SundayNightGist:
It all started one bright Tuesday morning as I was rushing to my office at Egbeda from Igando. I happened to sit beside this beautiful young lady. From her looks, if anyone had told me the real identity of who I was seated beside, I would never ever have believed. This lady looked plum, fair, fresh, sexy, and classy- but most of all, she looked young- like someone in her late twenties.

As the danfo we boarded took off shakily due to age, I adjusted a little to balance well as I was seated by the door with the conductor hanging beside me. But I was uncomfortable still even after all the adjustments I made. The funny thing though is that this discomfort for me was coming from within and not as a result of the rickety bus I was in. And guess what? It was all caused by this beautiful angel seated right beside me.

So after so much fear of possible rejection and so many back-and-forths with self-talk within me, I finally manned up and decided to start talking to her. No, I did not say hi first. I simply used the popular traffic situation on that axis to make my entry.

Shockingly, she responded quite well! I was excited and continued chatting with her till I got to my bus stop at Pipeline. Our conversation went so well that it was unbelievably easy for me to collect her number. Somehow, I noticed she was happy to meet me too.

But funny me still found it hard to reach out to her afterward. It took me three whole weeks after we met inside that bus to sum up the courage to call her. To my surprise, she was not offended at all. In fact, she just laughed it off and made me feel so free talking to her over the phone.

One thing sha led to the other from there and we started seeing each other often. Only for her to confess to me that she is a single mom of two boys. She is twenty-eight. I have grown to love her so much as she pampers me a lot. In fact, she even spends her money on me at times, buying me gifts I never asked for. She wants to finish me with love. Anytime I try to refuse her gifts, stating that I am the man and the one who is even supposed to be spending more on her, she will get offended so much so that she might even not talk to me for days. I do feel pity for her doing all these but she seems to love me even more than I love her.

After dating her for a little over a year now, she's saying she wants us to settle down together but I'm having serious concerns about settling down with her.

In fact, my friends do tell me that I have hit the jackpot of true love and I'm tempted to believe them myself, just that I have reservations about her being a single mom. Now, before you judge me, here are the reasons why I'm worried about agreeing to settle down with her:

1) What if she's been pretending all along just to get me to marry her? What if what she really wants is a man who will train and provide for her and her two sons, hence the reason for her submission and endless show of love… Also, why did her baby daddy leave her if she has been the good woman she's assuring me of being?
2) What if her baby daddy decides to return one day and have his way again? Won't I be the one to lose out in the end? Okafor’s law on my mind right now
3) She may never have true intimate connection with me in the long-run
4) And her sons, what if they grow up to hate me?
5) What if she's just using me to get back at her baby daddy? (To make him jealous)

Or is something wrong with me? Is this an opportunity of a lifetime I'm about to throw away just like that? I'm seriously bothered. Please advise a brother.

Instead of asking us the questions why not ask her. Take the boys to get ice cream and ask when last they saw their dad . Why they thought the mum left their father ?
Ask for the father and call him and talk to him - man o man except you just playing the field.
Whatever you do just make sure you do a HIV test etc for both of you ?
More importantly if you don’t see any path .. break it up before you break her heart . When she gives make sure you also give or give her kids !
Good luck
PS i would marry her if she ticked all the boxes.

It is from clapping you enter dancing. Just be wise. The leaf goats eat, is the leaf that normally kill them for over eating.

rickleye:


Instead of asking us the questions why not ask her. Take the boys to get ice cream and ask when last they saw their dad . Why they thought the mum left their father ?
Ask for the father and call him and talk to him - man o man except you just playing the field.
Whatever you do just make sure you do a HIV test etc for both of you ?
More importantly if you don’t see any path .. break it up before you break her heart . When she gives make sure you also give or give her kids !
Good luck
PS i would marry her if she ticked all the boxes.

Thank you chief, you have spoken well.
But why HIV test though?

onome2013:
It is from clapping you enter dancing. Just be wise. The leaf goats eat, is the leaf that normally kill them for over eating.

Omo this your parable deep o
Very scary something!

Templee333:
Maybe she's now a born-again christian

You're not nice

SundayNightGist:
why did her baby daddy leave her

The question I always ask any man who wants to date a single mother whose baby father is still alive is why did her baby father abandon her with kids ??

It is not in a Nigerian mans nature and upbringing to abandon his kids and when I see men especially abroad running after single mothers as if they have won the lottery, I shake my head because the evil spirit resident in the single mother that made the man run for his dear life out of that toxic relationship is still resident in her and all the niceness the woman displays initially is meant to let the man drop his guards and take FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY for her and another mans kids and because the new boyfriend may not know how expensive raising kids is in reality he falls for the trap.

The younger a single mothers kids are, the faster any potential new boyfriend should run away from her because Nigerian men in most cases do not abandon their kids especially when the kids are very young.

E be like make some hapless guy meet a single mother in the UK when her kids are still young and think he has found a life partner. Ha. God help such a man 'cos for a man to abandon his very young kids and run for his dear life tells you a lot about the toxicity resident in his baby mamma.

Rokiat:
If what led her to be a single mother isn’t something beyond her control like she was married before and her husband passed away or she was married and got divorced because of abuse etc then be very careful.

I still can’t wrap my head around why women would be complaining about niggas but then open their legs and have a baby with them out of wedlock.

Having a man’s child is the highest honour you can give him and as a woman being a single mother comes with so many disadvantages such as well read this thread. For all we know she could be a good woman but that stigma is there hence why you are apprehensive. So I don’t know why women risk it to give niggas kids free out of wedlock when you are the one at disadvantage.


Women will be complaining about not cooking or cleaning for no man that’s not their husband but will gladly open their legs wide and receive his seeds and give him a baby free of charge out of wedlock make it make sense.


Being a single mother is tough and should not be normalised (out of wedlock offcourse) and you have other women enabling them throwing babies showers when bi..tches get pregnant for these good for nothing dudes no what we need is to bring shame back so women can stop doing this to themselves. It doesn’t do you any good in the long run to be popping babies for these men free of charge without him putting a ring on it. It is absolutely unbelievable and doing it over and over again is what baffles me. Shouldn’t women be more smarter by now in this time of information to have Educated themselves enough to know if a man doesn’t commit fully to you aka marry you, stop giving them children just stop.

Ya all out here flipping the game on us, making men the prize giving them kids free of charge. What did that man give you in return other than his presence? The worst one is seeing 3 different women being baby mama for the same man fighting ove that man attention. Goodness gracious someone that couldn’t even give you his last name. Using your bodies and wombs and risking your lives to give children to men without marriage. My generation so damn lost.

NasoLifeBe!!!

I learnt alot from your Comment... Reasonable person like u dey scarce for this forum..... I need to follow u so to gain more from ur knowledge.

Gerrard59:



That said, the story is OP's imagination. His profile says he is a story teller.

NasoLifeBe!!!

You are right, I thought I was the only one that figured it out... U are to wise!!!

All Women are actress, only few get paid

seeker121:
Run ooo talking from experience most of dem pretend to get what they want.

Besides have you heard her own side of the story what led to their separation.

My brother he doesn't need to hear any side of any story, let him just run oo...most people will not understand until they enter