ObosiUkwalla:


Poison him so he will die, and u marry another husband. Shebi that's what u want to hear from us...

....

You can separate until he comes to his senses, but don't divorce him.

kuse2:
I read some your past posts regarding your husband. It's clear you are already frustrated and you now resent him.. justifiably so. I feel for you honestly.. No one deserves an irresponsible husband!

If you can no longer endure the marraige, then pull the plug!

But before you do, please reach out to a few single mothers out there and find out how they are doing.. Let them tell you how market..

See, as a single mother, you'll continue to do all you are currently doing and even more.. And don't think an angel will just appear and will take care of your children for you.. It might never happen.. Trust me, before men will help you, majority of them will sleep with you.. If you don't have problem with that.. Please go ahead with the divorce

"Single mother" here. Market dey fine. What a man won't do, make e commot for road, another will do.

She is earning her bread, worst case scenario, she has one less mouth to feed. Best case, she meets someone just as enterprising as she is with whom she can build build a future with, not just for herself but for kids.

Say no to irresponsible deadbeat men. You are not their mother.

Kobojunkie:
I do concur considering not everyone is built to carry all that load alone. Marriage is meant to be a partnership for good reason.

some men apart from their big penis Nthg dem get again.I can’t imagine my wife carrying my house.I go go rob.I have been married for over 10yrs my wife has not lacked or needed a pin.

udede:
Men endure the joblessness of their wives but woman will feed a man for some few short months and complain will full every where.
You don't have any reason to divorce him, the offence of his maybe lazyness and that is not a crime.

Wake him out of it with much love. Make sure you don't nag.

Search for a job on his behalf if you have a connection to do so.

Kmoney4money:

You must be a joker, so men that carries women responsibilities na enjoyment await am abi.

pls leave my space I beg u

It is better for a man to go out and work.
Than living at home in disgrace.
Better is it for a man to die honourably in the Sahara desert and the sand dunes become his burial place, than to eat a morsel from the hand of a scornful woman.
Better is it for him to get enlisted in civil war and die, than got fed by a scornful woman.
Poverty will become a merciless father and Mother to him, they shall break his spirit.
Madam get an AC technician to puncture the out door unit coil, in less than 3days it will stop cooling,
But make sure that they one playing the music you're listening to is not playing surugede music. Ni hi na surugede bu egwu ndi muo!

Kobojunkie:
No, you can simply register your marriage without your churches. That is how marriage actually works. There is no document to select hypogamy for you as hypogamy refers to choosing for yourself a spouse of lower financial status than the one you are on.

and who said I choose my partner based of hypogamy? or she choose me based on that and with my consent?

Hypogamy is an illusion or fantasy a partner has most times without the knowledge of their partners.

Klass99:


Gaby, you forgot to mention the other side of the coin where she can disengage from men like her's and her life would be so much better. It will be like losing dead weight, there'll be no regrets and only thoughts of, I wish I had done this sooner.

You can only help someone who wants to be helped, does he? And the real work of ditching bad habits like gambling, to intentionally practise discipline needs to come from him not her. We cannot change anybody, people change on their own accord when they want to or feel like it.

The good news is that her husband cant ditch gambling at this point because gambling gives false hope.



Hope can be deceptive.



It is the gambling that is giving that man some hope that he will surprise his wife soonest when he wins the jackpot and solve all the family's problems.



The mere thought of hitting the jackpot soonest gives the man great hope and reason to relax and not worry so much because he must have been hearing of how Tunde, Emeka, Musa and Michael hit the gambling jackpot that transformed their entire life

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

I think you need to take some steps before think about divorce...

Why dont you call his parents, siblings or close friends... even religious leaders to talk and advice him

Put him also in prayer... and I know God will settle his case and get him back to his position...

Men like this are unpredictable... you may leave him today and in d next few months... you heard is now working with an oil company...

So just chill and pray

jaxxy:
and who said I choose my partner based of hypogamy? or she choose me based on that and with my consent? Hypogamy is an illusion or fantasy a partner has most times without the knowledge of their partners.

What?

all4zionlover:
Each time I talk to him about getting a job or his next plan, he always tell me. He have a plan. But I know he don't

Ask him for the plan.
Wasn't he gambling when you were courting?

shaybebaby:

"Single mother" here. Market dey fine. What a man won't do, make e commot for road, another will do.

