You are not legally married to the woman you are living with.  Why would she not give things to her children and treat your son differently? 

Your wife has had 4 caesarians, two still births. 4 caesarians!! That's craziness right there.  In your desperation for another child you are accusing her of being selfish - oh gee let's see, if she risks her life to give you a child (because that is what she would be doing), that's best for everyone?  Why do you think "the doctors aren't helping issues"? Hint: it's got to do with the 4 caesarians!

So you're in a 8-year relationship, and looking at marrying another woman.  What are you doing differently from what you claimed your first wife did with your uncle?

The guy probably married a widow, thinking he can take advantage. Climb social ladder and inherit her wealth all through a marriage that is not legal. HINT:All her documents are in the name of her kids" Why will she want to give her husbands property to another man's child? It seems the use for this woman has come to an end. Kindly tell her she is no longer useful to you and move on with your life. I will not advise that you have a child outside, this your second wife will chase you away, and destroy you. There, you will lose everything. Just discuss with her and come to a mutual agreement. Also, having a child outside wedlock or an "arrangement" is usually the worst decision you can ever make. Kind of like setting yourself up for big issues in the future. That child you are looking for deserves the best possible opportunity you can give it. Your son also deserves a semi stable home. Although I doubt he will ever get treated fairly no matter who you marry. As you are selfish, so is everyone else. Goodluck to you. In the process of looking for what you want, try to be clean about it. End relationships like the mature person you are before jumping on another one. So you don't burn bridges and you and future wifey are not stripped of all possesions by madam widow.

2mch:

The guy probably married a widow, thinking he can take advantage. Climb social ladder and inherit her wealth all through a marriage that is not legal. HINT:All her documents are in the name of her kids" Why will she want to give her husbands property to another man's child? It seems the use for this woman has come to an end. Kindly tell her she is no longer useful to you and move on with your life. I will not advise that you have a child outside, this your second wife will chase you away, and destroy you. There, you will lose everything. Just discuss with her and come to a mutual agreement. Also, having a child outside wedlock or an "arrangement" is usually the worst decision you can ever make. Kind of like setting yourself up for big issues in the future. That child you are looking for deserves the best possible opportunity you can give it. Your son also deserves a semi stable home. Although I doubt he will ever get treated fairly no matter who you marry. As you are selfish, so is everyone else. Goodluck to you. In the process of looking for what you want, try to be clean about it. End relationships like the mature person you are before jumping on another one. So you don't burn bridges and you and future wifey are not stripped of all possesions by madam widow.

True talk, umm, very tough decision.

You want a woman you claim to love to die cos you want a child? after 4 cs, you can open your mouth and harden your heart and tell her to get pregnant again? so she doesnt like life ehn? so if a doctor warns you not do have sex after surgery as it has a high chance of causing your death and your wife comes to say try it just once so she can have a child after knowing your predicament. wont you come here to tell us how your wife wants to kill you?
Abeg, I understand if you say she did not tell you she had reached the maximum allowed to give birth by cs before you hooked up with her but to say you knew she had 4 cs and still want her to risk her life for you?Nna men the woman wan chop rice and chicken for long too naa.

You call c section just? Its a big change to a womans body.Its a major surgery that that woman has done 4 times.

I ve known two cases where men forced their wives to have babies cos they wanted boys and the women died after giving birth. Leaving the selfish men to live long and enjoy life while their kids are under the care of step mothers who dont really care about them.

Sincerely Op, the story is a little confusing and complicated.

Why is your wife scared of getting pregnant?
Why trying IVF when your wife is refusing to get pregnant?
How were the first two children had? Through IVF I suppose
I guess your first wife was not properly divorced
Are you planning of making this new lady a second wife or planning to divorce your current wife?
What if this other lady does not get pregnant also, will you go ahead and get another woman?
Where is your own first child? Can't you be contented with that child?

My opinion, your case shouldn't be as complicated as this if you're really thinking very well and in the right direction.

