The prophet (saw) said that guys should look up for the following in a lady:BEAUTY,WEALTH,RELIGION and BACKGROUND.....But he placed more emphasis on religion.So,i think that makes more sense

deols:

@bros Sino, na wa o..so because of furniture u wan go for hausa bride ehn? If it was for the beauty I for support u o..

my sister, no be so o, i just liked their simple way of doing things ni o, unlike the yorubas with so much effizy and razzmatazz.
On a serious note, i believe there is nothing wrong, in fact it should be encouraged, whereby the families of both the bride and groom come together to render support for the couples(not the support of buying cow and drinks for the ceremony), especially if they are already due for nikkah but having difficulty of accomodation and other basic needs.

jaylehk: The prophet (saw) said that guys should look up for the following in a lady:BEAUTY,WEALTH,RELIGION and BACKGROUND.....But he placed more emphasis on religion.So,i think that makes more sense

Very Correct, let me buttress this point with an Hadith which I came across sometimes ago:

The Prophet said, what translated means "This life is a joy and its best joy is a good wife." [Muslim], also, "A women is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her fame, for her beauty and for her (adherence to) religion. So marry one for her religion and you will win." [Bukbari & Muslim] and,

"Four are causes of happiness,: A good wife, a big house, a good neighbor and a good way of transportation. "[Al-Hakim].
The above Hadiths emphasize the importance of marrying a good Muslim woman. This is why Muslim men should always seek such women to be happy in this life.

Following are some of the characteristics of a good wife:
1. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husband's property, etc). [4:34]. Ibn Katheer said, "Ibn Abbas said, 'The righteous women are obedient to their husbands (Qanitaat). Also ibn Katheer said, "Imam Suddi said, 'They (good wives) protect their husbands' honor and money in their absence."'

2. Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet said, what translated means, "If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.

3. -- The Prophet said, what translated means, "Your women who will enter Paradise are those nice to their husbands, who bear children, and those who keep checking the needs of their husbands. If her husband gets angry with her, she would hold his hand and say : "By Allah, I will not sleep until you forgive me" [as-Silsilah as-Sahiha]

4. -an-Nasa'i narrated that the Prophet was asked, "Who are the best of women?" HE said, "The one who pleases him (her husband) if he looks at her, obeys him if he orders (her) and does not subject her honor or money to what he dislikes."


From the above Hadiths, we can sum up the characterisitcs of a good wife:

1--She is a good Muslim, obedient to Allah and His Messenger.
2--She performs the five regular prayers and fasts Ramadhan.
3--She is obedient to her husband, unless he orders her to do evil.
4--She protects her husband's money and honor in his absence.
5--She is always nice to her husband, checking on his needs.
6--She always tries to please and calm him if he is angry or upset.
7--She bears his children and does not ask him for divorce for no reason.
8--She tries to always look and smell nice for her spouse.

Wizeboy: Very Correct, let me buttress this point with an Hadith which I came across sometimes ago:

The Prophet said, what translated means "This life is a joy and its best joy is a good wife." [Muslim], also, "A women is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her fame, for her beauty and for her (adherence to) religion. So marry one for her religion and you will win." [Bukbari & Muslim] and,

"Four are causes of happiness,: A good wife, a big house, a good neighbor and a good way of transportation. "[Al-Hakim].
The above Hadiths emphasize the importance of marrying a good Muslim woman. This is why Muslim men should always seek such women to be happy in this life.

Following are some of the characteristics of a good wife:
1. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husband's property, etc). [4:34]. Ibn Katheer said, "Ibn Abbas said, 'The righteous women are obedient to their husbands (Qanitaat). Also ibn Katheer said, "Imam Suddi said, 'They (good wives) protect their husbands' honor and money in their absence."'

2. Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet said, what translated means, "If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.