She is earning her bread, worst case scenario, she has one less mouth to feed. Best case, she meets someone just as enterprising as she is with whom she can build build a future with, not just for herself but for kids.

Say no to irresponsible deadbeat men. You are not their mother.

All these boils down to bad leadership and failure of government in Nigeria.


Years of successive failed Presidents and Governors brought us all where we are today as a nation.


If Nigeria was working, her husband would have found another job almost immediately he lost the first job and life wouldn't be this hard for she and her kids.



When we condemn and try to fight corrupt office holders in Nigeria like the INEC Chairman, some dimwitted Nigerians start to bring in tribalism.



Nigerians should expect more job losses and impoverishment in the coming months cos there is no foreseeable end to this dying economy of Nigeria.



Any Nigerian that sees any legitimate way to migrate out of Nigeria to saner countries should please hurry and do so.

franchasofficia:
All these boils down to bad leadership and failure of government in Nigeria.Years of successive failed Presidents and Governors brought us all where we are today as a nation. If Nigeria was working, her husband would have found another job almost immediately he lost the first job and life wouldn't be this hard for she and her kids.When we condemn and try to fight corrupt office holders in Nigeria like the INEC Chairman, some dimwitted Nigerians start to bring in tribalism.Nigerians should expect more job losses and impoverishment in the coming months cos there is no foreseeable end to this dying economy of Nigeria. Any Nigerian that sees any legitimate way to migrate out of Nigeria to saner countries should please hurry and do so.

Dey there dey deceive yourself! So for your mind the reason why gambling addicts don't thrive is bad government?

Kobojunkie:
Get to your point instead.

It appears you only want to be troublesome. Cheerio!

Your husband is an addict. Get him some help. Maybe counseling or see a psychiatrist. It's a mental problem. At the same time, help him find a job if you can. Get everybody involved. I mean friends, family members, etc in finding him another job. Or help him setup something. After he must have undergone seen a psychiatrist. The man needs help. The fact that he helps out with house chores shows that he's not a bad guy. I think deep down, his a great guy that just need help. Am sure this man was bearing the bigger responsibility when things were rosey. Help that man.

frozen70:


Most women prefer to be a single mother rather than staying with someone that gives then emotional depression

That's why i said fresh air

you are right though, but not easy mehnnnn

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

The stress of getting a job is the biggest problem from anyone that lost his job. It's not being lazy because he was lazy for him to get his first job. There is no job oo.

That's the truth.

You just have to encourage him because he is tired of life and frustrated. Forget the little smile on his face.

If you divorce him, you may never marry again. Even if you eventually get lucky to remarry, you may never find happiness in your propose new home.

Do you know why? You know the why already.

My friend, help your man

Kobojunkie:
Dey there dey deceive yourself! So when the economy is right, a gambler will always thrive?

People gamble mostly where the economy is dead, so they place their hope on gambling to hit the jackpot and solve their problems once, which mostly never happens and when it happens it happens to one or two persons in a lifetime lol.



Check well, gambling thrive well in poor countries. Yes some rich people are addicted to Casino but its mostly for the fun not really to hit jackpot to solve their numerous accumulated financial problems.



A gainfully employed and well paid man will not even have time to open a betting website to talk of becoming addicted to it.


Many Nigerian men are resorting to sport betting as a result of unemployment, underemployment and financial difficulties. Give most of them good jobs and they will never remember the betting sites again

Gloriagee:
Wat does she lose, Mr. Mama I no fit lie you?

Women dont see far...
The man may or may not have a plan.......
But divorcing him is a sheepish move

all4zionlover:
His money before have always go into gambling.
I have tried several time to save some with me, but he didn't. By now, we would have been on the street begging and suffering if not the fact that I have been hard working on my little business. Put money in my business let it grow, he will not. Come to church and be worshipping so God can help, he will say he's not in the mood. Now, he has nothing and he's not planning on other things.

While he was working, did he cater for the family I used to know a bros whose wife is a nurse, when he had issues with Zenith Bank the wife became the breadwinner of the family, bros began to play Naijabet.. That was the only thing he could get his hands on then... Now the family is in UK enjoying themselves... My sister, patience is a virtue... I hope and pray you all will laugh at the end... SHALOM!!!!!!

franchasofficia:
All these boils down to bad leadership and failure of government in Nigeria.


