I'll try to make this as simple as possible!

I am a single father, presently seeing a single mother. As I believe it should be, we both shared events that led to our individual Marital breakdown, and relationships after. I only dated 2 within my one year of divorce(had intimacy with one and ended the second during talking stage). She told me hers were two within TWO and HALF yrs of divorce( One ended because of genotype and the other wouldn't marry a single mum).

Fast forward after doing my background check very well. I discovered she had actually slept with SEVEN( Two married, 1 single father, 2 single guys and 2 FWB) within 21/2yrs of divorce(alot for me to handle though)

This she opened up after series of lies and manipulations and WAR, and when she took me to a Pastor and the pastor said we are good to go, but some of her friends would come and tell me rumors about her that I shouldn't be bothered. So, I had to press her till she opened up some... then, later, others!

My issue now is she is always receiving calls and msgs from men home and abroad(behind me, cos she wouldn'tpick in my presence and her phone is always on silence). She had blocked alot(she said about 70 and I'm like wow... later she said some females friends inclusive), but the calls wouldn't stop coming. Infact, she still keep contacts of people she has had stuffs with. She deleted all(supposedly), but I discovered she still keep the contact of one of the FWB(They had it twice in his house), now blocked too!

I couldn't just come to terms with how she seems to be the only female with many male friends(believe me when I say many). Obviously, she willing to settle down, but it's like some forces are really messing with her head. Took my time to tell her this isn't healthy... as she mistakenly slept with 2 of her friends already... Just to avoid further events she should stop male friends, but she is always giving excuses for some. Spoke to her mum about it too, and she said whe would change that it is gradual, that she will never cheat in our marriage!

My second issue with her is she is too aggressive. Infact, we had many heated arguments that I ended slapping her on two occasions before she became calm. Bad mouth, almost giving me headbutt, locking and tearing my knickers, spoiling my door... and If I couldn't bear any more I slap her to reset her brain(anytime I discover her lies, she will start wahala).

I am not a woman beater, but I can conveniently make case for some men that women brought the beast out of them. On a night she told me either she kills me or I kill her. I had to beg so she wouldn't kill me overnight. I only called her a liar and she began her aggression as usual, raising her voice to high heavens, disturbing my neighbors, abusing me... before I slapped her.(I am afraid the slap is the medicine, which i can't continue to do)

Spiritually she is good, I've prayed and saw good dreams about her. But, the aggression and men issue is killing me.

My fear is won't she cheat on me in our marriage and won't we end up as a royal rumble couples as she is too aggressive and unapologetic. She could keep to herself as long as she wants(whenever we have issues), but I am the lovey dovey type. I end up appeasing her to come to me at every issue.

She only begs and cries back to me after a day or two(Note: She wouldn't even admit her wrongs, she will only cry that why am I particular about her past. I'm always like but there are still in our present, until you do away with them completely(No chatting/calling, even with male friends of these men o)!

We've both seen our parents and getting married soon, as I've already proposed to her!

She and her family also wants me to keep and take care of her child, when the father is hale and hearty and balling. I have custody of mine, because I want my ex to have freedom to get herself and start life again without any burden or responsibility(mutually agreed).

The guy is always facetiming the child, but when is time for responsibilities, he comes up with different excuses, obviously he has the money, but only playing smart.

Thanks for your time!

I don't see this ending very well should you decide to go through with it. As much as we'd want to, there are some things we cannot change about some people no matter how hard we try.

Run for your dear life!
I warned u oooo.
Same thing as happen to me in the past but I never allow nonsense love to blindfold me, I quickly run.now the guy that eventually married the lady is now in hell, always reporting her to her mother about men matter,and her mother most time supported her.
My brother peace is better run ooooooo

Dig well, she's still sleeping with her ex too.

There is a reason why she wasn't wife by her baby dad.

Better run oooooooo.

You mean you still need advise despite the deep bloody red flag presented to you? It is well. Just know that you havent seen anything yet o....this phase is still the initial gragra phase when things are sweeter

it baffles me how people will see danger and still choose to go ahead.
it's like seeing a truck load of trash from lawma, and believing you can convert it to a maserati.

this lady is possessed.

you better run.

jade001:
I'll try to make this as simple as possible!

I am a single father, presently seeing a single mother. As I believe it should be, we both shared events that led to our individual Marital breakdown, and relationships after. I only dated 2 within my one year of divorce(had intimacy with one and ended the second during talking stage). She told me hers were two within TWO and HALF yrs of divorce( One ended because of genotype and the other wouldn't marry a single mum).