No one has an right to deliberately deny the other spouse the joy of
having a child,
Your wife is selfish - point blank,
If the table was turned and you had 2 kids from a previous relationship
and then gave an excuse why you don't want kids, I can bet you - heaven
will turn,
The purpose of having a marriage is to take care of each other, have seeds
and bring them up in the fear of the Lord,
That is why before I get married I would have asked all the questions I
need to ask.
Your wife needs to understand that your mum will be eager for a grandson or daughter,

lastpage:

Here we go again!
From everything l have read so far and your clarifications concerning "your needs and your marital affairs", l will make some summary!

Now,l got to be brutal about these; many women would not fancy my position but they are all entitled to theirs as well.

Need: Your own biological child. End of story.
From your submissions, you dont need a wife in the actual sense. Your wife #2 may come across as selfish but that is human nature: Humans are selfish by nature! Simples!!

For me, what your wife does is actually not totally within your control, thats a bitter fact of life nowadays! If you marry her for the next 30yrs and she does not want to bear children for you (for whatever reason, which l think she should have been able to convince you of, in 8yrs!) SHE WOULD NOT EVEN GET PREGNANT, how much more bearing a child!

So, whats YOUR OPTION(S)?:
1.)Would your wife change her mind? After 8yrs, l dont think so. Infact, forget it, you cant have a child by her!

2.) Wife #3? A dangerous possibility but then "you're falling in-love with her" and men are stewpid when they fall in love; they cant think rationally and like someone pointed out, what if She wont/cant bear you kids nko?
What will you do? Wifey #4? Naaah, stop hopping around man, you no be Grasshopper now, abi?

3.) My suggestion: Since l am convinced that what you need is your own biological children, IMPREGNATE A WOMAN (any sane woman) and LET HER DELIVER THE CHILD FIRST and FOREMOST. Dont give yourself out again on this one o! Rein-in your emotions.
Check me out properly o!

a.) I did not say marry a woman or the woman (dont complicate your situation with further marriages right now.)
b.) I mean just "impregnate any fertile woman" (adult and of-age, of-course! ). Support her till baby is delivered.
Then ask yourself and herself, if marriage is for both of you afterwards!

Advantages:
1.) You will have solved your biggest headache.
2.) You could still keep your "wife #2", (if you still want her or if she still wants you; Thank God its not a legal marriage, she for show you pepper! ).
3.) The new "mother of baby" might even decide she does not want to marry you or just wants to be paid-off (like surrogacy)
4.) You can shop-around for a wife #3 then (if thats your wish), without the pressure of "l want a child", maybe just for pure love and bliss!
5.) At times, one cannot get all we want in a "single product".
(I like Volvo cars for strength but l like Toyota for fuel efficiency and l like the ruggedness of Mercedes cars but can l get all these attributes in one car? Dont think so! So, l buy a Volvo first and sell it later, buy Mercedes next and sell  it later and now that fuel is getting costly, maybe its time to get a Toyota! ). Since wifey #2 cant give you your won biological kids, get it elsewhere and she can remain if she wants or since she is not even "your real wife" (women consider the first wife, the real wife, right?), she can go back to her being a widow.
(Who the heck came-up with the car-analogy on this thread! )

But please, be careful in jumping into another "marriage". It can cause you a lot of grief!
Marriage should be off-limits for you. You can have a child without being married (White peeps call it "partner" or "cohabiting", No strings attached!

Remember the saying: When disaster comes, it does not come singly! They come in droves!
You have a 90% probability of making another mistake, as per marrying another wife!
In your position, your judgement about marriage is just no longer reliable (it is beclouded by your "need" and you will likely make another fatal error unless you sort out that "biological need" first.

See why l say its not going to be "ice-cream, lovey-dovey" stuff? Brutal stuff!!

Lastpage.

BTW: Be careful, if this "possible wife #3" knows you're desperate for a child, you're finished! That your "weakness" would be used against you, all the remaining days of your life and it wont be amusing at all.
I pray that you will use wisdom, even from above.
Cheers.

