DrDunamis:


Very rude and disrespectful fellow. How could you speak to your mother in law in such a manner? If you were bother by the amount of her visits, why didn't you speak to your wife to subtly let her mum know?
Na wa ooh
The rate and level of dishonour is just too alarming

He now came to Nairaland (the HQ of angry, bitter and poorly raised men) for validation.

Oya, take clap.

👏👏

Romanoff:


If it was his mother, will he talk to her like that?
I feel sorry for the woman that married a poorly raised sycophant like him.

A simple talk with his wife would have fixed it. "Honey, don't you think your mum visits us too often, seeing that we are newly weds? I think you should talk to her so she can reduce her visits"

If that approach doesn't work, talk to FIL.

But no, he decided to disrespect his MIL like a child raised from the gutter.

If his wife puts the bed, isn't it her mother that will still come for Omugwo?

The geh sef no get sense, you talk to my mother like that, I'll wait for your own mother for front. Let all of us kuku be mannerless and uncultured.

i said it earlier to someone, lets say thats how he talks to his mother aka direct talk then what?

Does the way he talks to his mother changes the mother in law coming everyday ? NO



telling someone my thought of their actions is not being rude or disrespecting Nope problem is that again culture and tradition has groomed us to accept bullshit from elder without considering how whoever is view as young or son/daughter in law feels and this has been passed on generation to generation

those talking of omugwo, its culture and tradition i respect that but also you can do it without her if you want unfortunately for most we cant think outside the box becoz were groomed not think outside the box

Hence we see thoughts and view of such people are undermined and the undermined cant wait until they get to thats position where they abuse the position of being an elder etc

What is wrong in telling an elder that whatever their doing is not good for you ? In
this case the mother in law was asked to reduce her daily visits Not as most people are rushing to conclude to say she has been asked not come anymore

Then those who are saying, its her only daughter etc and so, mother in law should be chilling with her agemates

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

You truly said that? Omo, that's nonsense, the fact that you are regarding an elder doesn't ring a bell to you, it is even your wife's mom. You deserve to be lashed with koboko in accordance with saria.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

I really don't know why some person have unnecessary fear or hatred for inlaws. Why did you get married to thier daughter or son if you can accept them.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

You have your reasons but your approach is wrong. Very rude! There are better ways of handling this. She must be very miserable now. Pity.

If it was your wife that did this to your mum, would you have accepted it in good faith?

Honestly, you need to learn how to deal with elders when you feel offended.

JustPowerApps:


You truly said that? Omo, that's nonsense, the fact that you are regarding an elder doesn't ring a bell to you, it is even your wife's mom. You deserve to be lashed with koboko in accordance with saria.

I swear, this boy stupid Gan ni.

How much did you pay that you would want to stop a mother from visiting her daughter? Story! Well her daughter allowed that. quote author=thesilentman post=123197272]Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.[/quote]

MrBrownJay1:


the above is irrelevant....as a parent, you wll let go when you know/feel/believe your child is in good hands... until then, you will often check up on them. its completely natural, whether that child or their partneir agrees with it or not. thats what parents are meant to do.

rubbish how do some of you come to this? Marriage is for two and no bloody interference in between. Baba no like the mama frequent coming to the house no mean say him bad be let’s be.

Jovialjune1:



Why are you nice with your advice to the stupid Op, he obviously came here to gloat on his little achievement, he is an alpha mail according to some fools here, see some of them above still edging him on making him feel like King Kong Lmao 🤣

When I say the percentage of immature goats getting married these days is extremely high, its the gospel truth.

Been reading your comments since.. Easy on the guy abeg na... You are taking it too personal... He asked if he over did ... Talk normal and leave na or are you the mother inlaw

I hope say if your wife ambush your mama like that, you no go craze.

one day, we will get older, and might even be incapable, hope that people understand.


You could have tried multiple conversations with her and later her and her daughter first,

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

You're the greatest fool, you should have seek advice before your action not after your action.

This thing must have been disturbing you before you said it out but the first thing is to discuss it with your wife to caution her mom. But I love my inlaw to always be around me.

MrBrownJay1:


many parents who also "waited" are now mourning their dead children, thanks to abusive husband etc.... you dont need no invitation to come check up on your married child, and if you aint secure that she is ok in her new marriage, go there as often as you need.

