CoolNL:
I and my siblings grew up in a very dramatic polygamous home, it was both hectic and toxic at a time.

We vowed to break the yoke of polygamy in our family but I don’t know if I’m toeing the line already.

I already have a child with a lady though I didn’t marry her, but we ended our relationship in 2020. We are cool and we are both taking care of our child without troubles, we only talk about our child and we don’t share what’s going on in our lives with each other.

I recently met a girl I plan to marry by the first quarter of next year, she is from a nuclear family and she knows about my family background as well. She’s been asking me what I’ll do if the mother of my child says she won’t allow my child visits or come spend the holidays with me except she is also allowed to come spend the holiday with my child in my house.

The question sounds confusing at the same time funny to me because I don’t know how a woman I stopped seeing since 3 yrs will suddenly say she won’t allow my child visit except she comes along.

That’s not my worry, I want to know if marrying my girlfriend when I already have a child with another woman will make me a polygamist.

Mod please help move to front page

Cc RoyalRoy

Olarewaju89:
If you marry this your new girlfriend, then you have continue the polygamous from where your family stop.

1Sharon:


Lol. they got married because they wanted to bear Mrs and they took whoever came along.

CoolNL:
I and my siblings grew up in a very dramatic polygamous home, it was both hectic and toxic at a time.

We vowed to break the yoke of polygamy in our family but I don’t know if I’m toeing the line already.

I already have a child with a lady though I didn’t marry her, but we ended our relationship in 2020. We are cool and we are both taking care of our child without troubles, we only talk about our child and we don’t share what’s going on in our lives with each other.

I recently met a girl I plan to marry by the first quarter of next year, she is from a nuclear family and she knows about my family background as well. She’s been asking me what I’ll do if the mother of my child says she won’t allow my child visits or come spend the holidays with me except she is also allowed to come spend the holiday with my child in my house.

The question sounds confusing at the same time funny to me because I don’t know how a woman I stopped seeing since 3 yrs will suddenly say she won’t allow my child visit except she comes along.

That’s not my worry, I want to know if marrying my girlfriend when I already have a child with another woman will make me a polygamist.

Mod please help move to front page

Cc RoyalRoy

1Sharon:


Then he shouldn't have had a baby with her.

Will he be happy if his sister was done like that?

1Sharon:


Lol. they got married because they wanted to bear Mrs and they took whoever came along.

tiswell:
Now,you have just exposed their agenda all along.
Shalom!

1Sharon:


Lol step fathers do the same. I'm sure you've heard of step fathers sleeping with their step daughters.

Ceska:
If you are having children from more than one woman, except in a situation where you lost your spouse, you are a polygamist. I will advise you to make it work with the mother of your son. He is your first son for crying out loud. It may seem smooth for a while , until him and his step siblings mature. The issues that will arise will be more than enough to send you to an early grave.

tiswell:
if the step daughter is of age of consent,I guess they are two grown adults.

their body,their business!



Some step mothers also do same with their step sons,so what's the fuss?

Khayceeofficial:
If you really did grow up in a polygamous home, you'd realise fathering multiple children with different women is only an intentional act to make the children suffer

I'm sorry but you failed yourself and your siblings already. If you really were intentional bout avoiding polygamy, you would have never birthed a child with a woman you sure knew you wouldn't Marry

First step in avoiding polygamy is self control over women. Though very difficult but you can't avoid polygamy without doing this first.

Whatever step you take asides marrying the lady the birthed your first child, drowns you in polygamy and believe me, only children get to suffer that one step you take.

Take this as someone who's currently in that reality. Polygamy is a selfish act. I use those words to remind myself continuously

Khayceeofficial:
■ If you really did grow up in a polygamous home, you'd realise fathering multiple children with different women is only an intentional act to make the children suffer I'm sorry but you failed yourself and your siblings already. If you really were intentional bout avoiding polygamy, you would have never birthed a child with a woman you sure knew you wouldn't Marry. First step in avoiding polygamy is self control over women. Though very difficult but you can't avoid polygamy without doing this first. Whatever step you take asides marrying the lady the birthed your first child, drowns you in polygamy and believe me, only children get to suffer that one step you take. Take this as someone who's currently in that reality. Polygamy is a selfish act. I use those words to remind myself continuously

CoolNL:
■ I thought polygamy is when you are married to more than 1 wife at a time. I never marry before, I have never taken anybody to the altar of marriage.

CoolNL:


Oga make I explain to you small maybe you will modify your comment. We were dating and she got pregnant (not in Nigeria) I begged her that I was not ready for that at that time she insisted she must keep the baby, she even went as far as telling our pastor who told me she is my God’s destined wife, I insisted that God cannot send my destined wife knowing that am not ready. After much persuasion from everyone including my parents I agreed to father the child with her. Everything was cool till 2020 when she said she can’t continue

I begged because I didn’t want to have kids with 2 different women I used everything to beg her but she said she is taking the decision because of my son, she said we will be happier apart

NB: I brought them back to Nigeria and I traveled to another country, I applied for them to join me twice and they were denied visas, I allowed her live freely but she always refused to take my son to visit my family for reasons best known to her.

Make I stop here because the story long well well. I beg the both women dey on NL here and dem dey follow the thread I don’t know their monikers but I know they are here

Khayceeofficial:


Having a goal to break the yoke of polygamy, getting her pregnant was your first mistake when you were unsure of being ready for it.

Bruh, if there's anything I don't wish even the person I hate the most, it's polygamy. That shit ruined my own family and till today I know my dad could have avoided that shit if only he had that self control over women. Self control that would have been knowing not to get a woman pregnant when he knew very well he didn't wanna go down that lane with her. My dad got a second wife after he had given birth to 8kids (boys n girls) with my mum.

The only definition I find of that is a selfish human cos every little piece of my family that was hanging on then tore apart and really caused chaos.

Unfortunately, you got yourself into a mess already. Saying you haven't married that lady doesn't take away the fact that you both have a child together. That child would never genuinely experience real love from a family. Even when the kids unite, women aren't designed to love anybody asides their own children.

Sorry if you find this offensive but polygamy traumatized me and I'm just warning bout it. Stay blessed

Khayceeofficial:
■ Having a goal to break the yoke of polygamy, getting her pregnant was your first mistake when you were unsure of being ready for it.
Bruh, if there's anything I don't wish even the person I hate the most, it's polygamy. That shit ruined my own family and till today I know my dad could have avoided that shit if only he had that self control over women. Self control that would have been knowing not to get a woman pregnant when he knew very well he didn't wanna go down that lane with her. My dad got a second wife after he had given birth to 8kids (boys n girls) with my mum. The only definition I find of that is a selfish human cos every little piece of my family that was hanging on then tore apart and really caused chaos.
Unfortunately, you got yourself into a mess already. Saying you haven't married that lady doesn't take away the fact that you both have a child together. That child would never genuinely experience real love from a family. Even when the kids unite, women aren't designed to love anybody asides their own children. Sorry if you find this offensive but polygamy traumatized me and I'm just warning bout it. Stay blessed

Kobojunkie:
After growing up in it, this is still just what you came away with?

CoolNL:
■ You be goat, Mr know it all… I have been following your comments on NL, you only spew nonsense.

Kobojunkie:
In addition to gaining little to deep insight/wisdom as far as polygamy after growing up in it, you also spend your time monitoring my life on NL? Congratulations!

CoolNL:


She is obviously seeing another person already, I don’t want to get back with her even if she is not seeing anyone. As for my babe making life difficult for my son.. I don’t think that will happen