Thanks man, seems you understand me well.

From responses here, people dont seem to understand how bad i am hurting. Let me state categorically here that i didnt marry a rich widow. No! I am trying to be modest here- i am better financilally than the late husband. What i meant by she made me who i am is this- Considering where she works, an opportunity came up, we put heads together and joined finances and then the boom. This same money has been sustained and have multiplied greatly in my hands. Yes i respect her for bringing that opprtunity my way, but then does it justify her seizing documents to my properties just because i registered the title documents in the name Mr & Mrs when we quarelled.  Does it justify when her relatives come, she expects me to do the whole world for them while my own people should make do with almost nothing? Her brother came asking for over a huge sum of money i cant mentiom here, running into tens of millions- i was coerced into parting with that money uptill now, no sign of repayment. No effort on her side to ensure that money comes back. Instead what i get is a reminder of how if it wasnt for that deal, i wouldnt have the money i have. That is pure baldadash.

Moreso, now my business is down at the moment, does it not tell her that its high time she tells her brother to return my hard earned money? Instead she is so busy to the extent that she has forgotten i have needs. She no longer cooks, we no longer smile talkmore of laughing. Then my need as a man has also been left to suffer. She comes back home at 11pm and then all she wants to do is sleep. Whenever i am around during the weekend, she finds every reason to go out, when im out of town she is always at home. Have i all of a sudden begin to irritate her sexually? Or am i no longer a man because i am not too bouyant as i used to be?

I recently found out that she took the kids to her late husband's place and when i confronted her she said and i quote "you know the kids are theirs please, i see no reason why you are blowing out the roof top" Can you guys imagine that? I was going through somethings only for me to even realise she acquired some properties and registered them in the name of her kids without my knowledge. (i am not against that, but i feel she should have let me know before getting those properties, at least i wouldnt have stopped her)

Ok now, can someone especially the ladies tell me why she would refuse the surrogate mother option i raised. The doctor would get my semen and her eggs get them fertilized and implanted into another woman to help us carry till delivery and she refused. Isnt that selfishness?

I dont want to go on and on. I know people change. I know this other lady has the capacity to change. I didnt even contemplate having another woman, but she pushed me.  I dont want to have two wives but then at this stage i dont know what to do anymore.

I am ready to forfiet everything now for my happiness. Life is too short to be living like this. She can have all of my properties that i registered in our names and im willingly to start all over with this other person if only she is willing to go that extra mile with me. This other lady is scared. She is single, never been married. She says she has never seen this kind of complicated life and she is scared of the outcome. I love her, she loves me- So peeps dont i deserve a second chance to love again?

can someone see the response of the female from the male
i bet you if you are the woman shoes, she will not spare this thought, she would have poked another man and have the child she needs, listen marriage is about children, simple! if she cannot, kick her ars.e out and get a woman that can give you children!

chiozor:

can someone see the response of the female from the male
i bet you if you are the woman shoes, she will not spare this thought, she would have poked another man and have the child she needs, listen marriage is about children, simple! if she cannot, kick her ars.e out and get a woman that can give you children!

well said.

chiozor:

can someone see the response of the female from the male
i bet you if you are the woman shoes, she will not spare this thought, she would have poked another man and have the child she needs, listen marriage is about children, simple! if she cannot, kick her ars.e out and get a woman that can give you children!

If I were in the woman's shoes I would make a clean break and move on.  I would not marry a man who didn't want any more children.

If I were the man I would not marry a woman who had 4 caesarians if I was adamant I wanted another child.

It is obvious that communication between  him and the woman he is living with has been poor to non-existent for 8 years.  If he's so unhappy he should make a clean break rather than mess up anyone else's life for another 8 years.  Instead he wants to have his cake and eat it.  I would never advise a woman to behave like that.