Fast forward after doing my background check very well. I discovered she had actually slept with SEVEN( Two married, 1 single father, 2 single guys and 2 FWB) within 21/2yrs of divorce(alot for me to handle though)

This she opened up after series of lies and manipulations and WAR, and when she took me to a Pastor and the pastor said we are good to go, but some of her friends would come and tell me rumors about her that I shouldn't be bothered. So, I had to press her till she opened up some... then, later, others!

My issue now is she is always receiving calls and msgs from men home and abroad(behind me, cos she wouldn'tpick in my presence and her phone is always on silence). She had blocked alot(she said about 70 and I'm like wow... later she said some females friends inclusive), but the calls wouldn't stop coming. Infact, she still keep contacts of people she has had stuffs with. She deleted all(supposedly), but I discovered she still keep the contact of one of the FWB(They had it twice in his house), now blocked too!

I couldn't just come to terms with how she seems to be the only female with many male friends(believe me when I say many). Obviously, she willing to settle down, but it's like some forces are really messing with her head. Took my time to tell her this isn't healthy... as she mistakenly slept with 2 of her friends already... Just to avoid further events she should stop male friends, but she is always giving excuses for some. Spoke to her mum about it too, and she said whe would change that it is gradual, that she will never cheat in our marriage!

My second issue with her is she is too aggressive. Infact, we had many heated arguments that I ended slapping her on two occasions before she became calm. Bad mouth, almost giving me headbutt, locking and tearing my knickers, spoiling my door... and If I couldn't bear any more I slap her to reset her brain(anytime I discover her lies, she will start wahala).

I am not a woman beater, but I can conveniently make case for some men that women brought the beast out of them. On a night she told me either she kills me or I kill her. I had to beg so she wouldn't kill me overnight. I only called her a liar and she began her aggression as usual, raising her voice to high heavens, disturbing my neighbors, abusing me... before I slapped her.(I am afraid the slap is the medicine, which i can't continue to do)

Spiritually she is good, I've prayed and saw good dreams about her. But, the aggression and men issue is killing me.

My fear is won't she cheat on me in our marriage and won't we end up as a royal rumble couples as she is too aggressive and unapologetic. She could keep to herself as long as she wants(whenever we have issues), but I am the lovey dovey type. I end up appeasing her to come to me at every issue.

She only begs and cries back to me after a day or two(Note: She wouldn't even admit her wrongs, she will only cry that why am I particular about her past. I'm always like but there are still in our present, until you do away with them completely(No chatting/calling, even with male friends of these men o)!

We've both seen our parents and getting married soon, as I've already proposed to her!

She and her family also wants me to keep and take care of her child, when the father is hale and hearty and balling. I have custody of mine, because I want my ex to have freedom to get herself and start life again without any burden or responsibility(mutually agreed).

The guy is always facetiming the child, but when is time for responsibilities, he comes up with different excuses, obviously he has the money, but only playing smart.

Thanks for your time!

I just pity your marriage if you go ahead with it.... You'll not say you did not see the red flags!!!
If you can not trust her before you marry her, you think you will after marriage especially if work takes you out of town for months

I don't know the kind of advice you want us to give to you, when you have all the answers you need to make an easy decision.

If you marry that lady, you'll definitely regret it. You deserve better. Let her go.

@jade001, walk away for your own good.

wis3:
I don't see this ending very well should you decide to go through with it. As much as we'd want to, there are some things we cannot change about some people no matter how hard we try.

@jade001... You were planning to marry someone, and already, headache, heartache don dey worry you ontop wetin you dey see about the person... Is that not a clear message for you.?

The lady is not ready for marriage yet. Life still dey here body. And I guess, she is still a young single mother.

According to your post, there're too many red flags. You don't see fire and walk into it.

sisisioge:


You mean you still need advise despite the deep bloody red flag presented to you? It is well. Just know that you havent seen anything yet o....this phase is still the initial gragra phase when things are sweeter

😆😆

this man sef...

na slap dey reset her brain

I don laff tire....

I actually read this. So let me understand. Your potential spouse, a single mother, has had relationships and sexual encounters with over 70 men since her marriage broke down. She is violent, disrespectful, unapologetic and is hell bent on carrying on communication with her supposed exes.
You still want to bring her and her baggage home. You want to cater for her child even when the father is still alive. Meanwhile, you also have your own child. That's two kids already. You may still have more when you marry her. In this economy?

Let me ask OP a question, if a woman has had 70 relationships after the break down of her marraige and none of those men thought her for enough to make a wife, why are you the one cursed to doing so?

Do you not love yourself? Is that how much you hate yourself? She has shown you why her first marriage failed! Yours with her will FAIL TOO!

Do not go ahead and marry this woman. You will regret it.

