Nairalanders how do you tackle this kind of problem especially when it has to do with family and property
My nephew is dragging right with me over our family house his father was my elder brother and the first born in our family we where five in number 2 boys and 3 girls although my female siblings are married .
My parents left us with a family house as the where now late so my brother lives in the landlord palour which was a self con apartment when he was alive although his relationship with his wife didn't work out as the woman wasn't married by my brother but she had kids for him now after my brother death I moved to the apartment as and started living there although I did a little renovation on it and others .
Until I have to travel all in the hustle although I was still in Nigeria but I moved to the northern part of Nigeria only to receive calls from my neighbors that my nephew has break into my apartment and do some retouching in my own house
Note there was never a time I ask them to live the compound or anything infact this is a family house as everyone has a room why must it be that my own.
I need advice as am very very pissed off
I brought this here for wiser contribution
Modifying[b][/b]
The thing is that this boy am talking about went to HK only to pick money from it as I heard only to come to break into my own apartment if he thinks he needs a room there are many there it's is literally insulting

This is a very dicey and sensitive one to advise you on based on the fact that as much as you should have more right to him as regards your late father's property, however, as Africans who practice a patrilineal system of inheritance, that might be where his entitled guts are emanating from.

You can put him in his place though but if you can avoid any confrontations with him and good on your own, it'd be best to just ignore his kindergarten sense of entitlement and keep doing you.

Do well to make him understand you have a stake in the house as much as his dad did and you won't tolerate his arrogance and disrespect.

[color=#000099][/color]

Reading....

Gobe make I grab sit

This is a very delicate case. Thread lightly, people loose their lives in cases like this

gaby:
This is a very dicey and sensitive one to advise you on based on the fact that as much as you should have more right to him as regards your late father's property, however, as Africans who practice a patrilineal system of inheritance, that might be where his entitled guts are emanating from.

You can put him in his place though but if you can avoid any confrontations with him and good on your own, it'd be best to just ignore his kindergarten sense of entitlement and keep doing you.

Do well to make him understand you have a stake in the house as much as his dad did and you won't tolerate his arrogance and disrespect.

Hmm the thing is that he break into my apartment renovate the ceiling and change the painting does it mean I will have to forfeit that very self con of course I never denied him access to some rooms there

Anal55:

Hmm the thing is that he break into my apartment renovate the ceiling and change the painting does it mean I will have to forfeit that very self con of course I never denied him access to some rooms there

He feels entitled and sees you as taking over the part that belonged to his father and by extension his inheritance.

Just be wise and smart about it because such an entitled boy can do and undo to have his way.

He's got people behind, beating the drums and clapping for the dance he has embarked upon.

gaby:


He feels entitled and sees you as taking over the part that belonged to his father and by extension should be his inheritance.

Just be wise and smart about it because such an entitled boy can do and undo to have his way.

He's got people behind, beating the drums and clapping for the dance he has embarked upon.

Yeah that's the truth the fact is that I called this boy to ask him if he didn't see other room to renovate he said he doesn't own me any explanation
The bitter truth is that my parents literally spent everything they had trying to send him to school before I could grow up the are already aged because I was the last born I couldn't reach University although we didn't have any bad blood but it is very insulting to me

DaddyRochie1642:
This is a very delicate case. Thread lightly, people loose their lives in cases like this

Does it mean I will have to forfeit that very apartment

Anal55:

Hmm the thing is that he break into my apartment renovate the ceiling and change the painting does it mean I will have to forfeit that very self con of course I never denied him access to some rooms there

That means this person you're talking about is even an adult for him to even change the ceiling and change painting.

Yes you have a stake in that house, but'll it'll be wiser to just let him have the place since his father was your elder brother and out of respect for your Elder brother but let him know in clear terms that his actions were disrespectful and insulting to your personality.

It's not easy to remain calm while addressing this issue, but try your best and remain calm.

DaddyRochie1642:




That means this person you're talking about is even an adult for him to even change the ceiling and change painting.

Yes you have a stake in that house, but'll it'll be wiser to just let him have the place since his father was your elder brother and out of respect for your Elder brother but let him know in clear terms that his actions were disrespectful and insulting to your personality.

It's not easy to remain calm while addressing this issue, but try your best and remain calm.

Hmm the thing is that my female siblings never wanted to have anything to do the wife for reason best know to them although I don't bear any grudges especially the children I took them like my family u know we men are easy going but it is very insulting he didn't even bother to inform me or anything of course the still have right as I never denied them living there .