Now there are some issues i need to deal with?
1. This lady feels i just want to marry her because i want kids- How do i convince otherwise
, if you don't love her, you wouldn't want kids from her as well, let her know she is not the only girl in the world and for you to stay committed, you have something in common and you are going to prove it to any length to let her know you truly love her and God has join you together
2. Am i really on the right track?
, Sure, if your older wife can keeps another man kids for you to train,their is nothing wrong in you having your own kids because you real child is your investment cause you may not have anything to account for if their biological father finally come to claim those two
3. how do i let my present wife into this whole arrangement without hurting her feelings
, .A man heart must be brave like that of a lion, I don't see it as your wife, you just a care taker and see yourself as someone being use to take care of someone else children, if she can't get you a baby, get some where else and still cares or her, no mumu for this world,your evening hours of life is your children not someone else children but before telling her, make sure the new wife get a baby first and do not do any legal marriage yet,
4. there are so many issues i just cant say here, i just need you ppeople to sincerely advise me withour hurting my feelings,
Life is lesson, count on today, worry less about tommorow and who will be there for you if you leave, Your children is important, a woman is a loan and the profit is yours, the profit of any man is its children, don't be silly man

Lying pig focker

@poster! whether you like it or not, you are fool of shits! you will fall in love ten times in future. ADULTERER! advice yourself, dig your own grave and climb in with ladder, those women will help you to close it with concrete. BE CAREFUL AND GO BACK AND LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE!

stainny:

@poster! whether you like it or not, you are fool of shits! you will fall in love ten times in future. ADULTERER! advice yourself, dig your own grave and climb in with ladder, those women will help you to close it with concrete. BE CAREFUL AND GO BACK AND LEARN THE TRUE MEANING OF LOVE!

Wetin him hadult, No bi person marry 56 wives, go siddon drink garri

Abeg posters

Carry go and marry as much as you can.do not listen to critics;maybe someone else collected their girlfriend

All i feel for you is pity.
The past is gone, yea, u may have made a mistake with how u jumped into these marriages but that is not a valid reason for you to be treated this way by your current wife.
Why do i feel if your financial status gets worse, your current wife wont hesitate to find her way out?
How are u even sure the money your wife's brother "borrowed" was not kept in safe custody for a rainy day for ur wife?
Now supposing something terrible(God forbid) happens to u, can u imagine the suffering ur current wife will subject ur biological child to?
After all said and done, there is enough pointer for u to make ur decisions.

Lastpage's advice might just be your best bet for now.

My brother, lastpage hit the nail on the head.

Last page, I really appreciate.

Thanks

@poster

I feel your pains. Sadly from your last post i see a woman who is no longer happy or in love with you. While i dont believe that a third marriage will definitely solve your problem, i also dont see you being happy living under your present circumstances.

Why dont you try convincing her again on the surrogate motherhood stuff? CS on four occasions is the reasonable maximum to ensure a womans safety so why waste funds on IVF?.

Did you both agree on the doctor to use or she chose one on her own?

Are you sure the new lady can look after your son as her own? Is she strong enough to withstand the storm? How do you know for sure that she will bear your kids?

Are you sure your wife doesnt know about your new catch? She may be reacting to that without telling you.

I know men who didnt have  loving and peaceful homes until the third/fourth attempt. Life is like that when the ladies you deal with are far more matured or experienced than you. They know the end from the beginning and plan accordingly while you are blissfully in love. Your girlfriend may or not be the solution to your problem. Now a child is uppermost in your mind but other problems may crop up after so you have to be sure that you will be able to cope .

Somehow i see this woman being more focused on tying all loose ends knowing that she may have to walk away soon. Or how do we explain the movement of funds to her brother (which you are unlikely to get back), acquiring assets without your knowledge and the recent lack of interest in you?

Avoid taking a hasty decision cos you may regret it. If possible, take a short holiday or an assignment out of base and give yourself time alone to pray and meditate over all these. Taking your girlfriend along will only becloud your views. Talk to a neutral and elderly doctor who can advise you both before you take a final decision.

