GboyegaD:


Before you start ranting and blaming a woman you have no idea what role she's played in what you read, have you asked yourself why the brother is not even telling his brother things? Is his wife with him 24/7? There's more to issues like this than you can tell.

My brother was deaf! Deaf!! My mum warned him sternly against this evil woman.
First, he had a wife who gave him a boy already, but the mother of that girl didn't let her stay with my brother so he has to marry this particular one.
But before my mum passed on last year, this wife didn't like my mum at all, infact they stopped my mum from visiting them, and my brother took sides with his wife, thinking to be a strong man to his own family by distancing himself from his mother and family..
But things got worse for him, parked from a flat to a room, his school(he's a proprietor) value and numbers dropped heavily and he sold his car.. All these, he still wouldn't speak with any of his siblings, even when we called him on phone to check on him as a brother ,his wife would be the one to pick our calls or tell us he's not around..

Clearly, the wife didn't like my mum at all.. and I know my mum, she wanted the best for her son that's all and she made findings about the lady before she moved in with him., So my mum had her reasons to reject her.

We all don't like the wife, infact my dad who's a pastor (aged) doesn't like her, she couldn't even visit my Dad since the passing away of my mum since last year April.

So, If not that the wife was a bad woman.. Even if your husband is going through shits, you're the closest to him and you would have called on his family, when they took him to hospital for the blood stuff, we paid the money as siblings that was when she called.

Offpointng:


When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

Wow, God bless you brother... Exactly my point!!!
My brother couldn't open up anymore because he detached himself already. someone who didn't visit his mum in hospital and he stays a bus away and neither did his wife called my mum till she passed.

My brother died in silence 😭, thinking he'd put everything in control but it was getting worse and worse.

The woman errred by not informing her in-laws about their brother's health challenges. That's what a good woman would done, even she wasn't on speaking terms with them. Now, your brother is dead, anything you plan to do would further divide the family and even have impact on his children.

dboY1123:


My brother was deaf! Deaf!! My mum warned him sternly against this evil woman.
First, he had a wife who gave him a boy already, but the mother of that girl didn't let her stay with my brother so he has to marry this particular one.
But before my mum passed on last year, this wife didn't like my mum at all, infact they stopped my mum from visiting them, and my brother took sides with his wife, thinking to be a strong man to his own family by distancing himself from his mother and family..
But things got worse for him, parked from a flat to a room, his school(he's a proprietor) value and numbers dropped heavily and he sold his car.. All these, he still wouldn't speak with any of his siblings, even when we called him on phone to check on him as a brother ,his wife would be the one to pick our calls or tell us he's not around..

Clearly, the wife didn't like my mum at all.. and I know my mum, she wanted the best for her son that's all and she made findings about the lady before she moved in with him., So my mum had her reasons to reject her.

We all don't like the wife, infact my dad who's a pastor (aged) doesn't like her, she couldn't even visit my Dad since the passing away of my mum since last year April.

So, If not that the wife was a bad woman.. Even if your husband is going through shits, you're the closest to him and you would have called on his family, when they took him to hospital for the blood stuff, we paid the money as siblings that was when she called.

What exactly made her a bad woman?
From the look of things you people hated her first, you even disagreed with the marriage.
What where you expecting her to do?
Crawl to you people for love?
believe your mum went to make trouble in her home hoping her son will stand by her.
No wonder your brother distanced from you people's toxicity.

Abeg leave that woman to mourn her husband and plan how to look after her children.
Wicked people.

Offpointng:
When we tell Guys dont marry a woman your family ain't confidently in agreement with they'd bring up a real man this and that. Now this is one of the results, The Wife will move on in couple of weeks while the pain stays with the real family for a long time

Guys out there you really need to wake up tbh cuz I can't seem to understand how a woman would easily turn you from the Parent and Siblings you spent virtually most of ur life with

So a man's wife and children are his fake family?

Just make sure you marry your sister or female cousin, so your family will continue to be real!

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

If you loved your brother so much, why didn't you check up on him? When he was in the hospital, why didn't you follow up on his case and ensure he got the best of medical care. Now you want to use his death to frustrate his wife. You must be crazy.
Your brother made his choice of his wife and how he wants to live his life with her. Now he is gone and the one person he loved the most should be encouraged to move on with life. It would not be better for you if you try to heap more troubles on the poor woman.

Offpointng:
When we tell Guys dont marry a woman your family ain't confidently in agreement with they'd bring up a real man this and that. Now this is one of the results, The Wife will move on in couple of weeks while the pain stays with the real family for a long time

Guys out there you really need to wake up tbh cuz I can't seem to understand how a woman would easily turn you from the Parent and Siblings you spent virtually most of ur life with

And he visited them a day before he died? The OP should manage his aggressions the right way.

