Okay, i was going through my phonebook the other day, and i realised that aside from school mates and friends from church, every other guy is my 'toaster'. Some of them have been toasting me since forever. It's like if i say yes immediately, we'd start dating. That doesn't bother me much, since i've been in a serious relationship for the past 5yrs, and i've told all of them, but they seem to be waiting, incase i break up with my boyfriend.

Now my dilemma is this, there's one particular guy among them that has refused to let me be. While in d university, my 200L, we met at a fellowship conference, and he came from his university while my sch hosted. Since then, 6yrs now, he has been pestering me. I have a boyfriend i'm serious with and he is aware, but he keeps hanging around hoping we'd break up. I don't love him. I never have.

It has become obsessive that i'm scared. After we graduated 2 yrs bak, he tried as much as possible to influence his law sch to abuja, so we'd be together. He was unlucky and was posted to kano law school. Then wen it was time for our chamber attachment, he chose abuja again, infact a law office close to my house in abj, thinking i'd be there. He had 2 squat wit a friend, cos his folks are in kaduna. Unluckily for him, i was posted to a chamber in Garki. All thru d 3months attachment, we were able 2 see only three times.
Youth service, he wanted abuja again, but was thrown to gombe.


He pesters me to no end. Stalks me on facebook. Has downloaded all my pix from facebook and shows all his friends dt i'm his girlfriend. Infact a friend in kano campus was telling me everybody thinks we r dating.

Once when we were at d law sch, he came visiting out of d blue without telling me. Called me up at night that he was in front of my hostel. It was abt 2 rain heavily and very windy, and i decided to see him outside briefly. As soon as he saw me, he grabbed me and started kissing me. I reacted more out of shock than anything else and quickly extricated myself. But he wont let me live that one down, always saying we kissed, that there must be something between us.

Why i'm typing this *lenghty post* is because i'm at my wits end. I find myself pitying him at times. But i've neva felt anything for him. Even if i were to break up with my boyfriend today, i still wont accept him.

I need advice ASAP. My boyfriend has gotten wind of it, and has started asking who the guy is, that is always posting on my facebook n professing undying love. LOL. D last time we saw, i didnt knw he transfered most of his pictures 2 my phone (dunno why), my boyfriend promptly deleted all of them wen he saw them. We almost had a fight.

How do i deflect this kind of 'long toasting'. How long is too long? And i keep wondering if he has dated other chics dis whole 6yrs. It wud be really wierd if he hasn't.

Put your foot down as in cease all form of communication with this dude!

op

give me ur fone nos & u will know exactly how long it takes a real man 2 get a girl

@scooby1. I've tried dt in d past, it didnt work. Even if i were to do dt, he knws where i stay.

@Y MMM. No need for dt. Ilm nt searching.

u r his fantasy for sure, guess if u actively ignore him he ll forget about u with time .

seems like u have done ur best to ignore this crazy guy. i will advice u to bring in ur bf now or ur brother if u have any to tackle him.its sad wen some guys cant read between the line.this is so disgraceful for a guy to go that low.
he need somebody to slap some sense into his thick skull.

6yrs! Phew!! That is some serious case of obsession! But you must have been doing something to lead him on hence the "emergency" kissing. U need to remove all contact with him .i.e unfriend him on fb,remove his number from ur phone,scramble out his memory from ur brain etc And tell ur bf to walk u to d altar Asap!  
Na wetin we leave on ground goat dey chop

fatal attraction. i have always wanted to see a sequel of that wonderful movie

after thinking about it, i guess u like him

maybe the guy is sent from above   just meeting him in church activity tells me  i predict that soon you will find a fault in your boyfriend then u will have a changed mind about the 'send from above guy'    

em, u can test him by giving him something in btwn   and if he continue coming on you then mark my above words   just my idea , goodluck!

i've heard of such stories, though not with that time frame.

men sha.

reminds me of one guy like that with a similar crush on somebody- the boy snuck into the female hostel because of his lady love [or did he bribe security?] and was disturbing my beauty sleep because his crush wanted none of him.

spoilt rich guys

following girl at 10pm midnight

just blabbing but i love you blah blah blah to one spoilt rich girl

op hope i dont know you sha.

you suppose thank God say den dey toast you because some people dey find who go toast dem.

when you begin to repeat what you have said before

That prick aint nothing but a sucker for love. He'ld only end up making you bi headed.

It takes two 2 tango, I seriously believe u r enjoyin d attention from dis guy

But you kissed him   . Even if you he initiated it, there was still mouth contact. Whether you like it or not, you still have a part of you in him and a part of him in you. There was exchange of saliva, do you know what that means ?   . Take kia

With all his being posted here and there, im no see another babe toast?
Make im carry that infatuation rest for girl body wey want the guy jare.
small pikin.

obsession is a sign of a spouse-beater.

get the cop on dis stalker. hey wait. am gettin a psychic readin. u said u pity him, nope u dont u kinda feel for him bt u dont wanna admit it cos u r in a serious relationship already. u see d opposite of luv is nt hate. it is indiferent. u pity him dat means u hav an emotional attachment. pity is emotion too. ma 2 cent

NRI PRIEST:

seems like u have done your best to ignore this crazy guy. i will advice u to bring in your bf now or your brother if u have any to tackle him.its sad wen some guys cant read between the line.this is so disgraceful for a guy to go that low.
he need somebody to slap some sense into his thick skull.