Best wishes.

^^^At last a lady with an objective mind.

Thank you.

@ Poster

You're ONLY solution is to go back to your 1st wife. She is your first/true wife. But have she remarried to someone else? If she has, then u really have a big problem, which i cannot discuss the solution here. But if she's still single, i bet you simple resolve the infidelity problem with her and take her back, that's the end of your problem.

Can you forgive a woman who decides to be sleeping with a blood relative. Please let's be real here.

I can't go back to her even if she was still single ( she has remarried)

I'm still hurting because of what she did and I am still trying to let go.

Please going back to her is not an option

cheetah@02:

^^^At last a lady with an objective mind.

Thank you.

"Objective" because people say what you want to hear?  

It's your life, your choice.  If you have to come on the internet for people to tell you what you want to hear, you are not serious.

cheetah@02:

Can you forgive a woman who decides to be sleeping with a blood relative. Please let's be real here.

I can't go back to her even if she was still single ( she has remarried)

I'm still hurting because of what she did and I am still trying to let go.

Please going back to her is not an option

I would not suggest you to go back to someone you claim has cheated on you, but are you not doing the same thing in your current situation and desperation for a child?

Deal with your past hurts, if you can't repair it make a clean break with your current wife.  Don't disgrace her, yourself and your son by bringing in another woman.  The only person who "benefits" from this is you, not them.

Another woman with contrary views to the norm.

I don't believe in marriage by force either, and despite the mistakes you might  have made or not laying the right foundations, you regardless deserve your happiness.

If having a another child of yours is your main issue, then go for it. As lastpage (i think) advised, another marriage is not exactly the way forward now. The whole marriage banner just over complicate issues.

There is no point crying over split milk; you need to make the most of your current situation and a man ggast to do what makes him happy.

But can i please ask that in any decision you take or make, try and come clean and clear. You owe every single person the truth; your current wife, girlfriend, son and even step kids. You would be surprised how easily ppl accept and deal with the truth. Even your current wife kinda expects it, thus putting several mmitigation in place.

Note, it is not cast to in stone to work out fine, but at leastyou would know you followed you heart. If it fails, you just dust yourself and re-plan

^^^thanks so much

You are so impulsive and unorganized. You first need to get your act together, don't think you know exactly what you need now because you are blinded by your obsession to have children of your own that is why you want to marry a 3rd wife at all cost.

What you need to do is to come to God, He can help you and grant you all your heart's desire. He only can organize your life and give you a sence of direction. What if you marry wife number3 and still not able to get children due to one reason or the other. Think about it and make a wise choice.

AT CHEETAH LET NO ONE DECEIVE YOU, YOU ARE PROMISCUOUS, STOP LOOKING FOR REASONS TO JUSTIFY YOUR INFIDELITY. IN YOUR REPLY TO LASTPAGE, YOU MADE POINTS AFTER POINTS TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE, (SHE IS SELFISH) SO NOW AFTER 8 YEARS, IT IS NOW BITING YOU TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD ABI?? I SEE YOU AS THE SELFISH ONE HERE, IT IS NOT BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN, BUT AM WEIGHING ALL YOU HAVE SAID, AND IT HOLDS NO WATER, YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF THE CHILD YOUR FIRST WIFE GAVE TO YOU, YOU ARE CRYING OF ANOTHER, BLAMING THE CHILD CARE ON YOUR SECOND WIFE.

I bet you were sleeping with this widow during your first marraige before you found out your first wife was sleeping with your uncle, that was why it was so easy to take on a widow with kids already, (na wa!!!! see iseku-ise), and you are ALready thinking of pushing this widow away to satisfy your ''wants'' all in the name of wanting a child you cannot take care of. Go and satisfy your desires, have as many children you want from different women, and see what happens in old age.

