Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up - Family (5) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up (21873 Views)
Seven Major Causes Of Divorce In Nigeria / The Plight Of Kids In The Midst Of Divorce And Separation / Kayan Mata, Cause Of Alarming Rate Of Divorce In Abuja, Other States (2) (3) (4)
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| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 3:32pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
WantsandMore: I see. The generational issues bring up the economic factors. Nothing just happens. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Poske95(m): 3:43pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
taylor89: Wat is a good marriage..... ?! It's for men and women called husbands and wives only.....with balls |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Poske95(m): 3:45pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
talented321: The women in this category were meant for the streets. ...there were prostitutes who made good wives |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by forerunner022(m): 4:02pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Media145:In your mind you are more spiritually sensitive |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by JasperVII(m): 4:06pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
People can speak all the English they want, but the simple truth is this: men and women have abandoned their roles in the society. Men no longer play the roles meant for them; they no longer lead their women/families well, they no longer provide, protect, care for their families well. They no longer know what it means to be men. Women on the other hand no longer want to be women. They want to be men now; they want to be "independent", they no longer want to submit and allow the men lead, they want "equality". So many things all in the name of "wokeness", some will say "this is the 21st century, things have changed". Everyone has abandoned their natural roles, emulating the west and their decayed society. Older generations weren't like this, and they enjoyed long lasting marriages unlike what we're seeing now. Of course we're going to keep having broken homes, failed marriages, high divorce rates, badly raised and fatherless children. What do you expect when people go against the natural order of things? 1 Like |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 4:06pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
forerunner022: Sorry bro, you won't understand. It's not all about being more spiritually sensitive. But some things are very deep, not everyone will understand it. Sorry bro. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by MrBrownJay1(m): 4:34pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Tallesty1: you must be bipolar....1st you say that self love (aka selfishness and/or what makes them feel right and what benefits them, without considering the needs of others) is the reason for divorce today.... and when i thereafter replied that "people need to love themselves before they can remotely think of being good parent who love their family"... you now gave me the above answer. so which one is it sir, because you certainly are saying the complete opposite now?!?!?! are you ok?! sadly, Nigerian society/culture is very simple on this issue, you are a nobody unless you are married, therefore you can love yourself all you want, society will look down on you because you aint married. these unmarried people would feel inferior to others because they aint married, thus why they cant fully love themselves. this is the kind of people that the Nigerian society/culture is breeding.... but the reality is that, before you enter any marriage, you need to fully love yourself FIRST, something that a person that is viewed by the Nigerian society as a FAILURE cant do. Which identity fah? Professional Identity? What would they have been? hunter, wine tapper? wrestler? warrior? you see, the above is exactly what i am talking about... back in the days these women were happy being somebody's wife (aka her identity is irrelevant as she is just known as someone's wife), while women today want to be somebody just as their husbands are. they want to be called by THEIR names (and not as someone's wife); they want to be valued by what they have achieved in life (not just as someone's wife); they want to be able to "be somebody" without being automatically attached as someone"wife. do you see the difference?! When civilization got to them, women were not left behind. Women have always been will forever continue to be the breadwinner in many homes and you will not hear this outside. Don't say it is because they never had money, they have always been able to cater for themselves and their children.Who force fed them this sh1t? you are certainly lying to your own self if you want to deny that Nigerian women today are viewed by the society as failure, unless they are married... thus why the majority dont care that a woman is successful; thus why people today still look at women like Linda or Genevieve and shamefully tell them to "GO AND FIND HUSBAND O" You are making it seem like it is only women that experience this unhappiness, disrespect and abuse in marriage. NO, both men and women suffer the above in marriage.... but a man's solution could be to find second wife or mistress before remotely thinking of divorce, while a wife would have only one option....DIVORCE. Unhappiness? Do you know that a woman making more money than her husband will make her unhappy? Should she divorce then? Well some do, don't make it seem like when successful women leave, it is because of the man. There is been a change in our value system, society has made it seem like more is better and contentment is a myth so some women go for more and more. A obese woman is likely to file for divorce after losing weight. the majority of women who leave/disrespect their husband the minute they start making more money than