So your brother could not open up to you about his health issues? You only got to know after his death yet you think the wife is the problem? Your brother wasn't in coma before his admission so why didn't he open up to you?? People with BP and insomnia can talk, chat, and make calls.

This is the truth. Your brother has always been an easy going, private person that loves to keep his stuff private.

The private life you and your entire family couldn't change before his marriage, you expect him to change his lifestyle because he married a Miracle Worker and Prophetess or a Professor of Human Behaviour?

Una dey crase. You and everyone else involved in this blame game.

dboY1123:


My brother was deaf! Deaf!! My mum warned him sternly against this evil woman.
First, he had a wife who gave him a boy already, but the mother of that girl didn't let her stay with my brother so he has to marry this particular one.
But before my mum passed on last year, this wife didn't like my mum at all, infact they stopped my mum from visiting them, and my brother took sides with his wife, thinking to be a strong man to his own family by distancing himself from his mother and family..
But things got worse for him, parked from a flat to a room, his school(he's a proprietor) value and numbers dropped heavily and he sold his car.. All these, he still wouldn't speak with any of his siblings, even when we called him on phone to check on him as a brother ,his wife would be the one to pick our calls or tell us he's not around..

Clearly, the wife didn't like my mum at all.. and I know my mum, she wanted the best for her son that's all and she made findings about the lady before she moved in with him., So my mum had her reasons to reject her.

We all don't like the wife, infact my dad who's a pastor (aged) doesn't like her, she couldn't even visit my Dad since the passing away of my mum since last year April.

So, If not that the wife was a bad woman.. Even if your husband is going through shits, you're the closest to him and you would have called on his family, when they took him to hospital for the blood stuff, we paid the money as siblings that was when she called.

The mother of the ex wife of your brother had her reasons for rejecting your brother.

If you contest this, you're a hypocrite.

Remember she also wants the best for her daughter.

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

This is a sensitive issue

First of all, you have to conduct an autopsy to be sure of what killed him, do you have the money

Secondly, the lack of relationship that exists between her and your family, irrespective of who's fault it is, is part of what lead to your brother's death

I think the best you can do on the presence of the rest members of the family is to let her know that she distance your brother from the rest of his family and other things you can mention are part of what traumatized your brother to death. In this case, you won't be the only one talking have a meeting with other members of your family and you guys will speak with one voice, lead by the most senior of the family.

At least she will know that you guys have an idea of what went on before his death

Its now left with you people to relate with her or not after his burial

Family matters are very sensitive because as a case like this, your brother never said any she did to him, probably he was enduring the pains till death

So judging her will be difficult as the other party is not there to defend or prove any allegations

Who knows if your brother was the problem she had
Who knows what your brother passed through in her hand, with secret tears in the marriage

Hand them all to God no need for police case

You don't have any proof that she had a hand in her husband's death, but already you're thinking of getting her arrested?

Like really, is your police your playground to a point that you're willing to waste their resources over something you have no proof of?

If I was your brother's wife, I was going to gladly let you get me arrested and then press charges for defamation of character while at the police station because I'm very sure that you would have no case against me.

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

dominique:
Op this was you less than a year ago



@bolded was it your brother's wife that prevented your other siblings from being there for your mother? That's the thing with siblings of married men, they find it very convenient to blame the wife as if their brother is some kind of puppet. Only God knows the kind of resentment you and the other members of your family showed her. Possibly the reason she didn't come to visit your mum or why your brother unconsciously distanced himself from the rest of your family. Imagine threatening to arrest a grieving widow because she didn't tell you her husband was sick, i wish the woman can come here to recount what she passed through in the hands of these in-laws from hell.

This my brother was the second born of the family, he is compassionate, nice and he loved his family not until this lady came in..
The point is, Since my mum warned my brother against this lady, my brother took a step backward from us all, and since then more than 4/5 years, I knew things weren't right. There's no mutualisms, true love between his and our family.

That was part of d reason my brother didn't stand up for his mum. Things already started heating up. My other elder ones don't stay as close to my mum. My and my brother are the closest, and moreover he didn't spend a dime in hospital bills of my mum and imagine that. More like it was intentional.. Not even 5k.

From what my brother did during those times my mum was sick, I detest him..and he knew it. Has the Second born and a man, he should be the front-runner..
Infact, my brother stopped coming to my dad's church completely, and he was d choirmaster. Everything was strange like something came upon him.

I think I should woman needs serious questioning.

The man may be her husband but he's your brother, family and your parents son.

