beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Wise father.

Do as he said.

PoliteActivist:
How e take consign your papa? Suppose you or she no want children nko? Na by force?

it's seems u are one of this IPOB terrorist and one of the Obi supporters that wake his Papa with kicks on bed . If not u won't just insult the gentle man father that way, hope u see his replied to ur comments. Ur tribe laxk respect to ur parents unlike other tribes who respect their parent s alot. Animal.

Gadafii:
Tell her you want her to do series of test in preparation for getting married, don't mention only fertility test

Btw I thought people are meant to go for medical tests to check for compatibility before getting married, why is it now hard for 38 yo man to ask his 25 to old fiancee to go for test, are you beclouded by beauty that you can't ask her to do what is right or is it because your dad asked

Lol. How many couples do you know who did fertility tests before marriage? Jusk asking

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

you should be thankful to that man, your dad... He said what you were too shy to say.. Girls Promiscuousity these days demand this..

beekind:

Guy please don't address my dad like that.

na so Dem choke everywhere here.No respect for anyone.

beekind:

Let me explain, he says he is not forcing her but if she does not take the fertility test he will not attend the wedding, and he is very likely to prohibit my mom from also attending the wedding and maybe other family members too.

That puts me in a very difficult spot, very difficult spot.

Your dad is wise.

Let the lady do the tests.

It is obvious that you are soft and your father only wants what is best for you.

Beware of women. They tend to portray what they aren't.

Follow your dad's advise

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Before person marry una no go do test?
Carry her go to all those blood group,etc and from their do the fertility test.
Ur pupsi know say naija girls eyes no good.
Old man no wn hear story.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

These are pre- Marriage plans.
You are lucky you Dad is in the health line to handle this for you.

Allow him be..NEVER underrate his Instructions, they are guide to life.

Follow it and make corrections where it is necessary.

As a doctor, what if your dad had seen this lady before in a certain unusual place? My guy, don't ask too many questions. Just do as he says.
By the way, are you the only son though?

[/color]u are a liar[color=#770077] >

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Bros, you father has a point. He knows how some naija ladies have used themselves to the extent many might be infertile. Considering your age and the future of his generations, he does not want to hear story, neither does he want you to be unhappy.
My suggestion, come to naija and sample the product (facebook chat or picture de lie ohh, with all the filters). If in you like it and it matches you expectations, there is no way in 1 month you cannot do a health check including pregnancy test, then impregnate her, and the do a DNA test after few months of belle.
On the alternative, make arrangements with a naija hospital to do genotype and normal tests, but you would have made coded plans for them to do the secret tests you require.

Be like say this op never know wetin young girls dey do for uniport/ust.

Go to fertlility clinics and see how many young girls are selling their eggs for a paltry sum of 120k.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

I’m a girl and I don’t see anything wrong with your dad’s request . I don’t see anything wrong in taking the test except she has something to hide

out of 100% born again Nigeria ladies 50% have done abortion, 65% will still do


Mr America Citizen listen to your parents

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

It's not much of an issue. Use your discretion to talk to your woman and run the test.

I believe you trust your parents.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

If your dad still has such a say in your life decisions, then im afraid you shouldn't be marrying yet. Wait till you're all grown up

You only need to apply wisdom in accepting your father wishes, just tell your fiancé without mentioning the name of your father, by saying babe

I think it will be good for both of you to go for fertility test, you'll subjected your self along, in order not to look as if it's only her going for the test,

because that'll pass message of inequality of treatment, Once you mention both of you going for the test respectively in order to avoid the

challenges of bareness in case if there is any issue due to many couple suffering from it now. She'll gladly or reluctantly reason and agree with you. That's power of wisdom and diplomacy. Good luck.

U dey US, dey date a Delta girl wey come dey live in Ph. Bruh, sorry for you.

If you like don't listen to your father. Na premium tears

beekind:

Let me explain, he says he is not forcing her but if she does not take the fertility test he will not attend the wedding, and he is very likely to prohibit my mom from also attending the wedding and maybe other family members too.

That puts me in a very difficult spot, very difficult spot.

when I was 31 years old , I was planning to get married, then I was ignorant because I never knew there's a test for fertility. So I told my fiancee to do the normal test like HIV, genotype, health and all that and we both did. She sent it on WhatsApp then I sent mine cos she was in Abuja then I'm in Lagos..
So there's no big deal telling your woman you want to settle down with be to go for a genotype or HIV or fertility test. Or You can use soft words to tell her to include fertility test too..
She will definitely go for all the tests you requested from her cos that's the key way for her to also become a citizen there..I mean through you . So don't let what your dad requested from you as a big deal, it's for your own good..
I know a friend who cohabit with a lady for five years to seven years without issues now the guy is with another woman who gave birth to a bouncing baby girl..
So my bro, it's for your own good..

What's hard in she doing fertility test or what's hard for you to ask her doing that?

You have anything or she has anything to hide?

beekind:

Standing my ground will mean my dad, mom and other members of my own family will not attend the wedding cos my dad said he will not attend the wedding if she does not do a fertility test.
No I haven't met her physically yet, we have only been dating online for 10 months now and haven't had a chance to visit Naija but I am visiting naija and will spend 4 months in naija when I visit later this month.

"Even your boo get a boo". I can guarantee you 3 things:

1) A guy or some guys are doing the good work on your illusive fiancee whom you haven't met.

2) It'll end in tears because you absolutely know nothing about her and her past and her possible reactions to female freedom US offers.