Dogalmighty17:
I actually read this. So let me understand. Your potential spouse, a single mother, has had relationships and sexual encounters with over 70 men since her marriage broke down. She is violent, disrespectful, unapologetic and is hell bent on carrying on communication with her supposed exes.
You still want to bring her and her baggage home. You want to cater for her child even when the father is still alive. Meanwhile, you also have your own child. That's two kids already. You may still have more when you marry her. In this economy?

Let me ask OP a question, if a woman has had 70 relationships after the break down of her marraige and none of those men thought her for enough to make a wife, why are you the one cursed to doing so?

Do you not love yourself? Is that how much you hate yourself? She has shown you why her first marriage failed! Yours with her will FAIL TOO!

Do not go ahead and marry this woman. You will regret it.

The Op said it's 7 - Seven, and not 70 - Seventy.

It will end in premium tears

No be for my mouth you go hear say your fiancee na call girl, mbanu.

Her aggressiveness and war-ness nature as you painted it is something to be talked about too but no be me go talk am.

Happy married life in advance biko.

You better chase her away asap, else your trouser will no longer size your waist again.

Its better to give birth to a thief than a fool.

Two things must happen after you marry her. she willl still have at least 5 men she stilll sleeps with and yours truly one of you will end up dead or hospitalized.

LOl poster na mugu sha, you prayed and she is good spiritually? yet cheats on you and you mumu asked her mom and you expected her mom to discourage you from marrying a liability to their family?

how old are you again?
who really raised the men we have lately? so weak and foolish.

Advise: Avoid single mums like plague, it's that simple.

jade001:
I'll try to make this as simple as possible!

1. Fast forward after doing my background check very well. I discovered she had actually slept with SEVEN( Two married, 1 single father, 2 single guys and 2 FWB) within 21/2yrs of divorce(alot for me to handle though)


2. My second issue with her is she is too aggressive.

3. She and her family also wants me to keep and take care of her child, when the father is hale and hearty and balling. The guy is always facetiming the child, but when is time for responsibilities, he comes up with different excuses, obviously he has the money, but only playing smart.

You know these three things and you are asking for other people's opinions on what to do! The joke is on you.

Red flags!!! Run.

When you need redpillers to come do their job you'll not see them but anywhere they hear the sound of Hakimi they'll be dancing naked around such kind of topics. Op shame Dy catch me for you. IMO you never mature for marriage

All this wahala on top one divorcee? It's very obvious that these are the reasons why her ex divorce her.

Very soon slap alone will not be enough to reset her brain.. before you know you might end up in prison for murder. You better run for your life oo

IyaebeTheGreat:
When you need redpillers to come do their job you'll not see them but anywhere they hear the sound of Hakimi they'll be dancing naked around such kind of topics. Op shame Dy catch me for you. IMO you never mature for marriage

😆 😆... This aunty and her b.. mouth. 😆 😆

I didn't even finish the story after I read she's a good woman, you've dreamt good dreams, but she'd rather you kill her or she kills you somewhere up there.

Better open your eyes, wear your most convenient shoes and RUN!

You can't handle that kinda woman in marriage, she's obviously ahead of you and with a lot of baggage, the only thing you have over her is your seeming masculine strength.

Dogalmighty17:
I actually read this. So let me understand. Your potential spouse, a single mother, has had relationships and sexual encounters with over 70 men since her marriage broke down. She is violent, disrespectful, unapologetic and is hell bent on carrying on communication with her supposed exes.
You still want to bring her and her baggage home. You want to cater for her child even when the father is still alive. Meanwhile, you also have your own child. That's two kids already. You may still have more when you marry her. In this economy?

Let me ask OP a question, if a woman has had 70 relationships after the break down of her marraige and none of those men thought her for enough to make a wife, why are you the one cursed to doing so?

Do you not love yourself? Is that how much you hate yourself? She has shown you why her first marriage failed! Yours with her will FAIL TOO!

Do not go ahead and marry this woman. You will regret it.

I think he's financially ok dats y she's clinging to him

Or she’s financially okay, that’s why he’s feeling she’s spiritually good? 🤧

cunny88:
I think he's financially ok dats y she's clinging to him

Keeping so many men… 😢

To have such huge numbers of male friends, trust me she is servicing them somewhere in exchange for money. Somewhere she is popular like ashewo joint or high class hotels. And non is even for to engage her or marry her? Seems you never fok any woman like her before, and you are totally lost in lust after her. Signs are there. It will need up in premium tears within a year.It won't be far.

How is this person u described a good woman please? I don't understand how u drew that conclusion. Old habits die hard Mr Op and if she has been as active as u claim, you better retrace your steps