What first needs to be answered is when is a ‘marriage’ no longer a marriage.

I know guys that wanted a happy physical relationship with their wife. Loved them, desired them.

BUT their wives would have none of it.

My own ex clearly stated that no one needs sex after 50. That sex is not necessary. ( note she is now my ex)

I asked her if she believed it was a right she had to control or ignore the fact that I had physical desires. She replied she definitely did. What I thought I needed was not important. The fact that she removed from our marriage what was important to me, because she believed she had a right without consulting me, is a message that a major part of our ‘marriage’ was over.

We went to counseling, and she reinforced her position. People do not have sex after 50 and there was no budging.

I did not have a sexual affair, but I will admit to opening myself up to ‘dating’ other women. Just being able to sit and have a coffee and conversation rather than my ex’s “10 words or less” if I wanted to discuss my day was needed.

WHAT most people do not understand, both men and women, is that men are much more intimacy needing than women realize and that men want to admit. Men are supposed to be ‘big tough guys’ that don’t need ‘emotional stuff’ .. Bull… We melt if a woman gently caresses our hand or our neck. We crave that kind of affection.

Many men that ‘cheat’ do not want to leave their wives, they want to feel desired and cared about preferably with their wives, but when that is not possible, they are easy targets for any woman that will provide, even if for only a few moments.

AND understand, it is not always about inserting TAB A into SLOT B, it is about intimacy, compassion and yes, indeed passion.

I expect back lash from this answer. Most women will speak out, because they want to believe that their husband is supposed to tow the line and ignore what he needs, and disregard that it is probably them he desires.

This may be considered totally sexist… but most men desire their wives, but those wives do not express that they desire their husbands.

If love and desire and intimacy has been taken away, is there still a marriage?

MrBrownJay1:
you need to understand "some" men before remotely trying to solve this issue:

- some yeye people out there desperately got married to yeye donkeys they dont desire, but they need to stay married to fit with the Joneses... and pretend to be happily married (wile they are in fact sexually miserable). cheating solve their sexual problem.
- some married men have NO RESPECT for their wife and see no problem in cheating on her.
- some married men would rather go and satisfy their sexual urges (outside marriage) than to divorce the mother of their children... (who is gonna cook, raise the kids and clean the house if he divorces wifey?)
- some married men love their wives even thou they are no longer sexually attracted to the baby whale that wifey turned into (after childbirth)
- some married women turned into real demons after marriage (aka showing their true character), and even thou their husband hate their wives and are against divorce, they aint against going outside marriage to fulfill their sexual desires.
- who will reimburse the bride price if this man divorces his wife?! isnt it much better to go find sexual happiness outside marriage and manage the wifey at home (as cooking/cleaning assistant)?

BTW cheating (to these men) is like having a snack on the way home to have dinner. no big deal!

neonly:




Your analysis is of a child am sure you are not married just watching some reality program on TV or watching daddy and mummy life style
U got no idea at alllllllllllllllllll