MrBrownJay1:


my job as a parent is to make sure that my child is safe/comfortable at all times....but hey, if after 20yrs of raising your child, you will abandon her with a total stranger, without making sure that she is ok in her new married life, then so be. to each their own.

1 abandon ? you are crazy then why did you allow her to marry that person ?

2 if you feel that you need to check on her everyday it means you didnt teach well in picking the right partner for herself

Jovialjune1:



Why are you nice with your advice to the stupid Op, he obviously came here to gloat on his little achievement, he is an alpha mail according to some fools here, see some of them above still edging him on making him feel like King Kong Lmao 🤣

When I say the percentage of immature goats getting married these days is extremely high, its the gospel truth.

see, life is not WHITE/black....... RIGHT or WRONG.... there are grey areas.... we need to focus on that.

I had to be kind because I HAVE BEEN IN HIS SHOES BEFORE.... I know it is not easy.

You can profer solutions for him and be kind in your words, we are in a fallen world with broken people who need to air themselves....

I never called him an alpha male.... because ALPHA MALES UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES A WHOLE LOT OF INTERNAL VIOLENCE TO BE GENTLE AND KIND ...... its well.


we will heal someday, we will all be better for all the scars life has given us.

MrBrownJay1:


my job as a parent is to make sure that my child is safe/comfortable at all times....but hey, if after 20yrs of raising your child, you will abandon her with a total stranger, without making sure that she is ok in her new married life, then so be. to each their own.

Just ensure you tell your prospective son-in-law that you will be visiting them everyday after their wedding and see which one will stay. A man who is responsible and provides for his home won't tolerate intrusion, so your daughter may have to settle with a riff raff who won't have any say on his home.

superCleanworks:


You are very good at comedy. Very talented.
No need for your gibberish comment. my mother? her visit don't come easy or cheap. what is the cost? You would know if you had a queen mother in your family.

You clearly have difficulties in basic understanding, what has my comment got to do with if your mother's visit is easy or cheap? Even if she treks from her house to yours, why do you think I care? Again, what has being easy or cheap got to do with being a Queen mother? Your mother na ant? All this small minded people with below par membrane trying to form class when they are society dregs sef, hope all is well with you?

My point is, hope the nonsense gibberish you typed in your previous comment is seen as right when your wife says same thing to your mother, simple.

thesilentman:
...

The next time you want to complain, complain with sense and respect, not the way you talked to her, she is not your mate.

Jovialjune1:



The next time you want to complain, complain with sense and respect, not the way you talked to her, she is not your mate.

like i was so irate after umpteens of subtle hints expressing my displeasure...

Jovialjune1:

what has being easy or cheap got to do with being a Queen mother? Your mother na ant?

the only queen mother you know in your life is an ant? hahahaha. so much for your WIDE RANGE understanding. enjoy your life.

And the wife sat there watching
Op is tactless and struggles with being assertive so had to resort to being insultive as a way to show he is a man, lol. Then ran to NL for validation from people like him.
Poorly raised people everywhere.You can make a point without being a twa t but here we are.
The marriage is already doomed.
Good luck Oga and Madam

You did the right thing

thesilentman:

like i was so irate after umpteens of subtle hints expressing my displeasure...

You lack tact, you ran to nl to gloat and seek validation from those that will praise you, it and they won't help your marriage, go and apologise to your mother in law, you don't get to disrespect her like that.

MrBrownJay1:


bro as a father, i completely understand why a person would do that.... they may not trust that their daughter is safe with/around you.

just make sure that they see/feel/believe that its all good at your home and that their daughter is safe.

Bro,her action is outright abuse of my tolerant nature.When we were hundreds of miles apart she never shew up once.And Offcourse,neither daughter nor mother herself complained of abuse of any kind.

Jovialjune1:



You lack tact, you ran to nl to gloat and seek validation from those that will praise you, it and they won't help your marriage, go and apologise to your mother in law, you don't get to disrespect her like that.

I agree i lack tact but am glad my freedom is now restored.Every good thing comes at a price-hope you know.

