Can You Continue With The Marriage? - Family (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by OYINBOGOJU(m): 9:40pm On Sep 02, 2011 |
She still want to explore more of life outside marriage Sooner or later she will come back to her senses but for now, i don`t think you can do much to stop her unless she decided to stop by herself. If you force her then get ready to get marathon lies in the next couple of years, |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by abbey621(m): 10:48pm On Sep 02, 2011 |
It's amazing to read the comments of most women on this thread, if it was the other way around, I wonder what most of you would say. Let me rephrase that, I know what most of you would say: That the man is selfish, inconsiderate and the woman should leave him. @poster- It's time you wake up, she has already crossed the boundaries, unfortunately I suspect you may have had something to do with it, either you over pampered her or neglected her, either way a relationship is a two way street, sit her down and talk, if that doesn't work, end the marriage b4 she kills you, |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 11:41pm On Sep 02, 2011 |
i tink itz simple. . . Ur bed grades may be low. Bt datz nt enuf reasn 4 ha to do sh*t. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 12:00am On Sep 03, 2011 |
This is what happens when you fall in love with a b.i.t.c.h. There is no justification whatsoever for a married woman to be sending nude pics to an ex, so ladies such as Rokiatu and Mrs Chime, stop asking irrelevant questions. @OP, man up and sit her down, be aggressive, and demand if she does it again, you ending the relationship. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 12:02am On Sep 03, 2011 |
I'm not a proponent of divorce but this is one circumstance where even the bible supports (one party has commited adultery). throw that woman out of your house and get the court to give u full custody of your kids. Cest fini. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 12:24am On Sep 03, 2011 |
I am beginning to doubt this story, why did Op leave his number here? Abi he is looking for female sympathizers? second off his last response does not just fit in. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 12:31am On Sep 03, 2011 |
jennykadry: |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by akj2000: 12:34am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Once a woman does not respect her husband again indirectly she telling u she has someone more respectable than her husband. No matter what she is going through, it is part of marriage experience but she need not to indulge in extra marital affairs. On your own part, Guy, money isn't d only happiness in marriage. Do you satisfy her sexually? What would made a married woman to remember her ex if she is satisfied by you. Take your time, think of what could have made her started this before you take any further step. For her to have married u, i believe she loves but if you are not meeting up/out pass d sexual performance of her ex she will keep on remembering him. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by emmatok(m): 1:38am On Sep 03, 2011 |
akj2000: Do you expect the man to kill himself for his wife? Marriage is all about sacrifice, You can never get what you want, you have to manage what you have . That woman is insatiable, i can never live with such a person. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Sacarstic: 6:15am On Sep 03, 2011 |
All NL i am sorry if you find my phone number posted as offensive but i did it so that those who doubt the authenticity of this story can reach me to verify my story,i am not seeking for sympathy or love from the opposite sex at this time as i am still nursing the injury i have already sustained from my wife. I just need your advice and i am happy with the response i am getting even those who try to bash me, it is a path towards a better future for my kids and i. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 8:12am On Sep 03, 2011 |
//. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by blackgucci(m): 8:19am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Sorry your marraige has ended time to plot an exit. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by obiksam(m): 8:27am On Sep 03, 2011 |
First, did you confront her showing her the pictures right there? and what was her reaction when you confronted her. If you didn't then you made a mistake Secondly, did you tell her parent at the first time you cut her? If you didn't then you made a mistake too . My advice is this go and tell her parent and your parent what is happening definitely they will ask her and she will insult and got mad at you use this opportunity and tell her that you have forgiving her but if you hear nor see any thing concerning that guy, that you will send her parking and no human on earth can make you change your mind. After that ignore her of any bad attitudes and watch out very carefuly and don't be jealous still trust her and don't entefer in her private live. If it repeat it self again send her parking to her parent as for you children send them to your parent if your work is too tight. No that you are the man of the house and your say is final is not by shouting. Send her parking and if any of your friend ask you tell them that you have send her parking simple no explanation of what happened and stop listening to there advice. I pray to God to help you |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Sacarstic: 