You have been talking about you and your kids alot ,but the response alot of us wanna get from you is ; How is your wife reacting to this separation? What was her reaction when you asked her to leave for her parents place? What has she said to you?.

Those are the questions people are waiting to be answered. Enough of you already, what is her stand in all of these?

jennykadry:

You have been talking about you and your kids alot ,but the response alot of us wanna get from you is ; How is your wife reacting to this separation? What was her reaction when you asked her to leave for her parents place? What has she said to you?.

Those are the questions people are waiting to be answered. Enough of you already, what is her stand in all of these?

My dear, don't mind the sacerstic guy, is like his is not matured enough to get married and he did not love his wive at the begining he is just conterplating that his wive is still going out with the ex all because she have told him that she was still goin out with the guy before they got married that was why he is stiffing his noise on her wives private activities. He those not trust his wive simple. What about those of us that married nurses like my wive i trust her and she knows that and that is why she feels free to tell me things at work how she operates and handles men and womens private parts etc at work, you all knows doctors and what the can do, but for me? who cares.

jennykadry:

You have been talking about you and your kids alot ,but the response alot of us wanna get from you is ; How is your wife reacting to this separation? What was her reaction when you asked her to leave for her parents place? What has she said to you?.

Those are the questions people are waiting to be answered. Enough of you already, what is her stand in all of these?

Thank you my Brother, my wife has not made any effort to see me,her father only took her to the Registry to demand for the custody of the children. I was called by the Registrar that they want the custody of the children and i asked is`t the children they want or to reconcile the marriage and she told me they are asking for the custody of the children because they are still young. So what does that suggest to you? I will leave you to answer that question. My Mother is still alive and i have Brothers and Sisters they know very well, since i sent her to her parents have they made any effort to reach my people?? I will leave that for you to answer?? I can tell you that my wife has never called me on phone to plead or discuss this issue with me,she called the home phone yesterday and fortunately i was at home i answered the phone and asked what she wants and she said she wants to know how her children are doing and i asked her if that is all she wants to know she said "yes" and i told her they are doing good and she dropped. The issue is she has a bad father who is covering the evil of his child,i can assure you that i would have let everything go and bring her back but the position of her family especially her father and Brothers is sickening. When i went to the parents to complain, if the father had owned up to say what she did was bad and caution her like a father would do to an erring child we would not have had this thread but i was convinced by the actions of her father that her attitude will never change even if i take her back because she will never be told the truth by those who ought to tell her.

obiksam:

My dear, don't mind the sacerstic guy, is like his is not matured enough to get married and he did not love his wive at the begining he is just conterplating that his wive is still going out with the ex all because she have told him that she was still goin out with the guy before they got married that was why he is stiffing his noise on her wives private activities. He those not trust his wive simple. What about those of us that married nurses like my wive i trust her and she knows that and that is why she feels free to tell me things at work how she operates and handles men and womens private parts etc at work, you all knows doctors and what the can do, but for me? who cares.

I don`t want to reply your post because you don`t sound like a rational thinker but because today is Sunday and i have a little spare time i will just reply you. This is a public forum and you have the right to post whatever you feel like but i don`t think you have gotten children out of your so-called perfect marriage, otherwise you will understand what it means to call for separation/divorce when you have kids out of the relationship. I will only pray that you don`t go through what i am going through at the moment. And who told you i care about the private activities of my wife? It is one thing that lead to another that i got to see those pics in her mail box.

Sacarstic:

I don`t want to reply your post because you don`t sound like a rational thinker but because today is Sunday and i have a little spare time i will just reply you. This is a public forum and you have the right to post whatever you feel like but i don`t think you have gotten children out of your so-called perfect marriage, otherwise you will understand what it means to call for separation/divorce when you have kids out of the relationship. I will only pray that you don`t go through what i am going through at the moment. And who told you i care about the private activities of my wife? It is one thing that lead to another that i got to see those pics in her mail box.

There is nothing like being a rational thinker here, i only want you to re-consider what you are about to do that is all. Because you are going to leave with it for the rest of your live. (Do you have the mind. Don't 4get once you people are separated the pains will still be their and it will be mutiplying every seconds but if you forgv and take her back in few minutes all past is gone. remember the good times not the bad times. At list for the seek of your children there is nothing like mothers care and up bringing use ur self for an example and also the devil you no is better than that angel you don't no. And for your info my twins are just 9 months old now and i don't mean to disrespect your feelings in any way becus i no that marrage is not as easy as people think.

