holocron:


@the bolded, It will come. Brace for it. As certain as night comes after the day.

EriMma1:


Just have a high stable income and business on the side that will be generating steady income. this will require hardwork which is why I said young guys should strive to build their finance to a reasonable level and invest before going into marriage.

occfx:


Well to an extent you are correct, you just have to earn 5 times above minimum wage in a month and Cut Your Coat and accordingly. Nigeria uses minimum wage to cheat her citizens. A minimum wage that cannot buy one bag of rice is that one a minimum wage?

But the most important is to cut your coat accordingly... If you marry baby oku, even if you earn 1m a month she will tell you her friend uses 1m on her hair every month.

occfx:


Well to an extent you are correct, you just have to earn 5 times above minimum wage in a month and Cut Your Coat and accordingly. Nigeria uses minimum wage to cheat her citizens. A minimum wage that cannot buy one bag of rice is that one a minimum wage?

But the most important is to cut your coat accordingly... If you marry baby oku, even if you earn 1m a month she will tell you her friend uses 1m on her hair every month.

OGHENAOGIE:
one thing with nairaland is too much negativity or jokes cos it's mostly anonymous... Pple should share stories but na go here go there we just de read... The person quoting china forget in China govt handle or run mostly everything unlike Nigeria besides 5m as someone said is big money... Again it's a myopic woman that ll be thinking of just marriage celebration without how the marriage ll look like...

silvoclaira:
hmmm there's a lot going on in marriages.



Money money money money money

lavylilly:
On a head that can't recite state & capital.

lavylilly:
We do not want negativity na, share if you have got an experience

KelChinon202:


You simply do not want to hear the truth.

EriMma1:


Yeah you're right. Though the baby oku instance is very unrealistic because no average man will wife such a woman. I'm talking about a regular girl. Who needs to be appreciated by her man normally.

Akwamkpuruamu:
All I have to say here are my experiences in my marriage. I have been married for five years now with two kids, Girl and boy. What works for me in my home may not work for you.

1. Tolerance is the first thing every man should have in marriage. You see women, your wife, they can dare you to a fault. Especially when your wife knows that you can't physically assault her based on your personal decision not to lay your hands on her, she will push you to the wall. How do I overcome that temptation, I walk out or I pretend as if I'm not hearing her nags by paying 100% attention to my phone.
2. SEX: This is an issue that most women use as a bargaining chip or power over a man especially when she believes you are 100% faithful to her. HOWEVER, if she understands that you get side chick, she will to an extent understand that she doesn't have the monopoly of denying you that. I'm such a man that I'm soft hearted. If I want to deny her money which is my own bargaining power when she denies me sex, I think about how I will feel to see her starved or deny her what she can put to look good, I just give.
3. It's not always good to hand over your finances to a woman to manage. NA LIE, every woman is selfish. If she's not selfish to using the money for her personal needs, she sends it to her family. I no de give my wife wetin I no say if she no gimme account well of how she spent it e go vex me well.


.... To be contd

Nkemsplendid:
I met my husband back in UNN, we were both student politicians and there weren't many of us "born again" Christians interested in politics then so it was a small caucus. He started off as merely friends but given the rate at which he made those trips from Enugu to Nsukka Campus most weekends at a point I knew he was romantically interested in me. When I ran for speaker at my Faculty, he was a huge support. What was there not to love? He was handsome, well spoken, funny and extremely courageous. We eventually married in 2007 right after his NYSC and my own internship year.

Sixteen years down the line he still makes me laugh, we still have those heated PDP vs LP arguments and we are still each other's biggest supporter. I've thoroughly enjoyed the interdependency. We came from different backgrounds so the first few years were a learning curve. I grew up on campus with both professor parents, hardly went anywhere else, while he grew up all over Nigeria's Prison barracks. We've had to find middle ground on all the issues, spirituality, money, physical affection, children upbringing, luxury and trips etc. I'd marry him again in a heartbeat.