He doesn"t want to conclude that she no want him hence trying harder. How do you espect one to read between the line when mostly of a girl says "no," she means "yes".

He probably thinks she will see him as a serious bloke after all these years

prodam:

after thinking about it, i guess u like him

AND BOB'S YOUR UNCLE.

But you kissed him   . Even if you he initiated it, there was still mouth contact. Whether you like it or not, you still have a part of you in him and a part of him in you. There was exchange of saliva, do you know what that means ?   . Take kia

OP, was the guy's last name Cork by any chance?

Seriously though, you need to take yourself a can of pep spray or something.
The next time he tries to tongue rape your face, slap him and react explosively so there is no room for "there must be something btwn us".

You seem like a mellow girl, but u gatsta flare up for this one.

@ OP I don't get it.  Some man is "stalking" you and your boyfriend only just got wind of it?  I can't blame him for being suspicious as you haven't handled this in a sensible way.

You are not serious about getting rid of this guy.  If you were remotely serious about your boyfriend you should be telling him everything about the other guy - that way he would know what to do when he saw the FB posts and pictures on your phone and wouldn't be asking you questions.   Is your "stalker" a friend on FB?  Why don't you remove him and block him if you aren't interested?

This is not "toasting", this is stupidity.  You need either male family or your boyfriend to deflect this guy.  No more taking his calls, or calls from any number you don't recognise.   If he calls and your boyfriend is around, get him to answer your phone.  It is not rocket science: the more you give his "toasting" attention, the more he feels you are interested in him.

Funny thing about life is, the guy might be one of these folks online saying "don't take that rubbish from him!  "   
Some tonzo guys don't really know when to back the hell off in 1st person perspective, but can tell it's wrong from the 3rd person perspective.

warrior101:

AND BOB'S YOUR UNCLE.

Meks22:

It takes two  2 tango, I seriously believe u r enjoyin d attention from dis guy

prodam:

after thinking about it, i guess u like him

Get my point?

He has already gotten to you my dear, that is painfully obvious to any guy who isn't busy tryna get with you. If your guy no seal the deal with you, he is going to lose you to this guy you are complaining about. You are just looking for validation for what you really WANT to do so let me be very clear with you. He obviously gets it, your the mumu who doesn't get it, and your bf is a bigger mumu coz he is about to be gamed!

vislabraye

are you the stalker in question?

@ Y M M M,na wa 4@u ooo,u r to profer solution bt urs is d opposite.Women r created 2 b toasted even men still toast d married ones.

Till death do u part, shikena.

@op

No sane naija man would chase a babe for 6 years when the babe is even in a relationship. Hope its not similar to that old naija movie brown powder that a mad man was obssessed with a lady that mistakenly applied jazz powder on the mad guy instead of her hubby.

I think babes read meaning to stuffs a lot. Men can flirt and act attached as a joke or to see if they can score but they would have their chick. 6 years ke in Naija & his family didnt try to break the spell & his friends didn't talk sense into him. Its only abroad dt they have stalkers but for celebs with cash & not mere mortals. Na babe scarce like that in this day and age. 1 or 2yrs is ok but 5 to 6yrs is so unrealistic except you are referring to a mad man.

If its true then he is a mad man or he has been told his success lies with you that you are his luck without u he won't get an organization of his own. u beta start fasting & praying.

Me sef sabi write scripts for naija movie.

I don't get it. Is that how scarce kitties have become in naija, that guys would be wasting time & resources chasing ONE (because that is really the ONLY thing that a guy can 'gain' from a girl). Na all these kain weak guys dey make ordinary girls overprice themselves come dey feel like superstar. One can understand a man chasing worthwhile things like money, jobs, contracts, salvation, power, etc. But chasing a kitty for years? Really? Where have all the real men gone?

Cherrybaby,, if we have the opportunity to do an independent investigation on
your fragile relationship with this guy, it will likely be revealed that you must have
collected or ve been collecting gifts from thid serious minded investor of time and
money.

Two, pls tell us whose kiss do you enjoy most btw this guy and ur acclaimed BF, I
trust that this guy must ve saved the best kiss 4 you to savour even after his departure
that faithful day.


Three, in NL and elsewhere, guys know that babes that proves this kind of delay are
the ones that truly loves the toaster and will almost kill if she discovers that the guy
has backed off or is now dating her best friend.

i am pretty sure that this guy remains ur plan B, God forbids, shud anything hapin to ur
bobo, i trust u can trust any other love than the one u ve seen wit ur korokoro eyes.


Four, my tips 4 u to adopt if truly u re not intrested is, one, arrange the guy 2 meet ur
BF and introduce ur BF 2 him and let ur BF know him as ur toaster. Two, show him a dummy
pregnancy , that u re now pregnant 4 ur BF and that the wedding is being fastracked.

Abi My fellow comrades wetin una think, me OTUNBA has spoken my yown.

^^are you the guy because your advice has k leg.