MrBrownJay1:


as much as you are right about the above, it certainly doesnt make any difference whether her parents came over or not.... unless you are trying to make her do something wrong. why would you be against her parents coming over, if you were doing something RIGHT. its not like the parents are gonna interfere in their marriage (unless you are abusing her etc), is it?

why is it suddenly so wrong if parents came over? i dont get it... so if your parents came over, your spouse wont understand/listen to you any longer? how?

And you missed the OP'S point and frustration. He is not against his mother-in-law coming to his house to see her daughter but the rate at which she is coming (frequency).

I am sad reading comments here.. so unintelligent but filled with emotions and Biase ( no deep thoughts)..
Read this your comment I just replied then go back to the main thread and read it again.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

I do not blame the people insulting you and throwing emotions everywhere without properly understanding your frustration. I blame you for bringing a thread like this to a forum filled with kids. When I say kids, I mean adult kids..

You have done the needful, the dust will settle. Give your mother in law the respect she deserves always and love your wife because she is your flesh and blood.

Guy! move on.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

how do u people even open your mouth to say some things self?

Don’t u think it through before saying it?

Just know for sure that this is the genesis of your problem n na u cause am cos u will see changes in your wife’s behavior even if she didn’t tell u what u did is wrong n if u vent anger on your wife believe she will poison your child(ren) mind towards u n whichever way it goes u will lose cos na d woman get the house n person wey u fit report her to now u don’t fight her

zeuss:
Obviously a sweet lady.... Not the quarrelsome type, or else u would not get away with that wicked talk.... She is lonely wants to be with her friend and daughter... .. Have a heart u broke hers.... U2 will grow old...... U fuked up......call her and apologize.

no apology will solve it, he has messed up n for d wife that didn’t talk she has plans

Na that type of wife go smile at u still low key give u poison

Jovialjune1:



Nice one

If reverse was the case, where by your wife does same to your mother, she is well within her rights to say the same gibberish you just spilled.

that marriage don get issue already cos the wife go do her own n na there everything go scatter n at that time there will b nobody to caution both parties cos the wife family have seen this op is not mature at all

Jovialjune1:



His wife will do it to his mother, it's always sweet when they are not at the receiving end, see all the useless guys supporting Op, they obviously grew up in a dysfunctional home.

I can bet all those guys supporting op are either less than 20 or never had a girlfriend not to talk of marriage or all these confused kids calling themselves redpiller

I can bet d op will come back here to narrate experience of hell in his marriage

He’s obviously not mature n he will have to learn d hardway

Those supporting him will not b dere to face it for him

thesilentman:

Gracias!

those supporting u now won’t face d trouble for u

U are obviously a baby in a man’s body, when u understand the implications of what u did u will regret it

Tell your mom n hear her out

Redpiller isonu

thesilentman:

I agree i lack tact but am glad my freedom is now restored.Every good thing comes at a price-hope you know.

just watch d price your will pay for how u managed to get your so called freedom

We dey here

That’s a terrible way of passing across a message.

@op are you still in honey moon, why are you always at home to notice your mother in-law daily visit don't you and wife go to work or are you a stay@home couple??

I am not trying to justify her frequent visit to your home but your manner of approach is wrong, you should have come here to seek for advice on how to stop her instead.

I doubt if your mother in-law will ever be free with you or at your place again. She will read different meaning to that

MumEmdy:
@op are you still in honey moon, why are you always at home to notice your mother in-law daily visit don't you and wife go to work or are you a stay@home couple??

I am not trying to justify her frequent visit to your home but your manner of approach is wrong, you should have come here to seek for advice on how to stop her instead.

I doubt if your mother in-law will ever be free with you or at your place again. She will read different meaning to that

good question on how he notices her frequent visits but let me put a scenario

he does a 9-5 job

so he get home around 6 and he is Hot and
wants a quicky if mother in law is around it has to be delayed to bed time, i would be pissed if mother in law is there neary everyday

Or eg she is always there every week, may be hubby wants to spend more time in bed etc

I usually advise newly married couples to stay far away from their families. If you stay the same street with your in-laws, you should expect them to visit you often unless you're not a bonafide son/daughter. So, to avoid intentional or unintentional " intrusion" into your family, please stay far away from them.

Secondly, if you're marrying an only son/daughter, expect constant calls ( even video calls ) in the early part of your marriage for obvious reasons. It does not necessarily imply an attempt to control your home. The parents could just be missing their child. I know an only son who japad mid last year. The mom cried as if the son had died.

