That's too harsh, her daughter might be her best friend before you married her
You should have talked to your wife instead, to caution her mother to stop her frequent visit

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

....


Just wait,a day will come when you will need her presence,then you will regret your reckless utterance..

thesilentman:

i swear the attachment to daughter is too much.Even at times they run house chores together.

...

You guys are impossible..

You forgot that this same wife of yours have liveth with her mom for decades before you got married to her?

If she had wanted to influence her wrongly she would have done that before you got married to her daughter..

You are simply insecure.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Note to self: Never allow your daughter get married to a disrespectul boy? Would you say the same to your own mom or father?
If her mom was rich and powerful - you wouldnt dare; these are some of the reasons for repugnant desperation for wealth we see today.

YOU TRY I SWEAR, MAKE SHE GIVE SPACE ABEG

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

ZIMDRILL:


i beg to differ

New married people should left alone to find their own feet, in doing things and understanding each other, understanding each based on their character and behaviour not based on what you were taught. Every man and woman differ it is important to understand each other not based on what parents says but based on what you see and do to each other

Have you ever noticed that the 1st of years of marriage is power struggle, the guy want wife to cook like his mother and the wife wants hubby to behave like her father hence usaully its power struggle indirect

Parents should visit once in while

That is not the issue here, what is wrong is the manner in which the message was passed, OK.

That's true, people should be free to be with their families. Especially healthy relationships between mother and her daughter.

MrBrownJay1:


sadly this dscussion is showing the nature of some people, that want to control everything, even what their wife should (or not) do when she is home alone during the day.... shiiit, in this day and age, i would rather my wife goes to the market in Nigeria with her mother than by her self.

Jovialjune1:


Fixed.

editing my post about you doesn't change the fact about you. My post about you is still original and safe stating that your vagina smells dangerously and I warned you not to mention me again before you kill me with your vagina smell oozing out of your post. Pls, leave me alone, I don't want your smelling vagina, hawk it somewhere else. As you edit you're using the terms that's describes you.

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Very rude and disrespectful fellow. How could you speak to your mother in law in such a manner? If you were bother by the amount of her visits, why didn't you speak to your wife to subtly let her mum know?
Na wa ooh
The rate and level of dishonour is just too alarming

Family problems

Hassanmaye:
Is she a single mum?

No but my woman is first child.

MrBrownJay1:






i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!






as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

I do not know why we sometimes think that, being passive is the right thing and way to go!

The mother's right to check on them stop at their own right to privacy. You can not put it upon yourself to check me and expect me to passively agree to it, I also have rights, I have the right to say No, or they suggest when and how such visits should occur.

This is no longer the mother's family, they gave their daughter away, from the OP comments, it appears the wife i.e. the mother's own daughter is siding with the husband and the reason she did not do it herself is because it might seem callous coming from her.

Coming on omogwu is at the discretion on the husband and the wife, how long stays is also at their discretion.

I do not see it as a disrespect, in Nigeria we have the mistaken default position that, elders are always right and we should always bow to their wishes, that is not true, the mother was in the wrong here and the husband as the head of that home had to put his feet down and say enough is enough period!

ZIMDRILL:


when say accordingly, you mean according to how she visits? are you crazy

You obviously lack reading comprehension. Idiot. You better carry this your lack of manner go face your papa

victorVIC1:


You obviously lack comprehension ability. Idiot

just answer the question accordingly to who's time, space etc

ZIMDRILL:


just answer the question accordingly to who's time, space etc

If you had also communicated decently, you obviously won't get such feedback. You get no further response from me

Have you asked her daughter, your own wife to speak with her first?

Is the woman still with her husband? Separated or the hubby is dead? It could be boredom..

Is your wife the only child, first born or only daughter hence they closeness or attachment.

These are the considerations to think about before knowing how to talk to the woman.

Your approach was too harsh, too direct and a bit disrespectful... We shall grow old one day and may find ourselves in some situations beyond us.