8:41am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Sacarstic: chaircover: I have reported the matter to her parents,i was astonished when her father stood on the defensive and asked me if she was actually going out with the guy while married and i told him how would i know but the pictures should speak for itself and he told me that if she is going out with him,it is wrong to send those pics to him but if she is not going out with him then there is nothing wrong with it, her mother who sat close to the father at this time burst into tears insisting that her father is wrong in his judgment, i spoke with the Dad one on one and showed him the pics but he is so narrowly minded and i realized that he has a problem with his value system. I have only sent her to her parents to enable me come up with a decision. I cannot say where the Ex lives because i really never cared about him, i doubt if it is an online relationship but you know emails,skype and facebook and sure mediums for fast communication today. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by obiksam(m): 9:16am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Ok if that is the case. Zero your mind that she is cheating on you, now i understand you are just predicting that she is still going out with the ex she told you about. Now listen, to be a happy man again develop trust where your wife is forget about the past now before you distroy your self and your children. When the mother is against what she did, visit her talk to her that she should help you talk to your wife that you still love her, keep presurizing the mum to beg her to stop the net stuff at list after three days go back with your children and beg her to come home and stop those bad attitudes for the seek of your children if it calls for you to cry in front of every body while begging do cry it will have impact on her i promise you she will change |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by geosegun(m): 9:26am On Sep 03, 2011 |
obiksam: Wrong Advise. Until she realizes her mistakes and accept her shortcomings, never consent to the above advise. if you do, i bet you are digging your grave. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 9:56am On Sep 03, 2011 |
// |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by obiksam(m): 10:22am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Yes, To forgive and to forget is the key power of long and happy marrage she have done it is that she have done it so what are you to do for her not to do it agian that suppose to be the question every one have to look for an answer to. Weather she stays in her parents house for years she is still his wife, marry another wife or not she is still his wife. For married man like me who is following this topic up we know all prone in marrage so let tell this guy that sending her wife away is not the best way to handle this kind of issue chaircover: |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by georgesylva(m): 10:30am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Man d only reason ur wyf is lukin @ her Ex is cos he's bcomin more interestin. B creativ man. Snd her swit txts, cal her wen u r @ work 2 tel her u lv her, mak hr fil lyk d most importnt persin on earth, tel hr swit wrds. Its nt jst settin up a busines 4 her. Ryt nw u r in a competition which u @ advantage cos she's ur wyf. WIN HER HEART BACK! |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by ogbongzky(m): 10:34am On Sep 03, 2011 |
what do you expect from someone double dating when things were serious btw both of u? a cheat will always be a cheat jare. Tel her parents asap and start doing similar thing with another babe too and let her be aware of it. Shikena! Time no dey oooo  |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 10:37am On Sep 03, 2011 |
// |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by netghost: 10:43am On Sep 03, 2011 |
OPTIONs: 1. kill her and bury her in your backyard, 2. get a divorce lawyer 3. kill the guy and bury him in his own backyard 4. kill yourself, the burial will be the least of your problems 5. kill her, the man, your kids and yourself 5. pray to GOD personally i will advice you consider options 1-5, but if you must disagree then i will advice you go with 5 |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Ferdinandu(m): 10:53am On Sep 03, 2011 |
To me if it is true that she is sending all those pics even from their master bedroom to her Ex after more than 4 years of marriage then this is infidelity. Man your marriage is crashing before ur eyes. Call her and talk things over if u still care about the marriage |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Nobody: 10:58am On Sep 03, 2011 |
.... |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by deloon(m): 11:18am On Sep 03, 2011 |
^^ I totally agree with you man. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by deloon(m): 11:22am On Sep 03, 2011 |
netghost:I'll seriously consider options 1-3  Then on second thoughts, I'll go with 6 and 7 |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by coogar: 11:35am On Sep 03, 2011 |
there are too many simpletons on this thread chatting rubbish . . . if it's true the op has found pictures of his wife being sent to an ex-lover, then the wife has cheated. i don't blame the wife. . . .i blame the poster. this woman cheated on you before but you still foolishly went ahead to marry her out of sentiments. a girl that cheated in her teens will cheat in marriage. it's like cancer - it does not stop. now that you have managed to get yourself a cheating wife, deal with it. you forgave her before, you can forgive her again. if i decide to buy a 3rd hand car, i should not complain when the engine gives me problems every now and then. . . |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by geosegun(m): 11:37am On Sep 03, 2011 |
