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What I Did To My Mother-in-law - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Nobody: 8:07pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:

i swear the attachment to daughter is too much.Even at times they run house chores together.


You didn't know of the attachment before you married her? Were you daft ab initio?

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:08pm On May 17, 2023
Jovialjune1:



Nice one

If reverse was the case, where by your wife does same to your mother, she is well within her rights to say it.

lets not try to do the reverse thing lets focus on the issue at hand

was the mother in law correct? let me enjoy my wife

3 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by eben97: 8:12pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:

that's harsh!
don't mind that weak soul, how do you go such low with insults on a public forum ??some of us no get sense of decorum both at private and public at all.By Thier fruits we shall identify them.Tje woman is not even your mother and if she is sef, she is over staying her boundaries…she's not showing some restraint in her daughters new home .She is supposed to be very mature about that.No be village marriage o!.Bros sef ought to have relocated out of that territory sefe if the marriage setting is a village to village or intercommunal joining together !!

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by MrBrownJay1(m): 8:17pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:
i beg to differ
New married people should left alone to find their own feet, in doing things and understanding each other, understanding each based on their character and behaviour not based on what you were taught. Every man and woman differ it is important to understand each other not based on what parents says but based on what you see and do to each other

Have you ever noticed that the 1st of years of marriage is power struggle, the guy want wife to cook like his mother and the wife wants hubby to behave like her father hence usaully its power struggle indirect

Parents should visit once in while

as much as you are right about the above, it certainly doesnt make any difference whether her parents came over or not.... unless you are trying to make her do something wrong. why would you be against her parents coming over, if you were doing something RIGHT. its not like the parents are gonna interfere in their marriage (unless you are abusing her etc), is it?

why is it suddenly so wrong if parents came over? i dont get it... so if your parents came over, your spouse wont understand/listen to you any longer? how?

5 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Nobody: 8:18pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:


lets not try to do the reverse thing lets focus on the issue at hand

was the mother in law correct? let me enjoy my wife


Who is stopping you from enjoying your wife? We will do the reverse because you manboys don't like hearing the truth, if your wife does same you must be nice and dandy, then accept it with your full chest.

Even if the mother in law isn't correct, why will you have the guts to talk to her like that? Or didn't you see the nonsense way Op said he talked to her? What kind of disrespect is that? An old woman that can give birth to him, an old woman that can curse him and it will stand, didn't Op know the wife is attached to her mum before he married her? You people should learn to use your tongue to count your teeth.

18 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by akube34: 8:19pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.
na your wife suppose talk to am not you.

4 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by eben97: 8:22pm On May 17, 2023
Op, you didn't do well o, even if mummy sef dey over run her shows.there are more mature ways to go about this kind of sensitive matter,her daughter ought to have been in the best position to place the issue but since she chooses to be ignorant and very un elighthened about the implication of her mother's action ..Most women can have troubles with sound reasonings when it comes to matters with Thier relatives involved (only the married will be able to largely relate with this ),they tend to be much blinded with reasoning, and go the wrong way in lots of instances.Most married women are like that, Thier bias for Thier relatives can mostimes make them act a bit "foolish/weird",they didnt really mean to want things go that way, but na the individuals involved.IT IS CALLED SELFISHNESS OF LOVE !

1 Like

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:28pm On May 17, 2023
Jovialjune1:



Who is stopping you from enjoying your wife? We will do the reverse because you manboys don't like hearing the truth, if your wife does same you must be nice and dandy, then accept it with your full chest.

Even if the mother in law isn't correct, why will you have the guts to talk to her like that? Or didn't you see the nonsense way Op said he talked to her? What kind of disrespect is that? An old woman that can give birth to him, an old woman that can curse him and it will stand, didn't Op know the wife is attached to her mum before he married her? You people should learn to use your tongue to count your teeth.

you are missing the point the fact that the guy noticed the regular visits and talked to her it means to him that he is not happy, simple

so yes mother in law is stopping him to enjoy his wife

3 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:30pm On May 17, 2023
MrBrownJay1:


as much as you are right about the above, it certainly doesnt make any difference whether her parents came over or not.... unless you are trying to make her do something wrong. why would you be against her parents coming over, if you were doing something RIGHT. its not like the parents are gonna interfere in their marriage (unless you are abusing her etc), is it?

why is it suddenly so wrong if parents came over? i dont get it... so if your parents came over, your spouse wont understand/listen to you any longer? how?

remember its not about your and your exprience its about him, he has noticed regular visits and he is not happy about them

1 Like

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Nobody: 8:42pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:


you are missing the point the fact that the guy noticed the regular visits and talked to her it means to him that he is not happy, simple

so yes mother in law is stopping him to enjoy his wife


Use your brain and understand

Op does not have the right to talk to his mother in law like that, you do not get to be condescending to a woman that gave birth to your wife, because you would not like it if your wife talk to your own mother like that.