You could said it or passed your message in a more subtle way. The fact that you later had to apologize shows that your approach wasn't the best

Foodqueen:
This won't end well.

The clap back from your wife to your mother will be massive.

Your marriage might not survive it.

The future is pregnant

I'm the last of my momma's kids and she hardly even visit 3 times yearly while Christmas is constant, and this goes to every of her kids. Do you know why? cuz she ain't jobless. tell me why a busy woman would visit her daughter almost every week??

For my wife to yell at my mum that visit just 2/3 times yearly is the end of that union

MrBrownJay1:


so you believe it is wrong for a parent to not trust you and check up on their daughters? there is no such thing as "intrusion of your privacy".... just because you marry someone, doesnt mean you got the right to stop parents from checking on their children.

what have you got to hide? why are you so afraid of parents coming to check up on their daughters? what so wrong in the act? what privacy are you even talking about? if these parents trusted you as a man and/or the wellbeing of their daughter, probably they wouldnt check on their daughter so often.

This is nonsense. Either you didn't read what he wrote or you read with biased mind. The bolded is trash. If the parents didn't want their daughter to leave their house, they won't have married her out

linearity:


I do not know why we sometimes think that, being passive is the right thing and way to go!

The mother's right to check on them stop at their own right to privacy. You can not put it upon yourself to check me and expect me to passively agree to it, I also have rights, I have the right to say No, or they suggest when and how such visits should occur.

This is no longer the mother's family, they gave their daughter away, from the OP comments, it appears the wife i.e. the mother's own daughter is siding with the husband and the reason she did not do it herself is because it might seem callous coming from her.

Coming on omogwu is at the discretion on the husband and the wife, how long stays is also at their discretion.

I do not see it as a disrespect, in Nigeria we have the mistaken default position that, elders are always right and we should always bow to their wishes, that is not true, the mother was in the wrong here and the husband as the head of that home had to put his feet down and say enough is enough period!

i agree we pass on bad habits by default of being elders hence we keep on repeating the same mistakes generation to generatiob and now call it its our culture

Mun should have non better how guys are 1st borns or only son and does their fathers check on them all the time ?No

Most people are biased simply becoz it parent doing it and we dont see nothing wrong with it becoz culture and tradition groomed us to question elders or correct them . Hence most people will focus on the wrong thing, than
the parent doing wrong things

Bad talk.

Learn to be more civil with words.

Women dey marry idiots. People no longer have regard for elderly or the marriage institution.

You did something terribly wrong and you're in a forum where children will hail you for validation. When something goes wrong with your wife that will need the intervention of your family and hers, which mouth will you use to appeal to her family since you've decided to burn the bridge that will take you there?

It's men like you that will say "your mother comes first before your wife", it's still men like you that will bring down thunder and brimstone when your wife disrespects your mother.

One thing I've learned on life is to treat people the way you'd want to be treated.

The food wey you dey cook dey front dey wait for you.

You could have phrased it nicer.


It is usually not easy being unmarried and ones daughter cum friend is out of the house.



This generation sees no harm in being rude to older ones just because they can string words together.

victorVIC1:


If you had also communicated decently, you obviously won't get such feedback. You get no further response from me

thats were you wrong, quoting you doesnt mean i expect further respond becoz u can actually ignore me and i wont be bothered

Romanoff:
Women dey marry idiots. People no longer have regard for elderly or the marriage institution.

You did something terribly wrong and you're in a forum where children will hail you for validation. When something goes wrong with your wife that will need the intervention of your family and hers, which mouth will you use to appeal to her family since you've decided to burn the bridge that will take you there?

It's men like you that will say "your mother comes first before your wife", it's still men like you that will bring down thunder and brimstone when your wife disrespects your mother.

One thing I've learned on life is to treat people the way you'd want to be treated.