You don't visit your married daughter everyday, it is crazy. If you are that paranoid then don't ever marry her out to anyone. Keep her in the safety of you house where no husband will ever kill her!

thesilentman:

exactly and that's what i wanted to avoid.The woman loyal but her mum...be like say she get agenda.

If I were you I would've relocated

jaeyking:


So when the woman was married was that how her husband's mother always came to check up on him

Learn to let go when your children are married, if your daughter is alone you could come

But when the husband is around try to give them privacy
Do you know how they express their love or bleeping

And how would you know this?

Just imagine the animals some women are living with under the guise of marriage.


Op, I pray you grow old and then your inlaws rudely send you away from visiting your kids so you can feel the pain of spending your whole life raising your kids and then being rudely separated from them by a mannerless brat.

The same men supporting him would castigate a woman that does not want her mother in law to visit but you fools think anything goes when your wives are involved.
Because women no be human beings naa, so just do anything you like to them and their families.
Rubbish.

Oga poster you just disrespected your poor mother inlaw because she's not handy. If she was wealthy and influential, I don't think you'd have the balls to shun her from your home the way you did.

Chai... This is indeed a message to all mothers/ fathers. Build your castle, make hay while the sun shines so that one son in-law/ daughter in-law will not see you as thrash in your old age.

Anybody tell my mom that shit, we die there.

RhodaNelly:
Oga poster you just disrespected your poor mother inlaw because she's not handy. If she was wealthy and influential, I don't think you'd have the balls to shun her from your home the way you did.

Chai... This is indeed a message to all mothers/ fathers. Build your castle, make hay while the son shines so that one son in-law/ daughter in-law will not see you as thrash in your old age.

Anybody tell my mom that shit, we die there.

If na me, I would leave his house for him. How can you send my mother away so rudely? If she didn't put in effort to train me properly you would not have liked me enough to marry me so don't assume that I will put you first before her because I married you.

It's just so sad.

CHoccolaTE:


If na me, I would leave his house for him. How can you send my mother away so rudely? If she didn't put in effort to train me properly you would not have liked me enough to marry me so don't assume that I will put you first before her because I married you.

eben97:
don't mind that weak soul, how do you go such low with insults on a public forum ??some of us no get sense of decorum both at private and public at all.By Thier fruits we shall identify them.Tje woman is not even your mother and if she is sef, she is over staying her boundaries…she's not showing some restraint in her daughters new home .She is supposed to be very mature about that.No be village marriage o!.Bros sef ought to have relocated out of that territory sefe if the marriage setting is a village to village or intercommunal joining together !!

You are calling someone a weak soul but you don't mind speaking ill of OP's MIL. And the OP exclaiming "that's harsh" did not know that his so-called outburst/insult meted out on the poor woman was harsh.

ZIMDRILL:


you are missing the point the fact that the guy noticed the regular visits and talked to her it means to him that he is not happy, simple

so yes mother in law is stopping him to enjoy his wife

And he wasn't trained well enough to know the best way to address such an issue? He couldn't make light of it and laugh it off while passing the same message to his MIL?

He has definitely put his mum into trouble - that's if she's still alive though. If she is, he'd better involve her in the reconciliation process.

Jovialjune1:



Use your brain and understand

Op does not have the right to talk to his mother in law like that, you do not get to be condescending to a woman that gave birth to your wife, because you would not like it if your wife talk to your own mother like that.

You wouldn't know if he talks to his mum that same way. He sounds like one of those stupid boys turned men who just had to get married because of age.

PROPEACE:
You don't visit your married daughter everyday, it is crazy. If you are that paranoid then don't ever marry her out to anyone. Keep her in the safety of you house where no husband will ever kill her!

vikstandon:
Is your mother a Nanny, unless I employed your mother as a Nanny... That's when I expect her to come everyday.
If that's not the case, she has no business frequenting my house.
The only reason why I would understand and even try as much as possible to bear with her, is if my wife is her only child and the husband is late.
I could understand her loneliness... But we must get her a helper or companion.

again, i dont see why you would have a problem if your wife spent all her daytime with her mother rather than being alone by herself at home or at the market (while you are not around anyway)?! where is the issue?!?! explain the above to me as if i was a 5yr old...
WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF/WHEN YOUR WIFE SPENDS TIME WITH HER MOTHER (WHEN YOU ARE AT WORK)?!?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE AFRAID OF?!?!?!?!?!

