iyaamoke:
My marriage will be 20 years old in June. I have had my share of pain and tears particularly in my early years of marriage but over the years as both my husband and I grew, I have cone to understand the following:
1. To have a successful marriage, you have to be a continuous forgiver
2. You must be ready to serve selflessly both your husband and offsprings. In this wise, you may lose yourself but eventually, the rewards surpass the sacrifice
3. Learn to overlook issues that won't rock the boat of your marriage. You needn't nag or complain over every issue. Just allow something to rest
4. Submission as a wife (I learnt this really late and it robbed me of a lot of peace and joy). I have since come to realise that submission to your husband will break the hardest of hearts. By the way, why struggle over control with him? By the time he becomes old, he will depend on you to make sure all is going well. Then, you can call the shots if you like
5. Keep your relationship with God intact. This helps your heart to stay on course. The Spirt of God prompts you when you start misbehaving
6. As for money, trust me, the multitude of it doesn't make a peaceful home. Granted, lack of it may be frustrating but once you both learn to cut your coats according to your cloth, you will be fine
Hope this helps someone. Enjoy the week ahead

Deep.
Thanks for sharing.

Marriage is not about money or status, it is about true love from both sides; you both can overcome any circumstance. When there is money take care of your wife and children, develop her. Never marry a liability. Money makes Marriage sweet.

greatiyk4u:
Ever since I married her for many years now,
I have been growing from glory to glory
In my finances
My health....never been hospitalized
My family....I have 3 handsome healthy boys at the moment
Peaceful and understanding plus prayerful,GOD Fearing humble and understanding wife and inlaws

Not even the Buhari bad policies has hindered the growth though it slowed it down a bit due to my line of career but my family is sweet.

If you see where we are playfully dragging meet and fish, ice cream, snacks etc with my wife and children, marriage go begin hungry you.

For now, no issues at all

@the bolded, It will come. Brace for it. As certain as night comes after the day.

Irupetepete:
abi werey un se werey eleyi ni?
Who dash monkey banana?
Today alone, have seen your comments in about seven frontpage topics...
Abi to comment dey give u orgasm ni?

believe that stupid girl at your peril

I bet my balls that she's one single, bitter, mishievious girl under -30 years of age and probably under-employed.

No gainfully employed girl or married woman will be so jobless to be displaying stupidity every hour on naira land.

I'm sure she'll be reading your comment and laughing at your naivity

Marriage is partnership and not a master slave relationship. You discuss everything and anything with your partner. Decisions are made and agreed together. Discuss finances, religion and how many kids you want to have and how you intend to train your kids.

There's no book for all marriages. You read and tailor it to how it best suits you.

Don't marry liability and the things you know you cannot endure or take from your partner... Tell them and make it loud. If you cannot please please just walkway. Dont enter marriage with the notion that he or she will changeor it will get better over time, na there your whala start.

Most people plan for wedding and not marriage. You spend your time and money on pleasing people outside..... Give a good show outside so people we will say all is well with the family, meanwhile the husband is a beast at home.

Communication and mutual respect is key in marriage. Listen to your partner and take corrections. You will definitely change when you get married. As there's so many things that you will stop doing once you are married.

All marriages have their ups and downs. We have our disagreements and we settle our disputes within. No third party.

You must learn to apologise and forgive if you want to succeed. I don't mean you cheat on your partner and ask for forgiveness oooo. You have broken the trust in your marriage if you do it. Forgiveness does not mean your partner should forget it either. You have to work really hard to gain your partner's trust again... Some may end up leaving the marriage if they cannot trust anymore.



My two cents

nabiz:
married for 9years when we hardly eat, and till date we have never had a problem that last more than 12 ours. We did not just married till life do us apart, our marriage is till life and eternity. 9 years of marriage without pastor, fried or family members to come and settle us. My wife is the woman any man can have. I have the most wonderful family a man can think of

Good for you. So far all is great.
9 years is not a long time though.
Meanwhile, don't share secrets, quarrels with anybody, worse still, your pastor.

Zonefree:
Any man under the age of 45 coming here to say he's enjoying a thriving marriage with his Nigerian wife is telling a big fat lie!

I don't understand what you meant by this, honestly speaking. Are you talking about Nigerian women as bad wives? Or Nigerian men under the age of 45 incapable of enjoying marriages?