@Sarcastic:
First, you have to understand that this is a very public forum and as such, you would get nay sort of advice/insult/yabis, e.t.c, especially since such replies are "anonymous"! Do some sifting and take that which you fancy as useful.

I did take your response of 5:20am into consideration.
I am surprised that your wife did not make any effort at reconciliation (l hate to believe she is just not interested in the marriage anymore!).
Men can do 'shakara' a bit but deep down, they are waiting for the woman to show some recompense and they come running back like "little Mummy's boy!
I have actually seen that in your statement (that you're expecting to forgive her only if she could just show some remorse!)

Now, l would say "dont rush" into divorce straight-away. Watch how things unfold for now.

The one year separation is for you to clear your head and garner your feelings.
I am hoping your wife would realize that the window of opportunity is closing real fast.
Some women are arrogant and saying sorry/apologizing seems like its beneath them.
Am also shocked that she has gone to the Registry already! Its not a good sign at all.

Well, if you "misbehave" and you dont have someone "you respect" to bring you back to your senses, l guess all hope could be lost!
Her Dad needs to think whether its worth it to encourage her daughter this way.
"Good elders" (assuming he really did behave the way you said, l am giving him a lot of slack here!) always try to bring about amicable settlements of marital issues, NOT pour more fuel into the fire!

Am happy at your stance concerning your kids, too many men are being wrongly labelled "walk-away" Dads, these days. Do everything for them.

Thank your stars you're not resident "abroad" otherwise, you will be the one that will be thrown out of your house, you will beg to see your kids and upon it, you will be forced to pay "punitive rate" of child-support! For daring to challenge your wife!

Remember to allow the children 'full access' to their Mother, no one else can be their Mum.
Dont even talk her down in their presence.
When they mature and start asking questions, only then should you let them know why it went this way. Start documenting issues henceforth.

All said, l am still hoping your wife would realize her folly and retrace her steps.
Be willing to forgive EVERY GENUINE request for forgiveness and remorse, we also offend God, mind you!

By now, you've got enough "advice and insults".
Walk away from this thread. Its beginning to outlive its usefulness, believe me.

May god guide and give you wisdom henceforth.

Lastpage.

Take the Kids for paternity test

@Lastpage:

Thanks so much, I am out of this thread now.

@Poster Ure a dumb idiote . Did u come up to Nairaland to get views to know whether it's fair to divorce your wife? See how easy it is for you to jump out of your marriage. What gives u d guarantee that your next wife wouldn't cheat on u if like others have alleged here that your bedroom skills are dismal? Damn man that was fast. So hastily done. It seems uren't ready for marriage. Ure married already so make it work. Real men have learnt to develop patience as a virtue but you my 'friend' obviously is lacking in that area. U better pocket that your John thomas until u get signs to know whether to move on or to wait. Yes, it's true your father-in-law is an 'irrational being' if he acted that way. My father always tells my sisters that there are no rooms in his house so they better fight to make their marriages work. 7 sisters 6 happily married and the last one about to. I'm not saying they never had marital issues but then my father always took sides with their husband even when they(husbands) were wrong. All he needed to do was to call for the husband later and tell him his mistakes and that way they appreciate him(my dad) more.
I'll advice you and I'll make it short. Do not start dating other women, 2 wrongs don't make a right rather be patient. Do not go to see her parents anymore, don't accept any calls from them or her. If she really wants her marriage back, she'll come begging with her people. One thing you should understand is this. In the western nations the judge would require u to move out instead of your wife because of the kids but the Nigerian/African system produces more  results. When a woman is away from her kids and you stop all forms of communication between them then reality begins to dawn on her fast. So u'll get response time in a much shorter time and I bet you, your wife will be as good as new. If in three months you don't get the response you desire then you can set in motion more drastic moves like getting a very beautiful woman you know you can't marry and flaunt her about town. Do this for a month or 2 and if this doesn't work then take the high road.
It is very important you keep your John Thomas and don't go around eating another woman's food. You know how fast ladies want to lure including deceiving any man they deem of good marriage material.
So please listen and be patient.

lastpage:

@Sarcastic:
First, you have to understand that this is a very public forum and as such, you would get nay sort of advice/insult/yabis, e.t.c, especially since such replies are "anonymous"! Do some sifting and take that which you fancy as useful.

I did take your response of 5:20am into consideration.
I am surprised that your wife did not make any effort at reconciliation (l hate to believe she is just not interested in the marriage anymore!).
Men can do 'shakara' a bit but deep down, they are waiting for the woman to show some recompense and they come running back like "little Mummy's boy!
I have actually seen that in your statement (that you're expecting to forgive her only if she could just show some remorse!)