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

You're really immature and disrespectful.
Why not ask your wife to caution her?
It shows you had a bad upbringing.
It's a seed you sowed.
You will surely reap it.
Unless, of course you repent and seek her forgiveness.
You will have sons/daughters-in-laws too.
Expect something worse from them to you.
You need to be born again.
Your action and words to your wife's mom shows you are not a Christian.

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

Is this a joke!
Checking on her everyday or every other day?
That's intrusion, so what if she is not living closer? Though I do not support the way the guy said those words but she needs to be told the truth.

MrBrownJay1:


bro as a father, i completely understand why a person would do that.... they may not trust that their daughter is safe with/around you.

just make sure that they see/feel/believe that its all good at your home and that their daughter is safe.

Why giving out your daughter to a man you can not trust or guarantee the safety of your daughter? That is irresponsibility, so what was her reason for approving the union in the first place?

MrBrownJay1:



again, i dont see why you would have a problem if your wife spent all her daytime with her mother rather than being alone by herself at home or at the market (while you are not around anyway)?! where is the issue?!?! explain the above to me as if i was a 5yr old...
WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF/WHEN YOUR WIFE SPENDS TIME WITH HER MOTHER (WHEN YOU ARE AT WORK)?!?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE AFRAID OF?!?!?!?!?!

Both such a wife and her mother are crazy, they should fuçking make friends! It is only children that don't understand that sometimes you need to move on. When you daughters get married, bloody leave them alone and stop being a nuisance. I literally beg my mother and mother inlaw to come visit us. They seldom come though we keep in touch. When people are married, let them stay by themselves.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

I understand how you feel for the constant visit but truth be told you overreacted, would you be happy if such words are said to you or your mum?
Pls call and apologize and explain yourself in an orderly manner, but believe me your message had been passed and well understood.

MrBrownJay1:



again, i dont see why you would have a problem if your wife spent all her daytime with her mother rather than being alone by herself at home or at the market (while you are not around anyway)?! where is the issue?!?! explain the above to me as if i was a 5yr old...
WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IF/WHEN YOUR WIFE SPENDS TIME WITH HER MOTHER (WHEN YOU ARE AT WORK)?!?!?!?!?! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE AFRAID OF?!?!?!?!?!

Tell me I am married into a jobless people's home. If all they do is sit a home.

PROPEACE:
Both such a wife and her mother are crazy, they should fuçking make friends! It is only children that don't understand that sometimes you need to move on. When you daughters get married, bloody leave them alone and stop being a nuisance. I literally beg my mother and mother inlaw to come visit us. They seldom come though we keep in touch. When people are married, let them stay by themselves.

Skyview01:
Did she raise, clothe and shelter the man too.
That house belongs to both the husband and the wife.
I will never live in close proximity with mu in-laws to encourage regular visit.
Na tojubole most of em be.
The dude did nothing wrong by setting boundaries in his home.
The man must have been showing signs of discomfort about the mil's vists which the wife overlooked.
If the wife had observed the mood around the home and cautioned the MIL in the first place, situations wouldn't have escalated.
Imagine my mil wants to sit and talk with my wife for more than 6 hours non stop after the talk, we would go to bed and she would still come knock bedroom door around 11pm.
She will never have access to my home again.

so let me understand what you are saying:" a mother who lives next door to her daughter AND who visits her daughter who is alone during the day (or go to market with her) IS A NUISANCE TO YOU and/or is a nuisance to your marriage?!?!?!? how exactly? you are not even there? so mother being in contact with her daughter everyday, since they live close by, is wrong in your world i guess?!?!

are you claiming that you would rather your wife be home by herself than spending the day going to the market etc with her mother?!!?!? may i ask: how old are you again?

MrBrownJay1:









i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!






as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

She wants to check if the guy is a good husband?
Assuming they are thousand of miles apart immediately after the wedding she will be going there daily too?
Pls stop the joke, and like I said earlier, you don't give out your daughter to a man you are not sire if your daughter's safety.

NB. I said it to the OP himself, even though he was understandably upset yet his words were too harsh, should the words were said to him or his momma will he find it amusing?