Anal55:

Yeah that's the truth the fact is that I called this boy to ask him if he didn't see other room to renovate he said he doesn't own me any explanation
The bitter truth is that my parents literally spent everything they had trying to send him to school before I could grow up the are already aged because I was the last born I couldn't reach University although we didn't have any bad blood but it is very insulting to me

Just thread with caution and ignore him. At least, you have a life aside from the family house so, you should be good.

Anal55:

Does it mean I will have to forfeit that very apartment

Yes sir, do it out of respect you have for your elder brother. But call your nephew, let the environment not be tensed, control the conversation and let him know that you'll have left the place for him out of respect you have for his father which is your elder brother and his actions that he took When you weren't around by breaking into your apartment and changing ceiling and paint Is disrespectful and insulting.

Please be calm while saying this because I know It won't be easy so that the situation will not escalate further, if the guy has sense, he'll apologize and even respect you more.

You just have to swallow your pride and ego as a man to handle this situation expertly and peacefully.

The guy Is not on your level by any means even if he's financially more buoyant than you. Show him that you're mentally miles ahead of him.

Good luck

Anal55:

Hmm the thing is that my female siblings never wanted to have anything to do the wife for reason best know to them although I don't bear any grudges especially the children I took them like my family u know we men are easy going but it is very insulting he didn't even bother to inform me or anything of course the still have right as I never denied them living there .

Pls where is the said house located? In the village or city? Which tribe are you? This will help me make my input.

Anal55:

Does it mean I will have to forfeit that very apartment

Yes sir, do it out of respect you have for your elder brother. But call your nephew, let the environment not be tensed, control the conversation and let him know that you'll have left the place for him out of respect you have for his father which is your elder brother and his actions that he took When you weren't around by breaking into your apartment and changing ceiling and paint Is disrespectful and insulting.

Please be calm while saying this because I know It won't be easy so that the situation will not escalate further, if the guy has sense, he'll apologize and even respect you more.

You just have to swallow your pride and ego as a man to handle this situation expertly and peacefully.

The guy Is not on your level by any means even if he's financially more buoyant than you. Show him that you're mentally miles ahead of him.

Good luck

Anal55:

Does it mean I will have to forfeit that very apartment

Yes sir, do it out of respect you have for your elder brother. But call your nephew face to face, let the environment not be tensed, control the conversation and let him know that you'll have left the place for him out of respect you have for his father which is your elder brother and his actions that he took When you weren't around by breaking into your apartment and changing ceiling and paint Is disrespectful and insulting.

Please be calm while saying this because I know It won't be easy so that the situation will not escalate further, if the guy has sense, he'll apologize and even respect you more.

You just have to swallow your pride and ego as a man to handle this situation expertly and peacefully.

The guy Is not on your level by any means even if he's financially more buoyant than you. Show him that you're mentally miles ahead of him.

Good luck

DaddyRochie1642:





Yes sir, do it out of respect you have for your elder brother. But call your nephew, let the environment not be tensed, control the conversation and let him know that you'll have left the place for him out of respect you have for his father which is your elder brother and his actions that he took When you weren't around by breaking into your apartment and changing ceiling and paint Is disrespectful and insulting.

Please be calm while saying this because I know It won't be easy so that the situation will not escalate further, if the guy has sense, he'll apologize and even respect you more.

You just have to swallow your pride and ego as a man to handle this situation expertly and peacefully.

The guy Is not on your level by any means even if he's financially more buoyant than you. Show him that you're mentally miles ahead of him.

Good luck

Op follow this advice although e go hard for you to swallow your pride and ego
farano
Rocktation
Do the needful

Justbehave:
Pls where is the said house located? In the village or city? Which tribe are you? This will help me make my input.

Village am from South East

Cc: seun: Nlfmod: lets discuss something about this matter

Anal55:

Village am from South East

. The house belongs to your late father and his father being the first son of your father automatically owns the house and we call it isi obi in Igbo. . In such instance,his late father inherited the house from your dad as his first son by tradition therefore the house belongs to the first son of your late brother. I think the elders in your village should explain this things to you.But assuming the said house is located in the city then he has no right whatsoever to inherit it. It will all belong to the entire family.

Justbehave:
. The house belongs to your late father and his father being the first son of your father automatically owns the house and we call it isi obi in Igbo. . In such instance,his late father inherited the house from your dad as his first son by tradition therefore the house belongs to the first son of your late brother. I think the elders in your village should explain this things to you.But assuming the said house is located in the city then he has no right whatsoever to inherit it. It will all belong to the entire family.

Hmm the fact is you missed the part where I said he didn't marry the woman also he didn't build the house does it mean I have to forfeit the apartment

Anal55:

Hmm the fact is you missed the part where I said he didn't marry the woman also he didn't build the house does it mean I have to forfeit the apartment

That he didn't marry the woman does not make him stop being your late brothers surviving son. He doesn't need to build the house since by tradition it is his father's inheritance from your late dad as his first son and as for forfeiting the house,this can only be possible when you have your own house meaning he can't eject you because you are still a son of your father.The Isi obi in Igbo culture belongs to the first son once their father is late.

