My friend is a doctor who went to the UK immediately he finished his medical education in Nigeria. He is a British citizen. while in the uk, he met a girl in a party and tossed her and b4 you can say jack robinson they started dating. This girl had a boyfriend then and had to leave her boyfriend for my friend according to what she said.
She was a student then. She soon had a problem with her visa extension, i dont know the full details of why it was so. So my friend and this girl decided to get married, at least they were in love with each other or so my friend thought.
After a year they got married, my friend had to come back to nigeria for his House officer placement( this takes 12months to complete) as he was finding it difficult to get a job cos he had not done it when he finished his medical education. Meanwhile, while in nigeria he was fully responsible for paying the rent in the council flat she and the girl where staying in the uk.
During his leave period, he came back to london to spend some time with his wife. During this time he found a mobile phone bill of his wife and the baill was for £150. He was shocked by this and decided to look thru the bill in detail and noticed that 99% of the call was to a particular number. He secretly went thru her phone to see who the no belonged and the name was stored as a the girls best friend no.
He deciede to go tru the txt mgs and was shocked to c txts like '' i enjoyed it, what about you'', ''i m missing u'', are you coming 2nite''. He was shocked and spoke to his girlfriend about this and all she could say was it was just a practical joke with her friend. He realised that before coming to nigeria he had often found it difficult to get to his wife cos her phone is always engaged, so he decided to investigate it further
Not satisfield with expalanation, he rang the no and behold it was a male voice at the other end. My guy was too shock to say anything. All he could say was that hope the guy kn hat the girl was married, and the guy denied having any affair with the girl. He decided to let the issue rest especially after reporting the case to his wife's father, all he got was y shd he be going tru phone.
He came back to Nigeria to finish his placement. At the end of the placement he cameback to the uk without telling his wife he was coming. What did he c when he entered his house, y guess is as good as mine. There the wife was having it with a guy he knew( her exboyfriend) in their matrimonial bed as if their life depended on it doggy style. After the drama that ensued had settled down, the girl confessed that it was same guy he use to call.
So my guy decided to end the marriage. It was after the whole story came out that one of our friend who was this guy's best friend admitted that he knew all about it for almost a yr b4, as the exboyfriendwas his friend and he had told him everything. I was shocked.
Now the girl is begging to come back, usual excuse was its devils work. My friend is confuse cos he still luvs her. He asked for my advice . I told him i will think about it and give him a reply next wk. What do u advice me to tell him.
Meanwhile they dont ve any children yet.

There is no room for infedelity in marriage, at least i hope so, so ur guy need to move on. but it easier said than done.

This is not my usual answer, but I tell the Guy to forget Love and move on as fast as he could.

A cheating and lieing woman is one thing, sleeping with another man especially 'ex boyfriend' in Matrimonial home is another thing.

Then to add insult upon injury, the remarKs allegedly coming from the girls' father shows that her family are of dubious character, this are the sort of father or parent (because women are the ones always on the side of their daughters) that will encourage the girl to give you a bastard child as if it were yours.

God has shown you more light than you will need to make up your mind to run faster than a Jet engine.

My most instinctive opinion is that she was just using you to get papers in the UK. Chikena. She is not in love with you and take it from me she may be in lust but an adulterous wife is most dangerous than snake.

When men sleep around it is usaually for lust and vain, but when woman does that it has more  meaning than that. let me go on step further the so called 'ex boyfriend' knew everything about you and he doesn't have papers either and just waiting for 'his wife' to get papers from you to divorce you and marry him so that he can also get papers. he is giving her the f*ck of her life and you are paying for it including phone bills. You are paying for other people to enjoy 'their wife' and sex is sweet when someone else pays for it.

If your are a christian, you could also prayed for God to give you direction or an insight into it and you will find my contribution spot on. thank God you don't have a child yet and even if you do , a DNA is a MUST now and nothwistanding you still need to leave her unless GOd said to the contrary.

To make you understand what I am saying, once you have suspected her and find all the Text and phone bills and number etc and you confront her including her father, a decent girl will stop it immediately, confess her sin and make sure she has a wonderful relationship with you from then. She continue until she did it on your matrimonil bed you paid for. Infact her parents are aware of all the games all along. she will have told them you are just helping her to get papers and that you are the one forcing yourselve on her and her parent will just support it. Infact the other man may be giving your 'in-laws' some monthly gifts so they are carried away.

A word is enough for the wise. Forget love and think about your life, this type of woman will kill you one day and it will be your fault when you get to heaven because God has expose her and her family  and they will always blame it on the devil, meanwhile your life will have been cut short, GOD forbid.