Hmmmmm, marriage.
Love,commitment are important factors, money/financial knowledge is key, forgiveness,sincerity,understanding are the bedrock and Tolerance is the tonic.
15 years,still on full throttle...we die here!!!

Akwamkpuruamu:
All I have to say here are my experiences in my marriage. I have been married for five years now with two kids, Girl and boy. What works for me in my home may not work for you.

1. Tolerance is the first thing every man should have in marriage. You see women, your wife, they can dare you to a fault. Especially when your wife knows that you can't physically assault her based on your personal decision not to lay your hands on her, she will push you to the wall. How do I overcome that temptation, I walk out or I pretend as if I'm not hearing her nags by paying 100% attention to my phone.
2. SEX: This is an issue that most women use as a bargaining chip or power over a man especially when she believes you are 100% faithful to her. HOWEVER, if she understands that you get side chick, she will to an extent understand that she doesn't have the monopoly of denying you that. I'm such a man that I'm soft hearted. If I want to deny her money which is my own bargaining power when she denies me sex, I think about how I will feel to see her starved or deny her what she can put to look good, I just give.
3. It's not always good to hand over your finances to a woman to manage. NA LIE, every woman is selfish. If she's not selfish to using the money for her personal needs, she sends it to her family. I no de give my wife wetin I no say if she no gimme account well of how she spent it e go vex me well.


.... To be contd

What if you don't have financial control over her, does that mean the marriage wount work? Imagine you both relocate and she gets a job, and gets empowered financially, I bet it the marriage will be in problem. Nacking and cash should not be used as leverage in marriage oh.
NB: Hope you don't do that bullshit called joint account.

Kobojunkie:
You forgot to define "thriving marriage". I mean Osinachi's marriage was thriving until the point that it cost her her life . So, explain what you mean abeg so we understand what exactly you are asking us of.

That wasn't thriving, they were just able to hide the truth/abuses from the public or third party.

Perewenkle1:
There are no perfect marriages, anyone who tells you their marriage is best or better is lying to you.
1. Love one another but remember that it takes one person to keep marriage going.
2. Never share your problems publicly or with anyone.
3. Keep your mom, mother or mother in-law or father in-law away from your problems including your pastors unless you tried all and failed.
4. Never carry your anger more few hours.
5. Share the house bills
6. If you have children love them and avoid Nigerian private school syndromes.

Okay, how do one avoid this? Care to explain or give insight?

BigBashiru:


Una go just sit down dey type nonsense....so it's the man that came into the world to suffer....

Lol. When it comes to outlining men's responsibilities, you go bunkers. It's a man's responsibility to provide. And providing isn't suffering.

maasoap:
■ That wasn't thriving, they were just able to hide the truth/abuses from the public or third party.

1. They were together until the end naw... they were thriving according to Nigerian levels oo.

1Sharon:
■ Are you married or not?

My Marriage is so sweet and lovely. For example in my house now, they had turn me to baby nurse and a domestic staff. Before I go to work I carry baby and when I Come back carry baby again tell I sleep. Thank God for budwieser that keeps me away from home sometimes if not I for don craze

EriMma1:


I'm not being negative but realistic. Don't get me wrong.

Marriage can only be sweet when there's enough money to meet your needs. I don't know if that's what your definition of " thriving" is. A situation where it's "thriving" in lack of funds or not enough, just know that it's endurance. Many are smiling in the face of adversity hardship and hope against hope.

Again, I'm not being negative.

May I ask you, how much money is enough money in marriage? I have seen couple who earns very well and yet have financial problems and I have also seen couples who sells kiosk and taxi driving living happily as if the world belongs to them. I no come understand.

UyaiIncomparabl:


Lol. When it comes to outlining men's responsibilities, you go bunkers. It's a man's responsibility to provide. And providing isn't suffering.

It's a woman's responsibility to provide for herself....

Wake up....

UyaiIncomparabl:


Lol. When it comes to outlining men's responsibilities, you go bunkers. It's a man's responsibility to provide. And providing isn't suffering.

Your own responsibility is to sit at home and stress a man financially and watch him die before his time....

BigBashiru:


It's a woman's responsibility to provide for herself....

Wake up....

Lol.

BigBashiru:


Your own responsibility is to sit at home and stress a man financially and watch him die before his time....

