Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? - Family (2)

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Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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As a Christian, Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? / I do not feel loved by my wife, Is this enough reason to quit my marriage? / Hauwa, Adam Nuru Wife Is Not Planning To Divorce Him, Stands With Her Husband (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by jeff1607(m): 10:18am On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
Married to his job how? Do you even read at all before typing these?
You were suppose to ignore and not comment since you can't assimilate my write up.

A full grown woman contemplating divorcing her husband not because he is cheating just because he lost his job and is into gambling , wasn’t he providing before, do you have any idea what divorce does? There are ways in making a man sit up and performing his duties but no the next thing is divorce , if he was providing and still gambling away his money would divorce even come in, if it was you in his shoes woukd he divorce you? Sort out the issue and leave divorce out of it ma’am

You married him despite knowing what he does now he needs you , you are contemplating divorce. I guess it’s for better for stay for worse to go. It means if he was cheating you’d rather have him skinned.

#fearwomen

6 Likes

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by HONESTFACT101(m): 10:23am On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
If I should remembered his treatment when he had a job earning salaries, all through my pregnancy, paying bills and all that then, I deserve to kill him. He has never been a caring husband and father to his children.

He has no past good record that can make me think backward and support a jobless husband.

then it is settled then within you, you already desire to divorce him you just want nairalanders to tell you to do so, so as to justify your conscience, as for me I wash my hands comot for your matter
do what you wish ^{......signing out✈}

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Klass99(f): 10:55am On Mar 11, 2023

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by kuse2(m): 10:58am On Mar 11, 2023

I read some your past posts regarding your husband. It's clear you are already frustrated and you now resent him.. justifiably so. I feel for you honestly.. No one deserves an irresponsible husband!

If you can no longer endure the marraige, then pull the plug!

But before you do, please reach out to a few single mothers out there and find out how they are doing.. Let them tell you how market..

See, as a single mother, you'll continue to do all you are currently doing and even more.. And don't think an angel will just appear and will take care of your children for you.. It might never happen.. Trust me, before men will help you, majority of them will sleep with you.. If you don't have problem with that.. Please go ahead with the divorce

all4zionlover:
If I should remembered his treatment when he had a job earning salaries, all through my pregnancy, paying bills and all that then, I deserve to kill him. He has never been a caring husband and father to his children.

He has no past good record that can make me think backward and support a jobless husband.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Klass99(f): 11:11am On Mar 11, 2023

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by LilMissFavvy(f): 11:24am On Mar 11, 2023

Don't divorce him. According to you he is peaceful and helps with chores. You have to look for a business he can do around the house environment. Look for financial help and talk to him about a home business. Set up any of the business below:

1. Poultry
2. Fiah farming using Artificial Fish Pond
3. Baking

Start the business by yourself, so that he doesn't use the money. Since he does chores, he will be good with the home business. If possible go for poultry. The business will be yours, while he takes care of the birds. Go on Facebook and market your broilers. Give him money from whatever profit you make from time to time. If his gambling addiction is a spiritual problem yet he is not a praying type or goes to church, then it's a big pity.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Richy4(m): 11:40am On Mar 11, 2023

Klass99:

This wedding vows feel like a trap to keep people shackled to self induced nonsense and stupidity. Who came up with these vows, abeg? He needs to be shot, I know it could have only been a man who would come up with such vows to effectively checkmate women.

For better or worse, should not include nonsense like wilfull and deliberate gambling, excessive drinking, sexual promiscuity etc. Our choices create our circumstances, our circumstances are created by our choices.

This man knows what he is doing, men like him always know what they are doing. There is nothing spiritual about this, neither is it a mental health issue. What is it with us and blaming our poor life choices, on mental health issues or the spiritual sef?

When did we become so weak and incompetent to the point of constantly making excuses for ourselves and others? I am just thinking out loud, because I saw a thread on gambling where a self confessed gambler said the addiction is spiritual . No sir, it is not spiritual you made a choice that led to a downward spiral.......you made the choice, not the devil.

Why is it so hard for people to grasp this?

Klass, when it comes to wedding vows nowadays, people creates their own stuffs..
I am not a huge fan of attending weddings but the ones I have attended, certain things that I was familiar with back home were not there....

I guess people have started putting in certain things that they can keep up with..and silently eliminate the ones they can't cope...

Gambling is a big addiction... I fear for the young ladies that will be marrying the young men that plays sports bet... That's how it starts... It will start from genesis, by the time it gets to Malachi, he has become an expert...

She can't possibly say that she wasn't aware of it when he was working...The gambling was not an issue then because there was an inflow of cash... She should have threatened to leave him when he was holding a job...He suddenly became a demon when he lost his job and now it was an issue.....

AC becomes an irritant.. Abeg make she find some way to motivate him back to the man she once married... Gambling was not her issue here...

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by abimcdssi: 11:45am On Mar 11, 2023

kuse2:
I read some your past posts regarding your husband. It's clear you are already frustrated and you now resent him.. justifiably so. I feel for you honestly.. No one deserves an irresponsible husband!