THE MOST TWO IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE APART FROM GOD IS DISCERMENT/REVELATION/INFORMATION  AND WISDOM TO ACT ON THOSE REVELATION.

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU, RUN AND DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE. THE WOMAN IS TOP GRADE USER IF NOT PHYSICALLY BUT SPIRITUALLY.

How sad and painful when you opened your heart to love someone and the best you got was a stab on the back. I agree totally with vigasimple in his/her analysis and recommendation. One thing to add is this: if you go ahead and take her back then be prepared for the memory of the experience to hunt & hurt you for the rest of your life. I have learnt from experience that anyone that can lie can practically do anything that goes by the name evil. Once I find a lie in anyone, I'm done with the person.



Shalom

Hmmmm this is a hard one, i wish it will be easy for him to forgive her but i will be lying if i say so, its complicated and a very difficult situaition, sometimes people truly repent most times people don't. he should do what he feels is right to him and what he feels will give him justice in this situation

That lady she called a wife is a disgrace to women folk.I hate it when people are blinded by lust,I would rather remain a divorcee and be happier than be co-habiting with an adulterous wife and be living with fear for the rest of my life.Brother! there are beautifu and decent girl out there,be prayerful ,stay focused, and go to a decent place when looking for a partner not a club.

D Bible says 4give 70x7 times a day.I do knw dat it will nt b easy 4 ur frend to 4get but if n only if he will ask 4 4giveness frm God n d grace to carry on,God is always there n ur frend shld as a matter of urgentcy sit her down n discuss wit her d way 4ward.If he shld divorce his wife nw n go ahead to marry anoder woman,he will adultery n unless he will stay like dat 4va

Wow. It continues to baffle me how nasty and unfaithful people can be. I normally just read through posts but this one really touched me.
I pray God will give your friend strenght through this period. I have gone through similiar grief and I know it is not easy. Under no circumstances should he take her back.
First this is not a one night stand but something that had been going on a while. She hid the number under a girls name and she got caught in the act. She lied throughout. She brought another man into her marital home. I mean how bad is that??
All she feels now is remorse. She never loved your friend in the first place. She is probably freaking out cause she hasn't got her permanent stay as yet (takes 2 years). Sometime God is so merciful he spares us pain that could be much worse later (years togheter and kids)
All this excuses on cheating for men and women is nonsense. If you love and RESPECT someone u do not cheat end of story.
I was in love once and when other guys tried it on I used to smile in me as I knew and cherished what I had. No matter what even if we argued I was never tempted cause I belived we were soulmate. Unfortunately he proved me wrong, very wrong and I learnt never to trust so wholeheartedly but I do believe in faithfullness in a relationship.
Everybody should read thier bible well as you are allowed to seperate in case of adultery.
She gave her body to someone that is not her husband and broke the vow she made.
If they just married in the registry office and not in church most churches would not even consider it valid.
This lady sounds like a scheming, manipulating person.
Obviously there are 2 sides to a story but I live in England and I would not at all surprised if she had planned to do this for documents and agreed with her ex(expecially if he is nigerian too). If he feels like forgiving her I would admire him. Really.
Anyway loads of prayers for God's direction and I hope he does meet someone that will be faithful and loving if he decides to move on.

Hi,

Let the guy disengage the baby immediately, pls no sentiment.


Olu-Hak

my broda, no need telling u what 2 do,

deep down in ur heart,,,i know that u know what u shud be, but u are just too weak,

i know how it feels, when u truly love some1, u want 2 make all the sacrifies necessary to make the whole thing work,,,,,,,,,,,
but enough is enough try n work on urself, date other girls,,n pray, ,thaTS THE ONLY WAY U CAN WIPE HER MEMORY off ur heart n mind
shallom

forgive her and treaten her with divorce if she repeats. consider on improving your sex lives which pushes a lot of women out of their matrimonial homes

My advice is for him not to accept her back, am so sure if the guy accept her back, she will still cheat on him, with the same guy. The guy did not love, he love his ex bf, nothing can be done about it, than for him to leave her and try to find someone else that love him.

tell him to move on with his life jare. she's not worth it.

Just an update on this topic. My friend finally accepted her back before i could give any advice. So i just kept my opinion to myself. I wish them all the best but fingers crossed.

make suree he leaves her ass and i hope he didn't get her the papers she is looking for so they could deport her F#$king ass

That bitch is the worst kind of person

Your friend is a jack ass for taking her back his life would never be settled because he would spend the rest of his marriage suspecting her of things she might not even be doing

Tell your friend the girl is waiting for 2 years to pass so she can get her permanent stay and then divorce him.if she stays past 2 years,she will only get more in terms of stay and and half of his money.
It has happened to many people.
A word is enough for the wise!
Forget that love and forgiveness shit where "papers" are involved.

