In the adult and mated male brain, testosterone has dampened their neural development around verbal communication and emotional memory. But their problem-solving circuits stay large and well connected. This can lead to the perception that male brains feel emotions less than female brains, but this isn’t true.

When a bonded male brain realizes his partner is upset, for instance, it immediately kicks into problem-solving mode. In male-female couples, this difference in instinctual responses fuels many conflicts. While a female-brained partner might crave communication and connection around her issue, their male-brained counterparts aren’t built for that. Their neural networks are hardwired to respond by offering solutions. It’s well intentioned, sure – but baffling to a partner who doesn’t understand why they can’t just listen.

A smaller difference in neural centers for emotional memory may drive other conflicts in male-female partnerships, too. The female brain’s emotional memory centers have more neurons to store away details about emotional encounters than the male hippocampus. So the perceptions of a situation in their relationship are recorded quite differently in each brain. These biological differences can be difficult to overcome in relationships, and they require each partner to develop strategies to adapt.

Female-brained partners have been hardwired by estrogen to tune into facial expressions and tones of voice from early infancy. But from childhood on, the male brain has suppressed these signals and damped his facial expressions to keep his emotions from being perceived by his peers. His compulsion to keep emotions from showing in his face can be interpreted as a lack of feeling, but it isn’t. His neural wiring simply keeps it from activating his expressions. 

But it is socially acceptable in many cultures for men to express one particular emotion: anger. It’s triggered by the priming of high testosterone sensitivity and a large amygdala. And it has profound effects on those who interact with these male brains, negatively impacting careers, families, and communities.

As testosterone levels drop with age, however, this font of anger may dry up, giving way to a more nuanced expression of emotions.