Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them - Romance - Nairaland
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| Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by divalishis: 11:42pm On Aug 05, 2011 |
1. If really you are a first rate virgin, then you might find s.ex very messy. A lot of fluids accompanied with musky smells are involved. Prepare yourself psychologically for the 'four S'; sweat, slimy se.men, saliva and the strong smell of s.ex especially if you're the squeamish type that can easily get irritated!    2. Get a towel or bed sheet of your own to spread on the honeymoon hotel bed (except you want to stay awake washing hotel sheets of blood stains when you should be resting).   3. Make your man get a lube before the deed is done (easily found in any pharmaceutical). It makes things a whole lot easier and reduces chances of you walking like a duck during Sunday thanksgiving.   4. Now you are married, you need to rid yourself of the notion that sex is sinful.  5. Read books that help you get better sexually. Keep the se.x dirty and your home clean!  Now, this addendum is for some men who think vaseline counts as a lubricant, hate to burst your bubble, IT IS NOT!!  |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by pendo89(f): 12:56am On Aug 06, 2011 |
'Keep the se.x dirty and your home clean!' I like that. The rest very raw. sounds like a pool of blood enough to scare a man! Then c'mmon who washes sheets during honeymoon? unless you booked into a lodging? What is room service all about? the laundry? And do people really attend early sunday mass on the morning of their Honeymoon?? really? You must have had a ducky and nasty experience |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by MrsChima(f): 12:58am On Aug 06, 2011 |
Uhmm question. Why would she need lube if she has a gland that produces lubrication upon arousal naturally? Just saying. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by MrsChima(f): 1:03am On Aug 06, 2011 |
divalishis: My responses. 1. No woman are prepared for semen, saliva, sweaty, and smelly if she never had sex. 2. Hymen are a thin skin covering over the vaginal canal. Why would she be bleeding? When have toto been known as medium rare steak? 3. Please refer to my comment above post. 4. Forceful sex is punishment. 5. Why would she read ideas from OTHERS that may not work for her? |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by divalishis: 1:20am On Aug 06, 2011 |
This was a very tongue-in-cheek write-up. Just playing around. But really, would anyone want the hotel they staying at, laundering their blood-stained sheets? And yes, some women walk like ducks after the first night and YES, new couples especially christians attend a thanksgiving service the sunday after the wedding! |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by divalishis: 1:23am On Aug 06, 2011 |
Mrs Chima. . . |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by pendo89(f): 1:25am On Aug 06, 2011 |
^^lol eish. The sunday mass is a no no. maybe next sunday or the next. the stains? you have paid the hotel so they must offer service as promised. How many things do you think they come across? worse than blood stains? now the duck part. be helped by ur maker. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by tpia5: 1:43am On Aug 06, 2011 |
this is the easy part. what about the hard part after the sex. ie married life. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by divalishis: 1:48am On Aug 06, 2011 |
@pendo89 now the duck part. Lips sealed Lips sealed @Mrs Chima A friend of mine told me lube made everything that much easier. Apart from my first hand info from her, it's a well known medical fact. The place gets dry sometimes and then, your lube comes in handy! Husbands of virgins actually need the advice since they're gonna be forging into 'virgin territory'. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by divalishis: 1:53am On Aug 06, 2011 |
@tpia Here, I'm just numbering what you won't be told as a virgin. When it comes to the life after the wedding, of course, the women of your house (aunts, granmas and co) will tell you all about how the husband will reduce the money he has been giving you and how you should endure all he shoves your way!!! They will also tell you to look the other way when he's tricking, as long as he takes care of you. They will tell you that; Ile Oko, ile eko!! That's why I'm not wasting time on that, since it will be hammered well into them during 'advice time'. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by tpia5: 1:53am On Aug 06, 2011 |
oh well. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by Mynd44: 1:54am On Aug 06, 2011 |
Virgin territory hmmm |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by MMM2(m): 9:41am On Aug 06, 2011 |
op re u d last virgin  |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by lindabon: 9:47am On Aug 06, 2011 |
@post nice one but is d info also for virgins that want to have premarital xex. or in their own case is there a red horned demon, right on the side of the bed, WATCHING them as they go?? just wondering |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by Tosinville(m): 9:49am On Aug 06, 2011 |
This some kind of bullshit, who cares about virgin anyway? besides the post isn't necessary here since you can't find virgin on NL. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by pendo89(f): 10:05am On Aug 06, 2011 |
^^lets just assume what you said was right. But do you know the whole world can access this site and read all these info? What people debate here is mostly targeted at the larger crowd not NL romance section few. so broaden your mind a lil. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by claremont(m): 10:10am On Aug 06, 2011 |
divalishis: Yuck! |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by UpDates1(m): 10:19am On Aug 06, 2011 |
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| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by Mynd44: 10:51am On Aug 06, 2011 |
I am sick of all these virgin thread. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by tpia5: 5:09pm On Aug 06, 2011 |
but is d info also for virgins that want to have premarital xex that would be another thread, since this one specifically says wedding. |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by pleep(m): 5:20pm On Aug 06, 2011 |
The first one is just repulsive |
| Re: Five Things Virgins Should Know Before Wedding, Which Their Mama Won't Tell Them by Nobody: 7:01pm On Aug 06, 2011 |
lindabon:Damn!!!. . . . . YOU read my MIND!!! Cant believe some PEOPLE are JUST PLAIN DUMB! So after reading, virgins should "actually" go thru this SAME PROCESS just to avoid it on their WEDDING NIGHT? So FUNNY! R U B B I S H Z Z Z z z z! |
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