The food wey you dey cook dey front dey wait for you.

lets take your version children nolonger have regards for adults, but does adult have regards for newly married ? its a two ways system not one way

linearity:


I do not know why we sometimes think that, being passive is the right thing and way to go!

The mother's right to check on them stop at their own right to privacy. You can not put it upon yourself to check me and expect me to passively agree to it, I also have rights, I have the right to say No, or they suggest when and how such visits should occur.

This is no longer the mother's family, they gave their daughter away, from the OP comments, it appears the wife i.e. the mother's own daughter is siding with the husband and the reason she did not do it herself is because it might seem callous coming from her.

Coming on omogwu is at the discretion on the husband and the wife, how long stays is also at their discretion.

I do not see it as a disrespect, in Nigeria we have the mistaken default position that, elders are always right and we should always bow to their wishes, that is not true, the mother was in the wrong here and the husband as the head of that home had to put his feet down and say enough is enough period!

The daughter should have being the one to caution her mom not her hubby. She threw the mum and hubby under the tracks by not speaking up.


With time, the mum might have stopped visiting.

I'm sure the dad is dead or remarried.

That's why i would advise and older one to remarry or have a life partner so that in future the same kids you sacrificed for would allow their spouses insult them because she comes around too much.

MrBrownJay1:






i trust him to be my daughter's chosen one, i wont trust him to be a good husband (SIL) until they start living together and he becomes a responsible husband. just because they got married, does NOT mean this man is a good husband, a good father or a caring man. this will have to be confirmed as they start living together. many people get married to people they never knew before. you only meet your true spouse AFTER marriage, not before. but hey, if you think that ABUSIVE HUSBAND is written on people's forehead then so many unfortunate people wouldnt have died at the hands of their abusive husband/wives. lets be real!






as i said earlier.... as much as it is a bit excessive you need to open your mind.... so mama that lives close by shouldnt come and spend the day with daughter that is home alone all day (and go to market together etc)? the same mama that will probably come and stay with you for months when you guys have your 1st children (in order to show you how to properly care for a newborn) na that mama you want to look down upon today?!

Been following this up

Oga you're trying so hard to appear so correct and good and in the end sounding stupid


You want to be visiting your child always in their matrimonial home

It's like you're mad or something


Talk is cheap

ZIMDRILL:


lets take your version children nolonger have regards for adults, but does adult have regards for newly married ? its a two ways system not one way

If it was his mother, will he talk to her like that?
I feel sorry for the woman that married a poorly raised sycophant like him.

A simple talk with his wife would have fixed it. "Honey, don't you think your mum visits us too often, seeing that we are newly weds? I think you should talk to her so she can reduce her visits"

If that approach doesn't work, talk to FIL.

But no, he decided to disrespect his MIL like a child raised from the gutter.

If his wife puts the bed, isn't it her mother that will still come for Omugwo?

The geh sef no get sense, you talk to my mother like that, I'll wait for your own mother for front. Let all of us kuku be mannerless and uncultured.

thesilentman:

Haba my G you na redpiller na,you suppose understand...
It's the frequency that irritated me.

Nothing like redpiller. You should have seek for advice before taking it the way u did. Apologize but I believe she got the message

thesilentman:
Because we live in proximity-same town, she wouldn't quit checking up on her daughter virtually every day or at least every other day.

I felt a deep intrusion on my privacy so yesterday I summoned the gut and asked her if she didn't have a house. Before she could reply, I told her, 'learn to stay where you belong! I did not marry daughter and mother!`
She has since disappeared into thin air.

This evening am thinking whether i bleeped up or not.

Yes u beeped up cos there are wise ways to do everything

I won’t be surprised if op is a yahoo boy.

They are the ones with these nasty attitudes. Very stupid set of men.

You did the best thing

superCleanworks:


that woman knew EXACTLY what she was doing. if you give them a step they will want to cover the whole road. You did well to put her in her place and don't listen to anyone trying to tell you that you were harsh. All that matters is that the message has been delivered.

I agree strongly with you