Issues of the heart should not be treated with Mathematical precision

I have been in a situation where i knew my Girl was f, king some guys (her ex's and other ex) and i still handled my Biz
( making her realise that opening her legs for guys wasn't doing her no good plus I stepped up Giving her Mind blowing Lovemaking)
and now she is very sorry 4 her past
As for me i don't take 'Oh he is just a friend' or 'My ex called me' that was the day you lost your Gsm number

Food for thought: What is it with Girls and Their Ex(s) ?

flee such a woman fast or else the consequences will be dire, to do that to u is just a titbit of greater things in store, leave her while u still have ur dignity and senses intact, God does not need to use lighting on u before u do the proper thing.

there`s nothing difficult in this situation,

once bitten, twice shy

a wife who cheats n brings a man on her matrimonial bed would sure do it again, trust me!!!!!!

what stupid devil, even when we r in naija and the devil is in america, they`l still say its the devil!!!!!

waoh, doggy style

Nice,

let him 4get love jare

he shouldn't have married her just for immigration reasons

YES I FEEL HE SHOULD FORGIVE HER

BUT HE SHOULD EXPECT A VERY WEAK BED AFTER SOME YEARS OF TRAVELLING,BECAUSE SHE WILL SURELY HAVE LIKE 15 EXBOYFRIENDS WHO LIKE TO SAY 'HI'

DAT WAN NEVA WAN MARRY JARE

He should leave her. A cheating woman never changes trust me. Its an act of long throat and she's only begging him to fulfill all righteousness. Ask your friend to ask himself how he will feel whenever he is out of town and she's left alone in the UK. If he will feel confident that she wont go getting shagged by these Jobless( Uncircumsized) Jamos or even by the same guy? If he feels ok with sharing his wife and hurting his emotions then he should go ahead and remain with her. Trust me in this case, there's no point in asking any question at all. She just has to go!

It is painful to lov a girl who love another person.
My guy pls tell your freind to find love from someone else, for what that lady has for him is not true love,
He said he still love her, fine, but that will only be for a period of time, let him feel as if he fell in love with some one who once existed but now in the dust with our ancestors, there is time for love and time for letting it go, before d lady will carry another persons pregnancy and give it to him.
Its hurt when trying to let go someone you lov but pretends to love you in return, but when you lets go you will find out thats you've sowed joy n peace into your future. let her go! and the one that lov you will come.
Sometimes we find out that what we want is not really what we need.[i][/i][/color][color=#990000]

The girl dey find paper chikena.I don hear dis kind story for this London tire.
Both girls and guys are victims of this scam especially oyibo girls

Adultery na Adultery and there are no excuses. The lady will continue to cheat on him, why not part ways. I doubt her apologies I rather want to believe its because she sees a goldmine in the guy. Its easier to end it all now especially when there are no children that will be affected. Dont be surprised if she remarries her ex.

I agree with uyai

Further Update,
I heard the girl is pregnant now, wao, this really blew my head. I cant really understand what my frind is doing with this girl. He is asking me if he shd go for DNA test but he is scared of the outcome. If he is not the father he says he might just commit suicide. I am beginning to fear for him. I am starting to ask myself why i got involved in all this and at times dont answer his call but this leaves me with so much guilt that i ve to call him back. I am really scared for him.

This story is just too messy. Tell your friend to take a time out and think. He should stop reasoning with his balls. He should get away from this girl for a while and think. I personally think he is beign used. How can he be so blind. A DNA should answer the question of paternity nothing else. He should get ready and get it done ASAP. How can a naija boy be this foolish!!!! i cannot explain it. Love is not meant to be stupid but rational. I beg him to THINK HARD O!!! Doesnt he have a family? cant they talk or the issue or something. His babe is a schemer a big one. Most women can be but it takes a smart guy to know it and act fast.

my advice for ur friend is to move on with his life,because as long as that ex-boyfriend of hers is alive she will stiil remain unfaithful.besides marriage doesnt condole unfaithfulness.good luck to him

applec:

my advice for your friend is to move on with his life,because as long as that ex-boyfriend of hers is alive she will stiil remain unfaithful.besides marriage doesnt condole unfaithfulness.good luck to him

word a word is enough for tha wise!