The woman will remarry but you won't get your brother back.

dboY1123:
■ This my brother was the second born of the family, he is compassionate, nice and he loved his family not until this lady came in.. The point is, Since my mum warned my brother against this lady, my brother took a step backward from us all, and since then more than 4/5 years, I knew things weren't right. There's no mutualisms, true love between his and our family. That was part of d reason my brother didn't stand up for his mum. Things already started heating up. My other elder ones don't stay as close to my mum. My and my brother are the closest, and moreover he didn't spend a dime in hospital bills of my mum and imagine that. More like it was intentional.. Not even 5k. From what my brother did during those times my mum was sick, I detest him..and he knew it. Has the Second born and a man, he should be the front-runner.. Infact, my brother stopped coming to my dad's church completely, and he was d choirmaster. Everything was strange like something came upon him.

1. Then why blame the wife for what you admit was your brother's doing?

You did say your brother only lived a bus away. Why didn't you take this anger of yours to him before his death? Why wait till now to spew vitriol against his widow instead? No be cowardice dem dey call this ?

dmostcheerful:

What exactly made her a bad woman?
From the look of things you people hated her first, you even disagreed with the marriage.
What where you expecting her to do?
Crawl to you people for love?
believe your mum went to make trouble in her home hoping her son will stand by her.
No wonder your brother distanced from you people's toxicity.

Abeg leave that woman to mourn her husband and plan how to look after her children.
Wicked people.

Anyways, I wish your brother out of wedlock marries a strange woman who'd not let him know his family anymore, you'll understand that women are the source of all our problems even from Adam's time.

What your parents sees sitting down, none of you can see it standing up even having to support your legs.. if you hated ur mum because she advised u about a particular woman who didn't come into the family properly or formerly, without any knowledge of whom she is and used to be, you'll understand my plight.

If your brother was doing fine before he meets a lady and suddenly things started changing for bad.. you'll understand.
That's why I will never marry any Abk girl, never!!

Offpointng:
When we tell Guys dont marry a woman your family ain't confidently in agreement with they'd bring up a real man this and that. Now this is one of the results, The Wife will move on in couple of weeks while the pain stays with the real family for a long time

Guys out there you really need to wake up tbh cuz I can't seem to understand how a woman would easily turn you from the Parent and Siblings you spent virtually most of ur life with

Are you and your mother a fake family to your dad?

1Sharon:


The mother of the ex wife of your brother had her reasons for rejecting your brother.

If you contest this, you're a hypocrite.

Remember she also wants the best for her daughter.

She's from Abeokuta.. you know what I mean?

Kobojunkie:
1. Then why blame the wife for what you admit was your brother's doing?

You did say your brother only lived a bus away. Why didn't you take this anger of yours to him before his death? Why wait till now to spew vitriol against his widow instead? No be cowardice dem dey call this ?

That's because
1. I'm the last born of the family, he is way older than me.
2. I knew it was what he chose and most especially what his wife made him to be.
3. I knew he did everything deliberately, and that's because my he believed my mum/family didn't want the both of them together .

So I know the case, I have no reason to fight him or anything.

dboY1123:

That's because
1. I'm the last born of the family, he is way older than me.
2. I knew it was what he chose and most especially what his wife made him to be.
3. I knew he did everything deliberately, and that's because my he believed my mum/family didn't want the both of them together .

So I know the case, I have no reason to fight him or anything.

So also you have no reason to fight his now widow.

Face front and build your own life, start your own family and let her and her children be!

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

Did you people go for an autopsy? When will your ilk stop this primitive act of harassing widows, have you guys no shame?

Offpointng:


When reading always put intuition into it (no vex boss). if both of us used to be a very good friend or Gee and a guy from no where snatch me from you that I begin to avoid or limit the way I relate with you. if one day, that from no where guy one day steal my things or fraud me, You think I'll be confident enough to tell you so you can mock me?? That's the case of what happened to OP's brother. The wife detached him from the family and telling them what he's going through in the hands of the wife will only bring mock and the blame "Didn't we warn you?" thereby escalating his regrets

The Op's brother knew he bleeped up and figured it's his cross to carry which he did silently

Stop sounding unintelligent. No human being can detach you from another human being without your consent except you are hypnotized or just a puppet.

dboY1123:
I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday.
He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so.
I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses.
I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything.
Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her.
Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police?
Modified

You may try, but you will have to watch your back at all times

dboY1123:


This my brother was the second born of the family, he is compassionate, nice and he loved his family not until this lady came in..
The point is, Since my mum warned my brother against this lady, my brother took a step backward from us all, and since then more than 4/5 years, I knew things weren't right. There's no mutualisms, true love between his and our family.

