Too little information to enable a reliable advice.
Sorry about how you feel but it takes 2 of you speaking up to know what's wrong.
Also, how do we know your individual value systems and under what situations you both grew up?
What kinds of friends do you separately & collectively keep?
Give up more info if you really need good quality advice. Its hard, its tough a situation to be in. Be strong.

As a wife to you ,she should be submissive(abi no be bible talk am) , this is not some kind of bf & gf thing, you both should respect each others feelings, what she is doing now wont be tolerated by her if reverse be the case.

My dear she has an eye on the guy in question, me im not married but from the look of things, she is getting bored of you, try spice things up between you guys(gifts,romantic outings & stuff) she is seeking attention from the guy in question,if it continues like this it might lead to something else.

what are you doing man. take control of ur life. dont let a long stick ruin your life. she's running wild. Do paternity tests, report her to her folks, call for a family meeting, then decide how to move on. You have to consider the lil angels involved in this saga cos they are going to be the most affected, though the most innocent, thats why i haven't called for an outright sack. take care

WHEN A WOMAN START BEHAVING LIKE THIS , PLS STOP EATING HER FOOD, YOUR LIFE MIGHT BE IN DANGER. IF SHE KILLS YOU, IT WILL NOT TAKE HER 2 MONTHS TO RE-MARRY THIS GUY.

A WORD FOR THE WISE

Please send her packing ASAP.Nairaland should stop deceiving this guys and call a spade a spade.Their is no remedy, She is attached to her ex no matter what you do'she will stick to him, Please move on.The truth is always bitter.

@OP

Forget what this women are telling you.

YOUR WIFE IS CHEATING ON YOU WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

And she is taking your patience for granted.

Vary soon she will sell off your property and run away with her boyfriend.

Show her the YELLOW CARD now.

Let her know that divorce is an option if she continues that way.

You better do something, before something do you.

Rule number 1: If she's got an ex that she was intimate with, I won't marry her. Old flames don't die!

Rule number 2: [/b]If she double dates while we were together, I won't marry her. She will do it in marriage.

[b]Rule number 3: If she's got "her friends" and I've got "mine" and we don't have a larger pool of "joint friends". I am outta the relationship,

but guess non of this applies to you now.

Solution: Given the type of background your wife has, there are probably things she's beginning to appreciate in the people she left  to marry you or probably the fire is no longer in your relationship, you need to go back to what made her look up to you or find you adorable, she's most like getting bored.

rokiatu:

That  is your own side of the story. If I could hear hers, then maybe I could advice better.

I mean what make her to start dis-respecting you in the first place?

I hardly ever post on topics like these because of the sheer inanity i usually see. But this is a rather silly response.
What other 'side of the story' do you need to hear before you know it's wrong to send suggestive pics to an ex-lover?

the first thing you have to do is DNA test of the two kids you claim she had for you.  she probably might have never stopped dating that guy.

If you confirm the kids are biologically yours, then you can begin to look for a solution to the problem.

DNA test does not cost much.

It is your cross, continue with it.

Look for another wife,brings her in and make them two, that's why I love the Muslim

pro01:

I think some of us have taken this "there are two sides to a story" orientation too far.

Seriously. What kind of other side to a story are they looking for? who will come here to give them the second side?"

jennykadry:

Seriously. What kind of other side to a story are they looking for? who will come here to give them the second side?"

Your head is correct.

WhyAWhy:

Rule number 1: If she's got an ex that she was intimate with, I won't marry her. Old flames don't die!

Rule number 2: [/b]If she double dates while we were together, I won't marry her. She will do it in marriage.

[b]Rule number 3: If she's got "her friends" and I've got "mine" and we don't have a larger pool of "joint friends". I am outta the relationship,

but guess non of this applies to you now.

Solution: Given the type of background your wife has, there are probably things she's beginning to appreciate in the people she left  to marry you or probably the fire is no longer in your relationship, you need to go back to what made her look up to you or find you adorable, she's most like getting bored.

Old flames really hardly die
you made the first mistake of getting married to a lady who was unfaithful in courtship.
sorry but you cannot stop her.
she is just tired of hidding it from you so she has to smash it on your face.
probably she has been looking for a way to do things freely and with little arguement, she finds an excues.

This is serious issue ooo, however, for your wivy to act in such manner - could it be she's already on her way to quitting the marriage and would rather have you frustrated to declare it yourself? Another account could really be the "true paternity of those children: cos if they are not yours - then, she's gone already.

Call your wife and like a little angel whose got no sins, talk to her seriously but ensure you don't loose your balance on whatever her responses might be. Wish you luck.

My guy although I'm not a proponent of failed marriages/divorce I have to recommend some immediate steps to take because with what you've said above, if true can send u to an early grave.
1. With immediate effect lock up store
2. Send wife out/packing, it has to be done ruthlessly.
3. Send kids to ur mum or someone u feel can take care of them temporarily.
4. If she shows up with her people begging then she still wants to be married and there and then spell out ur terms for taking her back.
5. If she doesn't then ur wife's heart has been given to another man. So here ure faced with 2 lines of action to adopt. Wait until she realises she's been stupid or after waiting you move on with ur life.

Cheers mate it's up to you.

Fire on the mountain

I think he should gather the evidence after which tell her the marriage will not go on until she decides to tell you in the presence of her parents and your parents why she did that.