3) If you go against your father's wish, your marriage crumbles at the very moment it started. Therefore, failure.


You don't even know the sexual orientation of the girl, her characters, her people etc. Don't tell me for the past 10months she's a fallow land. Before she started "online dating you", who was there before? Or you just swallow whatever she spills?

Life dey sha oh. I can never try a distance relationship, not to talk of online where for 10months I won't see my woman.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

Your Dad's request and point of view is very correct. It's a normal routine test for intending couples. What is happening these days also validates your Dad's request. Was it not in your same Port Harcourt that a so called 'lady' who was a choir member of a church died in an accident and was discovered to be a man?

Swallow your pride and obey your parents. What an elder will see clearly while sitting, a child standing on a tall iroko tree may not see it.

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

It’s a good advice, if you both are serious about kids. STD and Fertility test is a must. Even mental check up since it’s long distance relationship. Your father knows how girls are moving these days and wants you to be cautious. Youngsters both male and female are sexually reckless. Listen to your father. If she also wants what you want, it’s not a big deal. You can also send your results to her to reassure her.

stancod:
It’s a good advice, if you both are serious about kids. STD and Fertility test is a must. Even mental check up since it’s long distance relationship. Your father knows how girls are moving these days and wants you to be cautious. Youngsters both male and female are sexually reckless. Listen to your father. If she also wants what you want, it’s not a big deal. You can also send your results to her to reassure her.

Best advice...and spiritual check up also

beekind:
I am a 38 year old Nigerian American citizen dating a 26 year old Nigeria girl.
I grew up in Nigeria but travelled out to the USA when I was 25 years old, I am a citizen now and doing really well for myself.
I met a beautiful and godly Nigerian girl on facebook and we have been dating for some months now we are now thinking of marriage, she is in Nigeria while I am in the USA.

Some weeks ago my dad asked me to do some tests and send to him, (He is a medical doctor), I did them, turns out to be fertility tests and all was perfect.
I just told him about my fiance and my plans to get married in some months time and he said she has to do fertility test before he can agree to the marriage.

This was very shocking for me as he insisted that it is his position, I haven't told my fiance cos I dont know how to and my fiance is scheduled to pay my parents a visit for the first time in Port Harcourt in 2 weeks time.
My fiance is from Delta but lives in Portharcout as my parents while we are from Port harcourt.

My dad has said if I cannot tell her that he will, what do you guys think ?

Honest advise please and admin kindly push to front page for wider advise.

Thanks.

take your father's advice.when I was a boy I would never infact I would always take the opposite of my father's advice.but wen I started growing more I always stick to his advice yes it's always difficult and he doesn't need to explain to me.a man ll also see what another man saw.he might have seen something which u are about to see.

Exodus15v11:
Control him as a means to what end? This isn't about control, but care [as a Physician, he knows all about this]. Besides, the only "ultimatum" I see is him saying if the son doesn't tell her, he will, and I see no big deal with that, more so because his intentions are pure. He's simply trying to ward off any potential problems for both the son and the fiancée [she, too, will benefit from knowing the results of the tests or any areas of concern, if any, beforehand], AND for their potential offsprings. A lot of Indian parents with their culture of arranged marriages [which have lower divorce rates than their non-arranged counterparts like OP's] do a lot more than this. Compared to them, a Physician Father asking his son and wife-to-be to do pre-marital medical tests is nothing to complain about. His concern is for their own good and not his.

What do you mean control as a means to what end? It's right up there that he gave an ultimatum. And you're explaining and saying a whole lot without saying anything.


I'm sure if you found out your father in law requested you to do fertility tests or no wedding you'd feel some kind of way.

Even men that request their fiancess to get pregnant before marriage already feel some way. Abegii

ford101:
take your father's advice.when I was a boy I would never infact I would always take the opposite of my father's advice.but wen I started growing more I always stick to his advice yes it's always difficult and he doesn't need to explain to me.a man ll also see what another man saw.he might have seen something which u are about to see.

He is not giving mere advice. He's giving ultimatums. Not the same.

It better you let her do the fertility test so as to avoid stories that touch the heart,Also try and meet with her one on one before you send her to your parents,many married women also seek for maga on Facebook,beware so that they won't scam you or your parents.

fertility test is very important

beekind:

The major reason why many of us abroad come back home to marry is that, majority of ladies abroad are old, some of us prefer younger women.
With that advanced age comes a lot of baggage, also you find cultural compatibility is also a huge part of marriage.

This is the reason why Indians and middle easterners abroad have the lowest divorce rate, marriage is deeper than just attraction for a marriage to stand the test of time, its advisable to marry someone with similar cultural values.

I have a few friends who have married here abroad but majority still go back to naija to marry just like me, I guess it all depends on how we see things.

Lol... To each his own.

What affects son concerns a responsible father. Many of these loose girls have fertility issues which could open the family up to exploitation by business-oriented pastors, sheiks and other blackmailers.

PoliteActivist:
How e take consign your papa? Suppose you or she no want children nko? Na by force?

beekind:
Thanks everyone for your words of advise, I decide I will inform her albeit diplomatically rather than let my dad do it.
That means it will have to wait till I arrive naija later this month.
We'd both be doing another round of tests together, I won't tell her I did it already to prevent her feeling like this was planned.

Will try to make it as spontaneous as possible and also sound like its standard procedure, just like people have suggested.

Thanks all.

Ah... Nicely put.

All the best.