You have a good father. Please let her do it.

He get wetin an elderly man see why sitting him pikin no go see am lae lae while standing.

It is very important, if the lady is not willing to do the test, free her without looking back.

Thanks you father repeatedly while holding his legs say daddy, thank you for loving me.

Mr man it is for your own good and for too

beekind:

Guy please don't address my dad like that.

Shebi na you carry matta cum make we EElu p iron 🧇 it you Neva c anything dey play⏯️▶️

1Sharon:


He is not giving mere advice. He's giving ultimatums. Not the same.

if you like call it ultimatum or advice.you ll one day remember what he said.it is wise to look into a father's advice sorry you called it ultimatums.

beekind:

Let me explain, he says he is not forcing her but if she does not take the fertility test he will not attend the wedding, and he is very likely to prohibit my mom from also attending the wedding and maybe other family members too.

That puts me in a very difficult spot, very difficult spot.

Tell your girl to go do hers. If she makes a fuss about it then just know she prolly has done alot of abortion.
Our Nigerian girls no be like when you left naija. Alot has changed. Your Dad is fully aware of that hence his persistence in her running the test.
I won't be surprised if your future wife already got a guy that services her whenever she's Hot. But you will sha, cos you no know as e dey go for here now.

The ancestors are awake, even the devil is afraid of a womans tricks

beekind:

Guy please don't address my dad like that.

No be you cause ham

Oga make she go do ham, naso one small girl for area last week go destroyed her womb because she aborted 5 months pregnancy

yh but these tests are done normally before marriage. a certain Catholic church in PHC there will even ask for the tests result like STD. HIV & fertility test before they marry you guys. nobody wants stories that touch pls listen to your father. nawa naija girls wey dey run go abroad no dey even falling men mind chai. so many single sisters in USA and Canada

Beekind, this is quite simple. The fertility test should be added to the routine pre-wedding tests that you two would undergo. However, do not bring it up now. Advise your father to do likewise. It would seem off to bring it up on her first contact/visit with/to your parents.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

My dad used to say, “if you throw away old person words, one day you carry lantern they search for them”

It happened to a relative of mine, his dad told him so, he ignored it. 4 years now after marriage, then still dey go from one hospital to another to get pregnant.
A word is enough for the wise.
Your dad is smart from what he has seen as a medical doctor, wahala dey for girls of nowadays, them dey do shege……

beekind:

How does meeting someone physically and communicating regularly online affect the success of the marriage ?
Are you saying those who dated physically have perfect marriages and never had issues ?
Are you saying dating physically guarantees a happy marriage ?

The fact you had problem does not mean everyone will. Dating physically is no guarantee of a happy marriage neither is dating online. As long as you find the right person either physical or online doesnt matter.

Bro, did you read his comment at all?

See the best way to learn is from other people's experiences. He didn't say you should not marry her; he said slow down. And from experience I'd also advice you to slow down a little.

I've been reading your responses, and I can tell you I've been there.

Personally, I also fear for you at the "rush". However, it's your decision to make. Be ready to take whatever comes with it.

Peace.

beekind:

Standing my ground will mean my dad, mom and other members of my own family will not attend the wedding cos my dad said he will not attend the wedding if she does not do a fertility test.
No I haven't met her physically yet, we have only been dating online for 10 months now and haven't had a chance to visit Naija but I am visiting naija and will spend 4 months in naija when I visit later this month.

That's good. You can do the fertility test together in Naija to make her feel comfortable.

beekind:

Let me explain, he says he is not forcing her but if she does not take the fertility test he will not attend the wedding, and he is very likely to prohibit my mom from also attending the wedding and maybe other family members too.

That puts me in a very difficult spot, very difficult spot.

I truly don’t see anything wrong with this request and don’t understand why you are making a big deal out of it.

I am even surprise that, both of you did not consider doing this kind of test before moving to marriage and I am surprise that, your dad being a medical doctor is only asking for a fertility test?

What about blood group test? Genotype test? Rhesus factor test? STD test? HIV test?

You and this lady are living apart. Please don’t close your eyes to reality. I am positive she will want to know the results of each of the above tests from your side as well, that would say a lot about her, that she truly want to build a life with you.

Please, talk to her about the test and you guys should go ahead and do them and exchange results.

I don't think it's a problem just as intending couples do the necessary! Your daddy as a doctor will carry out the test required so you have to let her see yours and discuss it then encourage her to do same!

Which one is fertility test again?
Just test knacking wototo and confirm the results

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Dude, if your dad is telling you what to do, you darn sure ain’t ready for marriage…smh
>

I know you think that it is embarrassing asking her to do the test,but that test is so important, for someone that is free of any "cockroaches in the cupboard" she won't see it as anything. It is not wrong doing the test unless you in person can tell yourself the truth that you don't care about not having a child then you can stand against your father's suggestion but I will say that your father's suggestion is a good one but it won't be good for your father to be the one asking her to do the test. Your father is not choosing a partner for you but only asking for a test.

No I haven't met her physically yet, we have only been dating online for 10 months now and haven't had a chance to visit Naija but I am visiting naija and will spend 4 months in naija when I visit later this month.[/quote]

Truly, you no dey Nigeria. You for don do am since.

If you don't want to end up on the crusade ground seeking for the fruit of the womb on behalf of someone who knows her track. Follow your father's Instruction.

The world has gone digital and it's also a prerequisite for motherhood. You father a medical doctor would have seen more than enough in his lifetime and may be talking from experience.