OP na dull man  

Your wife was so engrossed in her YIMMING with an ex that you had to beg her for food. rofl

Look,there is a certain aura every husband/man carries,the aura that makes the wife(no matter how mad/drunk she is) recognize the line and know when to quickly nip it in.You have lost yours(If you ever had it),get it back Mister!

You know what to do,DO IT already.

@Pro 01 =

I think some of us have taken this "there are two sides to a story" orientation too far. The only thing I would be interested in in a case like this is: is the poster's story TRUE? That's all. Is it true that his wife took intimate pictures of herself (in their marital bedroom of all places) and sent to another man? Is it true that she is still keeping in touch with her ex-boyfriend - chatting with him even in her husband's presence? Assuming that these allegations are true, then to what extent do I need to hear the wife's side of the story to determine anything? Is there ANY justification whatsoever for such actions on the part of the wife. . .regardless of whatever the husband might have done? Is there anything a husband can do that can make a wife justified in conducting an illicit affair with her ex (sending him pictures!) and brazenly 'disrespecting' her husband? These are the issues. I certainly don't belong in the school of thought that justifies or rationalizes a wife's cheating/disrespect on account of her husband's actions or inactions.

If anyone wants to advise the poster, he or she has to assume that he is telling the truth (as per his story). The issue of 'both sides to a story' only applies if one (or both) of the contending factions is telling an outright lie about what actually happened.

@Poster, no need for me to advise you. As some would already know, my advice in all these issues pertaining to uxorial infidelity/disrespect is always inexorably brutal. Besides you don't seem the sort of 'boss-man' that has ballz enough to do what you ought to do (which is what I would have advised) in the circumstance.

 


My bros, God bless you jare. We no want tell ourselves the truth we dey busy dey form mordern world. All the people wey dey give all the forgiving and good man advice go fit take the shit if e hit them?

jennykadry:

I think he should gather the evidence after which tell her the marriage will not go on until she decides to tell you in the presence of her parents and your parents why she did that.

Gather what eveidence? Na wa for some people sef. Until he comes home one day from work to see his wife giving her boyfriend BJ b4 he'll know what to do? Your wife has estimated u to  be a weakling. The only way to rectify the situation is to barbarically apply certain measures that will either fix it or stop the humiliation. Please note that babaric doesn't mean hitting ur wife. Just do something she never thought u'll do.

^^ You know, it wouldn't have cost you a dime to ignore my post.

The guy in question is such an Animal,what pleasure do he derive dealing with a second hand woman.
Anyway,if you can trace the guy and know the reason y he wouldn't let your family be,after doing the much you can and the relationship continues then give her say a year in the villa with hard labor i think that will teach her some lessons.

jennykadry:

^^ You know, it wouldn't have cost you a dime to ignore my post.

After seeing Yaba left on ur profile, I can only say 'NO VEX'. Ndo but na person life we dey talk about not ya own.

Better still consult your church leader/spiritual director who'll help and tell her the implication of what she is doing but don't divorce her because I know that one day,she'll come back to her senses

I sincerely do appreciate all the advice i have received so far, this story is 100% true and i have no reason to lie, right now i have sent her to her parents and i have the custody of the kids, I would have given her info out like BB PIN,phone number or name so she can be reached on face book but i still have to respect her privacy but if you care so much to help you can reach me on 080-623-20985.

^^ What help do you need that made you put your phone number out?

Or you need a woman to help you keep the bed warm tonight?

Try Aloyemeka

@ OP I feel ur pain. what you have to do is wait. if she comes with her family to beg, let her take an oath. If she is sleeping with the ex then please let her go. If she swears that she's not sleeping with him then spell out your terms and take her back .

@OP
Simply start an affair with another woman jare, Life is too short! But mark my words,when it comes to creeping around in relationships,women are always at the loosing end,on the long run. Be the MAN,and ensure you take care of the kids if and when your marriage eventually scatters. So,go out there,get a fresh,fine sista in her early or mid twenties,enjoy your life jorrrr, Life is short.
I'm serious o!

Lets call a spade a spade,Your wife is a bad woman,
Any married woman chating with her ex and forgeting that her man is back need a reality check.
This is why many men go fighting a man over their wife were as the woman is the one to be blames.

This might hurt cause am gonna be straight bro cause thats all you need.
Report your woman to her family and yours, Take a break from her withot any atom of regrate
see if she gonna change,she need to go back to her house and get good home training en advice from her family
if she comes back and refuse to change,then u should simply know that its over cause she must then be intoo deep with
an affair with this stupid ex of hers, sending her pics to the guy is a huge evidence of infidelity.plus skype en chating.
belive me when i say that the might have been having phone intimacy en shit cause thats what many stupid women today
are addicted to with strangers,their ex en shit!!!

This is one of the atitude from a woman that brings down a family.Man up en take a walk and let her realise that your the man
and shouldnt take such shit from her.That was not the reason u started a paid her bride price and stated a business for her.

if all this is done en she still fail to realise what she been duing wrong bro,then forget the marraige.worst thing a man can do is marrying and living with bad woman, u can develop stroke and die b4 ur time.

I wish she can come here and read this her self, and for all those talking trash about ur complains of opening a business and her not respecting you, thse are bunch of women with same problem.This was never how our mom treated our pops and they kept their marriage alive for over 50years

Non sence!!!!!

At poster,

Your marriage is already dead. No matter what, you can't wake up a dead donkey. She does it in front of you, that means she doesn't give a shot who you are. The kids may not be yours. Sorry!




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