him, are women who never loved that husband to begin with. these are women who were just looking for a free ride with someone that was willing to offer them a better lifestyle.REMEMBER, as i told you earlier, LOVE is very important in marriage. What women get after divorce in western world is enough reason to file for divorce. again, the rise in divorces in the west is completely different than the rise of divorces in Africa. these are two different culture/society that shouldnt be mixed. People marry for shitty reasons now. the sex too hot damn, let's get married. People don't even vet their partners, s/he is nice to me, I wanna marry him/her. Forgetting that a person being nice to you doesn't maen the person is a nice. What feels good is always good. you are now confirming the points B, C and D that i made in my intial post (that you earlier contested, lol) How is a woman standing proudly beside her husband a problem? Not where I come from because over here we dey use our wives show off. as much as many women (who got nothing to bring to the table) would love to be a TROPHY WIFE, the reality is that many would rather be valued AS AN INDIVIDUAL WITH THEIR PERSONAL LIFE ACHIEVEMENTS. back in the days, being somebody's wife was the koko, but today, unless you are the wife of Dangote/Ned Nwoko/Davido etc, you are a nobody that people wouldnt talk about. the only reason people would talk about someone's wife is if she has achieved things on a personal level Wanting to make family decision is not the same as being equal to a man. People who think like that are sick. Women make family decisions all the time, only a sick man will see a problem there. Make I ask my wife not be folk tales. again, in NIgeria, most men believe they are the HEAD OF THE FAMILY, thus why most believe that all family decision must be taken by that man (i wont even talk about religion who is MORE FIERCE on this subject). so if/when you have a wife that now wants to make the important decisions for the family too, it doesnt go so well [b]BECAUSE MAJORITY WOULD BELIEVE THAT THIS WIFE WANTS TO GO AGAINST THAT MAN'S AUTHORITY. there can only be one pilot in that marriage "boat", and sadly, majority of the time, men want that job for themselves, even if they make less money than wifey. thus why, many women in such marriage sometimes want to use their money advantage to try to have authority in marriage, and it leads to divorce. A woman who submits to a sane husband makes most of the family decisions. LOL, the only decision a sane African husband would let a wife take, are in the kitchen. the minute that decision is against what that man wants for the family, then it will be his decision that matters. 2 Likes |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by greatestdestiny: 4:50pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
taylor89: You can imagine.. To further buttress your point. This head thing too began the crises that turned someone I know into a baby father today. He was asked to come and give a head, and he said nope, not in the mood. And that was it. The truth is when you date someone who has no fear of God, take it or leave it, you're so so done. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by baggy4luv(m): 5:00pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
fixitbyjal:your contact..PLS |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Chinny024(f): 5:02pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Media145: Cos they decided to hate each other for reasons best known to them na. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by binswoli: 5:07pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Damn, this is a very critical question though. Nowadays, married doesn't seems to be marriage anymore, it's another thing entirely. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Gospel2Day: 6:14pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
taylor89: Very sensible comment by you. Kudos. To answer your question: "Who invented this head giving sef"? It was invented in Hell and exported to earth. Anyone and everyone who practises oral or anal or any other sexual orientations or positions, apart from the missionary sex position with man on top of the woman lying on her back facing the man, shall have their portion in the afterlife in the Hellish Lake of Everlasting Fire. Whoever argues this will find out to their eternal regrets when they die that it is true. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by achimendy(m): 7:13pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Media145: Ok. I'll give some reasons that are evident in our society today. 1) poverty: this has contributed to the high rate of divorce in Nigeria, they tend to be no respect among couples because of lack and want, thereby leading to quarrels and fight. 2) people get married because of physical appearance not love: this another factor in today's world, where a man can get married to a woman because she has fine shape and beautiful face, and a woman can decide to marry a guy because he's handsome and tall, but unfortunately appearance doesn't determine the success of marriage. 3) social media influence: gone are the days when family is the only instructor, but now is not like that. Blessing CEO will give her own, tonto dikeh will do her own too and the rest of them. Who you take advice from matters, not just in marriage but life in general. 4) bad friends: this is another factor too, is not all friends that want you to succeed in your marriage. Some out of jealousy give wrong advice to their married friends , while some sleep with their married friends spouse. 5) lack of fear of God: the bible says the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. When couples fear God they hardly separate. Let me stop here for now. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by pooozeee(m): 7:30pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