A word is enough for the wise.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Whatever the Old Man is insisting, you will appreciate it year's to come

Nigerian girls have scattered their wombs with abortions after heavy hook ups, runs and what not, so it would be very hard to trust a 21st century Nigerian girl

You have to follow the instructions of the wise Old Man, he sees what you don't. Am sure back when you were in Nigeria, you should know what the average Nigerian girl is capable of

I don't see any reason why you should even question the instructions of your Father (by creating this thread)

Am not saying your fiancee is bad, am saying Nigerian girls can never be trusted, forgive the Old Man if he feels same

👍

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

your dad is protecting you. I just hope she is godly. because our girls hear America omo pretending done start. If she dey fake am she go show you shege when she get there. SIGN PREUP

Juliearth:

Beekind, this is quite simple. The fertility test should be added to the routine pre-wedding tests that you two would undergo. However, do not bring it up now. Advise your father to do likewise. It would seem off to bring it up on her first contact/visit with/to your parents.

Nothing like anything Off

My wife was even the one who insisted we do fertility, genotype, blood group etc, even though I have them in mind

Only a woman with dirty cupboards would be put Off by such kind of suggestion

zrocky:
your dad is protecting you. I just hope she is godly. because our girls hear America omo pretending done start. If she dey fake am she go show you shege when she get there. SIGN PREUP

Another Life saving advise, better still, you can Hakimi the situation infact that is the best

@beekind

It's a simple thing ,do the test and don't complicate matters for yourself besides I would advice you to keep the marriage plan aside and get to know this girl in person I mean offline before the marriage plans. But then you don't live in Nigeria, though I will advice to check this girl out well before committing your life to her in marriage .As for the test I see no big deal in it do it so your dad can be happy .

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

What your dad asked is not outrageous. Communicate with her that there are tests both of you need to do. Send her the ones you have done for assurance and ask her to do and send to you too my you don't have to tell her your dad asked for it.

Lol, I don’t want to believe you’re 38yrs old if not you wouldn’t bring this question to social media, without being told don’t you know you’re suppose to do a fertility test in your spouse before marrying her. At your big age your dad is still advising you on what to do.
And you’re saying you’re scared to tell your girlfriend to do the test, so you can’t talk to your babe to something as important as this. You must not be ready for marriage

oz4real83:
Your parents' demand is even good, unlike my late dad that instructed that year that any babe I wanted to marry must get pregnant for me first before any ceremony

You dad is right, pregnancy is actually the best fertility test in a woman. A consultant once asked this question in his clinic few years ago and the answer just came to me.

You want to marry someone you met online, who lives in PH and whom you are yet to date physically.

I know it's a new age and all that, but if you know how immoral young people are these days, you no go try am.

The tests that should be carried out should not only be fertility tests, but also, mental, spiritual, hook-up, all medical tests, possible abortions, and body count test!

You dey here dey argue about only fertility tests.

Please be wise my brother and obey your Father. Obedience is better than sacrifice!

PoliteActivist:


That's why it's a question. Can you read?

Your questions are useless

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

I will give you two important advice.

1. Do a serious background check on your fiancé. Go to residential place and ask questions about her and her family because he get why, especially this one y’all met through Facebook. A Warri girl for that matter.


2. Not only do fertility test, also do womb checking because 50% of Warri girls have no womb. This one even lives in Ph. Another bad city


Bro just do a thorough check on that girl you wan marry o! For real. Warri girls sabi fvck anyhow. They are extremely cheap and if the said fiancé is from a poor home. Man you don enter be that. You hardly see a Warri girl who is beautiful, from a poor home and isn’t a sex addict who fvck easily. Just do your research on her thoroughly ooo. I am not trying to discourage you but only making sure you aren’t falling for one of them condemn girls here in Warri because them too plenty.

Depriest2020:
My brother as a medical doctor your dad is, he has seen a lot which you could never know. I know of a girl who uses potash for abotion, whenever she's pregnant she inserts it into her vagina, it will heat up the futoes till it falls out from her womb. How did we know? She fainted one day, her madam took her to the hospital, she was treated of malaria & typhoid thinking that was the case.

After some weeks she began to develop some strange body odour which was very offensive, her madam kept asking her till she opened up to her what she did, her madam rushed her back to hospital, after examining her, it was discovered that the recent one she did, the futoes didn't fall-out all, it began to decay in her womb, that was the cause of the smell. It's like they flushed her womb abi stomach & treated her before the smell stopped. Her friends taught her to use potash.

Please there's no Godly girl in Nigeria take note. The girl you are chatting on Facebook might be the same girl I just discussed about. Be greatful to your dad for insisting on fertility test. There's no big deal in fertility test, HIV, UTI, STD, STI. Anyone that makes a mole out of it has something to hide.

My neighbor has been married for over 20yrs now no child and she doesn't want her husband to marry another woman, her female friend from same town as her, told me she got pregnant while they were in junior secondary school, out of shame and not wanting her parents to know, she went to quack nurse that has a chemist shop to do the abortion where her womb got damaged, today her husband is not aware of her little secret, they've been praying and waiting on God. So dear be greatful to your Dad. No one should marry this days without fertility test.

God bless you my friend, you just said it all. Pls don't just tell her to do the test . Take her to the lab in fact recommended by your dad based on his experience and profession. So that the girl will not connive with any fake Lab scientist to forge result. I know of people who are married for years without any issue. Don't just go ahead to marry her because she is beautiful- beauty fades.