3. -- The Prophet said, what translated means, "Your women who will enter Paradise are those nice to their husbands, who bear children, and those who keep checking the needs of their husbands. If her husband gets angry with her, she would hold his hand and say : "By Allah, I will not sleep until you forgive me" [as-Silsilah as-Sahiha]

4. -an-Nasa'i narrated that the Prophet was asked, "Who are the best of women?" HE said, "The one who pleases him (her husband) if he looks at her, obeys him if he orders (her) and does not subject her honor or money to what he dislikes."


From the above Hadiths, we can sum up the characterisitcs of a good wife:

1--She is a good Muslim, obedient to Allah and His Messenger.
2--She performs the five regular prayers and fasts Ramadhan.
3--She is obedient to her husband, unless he orders her to do evil.
4--She protects her husband's money and honor in his absence.
5--She is always nice to her husband, checking on his needs.
6--She always tries to please and calm him if he is angry or upset.
7--She bears his children and does not ask him for divorce for no reason.
8--She tries to always look and smell nice for her spouse.

@bolded. Awwwwwwwww! How sweet! I want a wife like that! In fact, I pray for one!

maclatunji:

@bolded. Awwwwwwwww! How sweet! I want a wife like that! In fact, I pray for one!

Amen and me too... but we MEN must be prepare to be good husband also.

Wizeboy: Amen and me too... but we MEN must be prepared to be good husband also.

Don't let me smack you there. Let me savour the hadith

Wizeboy: Amen and me too... but we MEN must be prepared to be good husband also.

But jokes apart, you are 100% correct.

maclatunji:

Don't let me smack you there. Let me savour the hadith

maclatunji: But jokes apart, you are 100% correct.

Maa Salam

Wizeboy:






Maa Salam

Bi Salam

@wizeboy,this 1 of da bst coment av seen on dis thread.The men also shud emulate d xter of d prophet .

jaylehk: The prophet (saw) said that guys should look up for the following in a lady:BEAUTY,WEALTH,RELIGION and BACKGROUND.....But he placed more emphasis on religion.So,i think that makes more sense

Actually, the prophet did not ask men to look for these things. he said people seek these things and the best is religion.

I however have seen many 'religious' men who are not necessarily good husbands/fathers. Ironically though, the prophet mentions that the best of Muslims(saying, the best of you) are those who are best to their wives and in another narration, who are best to their families.

sino:

my sister, no be so o, i just liked their simple way of doing things ni o, unlike the yorubas with so much effizy and razzmatazz.
On a serious note, i believe there is nothing wrong, in fact it should be encouraged, whereby the families of both the bride and groom come together to render support for the couples(not the support of buying cow and drinks for the ceremony), especially if they are already due for nikkah but having difficulty of accomodation and other basic needs.

I agree with you. Parents shouldnt wait until their girls bring bele home or when the boys do the undo before rushing things. Yoruba Muslims(really enlightened ones) are also, nowadays helping their Children start up.

Wizeboy:


From the above Hadiths, we can sum up the characterisitcs of a good wife:

1--She is a good Muslim, obedient to Allah and His Messenger.
2--She performs the five regular prayers and fasts Ramadhan.
3--She is obedient to her husband, unless he orders her to do evil.
4--She protects her husband's money and honor in his absence.
5--She is always nice to her husband, checking on his needs.
6--She always tries to please and calm him if he is angry or upset.
7--She bears his children and does not ask him for divorce for no reason.
8--She tries to always look and smell nice for her spouse.

and the good husband should?

deols:
Actually, the prophet did not ask men to look for these things. he said people seek these things and the best is religion.
I however have seen many 'religious' men who are not necessarily good husbands/fathers. Ironically though, the prophet mentions that the best of Muslims(saying, the best of you) are those who are best to their wives and in another narration, who are best to their families.
I agree with you. Parents shouldnt wait until their girls bring bele home or when the boys do the undo before rushing things. Yoruba Muslims(really enlightened ones) are also, nowadays helping their Children start up.

