Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Pls mod help me move this for wider input

Stale story... repeated storyline

On AIT right now, they're roasting APC over the ebonyi assualt on peaceful rally

ok

OP you know what to do no need asking questions or trying to justify yur action yur instincts tell you all
Me just ended mine three week now guy nothing like free air of freedom
No more fight
No more accuser that tells people around that am maltreating her
No more malice
No more secrets
I can finally live with my children in peace etc
If you check my tread and post you will know what I mean
D truth is dat you are on the receiving end and you know what to do nobody can teach you what to do
Na you dey wear shoe and know we're it dey pain u
Good luck

Would have commented but the first commenter has spoilt the show

1) divorce the DECEITFUL/UNTRUSTWORTHY/DISRESPECTFUL woman as it is obvious she is cheating on you
2) go for DNA test to confirm that the children are yours!

Kpomo na meat
STOP DISCRIMINATION

The same post again, created by same poster.
Didn't you get enough response on the previous thread?
Do you need a divorce lawyer on NL?
I'm sure people can recommend one for you on here

Why are you telling us? Carry on and don't disturb our peace because Buhari and tilinbu matter still dey disturb us here . Thank you and congratulations in advance

Drama king.

FiRst poster drew the first blood.

have a private discussion with her about it

It's good to be a complete man before you get married.

Involving third-parties to your home affairs by sending screenshot of your wife's chats shows you're still a kid not matured enough for marriage

Why are you telling us

It's your business, deal with it..

I find it rather confusing that you lock your phone for security reasons and that you find it odd that she cannot do the same. Again you wrote about yourself being solely responsible for the family finance but didn't explain if your wife works

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Pls mod help me move this for wider input

Marry second wife

Lee29:
It's good to be a complete man before you get married.

Involving third-parties to your home affairs by sending screenshot of your wife's chats shows you're still a kid not matured enough for marriage

A great knowledge in a hand of a fool is self destruction.
You are not at any point Better than the guy .
You did well by sending those evidences to her family by letting them know that they gave birth to a bitch

You did overreacted by sending those pictures to the others because this is your battle, not theirs.

Like what do expect them to do or say when it's not them chatting with the guy behind your back?

Why channel your energy on the thirds parties when there's an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, which is your wife?

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Pls mod help me move this for wider input

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
....
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Pls mod help me move this for wider input

The answer you seek can be found in your very first paragraph. Never make a decision while high on emotions. Wait until you have calmly processed the situation, the pros and cons before you make a move. You don't need to rush these things so calm down and think things through before you take your next leap abeg!

Abeg drop her number for here make I counsel am.
She will change.

I had to reepost cos i didnt get enough advice that help me out. This issue is still on and an still in a dilemma right now and have not figure this out yet.

MatrixReloaded:
Stale story... repeated storyline

Okay thanks for the advice. Am also thinking about doing this for peace of mind. I dont know how i can continue with this without trust in the union.

neonly:
OP you know what to do no need asking questions or trying to justify yur action yur instincts tell you all
Me just ended mine three week now guy nothing like free air of freedom
No more fight
No more accuser that tells people around that am maltreating her
No more malice
No more secrets
I can finally live with my children in peace etc
If you check my tread and post you will know what I mean
D truth is dat you are on the receiving end and you know what to do nobody can teach you what to do
Na you dey wear shoe and know we're it dey pain u
Good luck

Yes i need more advice. I wish you are in my shoes, you will understand better

eyinjuege:
The same post again, created by same poster.
Didn't you get enough response on the previous thread?
Do you need a divorce lawyer on NL?
I'm sure people can recommend one for you on here

Am sure if you are married, you will also be tempted to do worst. This is the wife you have loved and cared for and knowing she has been unfaithful and cheating should be enough to shattered your world

Lee29:
It's good to be a complete man before you get married.

Involving third-parties to your home affairs by sending screenshot of your wife's chats shows you're still a kid not matured enough for marriage

Okay thanks. Will take my time

Kobojunkie:
The answer you seek can be found in your very first paragraph. Never make a decision while high on emotions. Wait until you have calmly processed the situation, the pros and cons before you make a move. You don't need to rush these things so calm down and think things through before you take your next leap abeg!

Before this, my wife is fond of accusing me wrongly that am cheating and sleeping arround and this has also been happening. I have gone to the extent of using bible to prove my faithfulness that have not slept with any other woman other than her. She has tarnished my reputation to her family members by saying all sort of derogatory words to them about me and this was the reason i sent those chat to them so they will know who is the evil between the both of us. To be honest i never felt regret doing that cos i want her to know how it felt for your reputation to be tarnished. Thats why i did what i did.

Samantha123:
You did overreacted by sending those pictures to the others because this is your battle, not theirs.

Like what do expect them to do or say when it's not them chatting with the guy behind your back?

Why channel your energy on the thirds parties when there's an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed, which is your wife?

You need a divorce from your wife?

