Benokonma:
I had to create an account for this because of the bashing that may follow(the internet never forgives or forget and on this forum I have shared my reservations against single mums..lol).

So back in my university days I had a gf. She took in for me in my final year. Being an Igbo boy,especially from a family that love children and do not like their children growing outside home,my parent's urged me to bring the child home. My ex, is married now. We just grew apart.

I thought being a single dad ,that i will easily find a wife since they are not hated as single mom but I guess things are changing & all single parents are now getting to feel the brunt of it all as all the girls I have discussed marriage with keep hinting and telling me that my daughter would not live with us if we get married. Some have ghosted me even when I was been honest with them.


It is really crazy. Most men will run from responsibility but I did the right thing,became a real man and here is what I get?

I am 32,with a flat of three rooms and I earn well with the prospect of venturing into side business. In fact I am doing well for myself and can comfortably take care of my daughter, a wife and the kids that would come from my marriage. So what is the problem?
I am good looking and fit as well(registered in a gym class) so what is the problem here?

My daughter is twelve,she can bathe herself and do house chores and is well behaved. So how is she a burden? If she were a baby or toddler needing motherly attention then it will be justifiable that they don't want her to live with us(in that case I would have hired a nanny for that).

My baby mama isn't in the picture at all, she is focusing on her marriage, so what is the problem?



These ladies dont give me any tangible reason ,aside the usual "if I were a single mom will you allow me to bring my own kid to our matrimonial house?". Is it now a thing of revenge?

The last heartbreak was painful. This Lady literally bonded with my daughter.plaited my daughter hair, assisted me in school runs ,in fact on several occasions I dropped my daughter off at her place when I went for business trip and my daughter called her "mother" only for her to bring up the issue of my daughter not living with us should we get married. Her reason was that they may be sibling rivalry between the kids and the rest. I was really shattered for my daughter sake because my daughter was already attached to her.
Since then I swore never to introduce any woman to my daughter in order to protect her from rejection.

Single parents in the house that got hitched please show me the way.

Insults are welcome but please include advice after the insult.

MariahAn gel rozr oss pocohan tas emmao det crackh aus Capsloc ked bukaty ne pansoph ist hardd on

Mods (mynd4 4, faran o,rockta tion) abeg move to the front page.

PS: Some dolts who were dropped on their head as babies are already throwing insults.
But let me add the following,
1.this women I meet are good women and are not the hypergamous girls after my money(they are not demanding and giving is mutual). They are decent girls from god fearing families,as I don't wink at subpar women. They only issue here is their insistence that my daughter would not be brought to the matrimonial home.

2.comments are welcome from single parents who are now successfully married with their kids living with them,and wise monikers(as mentioned above). If you want to chip in advice, do so.if you have insults to give, that is fine,but please include an advice as well else I would report you for an instant ban.Don't spam the comment section.please

Mindlog:


Which omugwo? Should the daughter get married, who can stop the biological mother from being part of the wedding arrangements? That the daughter lives with the father, does not mean she has no or will have no relationship with her biological mother.

dnawah:
she is not in the picture.if she want let her come i want to take another one.

Mindlog:


Even if she is not in the picture, nothing changes the fact that she is her birth mother and if their daughter chooses to have her around her as an adult, no one can do anything about that.

Benokonma:
I had to create an account for this because of the bashing that may follow(the internet never forgives or forget and on this forum I have shared my reservations against single mums..lol).

So back in my university days I had a gf. She took in for me in my final year. Being an Igbo boy,especially from a family that love children and do not like their children growing outside home,my parent's urged me to bring the child home. My ex, is married now. We just grew apart.

I thought being a single dad ,that i will easily find a wife since they are not hated as single mom but I guess things are changing & all single parents are now getting to feel the brunt of it all as all the girls I have discussed marriage with keep hinting and telling me that my daughter would not live with us if we get married. Some have ghosted me even when I was been honest with them.


It is really crazy. Most men will run from responsibility but I did the right thing,became a real man and here is what I get?

I am 32,with a flat of three rooms and I earn well with the prospect of venturing into side business. In fact I am doing well for myself and can comfortably take care of my daughter, a wife and the kids that would come from my marriage. So what is the problem?
I am good looking and fit as well(registered in a gym class) so what is the problem here?

My daughter is twelve,she can bathe herself and do house chores and is well behaved. So how is she a burden? If she were a baby or toddler needing motherly attention then it will be justifiable that they don't want her to live with us(in that case I would have hired a nanny for that).

