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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter (1075 Views)
Come In If You Have Experience This Before.relationship Matter / Should I Continue This Relationship Or Quit? / She Never Apologises: I Am Thinking Of Ending This Relationship. (2) (3) (4)
I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 5:53am On Nov 21, 2022 |
I've been seeing things on news these past days, gf killing bf and so on. In one of the thread, I asked the quoted question but I didn't get enough contributions. So abeg make una reason my matter here. Truth is that the said girl can sacrifice for love, a rare trait to find nowadays, she can give up all to who she cares about I just had a lil issue with the babe I'm rolling with and from the call, she seemed temperamental. |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 5:56am On Nov 21, 2022 |
businesshub101:I'm not asking her to change, I don't even want her to change, I just want her to have control over her temperament Aguiyimba:She's sweet but when she's offended, she would just want to say it all in an aggressive way (She has never tried to fight me). SeriouslySense:as a matter of fact she was the one that told me about it when I saw the trait. She later apologized after using vulgar words on the phone (she knows I don't tolerate vulgar insults) but I fear for tomorrow irunoko:This girl can't hurt a fly, she's even scared to see blood. Before the call, when she's offended she will just walk out angrily but these days she will spill her annoyance but in a manner that is not polite. tyinfinity:Pls read through and see why I can't leave her. OkoRemi2023:Cheating on her is out of it cus the kind of hobby I engage discourages me from having sex most times unless I wanna be unproductive on it, and lucky for me she hasn't tasted the forbidden fruit before 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by symbianDON(m): 6:21am On Nov 21, 2022 |
There's a saying that, 'what you do not wish to eat, don't attempt to perceive it's odour'. In other words, what you don't want in a relationship, don't attempt to tolerate it at all. No matter how tasty a meal is, if too much salt is added, it spoils the taste. That trait she's exhibiting isn't something to be taken lightly. Mind you, YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANYONE! People change because they want to, not because you changed them. If you don't like that trait in her, walk away now! 2 Likes |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 6:26am On Nov 21, 2022 |
symbianDON:I understand but I had anger issues when I was her age (19), but somehow I grew up and learnt how to manage it. I remember cutting all my elder sis dress cus she offended me. Tried to hurt them. But now, I'm very calm and cool, I even become embarrassed remembering those things I did. I wasn't tamed, I just grew out of it |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by symbianDON(m): 6:32am On Nov 21, 2022 |
JOACHINpedro:the ball is in your court now...if you project that may change later, you could give a try. |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 6:41am On Nov 21, 2022 |
symbianDON:She will definitely do as she grows but I just hope she can control it for the time being I'm with her. Like, me not being hurt by her before she gets a hang of it. |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by Aguiyimba(m): 7:25am On Nov 21, 2022 |
JOACHINpedro: Op..... The reason she hasn't fight you, is she's saving for the object she will use to kill you. So relax, enjoy your time cos your death is coming soon. |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 7:30am On Nov 21, 2022 |
Aguiyimba:Na wah for you o. I'm to too young to die in the hands of kpekus |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by Fahvvy: 7:35am On Nov 21, 2022 |
It's funny when I see people defend a potential dangerous trait all because of love ... OP be saying that someone with anger issues aka "temperamental issues" can't hurt a fly, LMAO ... Oya let's analyze the issue... "I just had a lil issue..." You had a "little" issue and all hell broke loose and you're still considering staying? "Seriously, this babe tick all boxes any decent guy could wish for but that temperament issue is giving me concern." If you're concerned about the "temperamental issue", and you know you can't change her, then why are you still with her? "I don't wanna leave her cus I'm her first guy" So one of your reason for not wanting to leave her is because you're her first? How childish! ... "I'm not asking her to change, I don't even want her to change, I just want her to have control over her temperament" The main issue here is, does she want to change? Because want all you want, if she doesn't want it too and is not willing to put effort into controlling her "temperament", then you're in for a rude shock .... "She's sweet but when she's offended, she would just want to say it all in an aggressive way (She has never tried to fight me)." LMAO .. OP in your mind aggression is only physical or maybe you think that only physical assault can do damage ... Shey this one na learner ni ... OP... Are you aware that someone can make you commit sucide just by saying a few hurtful things to you? Are you also aware that hurtful words can be more destructive than a punch to the face? ... OP... No one can decide for you... But I'll leave you with two things to ponder on... 1. Is this girl doing anything at all to work on herself, even without you pushing her to do so? Because if you're the one pushing her to change her temperamental ways when she hasn't realized the need to do so on her own, what happens then when you stop pushing? Can you deal with the aftermath? ... 