@bold VERY CORRECT

deols:
and the good husband should?

you can help us with that

deols:

and the good husband should?

why are you so jealous deols

Anyway, the following are the characteristics of a good husband that I have read:

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “The best of you is the best one to his family.” [Al-Tabarani]

To share food with her, to provide her with (decent) clothes as he provides himself, to refrain from smacking her, and not ignoring her but in the house. [Ahmad]

Fear Allah in (treating) women. [Muslim]

One should not hate his wife. If he dislikes some of her attitudes, he would (surely) like others (attitudes). [Muslim]

Woman was created from a bent rib and will not be made straight for you on one way (that you like). If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you want to straighten her up, you will break her. Breaking her is divorcing her. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Do (volunteer) fasting (some days) and do not fast (in other days), pray at night (some nights) and sleep (in other nights). Your body has a right on you (to rest), your eye has a right on you (to sleep), and your wife has a right on you. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing that Allah brings through it a great deal of good. [4:19]

The Prophet (Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said,”A Dinar (a currency) that you spend on your family, a Dinar that you spend on a poor person and a Dinar that you spend in the sake of Allah. The one that carries the most reward is the one that you spend on your family.” [Muslim]

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said to Saaid ibn Abi Waqqas,”Know that no charity that you give whether small or large, for the sake of Allah, but you will be rewarded for it, even the bite (of food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” [Bukhari & Muslim]


Maa Salam...

Wizeboy: why are you so jealous deols?



Maa Salam...

#LOL, I wonder.

Wizeboy: why are you so jealous deols

Anyway, the following are the characteristics of a good husband that I have read:

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “The best of you is the best one to his family.” [Al-Tabarani]

To share food with her, to provide her with (decent) clothes as he provides himself, to refrain from smacking her, and not ignoring her but in the house. [Ahmad]

Fear Allah in (treating) women. [Muslim]

One should not hate his wife. If he dislikes some of her attitudes, he would (surely) like others (attitudes). [Muslim]

Woman was created from a bent rib and will not be made straight for you on one way (that you like). If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you want to straighten her up, you will break her. Breaking her is divorcing her. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Do (volunteer) fasting (some days) and do not fast (in other days), pray at night (some nights) and sleep (in other nights). Your body has a right on you (to rest), your eye has a right on you (to sleep), and your wife has a right on you. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing that Allah brings through it a great deal of good. [4:19]

The Prophet (Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said,”A Dinar (a currency) that you spend on your family, a Dinar that you spend on a poor person and a Dinar that you spend in the sake of Allah. The one that carries the most reward is the one that you spend on your family.” [Muslim]

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said to Saaid ibn Abi Waqqas,”Know that no charity that you give whether small or large, for the sake of Allah, but you will be rewarded for it, even the bite (of food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” [Bukhari & Muslim]


Maa Salam...

Well done!

salamalekum my muslim brodaz n sisx, no perfection in either a man or a woman, lets jst liv evrytin 2 Allah subanawataAllah 2 gud us n lead us 2 d rite path in getting mr or mrs rite, tanx

adeshina86: salamalekum my muslim brodaz n sisx, no perfection in either a man or a woman, lets jst liv evrytin 2 Allah subanawataAllah 2 gud us n lead us 2 d rite path in getting mr or mrs rite, tanx

I concur and endorse this message.

This is a powerful statement; Our communities face these problems.... I am so glad, He spoke about them, I will like to hear deols comment on this...

Habib Ali passionately talks about the compulsion placed on Muslims in ensuring that the treatment of women within the community is done in a just manner. He outlines the Prophetic tradition on how the measure of goodness is tied to the goodness to women.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZG6ibK8mwo&feature=player_embedded

May Allah guide this ummah... Where are the men of this ummah?