My baby mama isn't in the picture at all, she is focusing on her marriage, so what is the problem?



These ladies dont give me any tangible reason ,aside the usual "if I were a single mom will you allow me to bring my own kid to our matrimonial house?". Is it now a thing of revenge?

The last heartbreak was painful. This Lady literally bonded with my daughter.plaited my daughter hair, assisted me in school runs ,in fact on several occasions I dropped my daughter off at her place when I went for business trip and my daughter called her "mother" only for her to bring up the issue of my daughter not living with us should we get married. Her reason was that they may be sibling rivalry between the kids and the rest. I was really shattered for my daughter sake because my daughter was already attached to her.
Since then I swore never to introduce any woman to my daughter in order to protect her from rejection.

Single parents in the house that got hitched please show me the way.

Insults are welcome but please include advice after the insult.

MariahAngel rozross pocohantas emmaodet crackhaus Capslocked bukatyne pansophist harddon

Mods (mynd44, farano,rocktation) abeg move to the front page.

PS: Some dolts who were dropped on their head as babies are already throwing insults.
But let me add the following,
1.this women I meet are good women and are not the hypergamous girls after my money(they are not demanding and giving is mutual). They are decent girls from god fearing families,as I don't wink at subpar women. They only issue here is their insistence that my daughter would not be brought to the matrimonial home.

2.comments are welcome from single parents who are now successfully married with their kids living with them,and wise monikers(as mentioned above). If you want to chip in advice, do so.if you have insults to give, that is fine,but please include an advice as well else I would report you for an instant ban.Don't spam the comment section.please

dnawah:
bros no verse of, how often does the mom come to see the child and when did she come last?

Benokonma:
I had to create an account for this because of the bashing that may follow(the internet never forgives or forget and on this forum I have shared my reservations against single mums..lol).

So back in my university days I had a gf. She took in for me in my final year. Being an Igbo boy,especially from a family that love children and do not like their children growing outside home,my parent's urged me to bring the child home. My ex, is married now. We just grew apart.

I thought being a single dad ,that i will easily find a wife since they are not hated as single mom but I guess things are changing & all single parents are now getting to feel the brunt of it all as all the girls I have discussed marriage with keep hinting and telling me that my daughter would not live with us if we get married. Some have ghosted me even when I was been honest with them.


It is really crazy. Most men will run from responsibility but I did the right thing,became a real man and here is what I get?

I am 32,with a flat of three rooms and I earn well with the prospect of venturing into side business. In fact I am doing well for myself and can comfortably take care of my daughter, a wife and the kids that would come from my marriage. So what is the problem?
I am good looking and fit as well(registered in a gym class) so what is the problem here?

My daughter is twelve,she can bathe herself and do house chores and is well behaved. So how is she a burden? If she were a baby or toddler needing motherly attention then it will be justifiable that they don't want her to live with us(in that case I would have hired a nanny for that).

My baby mama isn't in the picture at all, she is focusing on her marriage, so what is the problem?



These ladies dont give me any tangible reason ,aside the usual "if I were a single mom will you allow me to bring my own kid to our matrimonial house?". Is it now a thing of revenge?

The last heartbreak was painful. This Lady literally bonded with my daughter.plaited my daughter hair, assisted me in school runs ,in fact on several occasions I dropped my daughter off at her place when I went for business trip and my daughter called her "mother" only for her to bring up the issue of my daughter not living with us should we get married. Her reason was that they may be sibling rivalry between the kids and the rest. I was really shattered for my daughter sake because my daughter was already attached to her.
Since then I swore never to introduce any woman to my daughter in order to protect her from rejection.

Single parents in the house that got hitched please show me the way.

Insults are welcome but please include advice after the insult.

MariahAngel rozross pocohantas emmaodet crackhaus Capslocked bukatyne pansophist harddon

Mods (mynd44, farano,rocktation) abeg move to the front page.

PS: Some dolts who were dropped on their head as babies are already throwing insults.
But let me add the following,
1.this women I meet are good women and are not the hypergamous girls after my money(they are not demanding and giving is mutual). They are decent girls from god fearing families,as I don't wink at subpar women. They only issue here is their insistence that my daughter would not be brought to the matrimonial home.

