culf:


thank you. please don't ever consider the option to cheat unless you have finally decided to end the marriage.

If she has decided to end the marriage, cheating is unnecessary.

Channah1:


Thats the disadvantage of getting a spouse from a club. When he was tripping you to clubs and strippers house, what kind of husband did you think he would make? Angelic?

Now, you're still putting up with such a public dog claiming its because you love him but truth is, he will never change and two things can only happen very soon. It's either he impregnates another woman or brings home a deadly disease. That is when you'll know how important good health is.

My advice. On no account should any woman stick with an unrepentant cheat. You'll regret. So, ill advice you take your leave now that you still have your sanity and health intact.. even the Bible supports you divorce on grounds of Infidelity though I'm not suggesting divorce but separation. If he changes and comes back, make sure you do all necessary test before accepting him back!

Be wise!

Quite rational

Fvck him na...whats there.

98% of men cheat, I don't know why you disturbing us here. Leave if your not comfortable with it. Me myself i dey cheat and if my wife is not comfortable with it she can leave.

Womanwoman:
Hello guys, I recently opened this account solely for this purpose. It's going to be a long read, please bear with me. I need very sincere and mature advice(s), please.

My husband and I have known each other for 11 years, (I was 16 years old and a university fresher. He's 3 years older). We've been married for 5 years, and have two boys. He's a very adventurous person whose job necessitates him to travel frequently. I always accompanied him on his numerous journeys while we were single. I am a freelancer and have my time to myself, provided there is light and internet. Throughout the time we courted, we travelled, explored strip clubs, parties and all..including churches..lol. I have never had him cheat on me….well, not until we got married and had our first child.

At that time, my hormones got messed up and I had a very low sex drive. I was overwhelmed with having to cater for my baby owing to the fact that I live in a different state from my mum - she came over and spent a short while with me when I had my baby. I had a help come over thrice a week solely to clean the house, while I attend to my baby. My husband, as usual, travels interstate for his work. He also performs his responsibilities and I really appreciate his sacrifice for the family.

I complained to a gynecologist who prescribed some medications to balance my hormones. I'll tell you that I even had to use the regular aphrodisiacs alongside. It finally balanced about a year and half and everything went fine. A year after, I conceived of my second, and the hormonal imbalance and everything that happened with the first, happened. This is with me trying to find my way around it.

Well, I found out my husband employed the services of escorts on about 3 occasions especially when he travels. I confronted him sternly and I even made jokes about it - I didn't want to be too harsh, and I wanted him to open up to me completely. I didnt want my actions to push him outside further. He mentioned that I sex starved him, and he didn't want to make me feel any worse by being persistent. We resolved it, and I mentioned never to go through his phone again.

He employed a new staff in February this year, and I was part of those in the selection process. I wish that never happened. I wish I was against her employment.

In April, the kids and I had to travel to another state (where his small company is located) just to say hi. He comes home frequently, and sometimes spends a considerable time at home, but this time, the kids were on holidays so we travelled.

It was there that I found out that he was having an affair with his staff. I confronted him, he cried, begged, and promised it won't happen again…talking about how much his staff respects and is scared of me, bla bla. Again, I let it slide. Whatever he had with his staff continued, and they became extra careful about it, but in one way or the other, I found out again - in june-, and as usual, he begged (this is with me being as civil as possible. Before we got married, I used to be the type that before he says A, I'll have said A-Z). But overtime, I intentionally stopped that attitude.

I forgave him and everything became normal, not for it to happen the third and fourth time with him begging each time. During these periods, I have been careful not to involve family because I feel they can be biased with each party supporting their own, coupled with the fact that the situation will linger on, especially in the mind of my family members even though my husband and I reconcile. They might cause them to have a resentment towards him.

The wahala now is that this thing has happened again, and he has been begging. I have asked him to sack her, but his excuse is that it will affect his work as it's a contract job. He said he'd relieve her once the contract is over. He has promised one last time, but I told him that I find it hard to take his word. This time, I really raised my voice with my old Margaret Thatcher's attitude…lol. I lashed him severely with unkind but very choosy words such as "a liar from the pit of hell, and hitting him hard about how unable he is to control his libido. I was hurt. He has promised and reneged countless times, and I now fear that the trust in my marriage is broken.

Even though I am hurt, I don't want to be separated from my family. This is because my parents were separated when I was little, and I knew how tough it was, growing up. Due to the separation, I don't have a good relationship with some of my siblings because the four of us were separated with two being with my dad, and the remaining two of us being with my mum. I never had a single fatherly love. None.

I don't want the same to happen to my kids. What can I do, Please? I still love him, but I am seriously heartbroken and do not trust him anymore because he'll still have to continue working with the said girl.

I am currently on family planning and at the same time trying to balance my hormones. I'm tired.

Aunty stop investigating your hubby. You are not CIA. Most men cheat, even if he sacks the said staff, he will still cheat. If you leave him for another man, that new man will still cheat. He even tried to hide everything from you but you go about digging dirt upandan . You have to come to term with the fact that majority of me cheat and it's not because they don't like you, we are just adventurous in nature. He is sleeping with only one and you are complaining, while some men are living like singles. Keep talking to him, we still reduce drastically but obviously he wouldn't change. You should be happy that you have a spouse that even accepts his limitations and confesses to you. Others go change am for you. Manage am , na your cross, bear am. I am sorry I haven't told you what you want to hear, but I am telling you the reality that I have seen. Give the man some slack but put him on a short leash. Cheers

olabrinks:
You learn to live with it, since you’re not ready to leave. There’s no amount of begging and pleading that will make your husband change, he will continue to cheat, that’s a choice he has decided to make. So please stop bothering yourself over that, it’s a waste of time. Men like your husband do not change until they are 70, elderly looking with multiple health complications.

One thing about men, when you begin to give birth to their children, the way they view you changes. It’s the natural psychology of men. You become the replacement of their mother, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. You can be the sexiest woman on earth, you will always remind him of routine and stability, (aka see finish lol) it’s subconscious. They say show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I’ll show you a man who is bored of her. When I see the scrubs that men cheat with on their beautiful amazing wives, it’s quite shocking. Then you will understand the mindset of men.

It’s the grace of God that give some married men discipline, but most of them succumb to their selfish thrills and desires. Affairs give them the excitement, challenge and chase that he had when he first met you.

If you’re not ready to leave, I say focus on yourself and look the other way. Wear condoms to protect yourself and empower your mind with positive and exciting things. Take care of yourself and be the source of your happiness. Your husband is not your God, he is not your Life. Do not revolve your life around him. Be at peace, you cannot force or control another human being to do what you want them to do. I personally think you need to leave him, he will destroy you and turn you into a shadow of yourself if you do not , but that’s left for you to decide. Good luck.

That's really deep!

Stop Mansplaining. He's your husband not your child.
If cheating is a deal breaker for you, leave let another person enter.
If it bothers you ensure a No condom no sex rule.

Many things you have to understand.

You must first understand that your husband may never stop his philandering. This is a sad possibility. Cheating is unacceptable. I may have forgiven the first time. But this has happened repeatedly. I'll not stay with a cheating partner.

Unfortunately, he has no regard for you and the kids. Stay or leave, I have no advice for you.

AlphaTaikun:

That's really deep!

Yes, but it totally destroys the essence of Marriage.