Years of successive failed Presidents and Governors brought us all where we are today as a nation.


If Nigeria was working, her husband would have found another job almost immediately he lost the first job and life wouldn't be this hard for she and her kids.



When we condemn and try to fight corrupt office holders in Nigeria like the INEC Chairman, some dimwitted Nigerians start to bring in tribalism.



Nigerians should expect more job losses and impoverishment in the coming months cos there is no foreseeable end to this dying economy of Nigeria.



Any Nigerian that sees any legitimate way to migrate out of Nigeria to saner countries should please hurry and do so.

No disagreement here with what you've said. However remember that the successive failed goverments that you mention all have one thing in common- their gender.

Sister,dont be quick to judge him. I,once resort to gambling to boost my income in order to be behave to care of the need of my family. At that time with situation of things I was beginning to slip into depression. It is a wrong step,you have to let him know.
In marriage we should know when our partner deserve a hug and words of encouragement. Help him to tell people you know who can get him a job.

Isabi4lov:
Shebi same Bible said that we should flee from pre marital sex , I guess fleeing from it will make more ladies to be a virgin till marriage , hope your gender will let ladies be .

If a woman should provide for the family, whilst the man sit at home , then such man should be ready to be a full time house boy and do his wife's biddings.

If he lost his job on a neutral ground, that's a different case but gambling, na mumu dey worry am . He should not stand up and go and look for factory job to do before he will see a white collar job.

The Bible shouldn’t factor in their decision making.

The man can be a full time stay at home dad while the wife becomes the provider. He wouldn’t be a House boy to anyone same way a stay at home mom isn’t a house girl. Some men, myself included, want to manage the kids and the home front while our women provide for the family and it’s perfectly ok.

all4zionlover:
Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Unless you are not a Christian, the only reason to divorce him is adultery.
Imagine your husband under the ac is thinking about how you feel about this situation. He then wonders if you are thinking of divorce. He wants to know the reasons a woman might want to leave her husband to know if if has fallen short. He checks google and then he finds this thread. I wonder what he'd feel. Of course he'd know this is you talking about him.
Cook a very delicious meal. Please him so much and then bring up the topic.
Remove divorce from your mind.
Just Imagine it like he never lost anything and this was all a hoax to test you.
Alternatively, try talking to him through a third party social media account, one he is not familiar with. You may not get anywhere but you can learn the way he reasons.
You can use a fake facebook account to offer him a business idea and watch his reaction. Or you can pretend as a psychologist, friend him online and see if he'll open up to you on his problem.

DISCLAIMER
I am not married. And still single. I am just suggesting. Who knows, you might get a better idea from the ones I already said.
NEVER THINK OF DIVORCE.
If this was enough reason for a woman to divorce her husband then I definitely would have been brought up by a single parent. My Parents passed through what you are passing through. My dad cried whenever he was home alone. My mom was like you until she knew my dad always cried when we left jobless him at home. Your husband may be depressed. Remember biblical Job.

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Signs of Depression loading.

Already loosing interest in life's activities.

He needs to see a Therapist ASAP.

Ask yourself if by divorcing him will start paying your bills.Is it that some men are out there giving you fake promise. Aunty,don't deceive yourself when men are deceiving u.They will just 4k u and leave u to next client.

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Divorce because your husband is passing through a challenge? Has marriage been this valueless that any little issue we just consider divorcing?

You got married to him when he had money, so what makes you think he will be broke for life. Truth is that your husband is passing through depression and needs your support and encouragement. If you leave him at this time that means you initially married him for comfort and stability. Madam be a support to that man by encouraging him and stop complaining

emiika:


you are right though, but not easy mehnnnn

Yes it's not easy and no one wishes for such after a joyous marriage celebration

Kobojunkie:
Madam is complaining that she is reaching her limit though. So?

It's quite unfortunate that it has gotten to this level, I think she also needs to remind him of who he was before this. A little tick could do the trick.

frozen70:


Yes it's not easy and no one wishes for such after a joyous marriage celebration

Marriage these days ehn, make God help person ni ooo

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

Valid for seperation not divorce infact since your life is not under threat of death you can salvage the situation