Justbehave:
That he didn't marry the woman does not make him stop being your late brothers surviving son. He doesn't need to build the house since by tradition it is his father's inheritance from your late dad as his first son and as for forfeiting the house,this can only be possible when you have your own house meaning he can't eject you because you are still a son of your father.The Isi obi in Igbo culture belongs to the first son once their father is late.

Wow is good to know tradition oo I hope the op go listen he might think his ego is at stake

Justbehave:
. The house belongs to your late father and his father being the first son of your father automatically owns the house and we call it isi obi in Igbo. . In such instance,his late father inherited the house from your dad as his first son by tradition therefore the house belongs to the first son of your late brother. I think the elders in your village should explain this things to you.But assuming the said house is located in the city then he has no right whatsoever to inherit it. It will all belong to the entire family.

Supreme Court has quashed this.

Every child has same statutory right to inherit his father's properties whether male or female.

I will only advocate for peaceful resolution of the matter.

Blake755:

Wow is good to know tradition oo I hope the op go listen he might think his ego is at stake

The truth is that the elders in their village knows,that's why his nephew has an upper hand. But be it as it maybe his nephew was supposed to inform him before tempering with his own personal room/ rooms.

ExudeLoveToAll:



Supreme Court has quashed this.

Every child has same statutory right to inherit his father's properties whether male or female.

I will only advocate for peaceful resolution of the matter.

Don't say what you don't know. Like I said,if it is a city house all owns it but as long as its an isi obi in the village,it belongs to his elder brother by tradition and culture hence belongs to his elder brothers son.
But then,he has no right to eject him. He can only leave if he feels like.

Justbehave:
Don't say what you don't know. Like I said,if it is a city house all owns it but as long as its an isi obi in the village,it belongs to his elder brother by tradition and culture hence belongs to his elder brothers son.
But then,he has no right to eject him. He can only leave if he feels like.

You don't seem to understand that that custom has been quashed by the supreme Court.

They may choose to meet the chief and he then passes his decision based on your assertion. Once the matter goes beyond the chief and heads to court the chiefs will loose it so says the court.

What you asserted is like talking just a leap in a race, it remains an illegality as it stands today. Whether they take that stand or not is immaterial.

ExudeLoveToAll:



You don't seem to understand that that custom has been quashed by the supreme Court.

They may choose to meet the chief and he then passes his decision based on your assertion. Once the matter goes beyond the chief and heads to court the chiefs will loose it so says the court.

What you asserted is like talking just a leap in a race, it remains an illegality as it stands today. Whether they take that stand or not is immaterial.

And you think court doesn't respect culture and traditions? Do you also know that we still have customary courts in Nigeria?If he decides to go to court,fine but mind you that our judicial system is not steady and might swindle to any angle. Best for him is to calm down and live with him peacefully until he is able to get his own Ala ubi and build his house.

ExudeLoveToAll:



You don't seem to understand that that custom has been quashed by the supreme Court.

They may choose to meet the chief and he then passes his decision based on your assertion. Once the matter goes beyond the chief and heads to court the chiefs will loose it so says the court.

What you asserted is like talking just a leap in a race, it remains an illegality as it stands today. Whether they take that stand or not is immaterial.

..... You are correct but not every cultural or traditional matters goes to court.

What justbehave said is also correct. Let me give an example.

Let's say a first class king has 4 male children and he dies,the first son takes over the mantle and as long as that first son of the late king has a son too that his son will eventually takes over the mantle when his father dies. Have you ever wondered why the kingship doesn't go over to the second son of the late king if his first son dies? That's tradition.

The only circumstance that will make the second or third sons of the king to become king is if the first son of the king does not bear a male child.

Courts won't even listen to you when you bring up such cases.

Example is the late king of Ubulu kingdom.

Anal55:

Village am from South East

If the room was his father's room then he has more right to it than you. According to tradition, you were not supposed to have moved into the space since your brother has a son. You are meant to be a custodian of your brother's stuff until his sons become of age.
If you take this issue to umu nna, the honest ones will tell you the truth. Let this matter rest to avoid deeper family issues. I know you feel disrespected but let it go.

Justbehave:
Don't say what you don't know. Like I said,if it is a city house all owns it but as long as its an isi obi in the village,it belongs to his elder brother by tradition and culture hence belongs to his elder brothers son.
But then,he has no right to eject him. He can only leave if he feels like.

Save your energy. Eyes go soon clear them.