Five years ago while i was an undergraduate, i slept with my girl friend's younger sister. Today, i am tormented with this great feelings of guilt and bitterness. My girl friend believed in me so much that behind me, she had created a wonderful image of mine before her people. Though i didn't know about that, i supposed i lived up to it by her own judgment. Then came the younger sister with a master plan. She had registered for a G.C.E and persuaded her elder sister to invite me to sit for her in the major papers. The elder sister who knew i was her (younger sister's) only chance of getting through, she having sat for the same exams several times and screwed up, talked me into it. I had to shuttle between my place of Industrial attachment and the exam center so much so that sometimes it would be too late for me to return to my place after the day's exams. Because the younger sister had rented an accommodation (which i believe was part of the big plan) and knowing that the elder sister was not observant and perhaps blindfolded by her trust on me, started scheming to make me sleep over instead of returning home late. Guys, i fell for it. Or, no, wait, i should say i wanted it too, having seen it in her eyes, the strong desire to taste what the elder sister had  campaigned about. Ooo!, Campus life. After we had it once, she started blackmailing me, that unless we continued, she would tell the elder sister. It was fun to me too. So, i enjoyed it while it lasted. It took a lot of force and pleading to make her give up after the exam for the elder sister. The elder sister and i continued up to our graduation, of course without her knowledge of the whole thing. Today and even after we separated (elder sister and i), i still feel i betrayed her. But i am scared of the consequences of telling her. Theirs is a happy home, and throwing such bomb is capable of putting a perpetual enmity between the two sisters. I also quit my relationship with the elder sister with the believe that i don't see myself getting to end up with her. I mean not with the memories of my short lived romance with the younger sister that would hunt me as an in-law. Please, i am considering throwing courtesy aside and doing what i think is right. Or what do you guys advise?

Guy, I will tell you as it is. You are wicked you and the girl have separated and you still want to cause her pain by breaking her family up. Have you thought what telling her will do? Can't you just NOT kiss and tell?

^^ calling the man evil is very judgmental as he has confirmed that he understands he wronged his ex girl.
I do feel that some secrets are best kept due to the emotional distress it could cause . These are two young ladies who could develop such a bitterness that could last a life time due to such a revelation so my advice
KEEP THE SECRET BECAUSE YOU WOULD BREAK THE LOVE AND TRUST IN A FAMILY WITH SUCH A REVELATION AND DO NOT TELL ANY SOUL . IT'S BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GOD.

op

re u a born again christian?

ok
tell ur ex

^^^
that will be so he can start nyashing the sister again right?

Mynd_44:

^^^
that will be so he can start nyashing the sister again right?

yep
d both

tpm:

Theirs is a happy home, and throwing such bomb is capable of putting a perpetual enmity between the two sisters. I also quit my relationship with the elder sister

Oh boy.
You have a guilty conscience that is driving you crazy here .I will try to be reasonable though.
Always weigh the consequences of both actions. Look here,by not telling, your conscience is killing you[b] but what will you gain by destabilising the existing peace?[/b]The chances of things turning ugly are pretty high cz of what you just said up there and the result will be a greater headache than what you are experiencing right now. Some risks are just not worth taking cz a well intended confession could turn out to bethe worst mistake you ever made.
The younger gal trapped you ,you played along and ended up losing both of them! sad. Now the guilt is your cross to carry.
Just let bygones be bygones and please ask God to sanctify that mind and clear away the guilt so that you can free in mind. In times of ignorance God winks you know. Besides nobody died or was injured here. so?

Note this op.Sooner or later the truth might spill out through the young one and you will be confronted by the elder one.Then you can look for all the words possible to explain what you did in the past. But who knows maybe u will be in another state or they will have matured enough to handle the truth.
Oh may God be with you.

Why even waste your time bringing it up if you're no longer together? It seems pointless to me. You had the opportunity to come clean when you were together but you took the cowards way out. Now is not the time to further cause her anguish because you couldn't man up.

Best to just keep it moving and learn from your mistakes.

It is foolishness to keep it to urself and at d same time dangerous to spill it. There are two tins i tink can help
1. Seek ur pastor's advice
2. Pray 4 God's leading cos restitution is inevitable

OP, it’s good that you have a conscience

Telling the girl about what transpired between you and her sister may bring discord, mistrust and hatred into the girl’s family. Like i said, it’s good that you have a conscience because, with conscience comes guilt. I will suggest that you live with your guilt. Let it be the price you have to pay for you misdeeds. Telling the girl will make you feel better and give you closure but to be honest, you really don’t deserve to be feeling this way   . You need to feel as horrible and as terrible as you possibly can about yourself. Find a way to forgive yourself but leave the girl and her family out of it

The only person I really pity is the girl as with that kind of sister, hmm, I wonder

Do not hesitate for a minute, go ahead and tell her about the kind of woman she has for a sister. She could do the same to the girl's husband, if not kept at an arm's distance, bldy n*y*m*p*h*o ! Haven't you heard about the adage " a stitch in time saves nine" ?

The younger sis is still doing same thing to the elder sis even as we speak whether its her hubby or boyfriend.

poster

i don't know what your sudden conscience is but that story is something you should take to the grave with you.

@OP,

What you don't know wont hurt you. whats your point telling the elder sis? Live with your guilt.

^^^^

Honest is the best policy.

Advocator:

Honest is the best policy.

Honesty is the best policy , and to be Honest revealing this to the girl directly would be very damaging. A way out is to talk to an objective mentor/ religious leader who would not judge but can advice on how and when to tell the girl. Its best that the girls father knows before the girl herself.

sweet_gala:



Honesty is the best policy , and to be Honest revealing this to the girl directly would be very damaging. A way out is to talk to an objective mentor/ religious leader who would not judge but can advice on how and when to tell the girl. Its best that the girls father knows before the girl herself.

He didn't hurt the girl's parent nor her relatives. He hurt her intentionally, so the least he can do is come out clean and confess. How many times have I thought that by telling the truth I would die and it amenably kept me more alive. Let him beg, crunch and confess. If she is what destiny had stored for him then she'll forgive if not then - - - -

What does the father have to do with this? People need to stop with these antiquated & backward customs. This is 2011.

If he needs to tell anyone it should be the ex-girlfriend and only her.

HMMMM, thsi matter 'mess for person mouth,dem come add salt ontop am' infact, i would rather you tell the siste, it is better the truth be told instead of hiding it to keep peace, make everything scatter, maybe that would be the first step to cubbing the sister.excesses, because if the younger sister starts to sleep with the sister's hubby, that one go buru!!!! gan faa!!!!, what is the world turning into, ?

The guy shoul take what happened to his tomb

sweet_gala:

A way out is to talk to an objective mentor/ religious leader [/b]who would not judge but can advice on how and when to tell the girl.[b] Its best that the girls father knows before the girl herself.

Gala I wish you had said,run to God.Pastors can be very misleading and he will be left to bear the consequences.
Did you mention the gals father? What is his place in all this? the gal is not a minor so leave the father out please.
I mean that is soo misplaced.

Leave the past where it belongs - in the past!
If you were still dating the elder sis, then I would suggest you confess. But you are no longer together, let it go.
We've all done crazy things in the past. Hell, I've double dated my girlfriend's roommate. Even though we are best of friends today, I do not need to tell her anything. Why open old wounds?