Now, l would say "dont rush" into divorce straight-away. Watch how things unfold for now.

The one year separation is for you to clear your head and garner your feelings.
I am hoping your wife would realize that the window of opportunity is closing real fast.
Some women are arrogant and saying sorry/apologizing seems like its beneath them.
Am also shocked that she has gone to the Registry already! Its not a good sign at all.

Well, if you "misbehave" and you dont have someone "you respect" to bring you back to your senses, l guess all hope could be lost!
Her Dad needs to think whether its worth it to encourage her daughter this way.
"Good elders" (assuming he really did behave the way you said, l am giving him a lot of slack here!) always try to bring about amicable settlements of marital issues, NOT pour more fuel into the fire!

Am happy at your stance concerning your kids, too many men are being wrongly labelled "walk-away" Dads, these days. Do everything for them.

Thank your stars you're not resident "abroad" otherwise, you will be the one that will be thrown out of your house, you will beg to see your kids and upon it, you will be forced to pay "punitive rate" of child-support! For daring to challenge your wife!

[size=22pt]Remember to allow the children 'full access' to their Mother, no one else can be their Mum.
[/size]Dont even talk her down in their presence.
When they mature and start asking questions, only then should you let them know why it went this way. Start documenting issues henceforth.

All said, l am still hoping your wife would realize her folly and retrace her steps.
Be willing to forgive EVERY GENUINE request for forgiveness and remorse, we also offend God, mind you!

By now, you've got enough "advice and insults".
Walk away from this thread. Its beginning to outlive its usefulness, believe me.

May god guide and give you wisdom henceforth.

Lastpage.

Now I agree with lastpage but do not agree with the part I highlighted above. U must show that you're a man and a tactical one at that. So like I said deny her access too those children. A woman's real torture will come from the lack of communication to her kids. Do not give the feeling that you want her back.

A lot of boys nowadays answering the name "men" shior.

You are still worried about children at this stage? You better start looking for another wife, still waiting for remorse shior. This guy just dey vex me.

@Sarcastic:

While I sympathize with you in your present predicament, the truth must be said that you caused this problem. The tell-tale signs were there that your wife was becoming unruly and non-submissive all along (may be cheating was just a fallout of that) but you didn't act when you were supposed to. I hope this serves as an eye-opener to all men who still don't know when to call the shots in their marriages.

As a man in the real sense of the word, your policy should be :-

Give your wife love, peace, tranquility, romance, mutual respect, and every other good thing you can think of in any good marriage. At the same time, let her know that you're capable of doing unpredictable things if taken for granted. In other words, she dictates what she wants (whether good or bad) and you give them to her double!!! That way, she will take you to be a serious and a no-nonsense man and will always be conscious of not crossing mutually set boundaries. But this advice is no longer relevant to you Sarcastic as this is what you needed to have done right from the onset of your marriage. You don't bend a fish when it's dry.

I've overheard a woman telling her friends in the presence of her mother that "my husband is a no-nonsense man, don't pray to meet him in a bad mood!" That's how to be a man, not pleading with her to serve you food when she's there chatting and exchanging pics with one irresponsible man over the internet. I personally would have smashed that PC or whatever the means of communication was between her and her so-called ex before having the sanity to utter a word especially when I know the guy was someone she had been intimate with in the past (but no physical violence to her, the kids or any other person around). And by the time she eventually finds out what the issue was (assuming she didn't know), I guess she would have been the one running all over the place seeking ideas/ways on how best to resolve the problem.

I can only pray and wish the best for you as you move on now as it's obvious your wife is on her way out with her father's open support and lack of remorse on her part. But in all sincerity, if she comes back remorseful with her father eating the humble pie, please do accept her back with both hands and forge ahead with your marriage. The disadvantages of a failed marriage are far more over-whelming than the benefits if any at all.
Good luck.

My Rav4:

@Sarcastic:

While I sympathize with you in your present predicament, the truth must be said that you caused this problem. The tell-tale signs were there that your wife was becoming unruly and non-submissive all along (may be cheating was just a fallout of that) but you didn't act when you were supposed to. I hope this serves as an eye-opener to all men who still don't know when to call the shots in their marriages.

As a man in the real sense of the word, your policy should be :-

Give your wife love, peace, tranquility, romance, mutual respect, and every other good thing you can think of in any good marriage. At the same time, let her know that you're capable of doing unpredictable things if taken for granted. In other words, she dictates what she wants (whether good or bad) and you give them to her double!!! That way, she will take you to be a serious and a no-nonsense man and will always be conscious of not crossing mutually set boundaries. But this advice is no longer relevant to you Sarcastic as this is what you needed to have done right from the onset of your marriage. You don't bend a fish when it's dry.