Wizeboy: why are you so jealous deols

Actually,I asked that question for a reason I have thoroughly discussed on this forum. Muslim men/Imam/alfas prefer to talk about and emphasize the role of a woman in her marriage while almost totally neglecting that of the man. see this link- https://www.nairaland.com/884289/nigerian-muslim-men-women#10316770 .

the effect of that is not far-fetched.

the truth is majority of us are selfish. very much hoping we'll get partners who would be the best in the world without striving to be the best we can be.

deols:

Actually,I asked that question for a reason I have thoroughly discussed on this forum. Muslim men/Imam/alfas prefer to talk about and emphasize the role of a woman in her marriage while almost totally neglecting that of the man. see this link- https://www.nairaland.com/884289/nigerian-muslim-men-women#10316770 .

the effect of that is not be far-fetched.

the truth is majority of us are selfish. very much hoping we'll get partners who would be the best in the world without striving to be the best we can be.

May be its time Muslim women/amira start talking about and emphasize on the role of a man too in their marriage #just joking

YOU ARE VERY CORRECT... what I just believe is that we have to be the best in order to attract the best partner into our life and moreso, pray to Almighty Allah to give us a very good and enduring partner. With this, I believe life will be so good.

tbaba1234: This is a powerful statement; Our communities face these problems.... I am so glad, He spoke about them, I will like to hear deols comment on this...

Habib Ali passionately talks about the compulsion placed on Muslims in ensuring that the treatment of women within the community is done in a just manner. He outlines the Prophetic tradition on how the measure of goodness is tied to the goodness to women.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZG6ibK8mwo&feature=player_embedded

May Allah guide this ummah... Where are the men of this ummah?

Thank you sooo much for this video @tbaba. I enjoyed seeing the video and it is a good wake up call to Muslims. The home is what makes the society and Muslims just cannot continue to be the way they'v been. I am saddened when I see the way Many Muslim women live in Nigeria. Because I am very outspoken about it, some people term me a feminist but I am not I am just a Muslim woman who thinks Muslim men are going overboard with the 'I am the head of the home' thing

from this video--

*Muslims should not think their Iba'dah end with fasting, reciting the QUr'an, jihad.
*All of the other things we see as important are naught if we wont address injustice to women.
*the issue of injustice to women is one we should not run away from
*when abused women cannot get the injustice from the muslim community, they seek it elsewhere
*if they leave the religion as a result, everyone involved would be questioned on it
*Men justify these wrong actions against women using the QUr'an
*whereas they are getting it wrong
*and maybe the men need to put themselves in thhe shoes of these women
*smh @ situations where the victims(women) become/ are termed the criminals

^The most important point was made at the end.... We need women who understand their rights ... Woman who have studied what they have according to the sharia.....

If our women are educated, they will be empowered...

Your goodness is tied to how you treat your wives... That is why the prophet said that the best of you is the one that is best to his wife

wow bin on nairaland since 4 eva neva really zoomed thru ' dis thread am glad wit d gist goin around. May Allah enrich us wit wisdom n knowledge. Fee amaneelah

tbaba1234:

May Allah guide this ummah... Where are the men of this ummah?

We are here o but sleeping , may Allah help us take-up our responsibilities and emulate the best of mankind (SAW) in regards to our women amin

How does a brother get to meet good muslim lady to settle down with. or rather where is the best place to meet good muslim ladies.

gbadexy: How does a brother get to meet good muslim lady to settle down with. or rather where is the best place to meet good muslim ladies.

If you have enough money, just invite them to send-in applications for the position of "wifey" and conduct an interview. Pick the one you like.

maclatunji:

If you have enough money, just invite them to send-in applications for the position of "wifey" and conduct an interview. Pick the one you like.

Is it how you have been inviting various sisters... badt guyz

Wizeboy: Is it how you have been inviting various sisters... badt guyz

To be honest, I never have. Don't paint me in bad light O- it is just a random idea that runs through my mind sometimes. I don't think I could ever do it sha... but I do think about the possibility.

maclatunji:

If you have enough money, just invite them to send-in applications for the position of "wifey" and conduct an interview. Pick the one you like.

Don't let Woman Human right activist see this o......