Have you asked her if she needs a divorce from you as well?
Yes! Because if she doest need it she as a married woman knows better not to play around except she is ready to lose her marriage.

BTW why are you sending evidences of your wife flirty chat to pastor and her dad. Now these people are putting pressure on you making it difficult for you to divorce her right away. You should had done that first and when people asked questions you show them evidences because I believe a leopard never change its spot.
If you eventually listen to self acclaim "mature people" that will tell you to forgive her. Then watch out for your life.
No man should house a cheating wife, a lesbian, or a constantly nagging woman.
These type of women kills faster than the most venomous snake

Take your time to do what again?

Didn't you ask her before when you saw the initial chats? She gave you some flimsy excuse....

The Yoruba pples wil say , "Ti ogiri ko ba la enu, alangba ko le wo ibe".
If she had rebuffed the guy from the get go, he wouldn't have the audacity to still be chatting her till now, she encouraged it ni .
Are you sure money has not been exchanging hands too? This sapa period, all money na money o.

Afodot0022:
Before this, my wife is fond of accusing me wrongly that am cheating and sleeping arround and this has also been happening. I have gone to the extent of using bible to prove my faithfulness that have not slept with any other woman other than her. She has tarnished my reputation to her family members by saying all sort of derogatory words to them about me and this was the reason i sent those chat to them so they will know who is the evil between the both of us. To be honest i never felt regret doing that cos i want her to know how it felt for your reputation to be tarnished. Thats why i did what i did.

Her mind is outside, let her go see what she seeks out there.

Freelane33:

A great knowledge in a hand of a fool is self destruction.
You are not at any point Better than the guy .
You did well by sending those evidences to her family by letting them know that they gave birth to a bitch

The problem with most folks is that they don't understand the responsibility of a man in a home.
The day you start involving third-parties in your marriage as a man shows you're immature.

Take charge
Take responsibility
Make decisions

The both of you need to stop running to your families like little kids..

When you got married you made a vow that you gonna stay together as one through good and bad, not run to your families at every issue you have.

Rather try a couples therapy.


It seems like you guys were never ready for marriage in the first place, but I can't tell you what decision to make with regard to your marriage. The ball is in your court.

Afodot0022:
Before this, my wife is fond of accusing me wrongly that am cheating and sleeping arround and this has also been happening. I have gone to the extent of using bible to prove my faithfulness that have not slept with any other woman other than her. She has tarnished my reputation to her family members by saying all sort of derogatory words to them about me and this was the reason i sent those chat to them so they will know who is the evil between the both of us. To be honest i never felt regret doing that cos i want her to know how it felt for your reputation to be tarnished. Thats why i did what i did.

Afodot0022:
Top of the day to you all wherever you are reading this my story. I am just in an emotional situation now that i need a breather and what to do to ease me of this emotional pains am going through.
I got married 5 years ago and have 2 daughters to that. For almost 5 years of marriage, i have not had any reason to suspect my wife of cheating cause she has always prove to be a loyal and trustworthy person to me not until recently that i started noticing some things popping up. Our marriage has not been that rosy and perfect as we do have alots of arguments which i have tried my best to make her happy in my capabilities. I fund the house finances and barely get any tangible financial support from her but that doesn't really bother me so far am still capable of meeting those bills.
It happened when i noticed that my wife started using password on her phone and she react negatively whenever i want to access her phone. Though she doesn't pick up my phone cos its also has password but i can never deny my wife access to my phone whenever she wants to make use of it. Anytime i want to access her phone, she says she cant allow me cos i dont allow her aswell which is not true. I only password my phone cos of security purpose. The last time i used her phone, i noticed she deleted a particular chat with a guy. It was the guy replying chat that made me knew she deleted the conversation and the way the guy was addressing her made me so uncomfortable. He was using my love and all sort of romantic words to my wife, i saw it and confronted her about it that i dont like it but she said he is just a friend that she knew way back before she got married. I noticed the guy just left the country to an arab country and my wife told me that its strictly business of exporting food stuff to him thats between then.
Fortunately, i picked up her phone last night and what i saw was so devastating, i noticed she was still chatting with the guy and also exchanging love words together. My wife told the guy that she loves him and also miss him so much. This was just a little out of their conversation. I was so mad and screenshot those chat and send to my self for evidence cos she can deny anything deniable. I sent those shots to out church pastor, her dad, her mom and also all her siblings to know what their daughter was doing under my roof. Her dad has been apologizing that i should forgive her but seriously am so hurt emotionally right now and just felt like leaving the marriage cos to trust her henceforth will be difficult.
Pls what advice can you give i do and also did i over reacted by sending those screenshot out to her family and pastor. I need to know cos am confused. Pls pardon my english and typo errors.

Pls mod help me move this for wider input

Hmmm... Marriage this days eh..

You both need to visit your pastor or a marriage consular... they need to iron out the real issue here... when a husband or wife decide to start having affairs.. there is always a genesis issue that is involved... talk to someone... let her tell you what you hav done wrong to deserve the treatment... from their u guys can work something out...