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 8:48pm On May 17, 2023
Jovialjune1:



Use your brain and understand

Op does not have the right to talk to his mother in law like that, you do not get to be condescending to a woman that gave birth to your wife, because you would not like it if your wife talk to your own mother like that.

there is nothing to use brains for here

lets notr try to protect bad behaviour irregardless how he talked to his mother in law, who should be more matured here ? the mother in law should know better to stay away from the new married

the same applies to my mom, if my mum is regular visiting me my wife will feel abit of an outsider or she being regulary monitored

mother in law should respect the marriage by letting them free

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by 1Sharon(f): 8:51pm On May 17, 2023
If it was your mother would you have said the same thing?

Afterall Nigerian men are starting to say your father and mother are your real family.

So can the same thing apply to your wife?

15 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Nobody: 9:18pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:


there is nothing to use brains for here

lets notr try to protect bad behaviour irregardless how he talked to his mother in law, who should be more matured here ? the mother in law should know better to stay away from the new married

the same applies to my mom, if my mum is regular visiting me my wife will feel abit of an outsider or she being regulary monitored

mother in law should respect the marriage by letting them free


Focus on the purpose of this thread, Op asked if the way he talked to his mother in law is right or not, he is wrong, he wouldn't like it if his wife talks to his mother like that, what the mother did or didn't do is irrelevant at this point.

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Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:22pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:
remember its not about your and your exprience its about him, he has noticed regular visits and he is not happy about them

ok lets be OPEN MINDED here and pretend we were the parents, and ask the op:
- WHATS SO WRONG IN YOUR IN LAWS VISITING? WHAT PRIVACY INFRINGEMENT ARE YOU ON ABOUT? CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT HOW IT AFFECTS YOUR UNION?!
... because i dont see/understand it.

4 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:30pm On May 17, 2023
MrBrownJay1:


ok lets be OPEN MINDED here and pretend we were the parents, and ask the op:
- WHATS SO WRONG IN YOUR IN LAWS VISITING? WHAT PRIVACY INFRINGEMENT ARE YOU ON ABOUT? CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC ABOUT HOW IT AFFECTS YOUR UNION?!
... because i dont see/understand it.

him can explain further but remember he said she visits nearly everyday


she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:36pm On May 17, 2023
Jovialjune1:



Focus on the purpose of this thread, Op asked if the way he talked to his mother in law is right or not, he is wrong, he wouldn't like it if his wife talks to his mother like that, what the mother did or didn't do is irrelevant at this point.



Look at this either way whether he talked nicely or not 99% most people would say he is wrong, like in this case most people are saying its wrong not to let in laws visit, so even he had said nicely he wouldnt win

for me most people are focusing on the wrong direct aka how the guy said it, the main issue here is the mother in law everyday visit, she should know better

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:40pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:
him can explain further but remember he said she visits nearly everyday

if i raised my child for +20yrs, fed, clothe, sheltered and educated her all this time... i think i have the right to see her even every hr if i wish to do so. if she just got married then i want to make sure that she is good in her new life. a parent visiting his child once a day is not wrong (maybe just a bit excessive), and unless the visit would hinder their r/ship, i dont see anything wrong here....thus the above question.

10 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:44pm On May 17, 2023
MrBrownJay1:


if i raised my child for +20yrs, fed, clothe, sheltered and educated her all this time... i think i have the right to see her even every hr if i wish to do so. if she just got married then i want to make sure that she is good in her new life. a parent visiting his child once a day is not wrong (maybe just a bit excessive), and unless the visit would hinder their r/ship, i dont see anything wrong here....thus the above question.

fair enough thats you

some people dont like it
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by CLATHRIN: 9:47pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

I have a feeling that this wasn't done in a perfect way but I wouldn't say your disapproval of her frequent visits is wrong either. Such life situations can be very dynamic, there might be logical reasons for one to desire privacy with his/her partner. I for one wouldn't like the idea of living in the same building with my parents as a single and adult man let alone when I am married.