If you can no longer endure the marraige, then pull the plug!

But before you do, please reach out to a few single mothers out there and find out how they are doing.. Let them tell you how market..

See, as a single mother, you'll continue to do all you are currently doing and even more.. And don't think an angel will just appear and will take care of your children for you.. It might never happen.. Trust me, before men will help you, majority of them will sleep with you.. If you don't have problem with that.. Please go ahead with the divorce

But she's more or less a 'single mother'. What's the point of being married to a man that doesn't provide for his family and is not ready to? The only thing she's probably getting from the man is sex.

A responsible married man that loses his job will dust himself up and make efforts to start providing no matter how little. His 'plan' is to hit the jackpot from gambling like most gamblers dream.

She said he gambled away his salary while he had a job anyways. She married an irresponsible man. She should weigh her options and decide what's best for her and the kids.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by drimzsmoke(m): 11:53am On Mar 11, 2023

Kingdollar28:

How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

Exactly,he is battling depression,no amount of talking to him will work.Let him see a therapist,that will do wonders!!!

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by boldsleek: 12:06pm On Mar 11, 2023

Just imagine is a wife that lost her job to Gambling and also addicted to Gambling.

All I will keep reading on this thread is "Send her home" "Divorce her" "She will ruin you" blah blah.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Klass99(f): 12:21pm On Mar 11, 2023

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by gaby(m): 12:52pm On Mar 11, 2023

Klass99:

Gaby, you forgot to mention the other side of the coin where she can disengage from men like her's and her life would be so much better. It will be like losing dead weight, there'll be no regrets and only thoughts of, I wish I had done this sooner.

You can only help someone who wants to be helped, does he? And the real work of ditching bad habits like gambling, intentionally practising discipline needs to come from him not her. We cannot change anybody, people change on their own accord when they want to or feel like it.

I agree with your paradigm too. It is indeed double-edged.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by kwaso2: 1:33pm On Mar 11, 2023

You see ur life? If it were the other way round, it would have been okay. Women! keep doing your part, provision is not gender based. At the same time, keep talking to him, it will not always remain that way

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband losses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money. He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.
Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.
The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?
Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by EriMma1: 1:52pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband losses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money. He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.
Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.
The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?
Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Shebi when I talk, some came for my head. Now see?

Women, learn to avoid situations like this by being proactive. Don't commit to any man who can't take care of himself or even you.

Now you're reacting after the deed is done. What of the innocent children you brought into the world? What will be their fate now wey oga don hands off?

Thats why you see them asking what a woman will bring to the table to know the level of laziness they'll exhibit in the marriage.

I'm not saying it's his fault that he lost his job but what next? Sleeping at home every day will not solve the matter neither will taking over the chores make a difference. Let him get up and go look for something doing. No matter how small. Otherwise, separate from him until he gets his acts together. Unless you want to be feeding an able adult for the rest of your life because I tell you, he'll never want to do anything as long as you continue shouldering the responsibilities and he keeps eating free food.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Whobedatte(m): 1:59pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
He can endure anything. No food, he will lay down there till there's food. Once there's raw food, he will go to kitchen and prepare and eat, but he can never buy them.
He know no matter what, I will buy few things in the house to avoid going to buy little little food items from neighbouring shops.
No close up, bathing soap, cream, everything, he will endure, till I replace them.
He's really annoying.

Chai

My brother men , hustle oooo

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by GloriousGbola: 6:12pm On Mar 11, 2023

Klass99:

Richy, how many times have women been told not to check their men's phone or snoop around on them to find out things? It's possible she wasn't aware of the gambling if he diligently hid it from her.

What are you even saying sef? Men hide whole families no one knows of, until the day they die and the other wife shows up at his funeral with his kids - this happened for real to Mike, an acquaintance of mine. His father had another wife and kids they never knew about until his funeral.

Is it gambling that someone cannot conveniently hide? Anyway, I really like the bolded parts of your post, that is how it should be. Let couples decide for themselves what falls within the category of, for better for worse.

I am not sure what vices you can hide from a spouse, but unless you have mad cash inflow, gambling is not one of them. Infact a gambling problem will show when you are courting. The guy will always be broke and will always be in one money problem or another. And he will always be in trouble with his friends and possibly family.

The day after salary is paid, if not the same day, guy will already be complaining.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Kobojunkie: 6:14pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
He can not do that. They're mine.

ROFLMAO

You never feel the full impacts of what it means to have a gambling addict in the house then! lipsrsealed

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by pocohantas(f): 6:40pm On Mar 11, 2023

GloriousGbola:

I am not sure what vices you can hide from a spouse, but unless you have mad cash inflow, gambling is not one of them. Infact a gambling problem will show when you are courting. The guy will always be broke and will always be in one money problem or another. And he will always be in trouble with his friends and possibly family.

The day after salary is paid, if not the same day, guy will already be complaining.

You might think he is extravagant. Not a gambler. If it were before that they have slips, it was way easier to catch them. Lol! I detest gambling though.