2.comments are welcome from single parents who are now successfully married with their kids living with them,and wise monikers(as mentioned above). If you want to chip in advice, do so.if you have insults to give, that is fine,but please include an advice as well else I would report you for an instant ban.Don't spam the comment section.please

Benokonma:
You are an animal. Stay off this thread and concentrate on your sociology degree cheers!

frozen70:


I feel your pain, but what you need is a very matured lady or woman who is really ready to settle down for marriage and it's challengings

Look for women who are on the 30s, they are hardly naughty

Any woman that doesn't want you to bring in your child, has an agenda

Keep searching but not with women below 30yrs

You dont need a learner
You need an experience and matured woman

Benokonma:


Thanks alot for your mature advice

Enny2013:
U ar 32 with a child of 12?
That means u got a lady pregnant at 20 in yr final year.
Bros eeh! U gained admission at 16. Yr Education was so fast men!

Bro, abeg, include yr real age to make it faster and easier for some Nairaland ladies who could b interested....
Thanks.

begoniaa:




Just one comment and your mask has slipped like this? And you're deluding yourself that you're a good person who deserves love and care and shit from a woman?

Now I have no doubt you're one of the vilest, slimmest, low-life mf trolls that crawl on here. How much of me do you know for you to mention that detail, huh, lol? What obsession, because you obviously have been doing some diggings on your main.

folake4u:



Hiannn. So much vitriol!!!

Are you sure it's not your stinky attitude that is chasing women away? Quote her with your main account,Oga.

dnawah:
u don know this gender very well,she have move on.to her it could be like throwing the baby away or aborting her.if that girl come in between her marriage she doesn't mind killing her.

The last heartbreak was painful.

Her reason was that they may be sibling rivalry between the kids and the rest.
...

They are decent girls from god fearing families,as I don't wink at subpar women. They only issue here is their insistence that my daughter would not be brought to the matrimonial home.

but please include an advice as well else I would report you for an instant ban.

Mindlog:


You are the one who have no clue on how the mind of a woman works.

She didn't abort the child nor threw her away, she has been in the care of her father.

When a lady gets pregnant, who is more likely to suggest abortion......the guy or the lady?

InfinityFabric:


YOU SIMPLY HAVE NO FRAME.
They all saw a weak man left.

The more kids a man has, the more his sexual market value (SMV) - that would explain why many girls are turning. If single women are rejecting you, you have a bigger problem them - and it's NOT being a single father.

Edit:

I haven't read this and I knew FRAME was your problem. My sincerest condolences.
IF it were to be a son, they might overlook your lack of FRAME, but daughter... again accept my condolences.


Still wonder why you're being left, left and right ?

Benokonma:

Lol,so this is what you could get from my post? That girls leave me? Lol.just lol.

So feeling heart broken over the pain my daughter felt makes me weak.

Just so you know, this thread was created for my daughter sake.

If I had a son I will not send anybody. How am I to help her in menstruation and other girl issues?

I am in need of someone to love my daughter and not me.
Looking for a mother to my daughter and not my soulmate.


Know the difference.

I should stamp my feet on the ground and insist my daughter lives with me then wake up to her being burnt with hot water or maltreated,all because she didn't willingly accept my daughter but pretended to accept her for fear of losing me?



I appreciate your input bros.

Thank you

Ayooade:
I dated a single dad who told me i hated his child, this girl is allowed to talk rudely but I can't talk because shes her dads daughter. There was this day i was talk To the father on phone, she was disturbing and the father said, stop disturbing i am talking with someone, the girl said " wetin concern me", i was so angry i kept it to my sef, now this girl actually collected the phone and told me " don't mind anything my daddy is saying o, he will not marry you". Omo i was so mad that day and instead gor the dad to apologize, he said don't mind her jare shes a small girl. This is a girl of 7 years plus o.
Any woman that wants to marry a single dad must be strong in heart cos especially if its a girl child, na serious competition. Cos the girl will never accept the wife as a mother, the girl can even be planning in her heart to wicked the wife cos she doesn't see her as a mother and another thing is the girl will keep updating her mother about your marriage to your wife and so many things will be going on underground. The only way to avoid this is either you leave the girl with your mom or just register her in the hostel cos trust me they will keep finding each others fault and u sef will be fed up of the whole thing. Even if u are married to a single mom too, na dat one worse pass except non of the children will live with the two of u. To think that your child is even 17, chai

Female kids are always over possessive of their dads. Most times they see any lady their father is getting intimate with as a threat. Kids within age 7 are worst because they don't understand the dynamics of woman-man relation. or child-man relations. Sorry you had to go through all that. Lol as for me, once I know the guy has a child I jump and pass.