That was part of d reason my brother didn't stand up for his mum. Things already started heating up. My other elder ones don't stay as close to my mum. My and my brother are the closest, and moreover he didn't spend a dime in hospital bills of my mum and imagine that. More like it was intentional.. Not even 5k.

From what my brother did during those times my mum was sick, I detest him..and he knew it. Has the Second born and a man, he should be the front-runner..
Infact, my brother stopped coming to my dad's church completely, and he was d choirmaster. Everything was strange like something came upon him.

Your brother had a life to live and he lived it. In the course of his life he made some mistakes. Now it is sad that he is gone. It is obvious you are directing your anger on your late brother's behaviour on the wife which should not be so. I advise you try and learn from your brother's mistakes and move on. This is clearly not a case of murder or poisoning so do not make it such. Time to move on.

JovialJune:



.

Seems the thing pepper your body....The truth hurts my darling....go and do your research...Go and Verify.

Common arrest the woman, I hate nonsense,if the husband is sick,why not report to the family ASAP

@op please accept my condolences and allow sleeping dog to lie, arresting her will not bring back the death. Learn from your brother's mistake and avoid such in future.

IyaebeTheGreat:
In as much as I hate toxic inlaws please women should learn never to cause division in a family. Women should be a bridge, a peacemaker and have that forgiven spirit. Know where to put your leg and when to hide your head. He's just your husband and not your property, stop colonising men away from their family just because he has married you. Be a unifier, a peacemaker and above all an IYAEBE.

A guest here will now think you have sense.

dboY1123:
■ That's because
1. I'm the last born of the family, he is way older than me.
2. I knew it was what he chose and most especially what his wife made him to be.
3. I knew he did everything deliberately, and that's because my he believed my mum/family didn't want the both of them together .

So I know the case, I have no reason to fight him or anything.

1. You had no reason to fight him whom you know well did as he pleased yet you see fit to attack his widow like a coward? Wow?

Are we not all in the year 2023 abeg? Wetin be this!

dboY1123:


My brother was deaf! Deaf!! My mum warned him sternly against this evil woman.
First, he had a wife who gave him a boy already, but the mother of that girl didn't let her stay with my brother so he has to marry this particular one.
But before my mum passed on last year, this wife didn't like my mum at all, infact they stopped my mum from visiting them, and my brother took sides with his wife, thinking to be a strong man to his own family by distancing himself from his mother and family..
But things got worse for him, parked from a flat to a room, his school(he's a proprietor) value and numbers dropped heavily and he sold his car.. All these, he still wouldn't speak with any of his siblings, even when we called him on phone to check on him as a brother ,his wife would be the one to pick our calls or tell us he's not around..

Clearly, the wife didn't like my mum at all.. and I know my mum, she wanted the best for her son that's all and she made findings about the lady before she moved in with him., So my mum had her reasons to reject her.

We all don't like the wife, infact my dad who's a pastor (aged) doesn't like her, she couldn't even visit my Dad since the passing away of my mum since last year April.

So, If not that the wife was a bad woman.. Even if your husband is going through shits, you're the closest to him and you would have called on his family, when they took him to hospital for the blood stuff, we paid the money as siblings that was when she called.

If you make it apparent you don't like someone, you should expect the same in return. One of the reasons people advice not to meander in people's relationship because most often than not, they unite against you.

She doesn't owe you any information about their family except they agree to disclose it. Unfortunately, your brother is no more thus, there is no way to find out the truth because whatever she says now will have to be accepted as the truth.

If you people never gave a 💯 support of their marriage, it is enough for the couple to steer clear from the family. Telling you guys about the situation becomes difficult because he might have said something earlier that you guys all blamed the woman.

Lastly, is she a bad person? May be. Could she have learned to steer clear of your family because of her perception? May be. Whatever it is, the best you can do if you love your brother is to find a way to integrate her into the family for the sake of the children. Don't go creating enemies abeg. Put the entire situation to God in prayer with an open mind and He sure will guide you. Life is sweeter than carrying burdens not meant for you.

If a husband's illness is beyond werewere, it is the duty of a good wife to cry to her in-laws that her husband is sick and he is not improving/ taking his medications etc. Ditto a good husband.

As a number of posters have said, there are some 'fight' you leave for God, He is the just judge; if your SIL is guilty of anything, she would receive her recompense.

If autopsy reveals nothing, move on and provide the necessary support to your brother's children.

Ire o!

Oyindidi:
Allow the woman to mourn her husband in peace abeg, you say your brother no near una, why you want pour your frustrations on her?
No disturb her with una family wahala

If na you how you go feel?Talk true.