^^^^please stop jumping into hasting conclusion

OP
no need staying in an unhappy marriage. have you discussed divorce with your current wife? why not just live your life alone for a while?

cheetah@02:

^^^^please stop jumping into hasting conclusion

If you think am jumping into hasty conclusion, then too bad for you, if you were my brother, wahlai, i will tell you same thing, it is easier for some men to advice you about this and that, especially when they are not in that situation and they are sticking to their own woman and home, and help in destroying another persons' life. Your life is in your hands and you obviously have not made right decisions from the beginning and you are still thinking of making the same mistake over again, in different colours. This children you are talking about, would forever be their mothers' whether they come from your groin or not, imagine your first child, when becomes a fully grown man, what he would think his father was, then your step children,and your potential children, the person suffering the consequences of your promiscuous nature is your child from the first wife. Show this boy love, he is your child, you sound as if you do not have any child at all.

@poster were you aware before you got married that this lady will be unable to have any kids for you due to medical reasons?

@Cheetah@02
I am getting, like other peeps, a clearer picture of your relationship, as you shed more light on your issue. I will respond to "specific areas" of your posts, in bits and pieces.

From responses here, people dont seem to understand how bad i am hurting. Let me state categorically here that i didnt marry a rich widow. No! I am trying to be modest here- i am better financilally than the late husband. What i meant by she made me who i am is this- Considering where she works, an opportunity came up, we put heads together and joined finances and then the boom. This same money has been sustained and have multiplied greatly in my hands. Yes i respect her for bringing that opprtunity my way,.,.

I am happy that your conscience "has set you free" and that you are not some gold-digger, as some people here have insinuated. I am even happier that you acknowledge the part she played in your success, that is what spouses should be doing with each other. Dont despair, be strong, for yourself.

but then does it justify her seizing documents to my properties just because i registered the title documents in the name Mr & Mrs when we quarelled. Her brother came asking for over a huge sum of money i cant mentiom here, running into tens of millions- i was coerced into parting with that money uptill now, no sign of repayment. No effort on her side to ensure that money comes back. Instead what i get is a reminder of how if it wasnt for that deal, i wouldnt have the money i have.

Moreso, now my business is down at the moment, does it not tell her that its high time she tells her brother to return my hard earned money? Instead she is so busy to the extent that she has forgotten i have needs. She no longer cooks, we no longer smile talkmore of laughing. Then my need as a man has also been left to suffer. She comes back home at 11pm and then all she wants to do is sleep. Whenever i am around during the weekend, she finds every reason to go out, when im out of town she is always at home. Have i all of a sudden begin to irritate her sexually? Or am i no longer a man because i am not too bouyant as i used to be?

Am always amazed why some men "cant read the handwriting on the wall?
Whenever your spouse (male or female) starts taking certain steps, you should be receiving the "alarm bells" in your head!
Your antennae should be doing overtime and your instincts of self-survival should kick-in.

Please ignore all those comments about "you trying to make-up with your wife #2" in anyway!. ITS A TRAP!

Let me put it bluntly: YOUR MARRIAGE IS DEAD A LONG TIME!. You were only leaving in a fools paradise, for some time now.
Please answer me this question sincerely and truthfully: Did you marry wife #2 LEGALLY? Or did you just hobnobbed with her?
If you did not marry her legally and she has no issues for you, she cannot "inherit you in anyway".
Let her take your property documents and hide them

1.) Now that you're still alive, l believe your demise will be next on the agenda once you start showing some presence of  mind!
Madam knows the marriage is dead and buried, that is why she has taken some "pro-active steps" to protect her interest (like buying separate property in her children's name, using her brother to scam some money from you (you will never get that one back ), gravitating towards her dead husbands family while alienating yours and coming home late without a care!

2.)Take that your only biological son and relocate him to one of your family members, for the time being (for his own personal safety)

3.) Take anything that is of value to you out of your current house and keep with friends (not household effects like TV, e.t.c., those ones can be easily replaced when you settle down). I am referring to documents, certificates, e.t.c and anything she can use against you in future!
Is it a surprise that "some" wives "true color" only comes out when their husband is experiencing financial difficulties? Its not a coincidence at all! We read it here almost on a daily basis.
Most peeps would never know the true color of their "spouse", UNTIL HARD TIMES SET-IN, AFTER ENJOYING SOME RELATIVE GOOD TIMES!