I feel real pity when I see how discouraged young people have become about marriage. I'm grateful I had the most positive outlook and it paid off. I would normally just jump and pass such topics but nowadays I try to take that risk and drop my own story so that those who need this positivity don't miss out. My own four children are all fast moving into their teens and I'd hate for them to only hear horror stories. I'm sure the cynics will still gather here to convince me that I'm just suffering, enduring and smiling. It's OK. Las Las, we will all be fine.❤

HRHQueenPhil:


Na u wan jinx am? No wonder some people don't like sharing their testimony cos u devil's in human clothing can't be satisfied seeing people genuinely happy in their marriage

Asour:



You criticized his comments for generalization but went on to make your own generalizations.

And who says the Average Chinese gets an Apartment before he marries.

The many Chinese who don't even see their children from urban factory jobs in cities or have troubles paying their mortgages yet are married are from what Nation?

ibechris:




Keep criticising everything and enjoy your stagnant.

I am not competing with u in any way.

Keep off and keep living in the past.

EriMma1:
Even thriving marriages have their ups and downs which only the fittest can survive. At the end of the day, na bills and responsibilities you go still meet inside the marriage, thriving or no thriving. So, nothing special. Just enduring suffering and smiling.

Owo ni Koko.

OGHENAOGIE:
one thing with nairaland is too much negativity or jokes cos it's mostly anonymous... Pple should share stories but na go here go there we just de read... The person quoting china forget in China govt handle or run mostly everything unlike Nigeria besides 5m as someone said is big money... Again it's a myopic woman that ll be thinking of just marriage celebration without how the marriage ll look like...

Nnamdipapa:


Are you married?

ibechris:



I totally disagree with u.

Don't use your situation to think others are passing through the same thing u are going through. In fact, the problem with most Nigerians is that,during courtships,most intending couples don't discuss matters that are of concern to their future.

They often don't prepare for the future and that is why,many are in dire need of financial and moral uplifting in their marriage.

In China,an average Chinese don't ever talk about marriage except they are able to acquire an apartment where he and his wife would live,but here in Nigeria,immediately a guy makes 5million naira he runs to marry and spend virtually all that he had acquired just to impress everyone.

That is why u see most marriage crashing on a daily basis.

Another reason is,most men marry liabilities and come back to regret ever making that mistake. I am not perfect,but I remembered asking my wife her financial role if we get married and what we would be investing our money into as time goes on. I also remembered,she once told me,that she would like me to take charge of whatever investment we shall be putting our money in since I was more versed in investment than her.

We discuss a lot that i can't say here.

Many intended couples invest so much time in preparing for wedding than preparing for marriage and the future ahead.

Lastly, before u prepare for marriage,sit down with ur wife to be,discuss money matters with her,don't marry a man or a woman who has no job,no hand work or education. If he or her parents are not rich,pls be careful. Some may be lucky while others may not be.

Note: many homes are enjoying their marriages and I am one of them,with this,i think I have made my points

Good luck.

EriMma1:
Even thriving marriages have their ups and downs which only the fittest can survive. At the end of the day, na bills and responsibilities you go still meet inside the marriage, thriving or no thriving. So, nothing special. Just enduring suffering and smiling.

Owo ni Koko.

Ultralexo:
Every marriage has its own challenges,but one thing I will always advise intending couple is to plan for the future and picture the life they want to have.
Someone wants told me never to make the mistake of marrying because of yansh and breast but I should make sure I married a woman who is doing something that is working or skilled person.thank God I took that advise.my marriage has been an upward and forward one.
Lastly before I forget always put God first and marry a God fearing woman.Regards.

EriMma1:


I'm not being negative but realistic. Don't get me wrong.

Marriage can only be sweet when there's enough money to meet your needs. I don't know if that's what your definition of " thriving" is. A situation where it's "thriving" in lack of funds or not enough, just know that it's endurance. Many are smiling in the face of adversity hardship and hope against hope.

Again, I'm not being negative.

Skyview01:


Are you married?

EriMma1:


Why?

Skyview01:
■ If you are not married, you would lack the experience to give opinion in a thread like this. The topic says for married people whose marriage are successful to share experiences not for single ladies or guys to give random opinions. No offense intended!

Kobojunkie:
1. That na bloody lie! I recently listened to a 4-year-old boy tell me what he thinks his father and mother should do since they quarrel/fight a lot. I was shocked that this toddler had the answer that the grown-ups could not or for some reason refused to accept as the best bet in their case.

No be only married people understand the dynamics of relationships. Even children do.

Skyview01:
■ That is quite interesting.