I believe in gender roles, baby.

iyaamoke:
My marriage will be 20 years old in June. I have had my share of pain and tears particularly in my early years of marriage but over the years as both my husband and I grew, I have cone to understand the following:
1. To have a successful marriage, you have to be a continuous forgiver
2. You must be ready to serve selflessly both your husband and offsprings. In this wise, you may lose yourself but eventually, the rewards surpass the sacrifice
3. Learn to overlook issues that won't rock the boat of your marriage. You needn't nag or complain over every issue. Just allow something to rest
4. Submission as a wife (I learnt this really late and it robbed me of a lot of peace and joy). I have since come to realise that submission to your husband will break the hardest of hearts. By the way, why struggle over control with him? By the time he becomes old, he will depend on you to make sure all is going well. Then, you can call the shots if you like
5. Keep your relationship with God intact. This helps your heart to stay on course. The Spirt of God prompts you when you start misbehaving
6. As for money, trust me, the multitude of it doesn't make a peaceful home. Granted, lack of it may be frustrating but once you both learn to cut your coats according to your cloth, you will be fine
Hope this helps someone. Enjoy the week ahead

Thank you for this deep insight

lavylilly:
Everyone is not like you, Are you saying no man is enjoying their marriage

I no no ooo, I dey enjoy my marriage ooo but Buhari cashless policies made it difficult... But it affected everyone

UyaiIncomparabl:


I believe in gender roles, baby.

Good luck with that

occfx:


May I ask you, how much money is enough money in marriage? I have seen couple who earns very well and yet have financial problems and I have also seen couples who sells kiosk and taxi driving living happily as if the world belongs to them. I no come understand.

Just have a high stable income and business on the side that will be generating steady income. this will require hardwork which is why I said young guys should strive to build their finance to a reasonable level and invest before going into marriage.

Marriage is all about communication, endurance, trust and forgiveness ....secret in marriages will break the edge.
Over 15 years in marriage, we started in a face me i face you, a one room apartment.
My wife came from a 3 bedroom apartment and decided to stay with me in a room where toilets are shared( unbelievable you will say)
My wife slept on the floor with me.
We set our priorities right, we sold our shares to get a 3 bedroom apartment in a choice area.
Now we live in our own house.
It has been tough, rough but with understanding and knowing who we are, it's been so far so good.
Yes money can be a a factor but it's not enough..
3 things you need to be a good partner as a man includes the following in moderation
Owo(money)
Ogbon( wisdom)
Oko (sexual satisfaction).
Finally the involvement of the holy spirit canot be ignored

I so submit

EriMma1:


Yeah. That too.

Are you married?

It has been really challenging, but the keywords are forbearance and understanding. These two have kept me going.

ibechris:




If he or her parents are not rich,pls be careful. Some may be lucky while others may not be.

This nonsense up there. Yorubas do not suck their in-laws at all, let alone suck them dry. So next time, before you generalize, use your brain to think!

franchasofficia:
As a married man with 4 year old successful marriage, I would advice single men to take note of the following before going into marriage:


1.) Marry a mature lady not babies below 25yrs


2.) Marry your friend not just your lover


3.) Make sure you have a steady means of earning legitimate income before you marry. It could be a job, a thriving or promising business or trade, just make sure you have a sustainable job or a promising business or trade with office or shop before you go into marriage.

Your contribution is the best so far. You didn't make any sweeping generalizations. Also, your points are strong, genuine and fair. Most importantly, it aligns with the teachings of the Holy Bible.

[quote author=lavylilly post=122176579][/quote]
Am 27years in my marriage but I can categorically tell you that there’s no thriving marriage anywhere it’ all depends on the level of tolerance, endurance,love and understanding between the couple , don’t let anyone deceive you that there’s a perfect marriage

IyaebeTheGreat:
Yes, I have five kids already

five children? Wen am not tony elumelu..how d marriage go sweet with all day expense

I 've been married for 15 years with four kids.
The first 2 years was self -discovery, mutual bonding and threshold limits... why
I left a relationship of 3 years supposedly leading to marriage to propose to a lady I meet under 2 weeks to pepper my ex. I married my wife barely 1 month we met. Thus, the quarrels and arguments within the first few years of the marriage.
My gamble eventually paid off cos she is the best wife for me. Neither of us Can even remember the topic of our last quarrel 8 months ago.
MONEY DOESN'T MAKE A GOOD MARRIAGE.