2. If you decide to marry this girl today, can you put up with *10 of her "temperamental issues"? Marriage doesn't change anyone, rather it makes one more comfortable ... A thief before marriage will be an even bigger thief after marriage... A cheat before marriage will be an even bigger cheat after marriage... A girl who can barely control her mouth when she's angry before marriage will likely not be able to do so even after marriage ... My opinion on the matter is... Before you make a decision eh... See some improvements first on this matter before you decide whether or not to stay... If she's doing something to work on herself and YOURE SEEING THE IMPROVEMENT, then stay, but if not... |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by Aguiyimba(m): 7:37am On Nov 21, 2022 |
JOACHINpedro: Okay |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by PerfectStranger(m): 7:41am On Nov 21, 2022 |
Aguiyimba: 1 Like
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Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by symbianDON(m): 7:47am On Nov 21, 2022 |
JOACHINpedro:hopefully. However, if along the way she isn't showing signs of changing, you should quit while you still can. |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 8:24am On Nov 21, 2022 |
Fahvvy:See eh, you just weak me with this fact. And for me being the first is a fact. My ex displayed what I hated about her due to her past relationship. But this my new girl is still new to anything relationship so her red flags weren't spurred from any bad relationship experience. And pls I never highlighted anything about love, I believe love is not enough in issues like this. Lastly, I've been in her shoes (temperamental) but in my case I wasn't tamed, I just grew out of it |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by SeriouslySense(m): 8:32am On Nov 21, 2022 |
Yes, if she is realizes the importance of self control and is committed to controlling her anger, she can have regain total control, of her temperament and can undo having the compulsion to anger. She can reverse the habit and replace it with a better one that is good for her and the people around her. JOACHINpedro: 1 Like |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by Nobody: 9:29am On Nov 21, 2022 |
If shes all you want, enroll her in anger management class with a therapist, relationship is about helping one another evolve into better persons. Nevertheless, if there is no change in behaviour after 3-6 months, kindly japa. I can't encourage anyone to be with someone who can't curtail his or her temper. Its dangerous. 2 Likes |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by Fahvvy: 11:19am On Nov 21, 2022 |
JOACHINpedro: Nowhere in my earlier write did I challenge this "fact" ... All i said was, if your being her first is the reason why you're considering staying with her despite her temperamental issues, then it's childish in my opinion ... And you said, you grew out of it, beautiful!! How are you sure she too will grow out of it? Is there a guarantee that she will? ... Peradventure she doesn't grow out of it, is she willing to do something about it? Is she willing to work on herself? Abi she's one of this "this is how I am" kinda girl ... Secondly, if she isn't willing to work on herself, can you put up with her temperamental issues long term and not make a big deal out of it? OP... See eh... I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, you're an adult and whatever decision you make now eh, I won't be there to partake in the outcome, whether it be good or bad ... All I'm saying is simple... CAN YOU DEAL WITH THIS TEMPERAMENTAL ISSUES LONG TERM WITHOUT COMPLAINING? There's no perfect person anywhere... People will ALWAYS have a flaw of some kind... Whilst some maybe willing to do something about it, others aren't... And so if you're considering getting involved with anybody, you need to ask yourself, can I deal with this person's bul.lshit? If yes, then you could consider getting involved, but if no, then you best walk away so you don't get hurt in the process and carry the emotional baggage to your next relationship ... |
Re: I Really Need Your Input In This Relationship Matter by JOACHINpedro: 11:55am On Nov 22, 2022 |
Fahvvy:Yes but if we could do smth about it, I will be glad to try it out. PS:she's not happy about it too |
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