Where are the ladies on NL. They were the first to comment on this issue. now that story is true. they have gone into hiding  .and talk about a Dad that support her daughter's infidelity. One can see the kind parents we have in a typical African settings now a days. When the ladies know the tides is against them. they keep mum except the ones with good virtues like "CHAIRCOVER" @POSTER; SHE IS STILL YOUR WIVE AT LEAST FOR NOW. IF YOU TRULY LOVE HER AND YOU HAVE A FORGIVEN HEART YOU SHOULD HANDLE THIS WITH CARE. PLEASE NOTE THAT HER PARENT MUST NOT FORCE YOU TO TAKE HER BACK IN THE NAME OF ELDERLY RESPECT. YOU MUST BE GIVEN YOUR OWN RESPECT AS WELL. UNTIL SHE IS TRULY SORRY FOR HER ACTIONS, BONE  AND PLAY AWAY GAME IF YOU GOT THE HEART. BUT BE CAREFUL SHA.NB: She may not have got anything to do with the ex. i think she was still ni the process. She has got back, she may need not send pics again since hey had been seeing each other regularly" but i think they are just trying to get back. Its good their plan got scuttled b4 its gone haywire. If she is relorseful take her back, but until then. you gat to show that it is a man's world |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by lastpage: 3:15pm On Sep 03, 2011 |
What is wrong, is wrong! For any spouse (man or woman) to be sending suggestive bedroom pictures to an ex-lover, is disrespectful to the institution of marriage itself! What morals would you then teach your children in future or are we surprised at this "internet promiscuity" that seems to be in vogue now? Whether a man "physically" lies and penetrates you in person or you say so much romantic things over FBook/Skype/YahooMessenger, e.t.c, it is no secret that you can achieve the same "intimate gratification" or Org.asm! It is infidelity, SIMPLES! My problem is that women dont generally cheat as much as men. Men see it as a game or adventure (and do it a lot) but dont invest their emotions in it (and would stop it easily if they decide to do so). Women on the other hand, dont rush into cheating but "if and when they do", it is seriously emotionally involved and very difficult, if not impossible to stop! The problem is even made worse because your wife has not become remorseful, sorry and therefore on her way to seeking forgiveness and redemption. O'dikwa dangerous right now! If she sees her folly, feels truly sorry, pleads to be forgiven and promise to be faithful, PLEASE FORGIVE HER (l know its very difficult, you will always remember this period, for the rest of your life) if you forgive her, encourage that you both pray TOGETHER, hopefully, the spiritual bonding will cleanse your own spirit while making her resolve to be faithful, much more stronger. Any other thing apart from this, please seek "an amicable divorce". Make sure you go through it COMPLETELY/LEGALLY, no half-measures. Dont wish her bad or hurt her in anyway. Dont get violent either. Its her choice, she has chosen, let her take responsibility for her choice. Be completely responsible for your kids and move-on with your life. People make mistakes in the choice of a life partner, just like we make mistakes in the choice of buying a car! Shyte happens! You by the wrong one, you re-sell it and move on by buying another one in future. Just dont make the same mistake a second time o! Wish you strength and God's wisdom as you move forward. Lastpage BTW: Keep some records of her current shenanigan (video, audio, snap-pictures of online escapades, e.t.c), a day will come when you will have to "answer to your children" about your decisions. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by netghost: 5:19pm On Sep 03, 2011 |
deloon: |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by wazobiang: 7:14pm On Sep 03, 2011 |
no i won't be a man live without her. in the same house or different house. mirror her actions, do the same think. |
| Re: Can You Continue With The Marriage? by Sacarstic: 4:51am On Sep 04, 2011 |
Thank you all NLs for your contribution towards my thread, to say i have benefited immensely from your advice would be an understatement. I have finally decided to move ahead with my life after careful and prayerful consideration of the issue having taking the welfare of the kids into consideration. I have finally sent the kids to my Mum and i want to be separated from her for at least 1yr then i will file for divorce. I am convinced that she is not my wife but she got married to me because i probably was the only one willing to take her to the alter at that point in time. I cannot be an alternative. I am not afraid neither am i too proud to admit my mistakes and as such i cannot put up with one who feels he/she is infallible. In today`s world it seems to have become impossible for people to accept that in their actions and conduct there are some benchmarks below which we must not go, if we do then we may just be pulling down a symbol or structure beyond us. I feel really hurt seeing my kids leaving the comfort of my home to stay with my Mum, it is never my wish or plans for them, as they say that is the irony of life, It is a bitter pill that i have swallowed it is just a matter of time,the bitter taste will soon go off my taste bud, |
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