I've overheard a woman telling her friends in the presence of her mother that "my husband is a no-nonsense man, don't pray to meet him in a bad mood!" That's how to be a man, not pleading with her to serve you food when she's there chatting and exchanging pics with one irresponsible man over the internet. I personally would have smashed that PC or whatever the means of communication was between her and her so-called ex before having the sanity to utter a word especially when I know the guy was someone she had been intimate with in the past (but no physical violence to her, the kids or any other person around). And by the time she eventually finds out what the issue was (assuming she didn't know), I guess she would have been the one running all over the place seeking ideas/ways on how best to resolve the problem.

I can only pray and wish the best for you as you move on now as it's obvious your wife is on her way out with her father's open support and lack of remorse on her part. But in all sincerity, if she comes back remorseful with her father eating the humble pie, please do accept her back with both hands and forge ahead with your marriage. The disadvantages of a failed marriage are far more over-whelming than the benefits if any at all.
Good luck.

The bolded part is a masterpiece of an advice. It works like a charm; I know from experience. Echoes of Machiavelli: "it's better to be feared than loved". . .or better still 'speak softly but carry a big stick'. It's difficult if not impossible for women to behave themselves and/or respect a man who they deem to be soft or incapable of drastic action. The universality of this fact is almost scientific.

^^^^^^Too much Machiavelli my friend!

Love itself, is a thing of the "Heart" and very very unpredictable!

I would actually say "Unscientific"!

"Fear" does not command respect, it may command "obedience" as long as that "source of fearful power exists" (nothing in life is permanent!, not even Power!!) but will as quickly as evaporate once that source diminishes or disappears!

Love on the other hand, commands "willful submission", which outlasts any ephemeral power.

BTW: God forbid, if you exercise "fear" in a relationship and then due to illness, Paralysis occur! to the wielder of such Power/fear.
What do you think the 'subject of that fear/power' will turn to?

Cheers Bro, l do enjoy reading your posts.

Lastpage.

I think u should sit her down and tell her u aw u feel abt ur marrige,her response wil determine ur next step of action.

in dis case, i wont blame just d woman that is involve, how about that useless God forsaken man dat knows a woman is married and still go ahead to flirt with her even in her matrimonial home? God! some men/women ar just too shameless

^^^Unfortunately, IT TAKES TWO PEOPLE TO TANGO!

If an ex-lover "approaches you amorously", as a decent married woman, you "embarrass him off"!
If he persists, you report him to your husband and let him handle the ex-lover from there.

The responsibility for "any type of contract" (offer and acceptance) rests mostly with the person that 'accepts" an offer!
Any clown can make an offer, whether it is accepted is KEY!

Lastpage!


BTW: Na woman dey get bellee O! Not the man!!

cool

She is either phocking him or she will soon phock him

option 1-

Pretend you have a girlfriend, works most times

option 2-
if kids were not involved  , i will say begin to move one leg out,

option 3
Knead your wife: A woman only cheats when she is not being pounded with iron at home.
Do her with every karma sutra available.
In short gym her, make that BF seem a poor player,
Mix alomo with opa eyin, make sure she is screaming do you want to kill me, pls note your pipe is the cane o no go beat your wife o only a good and consistent phock can help this matter and provide a home for your kids where mum and dad exist, it may seem trivial but if only you guess, give it to her whether she wants it or not, every style every how, best of luck, or let the BF help u out..


Just went bck to read your other post,
ah i no no say water don sweep gari away, well none of the above options is gonna work mate,
Your wife is no longer your wife, painful as it is , and i feel for you
There are 2 types of cheating emotional and phockational
Your wife's own is emotional , shame!!!!
Address custody so your kids get a balanced love from you both
Many fishes in the river: you can never force someone to love you, no pining, just call NEXT

The solution is try to "Get A Life!!!". Checking your wife's email inbox is not acceptable, your comment shows a bit of insecurity. Your marriage lacks trust and its emanating from you, occupy yourself with new hobbies, focus on your career, go have friends and trust your wife or else you would have hypertension and spoil your good marriage. Trust me i know this.

//

This may be an old topic,but i have learned soo much.
(To any of the above posters who see's this)Thank you*bows head*

See jolosi o!
Abi you dey fia say im 'tin' sweet pass ya own?