Check out this thread, it might help: https://www.nairaland.com/7631920/should-allow-mother-in-law-home-need
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:54pm On May 17, 2023
ZIMDRILL:
fair enough thats you
some people dont like it

i can understand that, thus why i ask the above questions...
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by NoToPile: 9:56pm On May 17, 2023
Zero tact, very disrespectful and insultive. just open mouth waa waa waa.

Don't you have a house
Stay were you belong
I didn't marry mother and daughter

You said these three sentences to your Mil? Seriously?

There seems to be something fundamentally wrong somewhere.

21 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Stevenbright(m): 10:02pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Find a way to reach out to her. Tell her the frequency of her coming was the issue not her coming at all. That you will be fine with it if she makes it occasional as that will make a fun and enjoyable visit for all of you.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by superCleanworks(m): 10:16pm On May 17, 2023
Jovialjune1:
Nice one

If reverse was the case, where by your wife does same to your mother, she is well within her rights to say the same gibberish you just spilled.

You are very good at comedy. Very talented.
No need for your gibberish comment. my mother? her visit don't come easy or cheap. what is the cost? You would know if you had a queen mother in your family.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by Foodqueen(f): 10:25pm On May 17, 2023
This won't end well.

The clap back from your wife to your mother will be massive.

Your marriage might not survive it.

The future is pregnant

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by 234GT(m): 11:06pm On May 17, 2023
MrBrownJay1:


if i raised my child for +20yrs, fed, clothe, sheltered and educated her all this time... i think i have the right to see her even every hr if i wish to do so. if she just got married then i want to make sure that she is good in her new life. a parent visiting his child once a day is not wrong (maybe just a bit excessive), and unless the visit would hinder their r/ship, i dont see anything wrong here....thus the above question.

Then you should marry that your child and be with him forever. My baby is just 16 months old. I love him to pieces and I am always with him when I am not at work. However, I won't choke his marriage and I won't allow my wife do same. When the time comes, I have to leave him and his wife to live their life.

OP, nothing do you. Don't apologise to anyone. Your mother inlaw does not respect you in the first place. If she did, she won't choke you guys. You are doing well. She will dey her dey now.

4 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by 234GT(m): 11:07pm On May 17, 2023
Foodqueen:
This won't end well.

The clap back from your wife to your mother will be massive.

Your marriage might not survive it.

The future is pregnant

His mother may not be an intruder like his mother inlaw.
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by 234GT(m): 11:09pm On May 17, 2023
thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town,she wouldnt quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or atleast every other day.I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday i summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house.Before she could reply,i told her,'learn to stay where you belong!I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.
This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Don't do any apology. You have made your point. Na man you be. Don't give room for see finish.

2 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:17pm On May 17, 2023
234GT:
Then you should marry that your child and be with him forever. My baby is just 16 months old. I love him to pieces and I am always with him when I am not at work. However, I won't choke his marriage and I won't allow my wife do same. When the time comes, I have to leave him and his wife to live their life.

my job as a parent is to make sure that my child is safe/comfortable at all times....but hey, if after 20yrs of raising your child, you will abandon her with a total stranger, without making sure that she is ok in her new married life, then so be. to each their own.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by wunmi590(m): 11:28pm On May 17, 2023


OP, that's too far now, you shouldn't have gone to that extent, at least you should have told your wife to tell her how you feel....

I've been begging my mother inlaw to come and permanently live with us since her husband died 2years ago, and she refused, even to come spend 1week nah whahala, she's really comfortable in her house 🏠 and doesn't like putting burden on their children, just like my own parent too...

4 Likes

Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by thesilentman(m): 12:01am On May 18, 2023
234GT:


Don't do any apology. You have made your point. Na man you be. Don't give room for see finish.
Gracias!
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by thesilentman(m): 12:17am On May 18, 2023
Jovialjune1:


That still does not justify showing up uninvited and uninformed everyday.Wouldn't have complained if i didn't feel choked.

You didn't know of the attachment before you married her? Were you daft ab initio?
Re: What I Did To My Mother-in-law by thesilentman(m): 12:26am On May 18, 2023
CLATHRIN:


I have a feeling that this wasn't done in a perfect way but I wouldn't say your disapproval of her frequent visits is wrong either. Such life situations can be very dynamic, there might be logical reasons for one to desire privacy with his/her partner. I for one wouldn't like the idea of living in the same building with my parents as a single and adult man let alone when I am married.

Check out this thread, it might help: https://www.nairaland.com/7631920/should-allow-mother-in-law-home-need
thanks for the input

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