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by GloriousGbola: 6:59pm On Mar 11, 2023

pocohantas:

You might think he is extravagant. Not a gambler. If it were before that they have slips, it was way easier to catch them. Lol! I detest gambling though.

Same thing imho, if the guy is living baller lifestyle on 9to5 salary at least she go chop life small. Expensive stuff you can't afford, some nights on the town, iPhone 14 on credit.

This is almost as bad as being married to a junkie.

Also I think you will still be able to catch them, as an example one day a member of my team who I think has money problems sent me a screebshot by accident. One betting app like that.

And as the average naija woman dey check phone for gf, they will easily see the bet 9ja app on the phone.

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by 4ward4: 7:13pm On Mar 11, 2023

In all you do @Op pick the most reasonable advice.
Too many ITK singles On here, with so much imaginary advice..
They have never for once Been into marriage or have its feeling. They are The very first to shout " You will loss nothing, Walk away " as if naso their mama Walk away ...Egbami...
A man who was able to gather money ,buy properties ,marry you and even bore 2 kids ,isn't a kid .
He definitely must have worked his way through the ladder.
Speak to him at the right time on his plans and moves. We know how he is feeling , all and all he was doing was to boast the family income.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by silento(m): 8:40pm On Mar 11, 2023

No u should have discussion with him , I have been in such situation and women will always abuse u in the name of advising him

Stop abusing him and talk to him as a wife

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 8:40pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

What is wrong with the woman taking care of her family?

The lady should have an honest conversation with the husband. He can be a full time sit at home dad and care for the kids and the house hold while the wife becomes the breadwinner.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by undisputedKOC: 8:40pm On Mar 11, 2023

He must be an Igbo man, that's their character, very lazy animals. He is probably waiting for the next batch of drugs to carry or woman to scam to make money to eat undecided

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by jeromestarks: 8:41pm On Mar 11, 2023

The woman is the source of his problem. He list his job after he met her.
She was not a vitwhen he married her that's why.
Some of thoae non virgins have been used by Yahoo boys.
If you as a man becomes her husband, you will lose everything and go back to square zero. You will even lose your sense of responsibility (just like the man in the post).

Once you meet a non virgin, fvck her and let her go her way when you're tired of her overused pvssy. If you marry her and have children with her, then your glory will be exchanged for uselessness.
You will lose your job.
You will lack the Will to find another job.
You will struggle without result.
Your children will become wayward in life.
When your children grow up, they will beat you up because they aren't yours, they belong to her ex. They're bastards but you wouldn't know.

Once you marry a woman you did not disvirgin, frustration will creep onto your life. Anytime you sleep with her, your glory will be drawn away into the hands of yahoo boys who fvcked her in school.

Many of those non virgins have been used spiritually and physically when they were flexing their lives. Whoever marries any of them will use his own glory to pay for her mistakes.

Fvck any girl you want but when it comes to marriage, find a virgin woman and marry. Better to suffer to find a virgin woman and marry and have a peaceful lasting home than to marry a non virgin who has be unknowingly used by Yahoo boys and suffer in your marriage.

.ASK OP IF SHE WAS A VIRGIN WHEN SHE MET HIM -No!
She spoilt the stupid man's life and she still have the effrontery to come out here to complain.

I blame the mumu husband who didn't find a virgin woman.
May he never come out of his calamity. How can he even come out, he's already useless.

The only thing left for him now is for people to post RIP for him in the next few months.
RIP to your mumu husband. Idiot.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Lakeside43: 8:42pm On Mar 11, 2023

Enough

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by ednut1(m): 8:43pm On Mar 11, 2023

Divorce his silly ass

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Maynman: 8:44pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
He can not do that. They're mine.

Everything is about “you”, I’m sure you’ve marked even your own personal buckets and plates that are yours.

Please divorce him, please.

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Luckysbab: 8:44pm On Mar 11, 2023

Gloriagee:
Wat does she lose, Mr. Mama I no fit lie you?

Sebi na your house she go pack come, with her children.

Oversabi

4 Likes

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by deavicky(m): 8:44pm On Mar 11, 2023

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

I guess he is believing that one day the gamble will pay. As a matter of fact it is paying already he just servicing his debt with all this loan shark company.

1 Like

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by PlaysNigeria: 8:44pm On Mar 11, 2023

He’s experiencing the kruger effect.

Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by Zihno: 8:45pm On Mar 11, 2023

LittleBigDick:
Don't serve him food untill he starts paying the bills and don't do anything for him

Don't divorce except you don't love him and found another man to remarry

Treat him badly so that he can refrain from his gambling habits and get a job

Would you ask a husband to do this to their unemployed wife?

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Re: Is This Not Enough Reason To Divorce Him? by LuQuLuQu(m): 8:45pm On Mar 11, 2023

Kingdollar28:

How do you know he doesn't have a plan?

He had money before bah?

But lost to gambling?

Sis, your husband is battling frustration/depression

Help him find his ways back

If you divorce him, na u loose

Mama I no fit lie you

I'm married and experienced

What would she lose divorcing a lazy good~for~nothing gambler?

4 Likes

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