The social media and bad friends are the major factors responsible for family breakups in the Nigeria today |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by SaturnNick(m): 7:31pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
taylor89: |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 7:43pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
achimendy: Great points there bro. Very true. 1 Like |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by sumboty: 8:17pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Having read most comment here, this is my submission on the matter... The first is Foundation. Everything in this world exist because of foundation, and most marriage lack's that.. we need to ask ourselves the Question? What is or what will be the foundation of my marriage.... Then if we go deeper into it, we'll realize that most family are only founded on lie's, dishonesty, and pretence.... The second is family and parental background, but it sad the many parents have failed in that responsibility to inculcate good character in their children's upbringing.. I was reading a comment where someone mentioned that reason why divorce was rear in those days was because women were jobless, i laughed 🤣 at that mentality, but I tell you, one of the reasons marriage last then was because the had good Parenting background back then, and everyone knows his/her responsibility, then men were raised to be hard working and engaged in skills, while women were raised to be prepared for parenting, in areas like cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and their husband, learning skills like trading, hair making, bid making, clothes making etc... Both knows their responsibility in a home, but that can't be said of this generation, where a man don't even know his responsibility has a husband and father and same the woman also... Third is Sacrifice and tolerance .... My Personal wants and needs... In this area we all fits in no one is exempted, but some only apply wisdom and mature in selfcontrol.. the attitude of my wants is all that matters and that of my partner is not important, forgetting that marriage is all about sacrifice and tolerance, i have seen where toothbrush position in the house has ended a marriage before, forget that the two shall become one body, and no more thinking of oneself alone again but both together.... Let me pen down here for now, many areas of divorce have been outlined and talked about earlier too on the platform, so many good point of view have being raised as well..... Now the question is how can we change the dying tide of broken homes (divorce) around with the point most have raised here.... |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 8:36pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Hmmm...., good points there! Well articulated. Well said. Let's wait for more contributions. Let everyone give their solutions to the problem of divorce. Let's hear from you all. Regards. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by esthel(f): 9:04pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Very mediocre piece |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Emmanuel909090: 9:18pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Speechless |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Talk2nanro(m): 9:26pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
Akwamkpuruamu:Now this is the only person that really understood the root cause of divorce |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by yinkbell: 11:31pm On Jun 13, 2023 |
People should ask themselves, who instituted marriage? What's the purpose of two people coming together? Most electronic devices come with operating and maintenance manual from the manufacturer. If the operating manual is missing, then abuse of the device is inevitable. Many People who entered into marriage did not consult the author of marriage before delving into it. Some who consulted the author of marriage but failed to follow the operating manual given to them will find their marriages at the vanishing point. It is God; author of all things that can uphold marriage. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 12:52am On Jun 14, 2023 |
Good points. People fail to involve God in their marriages. It's also responsible for marriage failure. Very true. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by RALPHOW(m): 3:51am On Jun 14, 2023 |
Simply because people don't have heart of forgiveness again. Marriage is about forgiveness!!! |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 6:51am On Jun 14, 2023 |
RALPHOW: People are no longer forgiving and letting go of issues anymore. It's now a heartless world. A selfish world where everyone is only interested in their own personal satisfaction and welfare without caring for others. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by scrupulousblog: 7:39am On Jun 14, 2023 |
taylor89:Pornography is at the root of all these sexual perversions |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 11:40am On Jun 14, 2023 |
scrupulousblog: Very true. Many people are addicted to pornography. It's a killer of destiny. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by sumboty: 12:26pm On Jun 14, 2023 |
It's because the world is getting more cruel and dangerous everyday, the morality of being a human is not of value again, we now see doing things the right way as bad and the wrong things as right RALPHOW: |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by bepositive11: 12:28pm On Jun 14, 2023 |
Exactly. That's the key. Two people who are committed to making it work. Socratiz: |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 12:33pm On Jun 14, 2023 |
sumboty: And people now live a life of lies and hypocrisy. The turn white to black and turn black to white. They are simply very insincere. |
| Re: Why The Rate Of Divorce Is High & Why Families Break Up by Media145(m): 12:35pm On Jun 14, 2023 |
bepositive11: Yes, commitment is key. But many people are not willing to be committed anymore. |
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