4.)Rent another apartment (room and Parlour for a start now, l understand you are going through financial difficulties right now). Relocate there. I can assure you that "Madam" is smarter than you and you could end-up eating "Rat-Poison" very sooner than you expected. Eat nothing except she would allow you to share it with her two children! A kind of "mini-insurance", you know!

5.) Concerning your "Property documents" that she took stole (when you take someones things without permission), dont loose a single sleep over it. When you're out of that house, "declare those documents STOLEN AND LOST". Go to Police station and report them stolen (you dont know who stole them or how). Go to court and do a sworn affidavit about them. Use that to file for new, "REPLACEMENT" documents.
You might need to spend a few quid, not much so dont fret!

6.)Next time she dares bring out those "stolen documents" she will be arrested for stealing them! S-I-M-P-L-E-S  
She has no single entitlement to your property (and she is stowing hers away using her kids name! => you have been denied access to her properties, by that move!). Henceforth, any important property you have, can be in your "real son's name)

But remember, you can only do the above "If two of you are NOT LEGALLY MARRIED".
If you are legally married, the "approach will be radically different".

Again, let me warn you: Once you start, No GOING BACK! Those who go back end up DEAD!
Dont let the "smell and taste of punnany" lure you back! It may be your last phuck!
She will begin to try "all the old tricks" on you once she knows you're up for "whatever" is coming and its just a trick to bring you down.

I recently found out that she took the kids to her late husband's place and when i confronted her she said and i quote "you know the kids are theirs please, i see no reason why you are blowing out the roof top"
Ok now, can someone especially the ladies tell me why she would refuse the surrogate mother option i raised. The doctor would get my Fluid and her eggs get them fertilized and implanted into another woman to help us carry till delivery and she refused. Isnt that selfishness?

Leave matter, something like that can never happen. She has moved-on, a long time, without you knowing!

I am ready to forfiet everything now for my happiness. Life is too short to be living like this. She can have all of my properties that i registered in our names and im willingly to start all over with this other person if only she is willing to go that extra mile with me. This other lady is scared. She is single, never been married. She says she has never seen this kind of complicated life and she is scared of the outcome. I love her, she loves me- So peeps dont i deserve a second chance to love again?

Solve one "dangerous problem" first, before adding another to it.
I know how it feels when you're in love with a woman (Remember how you felt, when you met wives #1 and #2?), Compare it to how you are feeling about "both" now!
What does that tell you? : Put Not Your Happiness in ANY HUMANBEING!
Love but keep your head Up! Humans are wired to "change" and they will always change! Change faster, even in this age of "technology" where your 'spouse' needs not live your bedroom in order to fornicate! from faceBook, Twitter, Bebo, Yahoo, Google Talk and a thousand other social media, not to mention the portability and ubiquitous-ness of "Communication Devices" available!

Take it very slowly with the "new woman".
Like l said earlier, you can impregnate her if she wants and allows (at least you are moving in the right direction) but please DONT EVER MARRY ANY WOMAN LEGALLY, AT LEAST FOR NOW! NOT even for Love!
It will only complicate your already complicated situation and can only bring your more heart-ache!

Extreme as that may sound, its the truth, the sort of truth that fits your situation!

I wish you the best.

Lastpage.

BTW: Dont be scared of anything, but be very wary and cautious. You're  a man and dont let anyone cower you into submission (which is what happens when one spouse gets overwhelmed by another spouse!)

BTW Poster, you siad you could not forgive your first wife because of her infidelity, but now that your cheating on your 'traditional wedded second wife'' you would expect her to forgive you when she finds out that you are being milked by another woman?? hen?abi no be so?

But ronkebp, what first madam did bad now, how can wifey be s.hagging inlaw,