Now, let's assume you notice a deliberate attempt to control your home, you need to approach it with wisdom. Discuss wit your partner to devise the appropriate way to inform any parent intruding into your family. Don't talk to any in-law harshly or disrespectfuly. Remember, you will also become an in-law very soon.

Finally, marriage requires tact, wisdom and maturity. It is not wise to lay a weak foundation for the future of your family.

thesilentman:

that's harsh!

What's harsh?

Isn't it the same thing you did to your MIL?

Or do you have two heads?

The poster just told you that the same measure you uses for your MIL, someone would use it for you.

And I join him/her to say amen! Amin! Ise!

NoToPile:
Zero tact, very disrespectful and insultive. just open mouth waa waa waa.

Don't you have a house
Stay were you belong
I didn't marry mother and daughter

You said these three sentences to your Mil? Seriously?

There seems to be something fundamentally wrong somewhere.

@Bold:

Just simple lack of home training.

If he has elders in his family, he would handled the issue with more tact if he was angry with the constant visits.

A child that was trained and re-trained him/herself is not hard to spot.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

When you grow old and want the company of your children, and their spouse do same, remember, you sowed the seed decades ago.

In as much as she's not influencing your marriage negatively, or disrespecting you, you could have moved or something. Why breakup the bond between Mum and her daughter? What about the wife, your wife, what is she doing about this?

Op is one hell of a rude fellow. No single home training

Octopusssy:
Op is one hell of a rude fellow

he might be

but mother in law is also bad she should know better

ZIMDRILL:


he might be

but mother in law is also bad she should know better

Be that as it may, she is an elder and the mother of his wife. Will he talk to his own mother like that? There are more tactful ways to handle intrusive in-laws

thesilentman:
Bro,her action is outright abuse of my tolerant nature.When we were hundreds of miles apart she never shew up once.And Offcourse,neither daughter nor mother herself complained of abuse of any kind.

if the above is your reason for not wanting your in law around then i am sorry to say that...its very flimsy, but as you are entitled to your own wishes in your own house, i will understand it, even though as i parent i couldnt care less about it. if/when you marry my daughter, you automatically marry into my own family, and i believe i can show up to see my pikin whenever i feel like it (so long as i dont show up at crazy late hours). i was thinking you were gonna talk about something so bad, so grave, yet the only thing you talk about is that you dont tolerate to see your in laws, bwaaaaaaaaaah!
BTW are you claiming that your mother in law cannot even come over when you are at work and daughter is home alone?!

ZIMDRILL:
1 abandon ? you are crazy then why did you allow her to marry than person ?
2 if you feel that you need to check on her everyday it means you didnt teach well in picking the right partner for herself

1) bro marriage is just a LOAN... and as much as my daughter is gonna live with her new husband, that in no way makes her no longer my daughter. is it? just because i allow them to get married, does NOT mean i have cleaned my hands on her matter. until i fully believe that she is safe and secure with that man, i will check up on her as much as needed. even if they live on the other side of the world.

2) you can never teach a new couple about the ups and downs of marriage life, they will have to learn on the go.... but i certainly do know that many yeye people (due to love) accept to be physically/emotionally abused or treated like dirt... not in my world! so until i feel safe/secure that this man will protect my daughter and take over MY position as her protector, i will continue to come over and check up on them once in a while. lets not pretend that we dont see in the news everyday married women dying at the hand of abusive husbands (and vice versa).

MY CHILDREN ARE MY LIFE INVESTMENT AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT NOTHING GOES WRONG WITH THEM UNTIL THEY CAN FLOURISH AS PROPER HUMAN BEINGS.....what parents will invest so much on their children (and their future) and then just abandon them the minute they say "i do"?! does it even make sense to you?!

Edavi234:
And you missed the OP'S point and frustration. He is not against his mother-in-law coming to his house to see her daughter but the rate at which she is coming (frequency).
I am sad reading comments here.. so unintelligent but filled with emotions and Biase ( no deep thoughts)..
Read this your comment I just replied then go back to the main thread and read it again.

pls before quoting me, read ALL my contributions on this thread so i dont have to repeat myself.

Ur case