up abroad, it's all about common sense. The average Nigerian man wants a doormat, and his family expect his wife to just sit back and watch.

You reckon this 19-year-old boy hasn't done as much as most of us did growing up? I'm not with you on that one. I didn't live with my brother, and proceed to wreck his home, or come between him and his wife. Besides, times change. What was acceptable 20 years ago certainly isn't the norm today. A mans immediate family is his wife and children, siblings are more their parent's responsibilities. I would certainly not sit back and allow my brother or sister to not only move in, but disrespect my wife, and generally give her hell. If they can't show her respect and curb their excesses, they'll have to go back to mom and dad, it's that simple. My immediate concerns are my wife and daughter.

The problem in Owu gal's home isn't her. It's her husband's, closely followed by his brother's. The husband should put his brother in his rightful place. A woman shouldn't be made to feel like an outsider in her own home. This teenage boy is clearly out of control, and if his habits (and food excesses) aren't curbed now, his brother will look back in time later on, and wonder where he went wrong.

chamber2:

In this part of the world where poverty is widespread, the only social security people have remains members of their families, be it nuclear or extended. Agreed, the excesses of in-laws should be curbed, but in this case the wife has made NO single effort to correct or report this young man to his brother. She is busy hating and feeling depressed without first doing the right thing- report or correct him first.

Owu gal:

I tried talking to him once about it, but he began to look angry at me.
I spoke to him in private about it before, but he didnt listen until[b] I mentioned it in front of his brother in his presence.[/b]

Owu gal:

I used to like this young man before when I first met him, But my like began to turn fast into distrust and now its actually a significant dislike.

chaircover:

Problems have a way of becoming as big as we let them become. The more you look and think at this situation, the more it will annoy you and wind you up.

I agree that a number of things have been broken but the question is is this deliberate; if they are genuine accidents then what can one do? . . . . . . . NOTHING . . . . . We dont like it, but Things do get broken from time to time.

The best thing to do with in-laws is to treat them like your own biological family. I agree that sometimes it is a wasted effort for some in-laws but in the majority of cases it works.

Treat him like you would treat your own brother, If you see that he is being careless with your things etc, then tell him off as appropriate at the time and move on,  otherwise it will just fester and continue to annoy you and cause resentment in you. You will be the only one angry while the person who caused the anger doesn't even know how you feel.

It is your home at the end of the day; your home is a place of relaxation and peace so don't let anyone drive you up the wall.

chamber2:

I don't know what the problem is with young married women. This ''me and my husband'' syndrome is breaking a lot of homes. In fact this boy @ 19, has not done up to what most of us did while growing up.

Take the advise given by chaircover and samtoye

Ok, i understand your problem, you probably grew up abroad. But this is Nigeria, learn to accommodate others, especially your in-laws.

samtoye:

why are you women like this? sorry i am going to be frank with you - what i can only see here is you don't want anyone to live with you especially your husband's people, all those faults you listed are nothing out of the extra ordinary, @ 19 years, haba? the boy is only a teenager, all those attribute are teenager's life. My kid brother does exactly the same thing, i did same thing as a teenager, What if he is your brother? would you send him away? tolerance! learn tolerance in marriage or else you would start a fight you can't finish. Show him more love and you would get him on your side, remember he is the eye of your husband's family.

A word is enough for the wise,

Siena:

Comrade, there's are degrees of tolerance. Forget the Nigerian scenario - a 19-year-old boy should not be raising cain in his brother's home, and making his brother's wife's life a misery. It's nothing to do with growing up abroad, it's all about common sense. The average Nigerian man wants a doormat, and his family expect his wife to just sit back and watch.

You reckon this 19-year-old boy hasn't done as much as most of us did growing up? I'm not with you on that one. I didn't live with my brother, and proceed to wreck his home, or come between him and his wife. Besides, times change. What was acceptable 20 years ago certainly isn't the norm today. A mans immediate family is his wife and children, siblings are more their parent's responsibilities. I would certainly not sit back and allow my brother or sister to not only move in, but disrespect my wife, and generally give her hell. If they can't show her respect and curb their excesses, they'll have to go back to mom and dad, it's that simple. My immediate concerns are my wife and daughter.

The problem in Owu gal's home isn't her. It's her husband's, closely followed by his brother's. The husband should put his brother in his rightful place. A woman shouldn't be made to feel like an outsider in her own home. This teenage boy is clearly out of control, and if his habits (and food excesses) aren't curbed now, his brother will look back in time later on, and wonder where he went wrong.